Scorpio Female Wondering WTH? (Novel)

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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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New here and sorry for the novel. I have been lurking these boards for some time trying to gain some insight as to what might be happening with this Taurus Male co-worker. Any feedback is most welcome and appreciated. I??ve know this TM for six years. We hardly spoke to each other for the first four years. There was something about him that always made me feel unnerved and uncomfortable (not in a good way) and so I mostly avoided him. Then two years ago I got assigned to a two week trip alone with him. I was married all that time (currently separated and waiting for divorce to be final) and he was and is still in a long term relationship with his fianc? (engaged for the past six years but they never tied the knot). I am 38, he is 45.

First and foremost, I am not a cheater and nothing inappropriate has transpired on either side — there is no clandestine relationship. However, after reading many of these posts I am starting to wonder if I am not being tested. So here is what has been happening. TM is very private, does not speak about his personal life, does not know me from Adam. However, during the trip he opened up about his family, how his GF broke his trust a few years back, his past relationships, his relationship with his mother, etc. He was asking my opinions on various things and it was basically a huge out pouring of information from someone I had barely spoken to. Although I was surprised, I gave heart felt advice like I would to anyone. I didn't think much of it at the time and assumed he was sharing cause we were stuck together. I found out later he doesn't hang out with or share his life with anyone at work — even on trips he keeps to himself - so this made me go hmmm.

Over the next six months we didn't say much to each other, things went back to usual although we would always be polite and/or smile when our paths crossed. We were assigned to another trip for three weeks with quite a few more people going so we weren't alone. During the second trip we spent time every evening after work for about an hour in the pool together talking (again, nothing inappropriate — just chatting it up). About a week and half into the trip he asked if I could do him a favor and shave the back of his neck (?!) I should mention that I was the only female in the group. Although surprised, I teased him about why he didn't want to ask one of the other —guys?? to help him out with that and mentioned various lightning bo
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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lightning bolt designs, etc. Basically, I joked to hide my shock at the request and then tried to convince myself it was an innocent request. Fortunately, he never followed through. During this trip he loaned me a jacket cause he saw I was cold in the air-conditioning and when I tried to give it back he looked so sincerely in my eyes and asked —are you sure you don't need it—.

Upon returning from this trip is when I really start to notice some things. Every time he walked by me he made eye contact. I don't mean casual eye contact. If I was speaking to someone else in the hallway and he walked by he would search my face until I met his gaze — it really felt like he was demanding that I look at him. He started showing up in the break area — in 5 years he never went there — suddenly we are having daily conversations. He is showing me pictures of his granddaughter — he doesn't show these to anyone else. He is asking me about subjects he knows are important to me. He is always careful not to show any of this in front of others. Also, he acts shy and nervous, blushes, paces and can't sit still and sometimes appears to run the other way when I'm walking down the hall. The next minute he is smoldering, aggressive and looking at me like he is the tiger and I'm the gazelle. It is rather confusing and very intense. At one point over the summer I was talking to someone and happened to catch him staring at me so intently with such a look of longing on his face that I felt my heart drop into my stomach. The chemistry is off the charts. Like no other. My Scorpio obsession knows no bounds. No one has ever triggered my flight/fight response like this.
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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So then it all suddenly stops. Weeks go by and we don't speak. I get the feeling he is avoiding me. I am curious what's up but I have my own troubles trying to fix my marriage, etc. Again, just because you have chemistry with someone doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. I ended up separating from my husband and filing for divorce. A couple months ago, I ran into TM and it comes up in the conversation that I'm in the process of getting a divorce. We talk for a few mins and as I turned to leave, he stops me and asks if I would do him a favor. He asked if he is ever in a bind (my Scorpio imagination would like to see him bound to my headboard) would I mind dog sitting at his house because his GF doesn't like putting their dogs in a kennel. Again, I am surprised but say —sure, just let me know a little in advance??. He asks, —Are you sure? You wouldn't feel uncomfortable or anything— I just said yes, why is he asking if I will be uncomfortable? I also suspect he will never actually ask me, he just wants to see what I will say. I have no idea. It is so weird — he doesn't ask people to do him favors. Let alone me, we barely speak!?

Other stuff:
-He told me once that blue is my color and looks smug and satisfied with himself every time I wear that color like I'm doing it just for him.
-He came and said bye to me before he left on Thursday for another trip. We. Don't. Talk. Now suddenly he is checking in to say bye?
-He asked my advice on a legal problem his GF was having (it had to do with her breaking his trust) and pointedly mentioned that —it isn't his problem, he isn't married?? — What? But you ARE engaged to be married for the past six years.
-He asks questions about my husband, (i.e., does he chew tobacco, do we work well together, etc.) uh..why do you care?
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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I am more than a little curious about him. The most intense thing for me is the eye contact and the physical awareness of this person on a cellular level. He could be across the room not even looking my direction and it feels like we are shouting at each other. I don't cheat, I don't participate in helping guys cheat on their GF??s, and he knows this about me through conversations we've had. Maybe he is testing the water while trying to stay on the appropriate side? He is either so subtle or I am so over analytical. I can't tell. What is this bull trying to do? I feel like my head is getting messed with. Feedback? Should I talk to him about it? And thank you so much if you made it this far.
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kashieka
@kashieka
12 YearsGemini

Comments: 3 · Posts: 57 · Topics: 4
I have a Taurus dad...All I know is even if my dad does weird things behind my mother's back (she always seems to know) he still sticks around...He might just be looking for someone to cry on...Taurus men aren't the type to ask about others unless they serve them well their mostly pacifist and I think you should observe their actions more than their words because their earthy people and it people say more with action than words. ^^

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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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Soultalk, I guess that was my question in regards to the testing. I think he wanted to see if I would get upset - if I would be "uncomfortable". Also, letting me know about the legal problem gave him an opportunity to bring up the fact that she broke his trust and that he "wasn't married". Yes he has a GF. But some of the things I've read here suggest that a Taurus will hang out comfortably with the wrong one who has broken trust until the right one comes along. I'm not sure what he is doing. For years we had no contact and suddenly I seem to be getting a lot of subtle attention. Or I am over analyzing...
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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hexum - he obviously is into you, and you know it. The eye contact and that much attention from a Taurus? Its going to be a tough situation to get out of. Its very common for Taurus/Scorpio, seeing that we're opposites in the zodiac. Here's my experience with a Scorpio woman at work, which is still ongoing:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/what-taurus-male-thinks-of-scorpio-females-3750536/
I'm also with someone, and yes, it is all about the eye contact. Once our eyes meet, all the feelings come flooding back and its insanely intense, like nothing else I've ever felt. IMO, you two are literally being drawn together by a force beyond your control. IMO, he's not testing you, he's inviting you into his life because of what he feels for you - playing with fire basically.

A Scorpio woman or Taurus man has this experience with the other, quite frequently on these boards - maybe once a month on average.
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fembot
@fembot
12 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 267 · Topics: 11
Yea I could see me throwing my SO into a conversation with a new interest just to gauge that persons level of interest in me.

But I only have taur asc/moon and I can tell you that I will often engage in flirtatious friendships with men I could be interested in if I weren't in a relationship. No matter how much I might subtly flirt and test that person, I have absolutely no intention of leaving or cheating on my SO. Oddly enough the flirty banter actually makes me want my SO more. It takes a LOT to get me to even think about leaving my current relationship and once I'm considering leaving it for someone else, I'm not so subtle with that person.


"he was and is still in a long term relationship with his fianc? (engaged for the past six years but they never tied the knot)."

"He asked my advice on a legal problem his GF was having (it had to do with her breaking his trust) and pointedly mentioned that —it isn't his problem, he isn't married??

You could take these things 2 ways:

1. Red flags that point to his issues with commitment and disregard for his current GF OR
2. Confirmation that true to bull form, he's not leaving that GF any time soon
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OmagaIII
@OmagaIII
12 Years500+ Posts

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I think you are way to analytical.

He might actually have found someone to talk to. Sine he already lost trust in his GF he clearly doesn't talk to her about stuff that matter. Confiding in someone else isn't a bad thing is it?

We are much like you Scorps. We don't trust easily and can also be very over analytical about everything. I have been in that boat for a while now with a Scorp I care deeply about.

If it bothers you so much, blow him off. But he already sees right through you and already knows what makes you tick. He trusts you and really might just have thought that you are really a worth while woman to have around. No intentions as far as I can see out of your postings so far.

Has he ever been close by your side, maybe gently caressed your arm or guide you through a doorway with his hand on your lower back etc?

He is in a relationship, maybe not a perfect one, but I think he still respects it enough to not just mess around. Looking at someone with a smile when they where a color that suits them perfectly is not cheating or making a pass etc. It is appreciation.

Most don't see it that way, but that is really what we see. I am the type of guy that will tell you straight up, 'Wow you look so so beautiful in that dress, the color just makes you look so amazing and elegant'. My scorp just about passed out the first time I told her how a specific scent gave her this soft angelic elegance which compliments her absolute natural beauty and elegance. She blushed so profusely that to this day the beauty of her shy smile is burnt into my mind and I am sure I saw a little drop of her heart at the comment. But meant it, and she deserves to know how amazing she is.

Take it at face value. He might really like you, but more likely, he might actually really appreciate you. He knows you have deep though and deep feelings. He probably also knows you don't trust easily and would just like to be left to your own. But does it mean he should then just disappear? If so, tell him, if not, don't make something out of nothing.

And as mentioned, actions. Giving you a coat is nothing to go by. You would probably short circuit if he really tried to do something worthwhile for you. In 6 years this hasn't happened. Just relax. But if h bothers you rather tell him 😉
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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TaurusLovesScorpio, I read that entire post almost a month ago. You are very well written and express yourself amazingly well. But what if your SO broke trust in a most fundamental, you can't seem to get over it, kind of way?

fembot, thank you for the feedback. I have also thought about the points you bring up. He would certainly have to be single for me to consider acting on any feelings. I don't necessarily judge the commitment issues with the GF if she isn't the one. I committed to someone I shouldn't have and stayed longer than I should have. While not ideal, I don't think life always gives obvious black and white lines for ending relationships. RL is usually always messier. I think your second point is more than likely and he isn't leaving anytime soon. And that is ok. He has always behaved so reserved in the past so the sudden open discussions and heavy eye contact floored me.
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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Omagalll - Thank you, I am WAY too analytical. As you said, I'm sure he sees right through me just as I see him. I think you are right in that he is sincere in appreciating the kind of person I am. It doesn't really bother me — except in a I want a corvette and can't have one kind of way. I'm in no rush to be with anyone right now. On one hand I think I am reading too much into things. But on the other hand, TLS post makes me think those subtle things I'm noticing might have a much deeper well running beneath.
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by hexum
TaurusLovesScorpio, I read that entire post almost a month ago. You are very well written and express yourself amazingly well. But what if your SO broke trust in a most fundamental, you can't seem to get over it, kind of way?




It would have to be her cheating really, because anything less than that, given what I've been through, and I would be hypocritical not to give her a pass. If she cheated, I would end it. I'm very forgiving, and would actually forgive it, but I will never stay with another person who cheats ever again.
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fembot
@fembot
12 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 267 · Topics: 11
I agree @OP I think the 2nd point is more the case with your guy. He probably really does like/appreciate you but I think that's as far as it will go with him. Unless he & the GF break up for some unrelated reason.

Sometimes I just accept applications, but I'm not actually hiring...yet. It's nice to have potential applicants on file in case a position opens up in the future though... 😉
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by hexum
TaurusLovesScorpio, I read that entire post almost a month ago. You are very well written and express yourself amazingly well. But what if your SO broke trust in a most fundamental, you can't seem to get over it, kind of way?




It would have to be her cheating really, because anything less than that, given what I've been through, and I would be hypocritical not to give her a pass. If she cheated, I would end it. I'm very forgiving, and would actually forgive it, but I will never stay with another person who cheats ever again.
click to expand




She purchased a home and didn't tell him. This is right up there with cheating in my mind.
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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Posted by fembot
I agree @OP I think the 2nd point is more the case with your guy. He probably really does like/appreciate you but I think that's as far as it will go with him. Unless he & the GF break up for some unrelated reason.

Sometimes I just accept applications, but I'm not actually hiring...yet. It's nice to have potential applicants on file in case a position opens up in the future though... 😉



HA HA HA HA - I love this honest feedback! And they would HAVE to break up for unrelated reasons than me. I am just not that girl. I sure enjoyed that amazing chemistry for a second though. Darn if you Taurus guys don't make us want to break the rules 😉
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Well, I'm doing everything I can to ignore her every day (which she is trying to mirror), feeling horrible because I feel it hurts her and she feels led on and then dropped. But we both slip up every now and then and catch each other taking a peek. I feel she also is actually pissed and potentially going to sting me somehow (she did something to where I felt she was raising the stinger, threatening...lol). I just can tell very obviously from our interaction that she is a love/hate kinda person, and this is a love/hate kind of scenario. I feel if I don't give in ultimately, she's going to start thinking I played with her (which I never intended), and prefer that I hate her.

If I don't see her, it does fade a little bit like when I was out for a week recently. But its hard to tell what is happening because to be in her presence, with how we are ignoring, is also very painful. So while I feel sometimes like I'm relieved to not be in her presence, it may be because the pain isn't there not because I am actually ok - does that make sense? Its like emotionally deceptive because then I hear a song, have a dream, or think of something that starts the feelings all over.

I can tell you this. The main thing to avoid is eye contact if you are trying to get over this. I have literally tested every aspect of this interaction. I have a mirror on my monitor that I use to block her eyes every day. I can actually function ok if I do that and am not under the spell so much. If ever our eyes meet though, all of the euphoria and the obsession comes flooding back. She is a strategist like all of you scorps are. Firstly, she will walk with her head down some days to the ground (which is so unlike her bc she usually walks with her head so high like she is the most proud person in the world). She'll be looking down and have her hair in her face, and I will feel bad bc I think she's sad and I watch her (she may be trying to get me to feel bad). Just recently she did that while walking at me, so I looked, and then she POPPED UP from out of her own hair like it was an ambush....lol. Beaming right at me....Eye contact for like 2 seconds, and I couldn't even think about anything but her all night. I figure that if she feels what I feel through the eyes, she probably reasons that I feel it too, and she may be doing that to keep the connection going. She's Venus in Scorp so I feel she has really locked in on me and is not going to give up easily, all of which I secretly love of c
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by hexum
However, now that my engine is fired up, it is a physically painful and obsessive attraction. Night and day, he is never far from my mind - locked in is a good way to put it. I call it imprinting. I have been avoiding - it helps...barely lol.




I actually call it imprinting too...lol. I just don't like conceding that I've seen the Twilight series. Tidal waves - believe me, I know what you mean. With no exaggeration here at all, there was a time, that lasted about a month, where it was so bad (meaning good), that I HAD to start ignoring her and reduce the intensity of it (first time I did that) in order to just function in life. I was walking around in a stupor. I would pace in my house, or lay on my bed and it was like a dream state. I have a strong imagnination, but nothing even remotely close to this has ever happened. It was like being on heroine or some other REALLY strong opiate. The fantasies were so real that having them almost felt *more* real than being with a person. As crazy as it sounds, I actually felt I was experiencing some PART OF HER in those moments - like a part of her was actually present with me. I could sit down on my couch on a Saturday, turn on music (which amplified it majorly), and just stay for hours upon hours with her in my mind. It was INSAAAAAANE. I don't have the words and it is just something you could not relate to, and would not believe in, unless you've felt it. It was TOO good. I couldn't get ANYTHING DONE because there's nothing I would rather do than think about her. The most accurate description I can give is non-stop waves of euphoria washing over me.

IMO, it says alot that he is even discussing the house issue with you. That's a very private matter and he's kinda throwing her under the bus to even discuss that with another female.

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OmagaIII
@OmagaIII
12 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 10 · Posts: 629 · Topics: 15
Hmm, she compromised one of his key positions. Ok, now I get it. I would have felt the same. She is now a risk to him, with the possibility of being highly compromising to his future.

Anyway, he is stuck. But he still has to make the call. I really admire you, and my own Scorp interest, for being so clear cut about the do's and don'ts. Although in my scorps case she sometimes selectively blurs those lines :/

He is definitely juggling deeper feelings about his life and needs to vent it out. But here is the thing that I see. I would't show someone I really cared for my weaknesses for fear of exploit. I would also not easily confide in a random stranger. But I would still confide in a random stranger my deep sorrow, annoyances and discomfort before exposing it to someone I care for. No relation, I bury those thoughts and feelings with that person, ask for guidance and then move on with my life. It's a healing process for us. We see life differently in that regard.

Also, for him, there is an element of manliness (or lack thereof) tied to his situation. I think you actually have a broken man, not one that is out to get you stuck on him.

The rest you can probably deduce from my posting.
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by hexum
Oh and btw, what you said about seeing right through our strategies is very intimidating lol. I work very hard on keeping my agenda invisible. I still can't decide if it is the most sexy or scary thing to actually be seen...



Its so flattering to see another person strategize over you though - to be so focused on you throughout the day, etc. I know all her tricks...lol. I mean I'm sure there are a few I don't. All day long she is doing stuff. She sits in front of me and faces away from me, so has to turn to see me. I can see her from behind pretty much all day. So she will ALWAYS do a check to see if my head is up, as opposted to behind my monitor, before she comes to walk down the row to get a drink, go the br, or leave for lunch/home. She leans back, pretends to yawn, or will say something to someone, but she will look right over at me, and if she sees that I catch her, she whips her head back so fast...lol. She is lightning fast like a snake. She does this all day whenever she feels she is dressed up and looks really sexy (like today). She almost CANNOT walk down and past me without checking my eyes, on a day she is dressed up. She uses her cellphone as a prop. Texting/talking....looking down at it, walking all sexy to draw my eyes in, but right before she turns out of view, she looks right into my eyes to see if I'm looking. When there was more trust between us she would stare right into my eyes from beginning to end. It was insanely intense and 4 seconds felt like an hour. My heart would race. She drops things in front of me on low-cut shirt days...lol. When she wants two sessions of staring in a short period, she just "forgets" her jacket or phone at her desk, walks by me once and stares, goes back to get it, walks by again and stares. She throws things out at a garbage can at the end of her row (regular things like empty water bottles), when there is a huge garbage can right at her desk. She'll pause and do a pose with her hand on her hip, to take the last sip from the water bottle in a not-so-subtle suggestive manner, before tossing it. The key is, I can just read her body language and see how smart and deliberate she is. I know there is a purpose behind almost every movement.
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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TLS get outa my head! You are very good at explaining how it feels. My family keeps asking me what is wrong because I check out in the middle of a conversation to day dream about him. It does feel like he is with me. I know rationally I am acting like a nut job. But I don't WANT to do anything else but think about him. But then I would rather do ANYTHING else but think about him. You have the whole obsession nailed. I started avoiding last month when it began affecting my work/desire to be emotionally present with my children.

I agree about the house discussion. First of all, he doesn't discuss stuff like that - ever. That he did surprised me too and with me a female, also a surprise. That is why I thought it might be part of a test or something. Or to at least let me know there were some kind of issues. Or maybe because I'm not in his circle he just needed someone to vent to?

From what I know of him, he is very well respected, very reserved, very to himself. He does not gossip or flirt. His behavior towards me has been curious, respectful, and surprisingly open. For him to discuss anything other than work is a surprise. I chalked it up to being out of town and stuck with each other. I didn't realize he didn't socialize with other employees while out of town either. I guess that is where he has made it so obvious. He never acts this way so the fact that he is sticks out like a huge red flag. Whereas other guys behaving this way wouldn't even register on my radar.
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fembot
@fembot
12 Years

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@TLS I swear where were you (or better where was I) back in November when I was sabotaging my relationship with my bull. I wonder if all male bulls think like you? You write exactly how I think and that was always my fear with my bull. (that I was the only one feeling this deep all-consuming tsunami of emotions) Reading your words makes me consider that maybe I wasn't/am not alone in this feeling.

"I think you actually have a broken man"

I like and agree with this OmagaIII. I could see how his GF's action may have damaged his masculine self-image. It was a very emasculating move on her part. It would definitely put a crack in our foundation.
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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LOL at your description of her behavior. I'm guilty of doing a few of those things myself. I call them drive by's ha ha ha. Then I feel really embarrassed about doing it because I know that he knows what I'm doing. And most guys don't, but he does. So now I hide in my office and now he is finding reasons to come over here. Like saying bye the other day. That is hardly a big sign, but the fact that he never comes to my office - it might as well have been a billboard. I think he is used to being invisible himself and has the same feeling when he knows I can see right through him back. Honestly, that is part of the fun/excitement. No one has said a word but we have already communicated clear as day.
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by hexum
LOL at your description of her behavior. I'm guilty of doing a few of those things myself. I call them drive by's ha ha ha. Then I feel really embarrassed about doing it because I know that he knows what I'm doing. And most guys don't, but he does. So now I hide in my office and now he is finding reasons to come over here. Like saying bye the other day. That is hardly a big sign, but the fact that he never comes to my office - it might as well have been a billboard. I think he is used to being invisible himself and has the same feeling when he knows I can see right through him back. Honestly, that is part of the fun/excitement. No one has said a word but we have already communicated clear as day.



Hahahaha....I have called them drive-bys as well. The FUNNIEST is when we are both distrusting each other, the LENGTHS she will go to, to sneak a peek. And of course, I know its just the magnetism between us and not that she is really that desperate (she is GORGEOUS and very particular with men; everyone tries to flirt with her and they are like her puppets). When we are on bad terms, she will do what I call "hitching a ride". She'll be at her manager's cube talking, standing right in front of me so I can see her (doing her poses), and she refuses to look directly at me, BUT when someone will walk down the intersecting aisle, she will follow them with her eyes, in my direction, and then do a LIGHTNING FAST jump from them to me, when they are lined up closely to me, so I can't see the move (she thinks)...lol. She hitches a ride on them to see me. She uses people all the time in her attempts to see me, in alot of ways. I feel like I am the only one who notices.
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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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Posted by OmagaIII
Hmm, she compromised one of his key positions. Ok, now I get it. I would have felt the same. She is now a risk to him, with the possibility of being highly compromising to his future.

-EXACTLY - Which is why I think this might just be convenient until....all that stuff about the right one.

Anyway, he is stuck. But he still has to make the call. I really admire you, and my own Scorp interest, for being so clear cut about the do's and don'ts. Although in my scorps case she sometimes selectively blurs those lines :/

-EXACTLY - Yep, it is either all or nothing for me no matter what his intentions/our chemistry/etc.

He is definitely juggling deeper feelings about his life and needs to vent it out. But here is the thing that I see. I would't show someone I really cared for my weaknesses for fear of exploit. I would also not easily confide in a random stranger. But I would still confide in a random stranger my deep sorrow, annoyances and discomfort before exposing it to someone I care for. No relation, I bury those thoughts and feelings with that person, ask for guidance and then move on with my life. It's a healing process for us. We see life differently in that regard.

-I thought this as well. Good point. Maybe he just needs someone out of his circle to talk to.

Also, for him, there is an element of manliness (or lack thereof) tied to his situation. I think you actually have a broken man, not one that is out to get you stuck on him.

-Not sure what you mean by lack of manliness and him being broken - please elaborate.

The rest you can probably deduce from my posting.

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hexum
@hexum
11 Years

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by hexum
LOL at your description of her behavior. I'm guilty of doing a few of those things myself. I call them drive by's ha ha ha. Then I feel really embarrassed about doing it because I know that he knows what I'm doing. And most guys don't, but he does. So now I hide in my office and now he is finding reasons to come over here. Like saying bye the other day. That is hardly a big sign, but the fact that he never comes to my office - it might as well have been a billboard. I think he is used to being invisible himself and has the same feeling when he knows I can see right through him back. Honestly, that is part of the fun/excitement. No one has said a word but we have already communicated clear as day.



Hahahaha....I have called them drive-bys as well. The FUNNIEST is when we are both distrusting each other, the LENGTHS she will go to, to sneak a peek. And of course, I know its just the magnetism between us and not that she is really that desperate (she is GORGEOUS and very particular with men; everyone tries to flirt with her and they are like her puppets). When we are on bad terms, she will do what I call "hitching a ride". She'll be at her manager's cube talking, standing right in front of me so I can see her (doing her poses), and she refuses to look directly at me, BUT when someone will walk down the intersecting aisle, she will follow them with her eyes, in my direction, and then do a LIGHTNING FAST jump from them to me, when they are lined up closely to me, so I can't see the move (she thinks)...lol. She hitches a ride on them to see me. She uses people all the time in her attempts to see me, in alot of ways. I feel like I am the only one who notices.
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LOL I do ALL of this...OMG! - I AM STOPPING RIGHT NOW! lolol! I am not hurting for male attention either. Heck I'm going through a divorce right now and don't even WANT any. Guys always hit on and flirt with me and have stepped up their game since I've separated from my husband. I am not conceited or full of myself...but I don't have any problem attracting the opposite sex. But I'm only seeing one of them right now. Whenever I can sneak a peak...and now I am NOT going to do that anymore ha ha ha 😉
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Posted by hexum

LOL I do ALL of this...OMG! - I AM STOPPING RIGHT NOW! lolol! I am not hurting for male attention either. Heck I'm going through a divorce right now and don't even WANT any. Guys always hit on and flirt with me and have stepped up their game since I've separated from my husband. I am not conceited or full of myself...but I don't have any problem attracting the opposite sex. But I'm only seeing one of them right now. Whenever I can sneak a peak...and now I am NOT going to do that anymore ha ha ha 😉



Ok, I'm not telling you what else I know then...lol. It has something to do with the opposite signs - its like yin/yang - there's a little of him in you and vice versa. There's more than just bodylanguage going on also. I can feel so much. Just be appreciative that someone can know you so well...lol. You Scorps are so afraid to be found out, to have your real feelings exposed. But what you DON'T realize is that is the most powerful part of you. Did you hear what Omagall said? About the one time she smiled authentically and vulnerably? I had the SAME experience. I have felt all of her sexiness, all of her magnetism, etc., but there was this ONE time, I chose to stare her down (she usually wins the staring contests), and she looked away, then looked back and gave me a legitimate sweet authentic *vulnerable* smile - without all the sexy powers and ego/confidence. I could see how *kind* and sweet she was in that, and let me tell you it was the most powerful interaction by far. I fell so hard from it, and wanted to CRY...LOL. Tears welled up! I'm NOT a cryer!. Similarly, when I see all that she goes through for our eyes to meet? You may feel exposed or embarrassed, but that, to me, is how I know how much she cares. It is what hooked me.
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by hexum

LOL I do ALL of this...OMG! - I AM STOPPING RIGHT NOW! lolol! I am not hurting for male attention either. Heck I'm going through a divorce right now and don't even WANT any. Guys always hit on and flirt with me and have stepped up their game since I've separated from my husband. I am not conceited or full of myself...but I don't have any problem attracting the opposite sex. But I'm only seeing one of them right now. Whenever I can sneak a peak...and now I am NOT going to do that anymore ha ha ha 😉



Ok, I'm not telling you what else I know then...lol. It has something to do with the opposite signs - its like yin/yang - there's a little of him in you and vice versa. There's more than just bodylanguage going on also. I can feel so much. Just be appreciative that someone can know you so well...lol. You Scorps are so afraid to be found out, to have your real feelings exposed. But what you DON'T realize is that is the most powerful part of you. Did you hear what Omagall said? About the one time she smiled authentically and vulnerably? I had the SAME experience. I have felt all of her sexiness, all of her magnetism, etc., but there was this ONE time, I chose to stare her down (she usually wins the staring contests), and she looked away, then looked back and gave me a legitimate sweet authentic *vulnerable* smile - without all the sexy powers and ego/confidence. I could see how *kind* and sweet she was in that, and let me tell you it was the most powerful interaction by far. I fell so hard from it, and wanted to CRY...LOL. Tears welled up! I'm NOT a cryer!. Similarly, when I see all that she goes through for our eyes to meet? You may feel exposed or embarrassed, but that, to me, is how I know how much she cares. It is what hooked me.
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Don't start holding back on me now! I'm just starting to understand and feel better lol. I appreciate your openness and candor. Honestly, I really enjoy how you describe the experience from your end. Expressing this here has been very therapeutic. I know the way I'm behaving is ridiculous. PP mentioned the Scorpio do's and don'ts...

By nature (I truly am a canned/typical Scorpio) I am an easy flirt, very outgoing, and appear to be an extrovert. I flirt easily and innocently with married,
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The flirty outgoing me creates a social barrier where flirting makes people feel good so I don't have to absorb their negativity. Every interaction with TM is raw, there is no barrier. And yes, we both see that vulnerability, the part that sucks you in because you cannot help it. Yes, you smile for real because it is (emotionally speaking) like seeing someone in their underwear lol. Even in a meeting of 20 people it feels so raw and intimate I want to bolt and run. Nothing inappropriate has taken place but because of the nature of the do's and don't, and the sheer magnitude of the chemistry that truly buckles the knees I already feel guilt and shame. I torture myself over thoughts of not wanting to be disrespectful of his girlfriend or their relationship. So your advice to avoid eye contact at all costs is good here because I already feel bad every single time our eyes meet.
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Do you judge your Scorpio for chasing you even though she knows you are in a relationship? I think if she is like me, she doesn't have a choice. Based on your story I know she is younger so ignoring the impulse would be very hard. I've had tons of practice and I still find the overwhelming pendulum of emotion hard to rein in. Just curious if she is breaking her own rules by chasing...or avoiding lol mirror mirror on the wall
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Posted by hexum
Do you judge your Scorpio for chasing you even though she knows you are in a relationship?



When is your birthday? I'm wondering if you're in the Cancer decan of Scorp. They're a little more flirty/charming. That's her - Nov. 15th.

Anyway - judge her? LOL, I'm the one in a relationship. It would be pretty hypocritical to judge her. I know she doesn't feel good about it, has a conscience, etc. Even though my Sag used to work with us and reported that she gets mean-mugged ALOT by the Scorp, lol. The thing is this....These kind of feelings knock you on your arse. This is not the normal crush, or attraction, or ANYTHING even close. This is some cosmic tsunami of love that comes through and sweeps away everything, leaving you just standing there, surrounded by the debris of your life, like "Hit me again!! More!". I have all SORTS of rules, I am really the rare guy that tries NEVER to even look at another attractive woman when I'm with someone. I truly believe your eyes and mind need to be just as faithful as your body. I have had many opportunities to cheat, have had very attractive women try to force themselves on me, and I have (easily) resisted. I'm also fairly religious, conservative, and spirituality is like my main interest in life. All that said - this Taurus/Scorpio thing? Whoever designed it looks at all that, and chuckles. It doesn't seem to matter what your morals are, what you would normally do, etc. You feel something like this? All bets are off. I can control my BODY...But that's about it. I wonder sometimes, could I even physically control myself if with her? I'd like to think I can....

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The difference between us, I think, is that the Scorps (there are some exceptions with ones I've talked to) see it more maybe through a sexual lense. Like it is more of a really strong crush or physical attraction. I know that sex means more TO a Scorp than other signs, so maybe that doesn't denigrate the attraction to see it that way. But I do know that she is always working the sexual vibe and I don't think she realizes that that makes us both even more tense, nervous, etc. I think she thinks its the only way to attract me. She is NUTS! Seriously....She will strut the sexiest walk I have ever seen, parade her body in front of me, and give me a look of lust that no actress could mimic - SO CONFIDENT. Yet, when she's 3 feet away from me, she lets her hair fall into her face to hide it, and I can feel how nervous she is.

For me, it was never about sex. Sex is nothing compared to this. I could be content to just look int her eyes forever. That's how I justified keeping the connection for so long. It feels like such a deep bond, such a closeness to another soul - deeper than the family bond, or any lover I have ever known. I reasoned that even though it would not be something ok with my SO, I would risk it and become platonic friends with her, even hide it, because this bond is so strong it MUST be for a reason. But since she's always approaching me on that sexual wavelength, it shut me down; she brings out that part of me too, to where sometimes I really do feel the lust and its dangerous. And I think - who am I kidding? If we hung out alone, I would cheat.

Its just all really messed up, and I flip-flop back and forth from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. Today even was ridiculous...I can tell you that I've fought it with every bit of strength I have, and it still won't go away. I have learned to control it to a degree though, but it is definitely a type of denial and suppression, and even using anger sometimes. Sometimes I will try to make myself get jealous if I see her talking to another man, so I can *use* that anger to keep an emotional distance from her. I'm dying over here...I'll try anything...lol.
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I can control my BODY...But that's about it.



Actually this is false. I can't even control my body. Even at my strongest moment, where I have convinced myself I'm over it, I'm done, I'm disinterested now, etc. I will sit there at my desk and without even willing it I will steal a glance in her direction maybe even over 100 x's throughout the day. Like some sort of anxious, frantic, obsessed, paranoid maniac. Its sick....I'm considering that I possibly have Limerence:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
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Birthday is sent to you in Message. As far as flirty goes it is part of the outer shell. Truly I like very small groups and there are few people that are close/actual know me. If you are always happy, smiling and engaging then no one sees the storm brewing underneath. Although behaving this way is exhausting it disarms people. Better them feel positive coming from me (barrier) then to absorb whatever they are feeling (even more draining). Or worse, show how I am really feeling which only a chosen few get to see. And of course all you fine people on the internet lol 😉 But you don't REALLY know me so its ok ha ha ha.

As far as the "cosmic tsunami of love" that you describe (honestly you should write romance novels, I would real them, seriously lol) it makes me insane as well. As it is I've spent many hours on this here already today that could be used productively somewhere else. But it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one lol. So if there is something enlightening about my Bday would love to know it. I'm not well versed on the "specifics".
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hexum
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I can control my BODY...But that's about it.



Actually this is false. I can't even control my body. Even at my strongest moment, where I have convinced myself I'm over it, I'm done, I'm disinterested now, etc. I will sit there at my desk and without even willing it I will steal a glance in her direction maybe even over 100 x's throughout the day. Like some sort of anxious, frantic, obsessed, paranoid maniac. Its sick....I'm considering that I possibly have Limerence:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence<div class="bqfade">click to expand




LMAO - this is me, I can't control it. I am a grown woman, a professional, a mom, a very grounded person...WTF? Thank you for sharing your pain. I knew I had sunk to knew lows when it had been one of the slowest days of the year and he said "Boy they sure have you running around here a lot". First, I died, then, I ran away. I always swear that will be the last time and I can only go so long without a fix...there are other such moments I wish I could revise lol.
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yeah, that Limerence stuff is scary...lol. Feelings of telepathic connection, seeing signs and synchronicities are often reported. It goes away on average after 2 yrs though, so I'm gonna wait it out...hahahah. But, psychology only goes so far - could be just a way of classifying symptoms of what is a much larger and more metaphysically significant force (like really strong astrological aspects with another person, actual past-life connections, soulmates, or the "twin flame" craziness, etc.). I like to look at it from all angles. And really - you wouldn't even believe the coincidences I've experienced. Plus, look at all of the Taurus/Scorps having the same experience. That's what really got me. I scoured the web and I couldn't believe how similar all these experiences were. Look at how much of what I'm describing you can relate to. And people who aren't stuck in a dynamic like this mostly think it sounds crazy, or ridiculously exaggerated at best.
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Posted by hexum
I knew I had sunk to knew lows when it had been one of the slowest days of the year and he said "Boy they sure have you running around here a lot". First, I died, then, I ran away. I always swear that will be the last time and I can only go so long without a fix...there are other such moments I wish I could revise lol.



HAH-EFFING-HAH!!! I have KNOWN she is not getting ANYTHING done on some of those days. Out of her desk all day long doing drive-bys. And I loved every minute of it, and wasn't getting anything done myself, too busy being on alert for the next sighting.
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The Third Decan of Scorpio is also known as the Cancer Decante and the "Week of Charm."

The influence of the Moon (this Decan's secondary ruling Planet) lends these natives the ability to become exceptional nurturers and financial wizards. Generally speaking, a person governed by this Decante will enjoy a strong and lifelong bond with his or her mother...which is a good thing unless it results in an eventual lesser bond with the chosen mate. These individuals tend to be somewhat haughty by nature, but are fair-minded and blessed with remarkable energy. Still, they can be unyielding to the extreme. With a tendency to make sure they are right, those ruled by this Third Decan then decide that whatever they do must be on point. Subject in part to the caprices of the ever-changing Moon can create problems here. However, these natives are usually well-liked and harbor a fondness for pleasure and amusement. These are souls who desire to leave a legacy to loved ones and favorite causes. Money, privacy, loyalty and property are of supreme importance. A skilled keeper of secrets, these individuals will carry mysteries and resentments to their graves. Because they have remarkable memories and sensitive hearts, they will hang on to sorrow for an inordinate length of time. An aura of enchantment tends to surround those governed by this Decante. They are caring, abiding and more domesticated than other Scorpio natives. Canny, subtle and adaptable, to say nothing of being blessed with stunning powers of concentration, these are persons who can charm their way to wordly success...and into the heart of a chosen mate. The motto of the Third Decan of Scorpio is "Manifestation."
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And by that I mean - sometimes I feel like I am just being seduced by some malicious force in the Universe (of which I think there are many) that has it out for me, into making a really bad mistake and hurting a lot of people. That was my first impression of the whole situation. It felt like a setup. This is a girl I felt the magnetism with for years just occasionally walking by her in the hallway. It started at the gym actually. But when she sat on my row right in front of me? I had already been telling my closest friends "Man, there is this girl that makes my legs get stiff." The day she moved on my row?.....I was excited but also terrified. It was all too ironic. Then, to have her pursue ME? What are the odds that this girl who is more attractive to me than anyone person I have ever seen in my life, would feel the same thing for me? Personally, I think she is WAY out of my league. It just is all ridiculous and seems contrived.
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That is more in depth than anything I've read. Not that you don't have better things to do but I am going to message you his BDay as well. There is an obsessive dark side to this that isn't discussed but it describes me very well. Charming might be construed differently than flirty or sexual which I don't think I do. But who knows, I can't tell what vibe I'm giving off half the time since I'm a nervous wreck whenever he is around. I miss the days when I didn't notice him and it was easy.
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