How on Earth to Get a Taurus Back

I date a Taurus. PERFECT in the begining. He did everything you could imagine. He went into distant phases and was mean sometimes. I broke it off and gave him a list of reasons why. he refused to talk to me. I felt bad. I did everything to get him to come back and he did a month later. He did something kind of mean. I went off on him in the worst way possible for about a week. He would not talk to me for a month no matter what I did and then after 3 months of trying he would. Things were real shaky and uneasy, I could tell he still had resentment. he wouldn't commit again and I refused to try things on his terms. Fast forward of off and on with us trying and then we stop talking for a month and a half. I go to his house and let him know i've found someone but want to see him one last time. He tries to have sex, kiss me(which he had not done since when i 1st messed up) and tells me he loves me when I am tying to leave. I think he is trying to manipulate me to get sex. I leave. Go a few blocks. Turn around and go back. I ask him. If you love me why are you letting me leave and why won't he try with us. He won't talk. I was in tears and distaught. I go ahead with the relationship. He tells me it won't work. He was right. 6 weeks later I levae the guy and i told him. weeks after that i tell him i love him and he is shady. i write 2x saying I understand him more, i will be as patient, as understanding and I will wait on what ever decision he makes but I know I want him and will do anything to learn how to love him. He is open to sex but will not discuss "us" or "emotional/personal stuff" about us. I text him, i am done chasing him and then call and he picks up and says, talk about anything but us. I say i am going to never contact him again because i am tired of chasing him. after a week i contact him and he says "i thought you were never going to contact me again". i say you know after 2 years that is not the truth and i will love you on end unless you come out and tell me to go away. He says how many times do you need to be told. (he's never said it) and I say you never have, so do it right not and i will go away. 5 mintues pass then i text "crickets" 5 more minutes pass and he text "play by yourself". I text see this is what i mean. My question, I love him to death (he knows this). what should I do? keep trying or walk away? is he done or just thinking?

You disappeared, retreated. You wouldn't meet him halfway on much of anything. You abandoned him for another male. You go back to him thinking he'll pick up a sword and fight for you ( ?!?!?! )when you've offered him pain. You reject him sexually ( he was trying to assert claim and return of feeling..this is what we do. ) You think you need to 'learn to love him' when it should flow as naturally as breathing. You don't learn to love, you simply DO. These are games, whether you realize it or not. Hoops, unending hoops to jump through..and for what? If you drive someone away they are not keen on coming back. He's weary of the games Crablette. Get your head right and IF, and that is a very big 'if' he is amenable to having you back make sure you come correct and with your whole heart. No questions, no 'buts' and no other man in your thoughts.

Posted by venusianbull
You disappeared, retreated. You wouldn't meet him halfway on much of anything. You abandoned him for another male. You go back to him thinking he'll pick up a sword and fight for you ( ?!?!?! )when you've offered him pain. You reject him sexually ( he was trying to assert claim and return of feeling..this is what we do. ) You think you need to 'learn to love him' when it should flow as naturally as breathing. You don't learn to love, you simply DO. These are games, whether you realize it or not. Hoops, unending hoops to jump through..and for what? If you drive someone away they are not keen on coming back. He's weary of the games Crablette. Get your head right and IF, and that is a very big 'if' he is amenable to having you back make sure you come correct and with your whole heart. No questions, no 'buts' and no other man in your thoughts.

I could not have said it better...I can almost assure you that Taurus men don't come back after a betrayal, they will buck their heels in the dirt and the more you think you are pulling him towards you, the more he will pull the other way. We love deep and we will show you, but once we see that you didn't take us seriously we will disappear, It's like VB said..you don't learn how to love Bulls, the love for us has to come naturally and the thing is that we will smell it a mile away when someone is not real or not loving us from the heart.
You need to be true to yourself and then maybe your Bull will come back..honestly I don't see that happening..at least not right away..he is hurt and he will take his time to make sure that doesn't happen again. You have lost his trust.
It will take time for you to win his trust back...if you ever do. We love hard and deep and we hurt deep also.
Good Luck😉

I do know that me being a Taurus when I break ties, I dont look back. I dont even stay as friends. Even when I just think that you are capable of hurting me I will turn the other way and leave. You will never find me. And if some day you do, it's only because I allowed myself to be found, by that time my heart will feel nothing for you. Taurus males are a tab more flexible than Bulletts, but not that much.
They will be clingy and shower you with love, but once hurt or rejected they will become mean and cold hearted.

Oh no! this sounds bad. And he does think I am playing games and i thought i was showing him i wasn't. It is all very confusing because he stalks me in secret. I decided to make my facebook page private and he created another page that same day and requested my friend so he could be a friend of a friend and see my page. Should I just leave him alone and not contact him or should I just call once every 2 weeks. His best friend call and tries to get me to go to parties where he will be. I find that fishy. What do i do? Or do I do nothing?

Oh and this is the other thing. He is open to sex but i am afraid to get into a sexual relationship with out committment and then I end up hurt. Yet, i do want a sexual relationship with him. he knows i have been single for a while and he knows that i will not sleep with anyone. I have slept with two diff men in 6 years. He told me he is emotionally closed and has a lot of financial problems. He has owed me $ 2k for over a year. He feels really bad about it. I never mention it .... anymore at least.

He will have to see that you are truly sorry for what occurred. It wont be something that will happen over night. Yes do call him but just as a friend, don't let him see that you are trying too hard...you need to let him come back on his own, we don't like to be pushed or rushed.
You need to have patience with him...No expectations. If you get lucky he might come back....How old is he?

He is 37 and I am 32. He is a cop so he has a authority complex too. I am a med school student so I have a ego as to, why do I have to put up with this...but I love him sooooo much and I am willing to do anything to win him back. Should I ask his friend to help me?

Also after a few weeks would it be bad or pushy or too much or too soon to ask to come over...for 'you know'? I really miss it.
*an *an above

Ok so he is not a young kid anymore....uhmmm I think you should hold back on the sex...you need to know what he truly feels..You dont want to get it all crazy as to not know if he came back for the sex or is it because he really forgave you.
I'm just saying...You can do that or just dive in with him and see where it takes you...Im not sure...Im going to PM a suggestion...Not very lady like to post it on the boards...But It can help bringing your Bull back😉

i am alll ears! anything!

You shouldn't have expected him to come searching for you, especially when you rejected his sexual advances and been with another man. The latter is forbidden in Taurus dictionary... lol

But past is past, here is an advice - don't ever stop communication with him. Start a casual conversation by text or phone or anything and try to move it towards an emotionally intense one. 😉

I think I will wait a month. Is that too long?

Posted by cancerlovestaurus
I think I will wait a month. Is that too long?

Very... I feel like being distanced even if my cancer girl don't message me for two days. But it's upto you.. sometimes when she stops communicating -- I realize that it's she who is in need of attention and not me, and I reach out to her. 😉

Posted by c0mrade

Posted by cancerlovestaurus
I think I will wait a month. Is that too long?

Very... I feel like being distanced even if my cancer girl don't message me for two days. But it's upto you.. sometimes when she stops communicating -- I realize that it's she who is in need of attention and not me, and I reach out to her. 😉

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You are so right about that c0mrade....when i dont communicate back, its actually me that wants attention...very good..I like that...that means you are in tune with her...some guys are such asses and they make their woman suffer just so they can feel good. A sensitive man is worth millions.😉

Wow cancer, so cold. Shiver!

It seems like when I push him to talk about us and emotions he pulls away and won't talk until he is sure I am not going to push him to talk about that. Then when he opens up to communication again, I can tell he wants to see me but seems to withdraw when I only want to have convo and do not ask to come over. It takes time to tell whether the Taurus is withdrawing because they...
A) are busy
B) are mad about something with you that they won't vocalize,
C) want a different kind of attention than what you are offereing
D) having hard time with something/financial
E) A combination of the above
It's almost as if they have one button for all desires...silence. One has to become really in tune or I don't see how it could work...but I love him so much.

Posted by MzDiana
Wow cancer, so cold. Shiver!

Oh No. What did I do cold? The new me is trying for the opposite.

This is so jr high drama. What is it with you women. Why can you not play games with men. This is why men play games with you. I really hate to say this but I am tired of seeing women behave this way. And yea he will manipulate you for sex or anything else, its not so much taurus as man.

I really was not playing a game when I moved on to the next guy. I had every intension of never coming back and moving on. I had waited and waited and he would not come around soooo...I figured I move on. I did and realized how much I really could not move on.

Posted by Mooniemooneyes
This is so jr high drama. What is it with you women. Why can you not play games with men. This is why men play games with you. I really hate to say this but I am tired of seeing women behave this way. And yea he will manipulate you for sex or anything else, its not so much taurus as man.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Posted by TaurusBadGirl

Posted by c0mrade

Posted by cancerlovestaurus
I think I will wait a month. Is that too long?

Very... I feel like being distanced even if my cancer girl don't message me for two days. But it's upto you.. sometimes when she stops communicating -- I realize that it's she who is in need of attention and not me, and I reach out to her. 😉

You are so right about that c0mrade....when i dont communicate back, its actually me that wants attention...very good..I like that...that means you are in tune with her...some guys are such asses and they make their woman suffer just so they can feel good. A sensitive man is worth millions.😉

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Didn't know that means I am in tune with her. I always thought some chemistry is lacking... 😄

But she is not the same all the time... she can be the sweetest person and suddenly go all moody. But I try to cope up with that, it's kinda interesting actually.

she can be the sweetest person and suddenly go all moody. But I try to cope up with that, it's kinda interesting actually.

Us Cancers can't help that. I am the same way. It usually passes in hours to a day for me. When the moon is in Cancer and a full moon, it is really out of control. I get very moody or overy sensitve and emotional.

I texted my Taurus last night. I texted that I had messed thing up so bad between us that it is beyond words for me and that I don't even want to talk about personal things right now either but I still wonder what his eye look like at night and how the touch of his face feels. After sending that text, I called him an hour later. He picked up and spoke. (I wasn't expecting that.) He was distant as hell and would only let me do the talking. I kept it light but did ask to visit and he said no but also mentioned his son was at his house. I had forgot about that.
I swear I will do alll in my power never to do anything to hurt him again. I so want to fix this.

Posted by venusianbull

Posted by Mooniemooneyes
This is so jr high drama. What is it with you women. Why can you not play games with men. This is why men play games with you. I really hate to say this but I am tired of seeing women behave this way. And yea he will manipulate you for sex or anything else, its not so much taurus as man.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

click to expand

Can I have a Taurus man instead of the Chicken Dinner? Please and thank you 😛

Why not? We'll play swapsies today, I've got one of Cancer Camp...hmmm. Which Bull you after, we have 'Stubborn' in Medium and Extra Strength. 😄

lol yay how fun. tall sensitive yet not a sissy fun and protective. oh and he has to be cute not hot but cute. {not too picky right?}

Hey, long as he's hot to you it's allllll good woman. 😄 Welcome to "Build-A-Bull". Hmmm, business op a'knocking.

i have come to a conclusion. taurus men are cool but i do not have the patience. when i am trying to be patient with them, i tend to wander on to the next option even when i really like the taurus men.

Posted by TaurusBadGirl
I do know that me being a Taurus when I break ties, I dont look back. I dont even stay as friends. Even when I just think that you are capable of hurting me I will turn the other way and leave. You will never find me. And if some day you do, it's only because I allowed myself to be found, by that time my heart will feel nothing for you. Taurus males are a tab more flexible than Bulletts, but not that much.
They will be clingy and shower you with love, but once hurt or rejected they will become mean and cold hearted.

Off topic but if Taurus hurts me for no reason is it OK for me to treat him in the same manner? Or is this one of those "one rule for the boys/different rule for the girls" things?

It is never okay to hurt someone, bully or coerce them. If they DO they ( whomever it is ) most definitely need called out on it. That's not cool, male OR female. Good seeing you again Aries, glad you didn't fall off the face of the earth. 🙂

Posted by TaurusBadGirl
I do know that me being a Taurus when I break ties, I dont look back. I dont even stay as friends. Even when I just think that you are capable of hurting me I will turn the other way and leave. You will never find me. And if some day you do, it's only because I allowed myself to be found, by that time my heart will feel nothing for you. Taurus males are a tab more flexible than Bulletts, but not that much.
They will be clingy and shower you with love, but once hurt or rejected they will become mean and cold hearted.

How can you at one moment say you love someone and in the next turn your back on them and become as cold as ice? Loving someone comes along with being so open, that it might hurt you. But it goes for both of the parties, right? If someone makes a mistake or messes up (which can happen very fast with the sensitive bulls) you immediately shut down and distance yourself. Is there no way to work it out?

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Posted by TaurusBadGirl
I do know that me being a Taurus when I break ties, I dont look back. I dont even stay as friends. Even when I just think that you are capable of hurting me I will turn the other way and leave. You will never find me. And if some day you do, it's only because I allowed myself to be found, by that time my heart will feel nothing for you. Taurus males are a tab more flexible than Bulletts, but not that much.
They will be clingy and shower you with love, but once hurt or rejected they will become mean and cold hearted.

Off topic but if Taurus hurts me for no reason is it OK for me to treat him in the same manner? Or is this one of those "one rule for the boys/different rule for the girls" things?

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What VB said is correct...🙂

Posted by Aries04

Posted by TaurusBadGirl
I do know that me being a Taurus when I break ties, I dont look back. I dont even stay as friends. Even when I just think that you are capable of hurting me I will turn the other way and leave. You will never find me. And if some day you do, it's only because I allowed myself to be found, by that time my heart will feel nothing for you. Taurus males are a tab more flexible than Bulletts, but not that much.
They will be clingy and shower you with love, but once hurt or rejected they will become mean and cold hearted.

How can you at one moment say you love someone and in the next turn your back on them and become as cold as ice? Loving someone comes along with being so open, that it might hurt you. But it goes for both of the parties, right? If someone makes a mistake or messes up (which can happen very fast with the sensitive bulls) you immediately shut down and distance yourself. Is there no way to work it out?

click to expand

Aries sometimes you have no choice..and I dont think this is from one moment to another..I think when Bulls decide to shut down is because they have been thinking about it for a while..Taurus men are somewhat careful with who they open up to..but If i see a man is trying to hurt me that only means he doesnt love me, so I mysef will retract and move on..I will still love them but why stay when you know he doesnt value your love? I myself am in a cusp with Gemini, so I do forgive, i will stay and talk it out..Bulls wil also till a certain extent..some Bulls will not forgive..depends on a lot of things.

Posted by MzDiana
Wow cancer, so cold. Shiver!

Ditto that! Sooooo COLD. A Trait?

How can you at one moment say you love someone and in the next turn your back on them and become as cold as ice? Loving someone comes along with being so open, that it might hurt you. But it goes for both of the parties, right? If someone makes a mistake or messes up (which can happen very fast with the sensitive bulls) you immediately shut down and distance yourself. Is there no way to work it out?

That is what I don't get about Taurus. They are hard to forgive and in fact sometimes never forgive. Yet they want someone that is there for the long haul, through thick and thin and that will never walk out on them. How is it that if someone does something wrong and they know the person is truly sorry that that can walk away forever? They for sure will not just say, okay I forgive you and move on. They will have to put you through punishment. What kind of love is that?

I can see if it was intentional and repetitive but even when it is not, they can still shut down forever. Is it really Taurus pride disguised as stubbornness?

Posted by c0mrade

Posted by MzDiana
Wow cancer, so cold. Shiver!

Ditto that! Sooooo COLD. A Trait?

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I know that I react with a fervent fierce tongue to even the slightest disrespect when taurus comes with that meanness . I am a Cancer and if he pulls it when I am in the wrong mood he will live to regret it??_I get over everything fast. He doesn't. And then I live to regret it. With maturity I have learned to control my anger and tongue.

No stubborn, that check list. That frigging check list. Call it a 'shit-o-meter' if you will. Tau puts up with a lot, and I do mean A LOT. You can only eat so much brown before you've had enough. Believe that we hang onto and harbor every deep hurt, every wound. Yes and most definitely there are levels. Small slights, random day to day bull puckey, *shruggedy shrug* but intentional wounding, pushing, etc. no bueno. Once that level is reached ( Whoa hey, you need to be this tall to ride this ride ) it's a mental rift. Once all that reaches maximum capacity it's done. Like I say..put up with much. Took me 13 years to hit that level but once I did an ax fell. It didn't matter that I loved him still despite it, it was done. With zero interest of having him in my life, zero expectation of renewal, zero entertaining of such thought.

"I know that I react with a fervent fierce tongue to even the slightest disrespect when taurus comes with that meanness . I am a Cancer and if he pulls it when I am in the wrong mood he will live to regret it??_"

And THIS. You are aware of it, so I'll not flog it, BUT. If you continue to beat a dog, don't expect him to come to you with joy. Capiche?

Oh yeah. I know. I have come to see. Lol

Learning triggers is helpful on both sides. 🙂

Cancerlovestaurus: Why would you come on the Taurus board and asked for their advice. Most of the Taurus I know never admit to being wrong about anything. Its always the other persons fault whatever went down. Thats cause they are to stubborn to admit. I read your post and really feel like there is some parts being left out here for me to make a clear decision on whats what. I will just say this never chase a man down like that, Now if you want to express how you feel about him and that you have some remorse as to what part you played in the confusion ok. But all that other stuff is crazy. See how he played you in the end.

Hiya, I'm VB, and you are?

Posted by Striking
Cancerlovestaurus: Why would you come on the Taurus board and asked for their advice. Most of the Taurus I know never admit to being wrong about anything. Its always the other persons fault whatever went down. Thats cause they are to stubborn to admit. I read your post and really feel like there is some parts being left out here for me to make a clear decision on whats what. I will just say this never chase a man down like that, Now if you want to express how you feel about him and that you have some remorse as to what part you played in the confusion ok. But all that other stuff is crazy. See how he played you in the end.

LMBO!!! So true. When I read that I was wrong for moving on to another man after I sat there and begged him to let's talk it out and that he will never forgive me for that, I knew I was in a room full of Taurus thinkers. I just wanted to know how he was thinking. I agree with you 100% . Like I said. I don't have the patience for the BULL. What sign are you?

You will need the patience of Mother Teresa to deal with a Taurus man. One that unevolved that is. Most of the one's I know are head cases. Girl just move on with your life. Go find you a Pisces or something or another water sign. You can be patient for one of these men but by the time you get him you will be so damn crazy you wont even be able to enjoy the relationship. Youd be too Kookoo from the past. AND NEVER BEG a man to be with you..and dont try and call his bluff you walking away do it and don't look back. You too may have some lessons to learn as well.

You are telling me nothing but the truth. I have a date on Friday with a Scorp. On to the next one and not going back.

Good for you and in the mean time in between time work on your self-esteem..Scorp men are great for Cancer's but you gotta be tuff, say what you mean and mean what you say with them, cause they will try you..Hope it all works out well for you.

P.S A bit of advice going into the future. Men only respond to 3 things. Pain, Consequences and rewards!! Think about it..

Posted by Striking
Good for you and in the mean time in between time work on your self-esteem..Scorp men are great for Cancer's but you gotta be tuff, say what you mean and mean what you say with them, cause they will try you..Hope it all works out well for you.

P.S A bit of advice going into the future. Men only respond to 3 things. Pain, Consequences and rewards!! Think about it..

Well i must say that not all men like tuff women....Some men like their women soft and femenine😉

True not all men like Tuff women, but in the event this new one does. She needs to be ready!! That was my point!!!

And I did not mean Tuff Physically I Meant Tuff in what she will and wont except..I like the iron fist in the velvet glove theory..

Other than the one on your head? C'mon..which magazine was it...Marie Claire, Cosmo..some self help book or other? Still didn't introduce yourself Striking. If there's a resident wunderkind on the boards, a relationship advice giving goddess I'm all ears. Eyes would be more apropo however, since I'm reading.