ILOVEANNANICOLE
@ILOVEANNANICOLE
7 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 1 · Topics: 1
I need advice
What should you do?
Firstly, stop initiating contact with this man. You've fallen into the category of being the pursuer here. Initially, he asked you out thus being the pursuer. You accepted which meant you were receptive to him. Now the tables have been turned by you, and you have been asking him out and calling the shots, and he's not being receptive to you. You need to restore the balance and allow him to pursue you - if he wants to.
If he is asking YOU out then that tells you he's interested in you.
If he is NOT asking you out then that tells you his level of interest in you - which is little to none.
By YOU asking him out, how can you gauge if he is truly interested in you?
He may accept your invitation but he may well now only be luke warm about you hence him not bothering to meet with you.
Secondly, you've only had two dates with this fella. That means you've probably spent between six to ten hours with him, if that. It's hardly a significantly ground breaking amount of time to start being territorial over him or demanding some level of respect over and above the modicum warranted for dating. Just because you felt the earth move with him, doesn't mean he did too. He was probably being nice and polite towards you on the two dates because having manners costs nothing but two dates is not the same as an exclusive and committed relationship so do expect his behaviour to be measured accordingly. Would you have preferred it if he were an unpleasant arsehole towards you?
Lastly, date others. Do not just date one man, have two dates and then expect it all to work out perfectly from there. It is OK to like him and enjoy his company but a little reservation is required. Let's not yet wet our panties over a man and declare our undying love for him just because he showed a little charm and interest in you. He is possibly dating others and quite rightly so. Finding a good quality partner to match you is no easy feat. It takes time and a few frogs need to be kissed. It is quite possible, and bear with me while I state something unpalatable for you, but he may not be that into or attracted to you. Shock horror! It does happen!
I would suggest not contacting him at all. No need to read him the riot act or provide him with a list of demands. No one likes that shit. Just leave him alone. If he wants to ask you out on a proper date, ideally a dinner or something substantial, and if YOU wish to accept then feel free. However, dating someone is the way you get to know someone. People will SHOW you who they are when dating. This guy has already shown you that he thinks it's OK to make a plan and then just not pitch up or make contact with you, even to re-arrange it. He's showing you who he is. If this flakiness bothers you then perhaps this is not the guy for you. Perhaps you need someone more stable. I'd also be clear with what it is you are looking for. Is it a serious relationship, just casual dating, friendship, casual sex, a fuck buddy? Whatever you want then you need to find someone who not just says he wants the same as you but shows you he wants the same as you.
And whatever you do, don't shag him because you'll come back on here with a new thread wondering why you're confused etc...
Firstly, stop initiating contact with this man. You've fallen into the category of being the pursuer here. Initially, he asked you out thus being the pursuer. You accepted which meant you were receptive to him. Now the tables have been turned by you, and you have been asking him out and calling the shots, and he's not being receptive to you. You need to restore the balance and allow him to pursue you - if he wants to.
If he is asking YOU out then that tells you he's interested in you.
If he is NOT asking you out then that tells you his level of interest in you - which is little to none.
By YOU asking him out, how can you gauge if he is truly interested in you?
He may accept your invitation but he may well now only be luke warm about you hence him not bothering to meet with you.
Secondly, you've only had two dates with this fella. That means you've probably spent between six to ten hours with him, if that. It's hardly a significantly ground breaking amount of time to start being territorial over him or demanding some level of respect over and above the modicum warranted for dating. Just because you felt the earth move with him, doesn't mean he did too. He was probably being nice and polite towards you on the two dates because having manners costs nothing but two dates is not the same as an exclusive and committed relationship so do expect his behaviour to be measured accordingly. Would you have preferred it if he were an unpleasant arsehole towards you?
Lastly, date others. Do not just date one man, have two dates and then expect it all to work out perfectly from there. It is OK to like him and enjoy his company but a little reservation is required. Let's not yet wet our panties over a man and declare our undying love for him just because he showed a little charm and interest in you. He is possibly dating others and quite rightly so. Finding a good quality partner to match you is no easy feat. It takes time and a few frogs need to be kissed. It is quite possible, and bear with me while I state something unpalatable for you, but he may not be that into or attracted to you. Shock horror! It does happen!
I would suggest not contacting him at all. No need to read him the riot act or provide him with a list of demands. No one likes that shit. Just leave him alone. If he wants to ask you out on a proper date, ideally a dinner or something substantial, and if YOU wish to accept then feel free. However, dating someone is the way you get to know someone. People will SHOW you who they are when dating. This guy has already shown you that he thinks it's OK to make a plan and then just not pitch up or make contact with you, even to re-arrange it. He's showing you who he is. If this flakiness bothers you then perhaps this is not the guy for you. Perhaps you need someone more stable. I'd also be clear with what it is you are looking for. Is it a serious relationship, just casual dating, friendship, casual sex, a fuck buddy? Whatever you want then you need to find someone who not just says he wants the same as you but shows you he wants the same as you.
And whatever you do, don't shag him because you'll come back on here with a new thread wondering why you're confused etc...
/thread
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