My ex Taurus...full of BULL?

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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Hi...I'm new to this site & kept coming across it when I'd search up some things about diff zodiac signs, so I decided to finally register! Anyways...I wanted to tell you a little about my situation & hopefully give me some insight & advice on what you think is going on. So about 2 years ago I started to date a Taurus ( I am a Virgo btw, they say we're a great match). It was pretty good in the beginning, but then he decided to be a little sketchy. The 1st time was when we had plans to hang out & he started not to answer his phone or reply to texts so his SISTER had to tell me "he lost his phone" which was just an excuse, he actually DID have his phone, but was just avoiding me. I thought ok, not a big deal, but atleast tell me you would rather not hang out instead of leaving me hanging. So I let it go. Then there was another time where I got a message from some guy on Facebook telling me to tell my bf to stop hitting up his girl. He told me my Taurus was calling her up and telling her to come over and hang out and drink. I immediatly got furious and told him about it and he told me she was a close friend and that she was going through some abusive issues with her dad. & so again I let it go because I understood. BUT it still made me mad that he would do it behind my back instead of just being straightforward and honest about it. So my trust for him was starting to fade little by little by these things he would do that made him really sketchy. A couple months went by & he told me he wanted to go on a break and I kept asking why? But he was never the "communicating" type. So we went on a break because he thought I was "too bitchy", I'm sorry didn't know being so open and honest was being "a bitch". ANYWAY...a couple weeks went by and we still talked during that break & I told him I was working on being "too bitchy" & then he told me I was "being too nice". I was COMPLETELY confused. We got back together after some arguments and then I found out he went on a, what I guess you could call a "double date" with some girl and his cousin & his gf. I felt completely upset as you can imagine. I dislike his cousins gf because I got a bad vibe off of her, but I always acted civil towards her. So then we started dating again and everything went back to normal as if nothing even happened. Christmas came along and he showered me with so many gifts and he even got me what was "an engagement ring" but it was more so a "promise ring" he never really told me what (cont'd)
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

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Sorry couldn't fit it all in 1 post...he never really told me what it was, but I assumed it was a "promise ring". Couple weeks went by & he started flirting with this girl I used to go to HS with and would do it behind my back. I was just so sick of his BS and this roller coaster. During the next couple of months his grandfather got really sick with cancer & I tried being very supportive, but he never wanted to talk about it so I stopped bringing it up. He was VERY close to his grandfather. A couple months later his grandfather passed away. I of course went to the wake, but did not go to the funeral because my father had to undergo an important surgery & I could not miss it. I'm sorry to say I didn't go but we were NOT married & my father comes first before anything, my immediate family does at least. We dated for about 11 months at this point btw. He got very upset because of it, but I really couldn't do anything about it. He wouldn't really talk to me as much after that & was even more distant, so he ended up changing his relationship status to single on FB without talking to me about it. I even went to his house and dropped off every single thing he had given me. I didn't want anything to remind me of him & I wanted him to have it so he wouldn't forget me. Apparently, it worked. Months went by and we didn't talk anymore until Christmas came by and he messaged me on Facebook, all nonchalantly like nothing even happened, "Hi whats up? how are you? I miss you. how is everything?" type of BS. And of course I answered and replied positively. He started to text me once and awhile out random and text me hearts and "I love you" here and there. I was just completely confused by it all. He text me asking to hang out and I said yes, we just talked about a bunch of things and he told me he would date me again. SO WEIRD. Months went by again didn't see him and he would still text me at random times. Some days he would go MIA other days he would text me non-stop. This would go on and on and I kind of got sick of it. So I stopped texting him and replying back, & at times he would text me 7 times in 2 mins. Saying, "answer me, hello, hello, hi, answer right now" so the next day I would answer and be like what did you want? He would say, "just wanted to say hi & want you to be nice." He would say things like "I know you love me" & he even asked me out again... TWICE. Last time was a couple of days ago. He even said "things wouldn't be so dysfunctional this time around"
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

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...(cont'd) after I said, "why now?" He doesn't have a car & I don't drive so we couldn't see each other. I know if either of us had a car we'd be going out again, maybe. But I wanted to know what you think of this Taurus? Is he playing mind f**k games or is he being serious? .. sorry it's such a long post, but I had to describe to whole situation in depth. & btw by "cookiemonster" in the first post, it really means "b*tch" LOL.
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Posted by monszm912
...(cont'd) after I said, "why now?" He doesn't have a car & I don't drive so we couldn't see each other. I know if either of us had a car we'd be going out again, maybe. But I wanted to know what you think of this Taurus? Is he playing mind f**k games or is he being serious? .. sorry it's such a long post, but I had to describe to whole situation in depth. & btw by "cookiemonster" in the first post, it really means "b*tch" LOL.



LOL and again censored, ah well...you get the point. If not, it's the "B" word. Haha.
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Xin
@Xin
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 267 · Posts: 3037 · Topics: 43
@Mons

First, welcome to the board!

Do you possibly know a little bit more about his chart too? If so let us know so we can at least get a more in depth look at his placements.

I read this all and I am going to be as honest as possible with you. I've had this type of thing happen to me before and if a man really appreciated you and loved you he wouldn't be pulling this here today gone tomorrow type thing. As you sat there and typed this all out reading over it you know something is wrong. Your female senses going off and you know it. There is a ton of red flags. Believe me I have the same issues easier said than done.

It seems to me he doesn't really know what he is doing and is testing the waters, pushing your boundaries to see how much he could possibly get away with. How much is enough? What happens if one day the boundaries that you have set up are completely gone and he comes back to you saying "Oh by the way I slept with someone, sorry", while you guys were on a "break"? Looks like it's ok for him to go out on dates and see what else is out there and hey it didn't work out so TAKE ME BACK! I love you blah blah, and mind you this is after he called you "too bitchy", leaves you, goes out on a date, then comes back? Excuse me? No.

Find someone that will respect your boundaries and treat you the way you should be. You know this isn't how it should be.

Like I should talk though with my issues!
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Posted by Xin
@Mons

First, welcome to the board!

Do you possibly know a little bit more about his chart too? If so let us know so we can at least get a more in depth look at his placements.

I read this all and I am going to be as honest as possible with you. I've had this type of thing happen to me before and if a man really appreciated you and loved you he wouldn't be pulling this here today gone tomorrow type thing. As you sat there and typed this all out reading over it you know something is wrong. Your female senses going off and you know it. There is a ton of red flags. Believe me I have the same issues easier said than done.

It seems to me he doesn't really know what he is doing and is testing the waters, pushing your boundaries to see how much he could possibly get away with. How much is enough? What happens if one day the boundaries that you have set up are completely gone and he comes back to you saying "Oh by the way I slept with someone, sorry", while you guys were on a "break"? Looks like it's ok for him to go out on dates and see what else is out there and hey it didn't work out so TAKE ME BACK! I love you blah blah, and mind you this is after he called you "too bitchy", leaves you, goes out on a date, then comes back? Excuse me? No.

Find someone that will respect your boundaries and treat you the way you should be. You know this isn't how it should be.

Like I should talk though with my issues!



Thanks for the welcome. & all I know is that he was born on May 5th so idk what that says? Thanks for your advice, it's just so tiring to deal with it all the time. I might have to change my number.
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Posted by robyn808
I??ll give you the right answer on one condition??_. You trade me all your innocence and ignorance for all my experience and baggage.

You guys are just figuring out how to be grownups. Every experience is new, so make mistakes, get hurt, and get over it. It will teach you about who you are and what you want, just don't do anything permanent for a few more years.

I've seen a lot of people take this —Taurus?? behavior as being shady or dishonest, but I see it differently. You've made it clear that you want answers, but he probably doesn't have them. I'd say the retreat, is more so, a way of avoiding that conversation, because he's not exactly sure how he feels one way or the other. (I'm hiding right now)

My guess is that he does love you, just not sure if a relationship with you is exactly what you both want or need, and he's taking the time to figure that out. A Taurus can be very careful about choosing their words, you haven't found that anything he's —SAID?? has ever been untrue. He went on a date after he called for a break. He was upfront with you, and in the simplest way he told you what he needed. I don't think he tried to lie or trick you. He also said he wants to —date you again?? So don't assume that he has made up his mind.

You gave this explanation about him, and questioned his feelings. But what do you feel about him? Because your description gives me the impression you really just have lukewarm feelings, and you??re more worried about making the wrong choice, if so just find somebody else who has a car. If your feelings for him are hotter than that, then take a chance, and if it doesn't work out, then learn something from it, like you should only date guys who have cars.



Thanks so much for your reply. I feel love for him, but I don't know if I'm in love with him. It's a very strange feeling that I've never went through before because I feel numb about it. I didn't talk to him for months and recently he text me saying, "why don't we try to be friends?" & I was completely down with that as I didn't care anymore. So I was like ok. & then he replied back, "yeah so you can tell me who you're f'n and so you can tell me all the dumb boys you're talking to now" & I just thought to myself wow how immature. I told him I wouldn't share that with him because I don't share that even with my closest
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Posted by robyn808
I??ll give you the right answer on one condition??_. You trade me all your innocence and ignorance for all my experience and baggage.

You guys are just figuring out how to be grownups. Every experience is new, so make mistakes, get hurt, and get over it. It will teach you about who you are and what you want, just don't do anything permanent for a few more years.

I've seen a lot of people take this —Taurus?? behavior as being shady or dishonest, but I see it differently. You've made it clear that you want answers, but he probably doesn't have them. I'd say the retreat, is more so, a way of avoiding that conversation, because he's not exactly sure how he feels one way or the other. (I'm hiding right now)

My guess is that he does love you, just not sure if a relationship with you is exactly what you both want or need, and he's taking the time to figure that out. A Taurus can be very careful about choosing their words, you haven't found that anything he's —SAID?? has ever been untrue. He went on a date after he called for a break. He was upfront with you, and in the simplest way he told you what he needed. I don't think he tried to lie or trick you. He also said he wants to —date you again?? So don't assume that he has made up his mind.

You gave this explanation about him, and questioned his feelings. But what do you feel about him? Because your description gives me the impression you really just have lukewarm feelings, and you??re more worried about making the wrong choice, if so just find somebody else who has a car. If your feelings for him are hotter than that, then take a chance, and if it doesn't work out, then learn something from it, like you should only date guys who have cars.



(cont'd)...friends. I even said, "you should come hang out 1 night with me and my friends" & he goes, "what friends? boys? that I need to break there legs?" so I said, "yes my guy friends. I'm single. what of it?" he asked how my life is & I told him it was amazing & I feel happier than I've ever felt, which is true. & then he brought up going out again. I don't get it. He's so confusing. But I will say I have been on dates, this situation def won't stop me from dating.
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venusianbull
@venusianbull
15 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
"So we went on a break because he thought I was "too bitchy", I'm sorry didn't know being so open and honest was being "a bitch". ANYWAY...a couple weeks went by and we still talked during that break & I told him I was working on being "too bitchy" & then he told me I was "being too nice"."

Let's begin, shall we? This for one. Never, and I repeat NEVER "change" for someone. They come to you correct, enamored of you just the way you stand. If you shift ground and stance you're not the same, therefore "lesser" for it. You lose your shine. For yourself and another person.

"A couple months later his grandfather passed away. I of course went to the wake, but did not go to the funeral because my father had to undergo an important surgery & I could not miss it. I'm sorry to say I didn't go but we were NOT married & my father comes first before anything, my immediate family does at least. We dated for about 11 months at this point btw. He got very upset because of it, but I really couldn't do anything about it. He wouldn't really talk to me as much after that & was even more distant, so he ended up changing his relationship status to single on FB without talking to me about it."

Of course you had to be there for your fathers surgery. He knows this, he'd have liked you to be at his Gramps' funeral. You showed your support by attending the wake. He was having a tant over it, hence the FB change. ( Which I think is pretty ricockulous imo, either you're with someone or you ain't. )

As to the 'games'. Hard saying. Sometimes there is push/pull because someone is a dick, and at other times it's because heart and head are at war. Or perhaps downright muddled. I want...( do I? )..they fit...( am I sure? ). You know the drill. Nothing we haven't foamed over in the deep of the night sobbing into our bears tummy and wiping jet black streaks of L'Oreal Stiletto off our cheeks over.

You care about him, but you don't feel the grand throes of love. Don't feel that high of highs you are feeling should be there. In my honest opinion I'd invite him over for a coffee and a chat. Lay everything out and go from there. Nothing to lose really, much to gain in the end. But it will isolate where everything lies and give a ledge to peek over.
One other thing. You will find that as time goes on, being comfortable with someone..letting them know you absolutely; is far more rewarding than zooming around a room with your heart in your throat. Trust me.
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Posted by venusianbull
"So we went on a break because he thought I was "too bitchy", I'm sorry didn't know being so open and honest was being "a bitch". ANYWAY...a couple weeks went by and we still talked during that break & I told him I was working on being "too bitchy" & then he told me I was "being too nice"."

Let's begin, shall we? This for one. Never, and I repeat NEVER "change" for someone. They come to you correct, enamored of you just the way you stand. If you shift ground and stance you're not the same, therefore "lesser" for it. You lose your shine. For yourself and another person.

"A couple months later his grandfather passed away. I of course went to the wake, but did not go to the funeral because my father had to undergo an important surgery & I could not miss it. I'm sorry to say I didn't go but we were NOT married & my father comes first before anything, my immediate family does at least. We dated for about 11 months at this point btw. He got very upset because of it, but I really couldn't do anything about it. He wouldn't really talk to me as much after that & was even more distant, so he ended up changing his relationship status to single on FB without talking to me about it."

Of course you had to be there for your fathers surgery. He knows this, he'd have liked you to be at his Gramps' funeral. You showed your support by attending the wake. He was having a tant over it, hence the FB change. ( Which I think is pretty ricockulous imo, either you're with someone or you ain't. )

As to the 'games'. Hard saying. Sometimes there is push/pull because someone is a dick, and at other times it's because heart and head are at war. Or perhaps downright muddled. I want...( do I? )..they fit...( am I sure? ). You know the drill. Nothing we haven't foamed over in the deep of the night sobbing into our bears tummy and wiping jet black streaks of L'Oreal Stiletto off our cheeks over.

You care about him, but you don't feel the grand throes of love. Don't feel that high of highs you are feeling should be there. In my honest opinion I'd invite him over for a coffee and a chat. Lay everything out and go from there. Nothing to lose really, much to gain in the end. But it will isolate where everything lies and give a ledge to peek over.
One other thing. You will find that as time goes on, being comfortable with someone..letting them know you absolutely;
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Posted by scorchedearth
i can't tell if your indifference is just that- or if its fake because you keep taking him back into your life. you need to decide what you're actually feeling, not what you think you should be feeling, and go from there.

i'll tell you though- it does seem forced because every time he makes any type of effort to be back in your life you allow him back.

if you're really sick of his shit you can always hand him his walking papers.

if you want him to stay in your life you do have every right to call him on his shit and let him know he can either shape up or kick rocks.

what are your feelings most real feelings about all this?




I'm honestly just really indifferent & don't know how to feel. But I just let the situation be because I never contact him unless I REALLY want to say hi to see how he's doing. Last time I text him was this past Sat the 5th which was his bday.
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Striking
@Striking
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 276 · Topics: 17
Thats right ignore me, but take this ^^^^ one's advice and Im sure you will be back here crying talking bout he has decided to commit to this other woman that he has only been knowing a short bc he was strining you along all the time.
Women need to know when to hold and when to fold. And if you don't demand some respect you wont get none. Cause as far as I am concern this says I don't respect you..So yes don't listen to me..Hope Tikki comes along..
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 4
Posted by Striking
Thats right ignore me, but take this ^^^^ one's advice and Im sure you will be back here crying talking bout he has decided to commit to this other woman that he has only been knowing a short bc he was strining you along all the time.
Women need to know when to hold and when to fold. And if you don't demand some respect you wont get none. Cause as far as I am concern this says I don't respect you..So yes don't listen to me..Hope Tikki comes along..



Well, I'm not crying about anything, I am going on with my life & dating like I stated before. But I just wanted to know why he keeps coming back to me all the time. I know for a fact he's single and not really talking to anyone at the moment. But I will take your advice on demanding respect as I have been doing. Thanks.
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monszm912
@monszm912
13 Years

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Update: I gave him another shot we've been dating since June and here he is again doing the same old BS. Distancing himself and ignoring my texts and calls. I literally just got off the phone with him and I'm trying to be nice and all he can say is "I'm going out with my boys, don't be jealous" "Don't cry, don't be weak" And if this was the old me 3 years ago when we first dated I would've broke down and cussed him out, but no I continued being nice and ended the phone call by saying "I love you" and his response? "hate you". I don't understand. And I honestly think I made a huge mistake to give him a second chance. It still hurts this time around. To think he might've changed...even a little bit. Should I break it off or try to talk to him about it? As if that would even work because he's terrible with communicating. Idk if this makes any difference, but he works a lot and many hours. Idk I wish he would make some time for me, but he just hangs out with his friends. When he's in a good mood he's the greatest boyfriend ever, but when he gets into these moods I regret ever knowing him.
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bkbella86
@bkbella86
14 Years5,000+ PostsAries

Comments: 3 · Posts: 7849 · Topics: 52
Posted by Striking
Thats right ignore me, but take this ^^^^ one's advice and Im sure you will be back here crying talking bout he has decided to commit to this other woman that he has only been knowing a short bc he was strining you along all the time.
Women need to know when to hold and when to fold. And if you don't demand some respect you wont get none. Cause as far as I am concern this says I don't respect you..So yes don't listen to me..Hope Tikki comes along..



Great advice and tiki always gets it right as well...
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bkbella86
@bkbella86
14 Years5,000+ PostsAries

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Posted by monszm912
Update: I gave him another shot we've been dating since June and here he is again doing the same old BS. Distancing himself and ignoring my texts and calls. I literally just got off the phone with him and I'm trying to be nice and all he can say is "I'm going out with my boys, don't be jealous" "Don't cry, don't be weak" And if this was the old me 3 years ago when we first dated I would've broke down and cussed him out, but no I continued being nice and ended the phone call by saying "I love you" and his response? "hate you". I don't understand. And I honestly think I made a huge mistake to give him a second chance. It still hurts this time around. To think he might've changed...even a little bit. Should I break it off or try to talk to him about it? As if that would even work because he's terrible with communicating. Idk if this makes any difference, but he works a lot and many hours. Idk I wish he would make some time for me, but he just hangs out with his friends. When he's in a good mood he's the greatest boyfriend ever, but when he gets into these moods I regret ever knowing him.



I would say stop talking, that equals nagging. Also I think you shoud take a page from his book. Distance ya self and use the time to think about what you really want. He has you at his beck and call it seems. When a person can tell you dont be weak dont cry, it seems like he views you as weak or has in the past, not a good thing coming from your bf. But i do think you should break it off, there is no respect here. Also dont you want someone who wants to spend time with you instead of being coerced into doing it?
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lnana04
@lnana04
15 Years5,000+ Posts

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Virgos. My sister was in a similar situation with one for three years. Kept hanging in there, forgiving him, not getting in return as much as shes giving.

The last straw was seeing him with someone else and her washing her hands of the situation.

He acted like a jerk afterwards but since then he's apologized, invited her out(basically a game to see if he still had it since he cancelled 5minutes later) BUT my sis went out that night with someone else AND posted the pics of her meal on FB. Hes been calling, liking her pics, commenting on her profile....just doing more now that shes moved on and when I say shes not sweating him anymore I mean it. Shes putting on more weight and just looks better now that shes not stressed wondering about what hes doing, feeling, thinking anymore She went to a NBA game with someone last night.

In the end it kills guys like this when they dont have you anymore. You are no longer there for them to treat any kind of way. Literally eats away at them when youve moved on for good. Keep taking him back until you cant no more and close that door for good.
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SensualCancerChika
@SensualCancerChika
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 157 · Topics: 15
Girl let that man go for good this time. He is no good. you deserve better and I am sure there is somebody out there that will show you what its like to really love somebody. This right here isn't love its all about control. He knows he got you and he is never gonna change. Most taurus men like to play mind games and they are stuck in their ways. If it didn't get better the second time around, then its never going to get better. Move on take bkbella86's advice and little by little you will see what an ass this man really is.

good luck to you.
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LunarMaiden
@LunarMaiden
13 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by monszm912
Update: I gave him another shot we've been dating since June and here he is again doing the same old BS. Distancing himself and ignoring my texts and calls. I literally just got off the phone with him and I'm trying to be nice and all he can say is "I'm going out with my boys, don't be jealous" "Don't cry, don't be weak" And if this was the old me 3 years ago when we first dated I would've broke down and cussed him out, but no I continued being nice and ended the phone call by saying "I love you" and his response? "hate you". I don't understand. And I honestly think I made a huge mistake to give him a second chance. It still hurts this time around. To think he might've changed...even a little bit. Should I break it off or try to talk to him about it? As if that would even work because he's terrible with communicating. Idk if this makes any difference, but he works a lot and many hours. Idk I wish he would make some time for me, but he just hangs out with his friends. When he's in a good mood he's the greatest boyfriend ever, but when he gets into these moods I regret ever knowing him.




You are putting up with too much crap.
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AquaLuv
@AquaLuv
13 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 0
My bull, and I have read many others, are pretty shady in the beginning. I don't know why that is though. I don't want to give you false hope and tell you it gets better but for me we are here 6 years later and now in a much better place. I had to keep laying down the law until he got it and it takes awhile for them to get that you really not for their games. I read up on bulls and it seems once you get past the hump it is beautiful but right now I know it doesn't seem like he is worth all of the aggravation and lies so I would tell you to leave because it is a lot of game playing and mind tricks before you get to the promise land I tell you. Is he worth all of that to you and do you want to continue going through it. I would say keep your options open because I kinda wish I did while I was going through the merry go round of bull.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4771 · Topics: 30
The OP was born in the 90s...and there seems to be some real juvenile 'tit' for 'tat' taking place on Facebook.

My guess...

The OP's boyfriend is an unevolved Taurus playboy who is simply not ready to be monogamous.

Posted by Heaven
I'm a Taurus and I've done the whole disappearing act and returning a few times in the past because I'm not the best at communicating verbally and wanted to know for sure if she liked me.





I have done this as well....but my gut instinct tells me this guy already knows how she feels. He's not pulling disappearing acts, he's very much in the picture....

Loverboy is just keeping his option open.