I'm off to the gym. Thanks for flipping my obsessive switch on again though, Scorps...lol. I had a great day at the office of taking the bait once again, and breaking my vow to be "done". LOL, you are all working together; you just don't know it.
Scorpio Female Wondering WTH? (Novel) (Page 2)
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Posted by jeannegrey
Oh and, the Meme, made me laugh hysterically out loud. I am pretty my Taurus feels the way about me that you have said you feel for this girl. The truth is, the fact that you haven't given into her is probably a. extremely confusing and aggravating to her, and b. caused her attraction to you to skyrocket.
LOL, yes...I am definitely aware of a. and b. Been at this for a loooong time. Thing is, usually the female will cave and chase FULLY. Not her though. She knows she loses something in that....hahahahah.
Posted by hexumPosted by TaurusLovesScorpio
This is frightening on Scorp decan 3:
http://darkstarastrology.com/scorpio-decan-3/<BR>
Probably why I'm scared of her instinctively...lol.
Did this pertain to both of us or just your Scorp? Just trying to clarify...click to expand
Both of you since you are both third decan. I dont' know though; you tell me if its accurate. That site can get a little extreme. I'd really like your honest opinion though, because their description of 3rd decan Taurus (which I am) is dead on.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by hexum
I knew I had sunk to knew lows when it had been one of the slowest days of the year and he said "Boy they sure have you running around here a lot". First, I died, then, I ran away. I always swear that will be the last time and I can only go so long without a fix...there are other such moments I wish I could revise lol.
HAH-EFFING-HAH!!! I have KNOWN she is not getting ANYTHING done on some of those days. Out of her desk all day long doing drive-bys. And I loved every minute of it, and wasn't getting anything done myself, too busy being on alert for the next sighting.click to expand
Yes, lol, I know he knows as well. It is all too High School (shakes head in more shame)
Posted by hexum
That is more in depth than anything I've read. Not that you don't have better things to do but I am going to message you his BDay as well.
Ah, he's 3rd decan too, like me; that may be partly why we're having similar experiences as well. You/him/Me/her; all 3rd decan and we're exact opposites. And 3rd decan bulls are said to be the darker bulls also - can be very alluring, creative, but also prone to addiction and depression:
http://darkstarastrology.com/taurus-decan-3/<BR>
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by hexumPosted by TaurusLovesScorpio
This is frightening on Scorp decan 3:
http://darkstarastrology.com/scorpio-decan-3/<BR>
Probably why I'm scared of her instinctively...lol.
Did this pertain to both of us or just your Scorp? Just trying to clarify...
Both of you since you are both third decan. I dont' know though; you tell me if its accurate. That site can get a little extreme. I'd really like your honest opinion though, because their description of 3rd decan Taurus (which I am) is dead on.click to expand
I think they are both accurate the previous one and this one. So we are similar. What could she do to help you stop/get over it...assuming you want to stay with your SO.
Posted by jeannegrey
I don't know, is that what holds you back? I feeling that you might not be able to keep yourself in check? Your feelings? Your body? Your 'security'?
That's a definite factor. I wouldn't know how to be away from her. I do feel we'd consume each other.
And I don't know that I could REALLY trust her; she can have any man she wants and she really likes to charm them; I can see it. I have a gut feeling she would one day find it hard not to see a certain man as a conquest. She is gorgeous on a level I would usually not even go near. Hard to trust someone with that much power over men.
Also - the RISK of losing her. I feel EXACTLY like your bull. What IF I did something she found unforgivable? What IF she was bored with me? What IF it was too much drama and didn't work out? I would never want to have been that close to her, and then roam the earth knowing it will never be that good again. Sounds like hell - really....
Posted by hexum
I think they are both accurate the previous one and this one. So we are similar. What could she do to help you stop/get over it...assuming you want to stay with your SO.
The love? The attraction? Nothing. I can only isolate from it - never get over it. I will carry it around in my heart forever. I will die, my spirit will float through the tunnel, and pop out on the other end where the light is, and I will be like "Hi God...ok, where's the Scorpio girl?"...lol.
alright....gotta hit the gym.....getting late here...
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by hexum
That is more in depth than anything I've read. Not that you don't have better things to do but I am going to message you his BDay as well.
Ah, he's 3rd decan too, like me; that may be partly why we're having similar experiences as well. You/him/Me/her; all 3rd decan and we're exact opposites. And 3rd decan bulls are said to be the darker bulls also - can be very alluring, creative, but also prone to addiction and depression:
http://darkstarastrology.com/taurus-decan-3/<BR>click to expand
Dead on. This has been hugely informative. I will re-read and spend more time processing all this but it does make sense why the feelings are so similar. Thank you so much for taking the time to enlighten me...I appreciate it!
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by hexum
I think they are both accurate the previous one and this one. So we are similar. What could she do to help you stop/get over it...assuming you want to stay with your SO.
The love? The attraction? Nothing. I can only isolate from it - never get over it. I will carry it around in my heart forever. I will die, my spirit will float through the tunnel, and pop out on the other end where the light is, and I will be like "Hi God...ok, where's the Scorpio girl?"...lol.
alright....gotta hit the gym.....getting late here...click to expand
That is what I was afraid you would say... It leaves a bit of a scar doesn't it? 😉 Thank you, again, for sharing. You can't imagine the deposit you made in a strangers evening. Enjoy the gym!
Posted by jeannegrey
I wouldn't care of he got fat old and gray.
Ok, one last thing. Let me tell you - I would prefer for us to meet up in our later years, when we ARE old, fat, wrinkly and gray, rather than when she is young and sexy. That way I would not have that risk there. And I mean that really. I fantasize about sitting on the porch with her as the sun goes down, in our 80's, my rocking chair next to her's, drinking lemonade. lol, seriously. This thing is so far beyond looks; its sad she doesn't know that...She is very caught up in impressing me with her clothes, hair, body. As long as I can just look into her eyes....
Those eyes that really see us...I just love that part (sigh)...
aww TLS,,,,,
I'm in a 3rd Decan. Born Nov.20. that's scary. yes. I felt that way sometimes but need to conquer
them all. Yes I am a lurkers and the worst person you betrayed and yes I can forgive you but
leave you... Patience is my virtue.. waiting when I can pounce the betrayal you did.
It's just tooooo hard being a Scorpio. I kept saying this..
hexum,
Forget Him. Talk to the ex wife...investigate.
Forget Him. Talk to the ex wife...investigate.
Posted by jeannegrey
He makes me chase him and I hate it. I hate being that vulnerable, I HATE it. Its embarrassing, I don't know why it is, it just is.
You folks are so good at it though; you're predators. 🙂
Posted by jeannegrey
I just don't understand why he doesn't believe me that i only want him/only love him.
blockquote>
How successful is he? And are you moreso? Maybe there could be some insecurity about that.
Posted by hexum
That is what I was afraid you would say... It leaves a bit of a scar doesn't it? 😉 Thank you, again, for sharing. You can't imagine the deposit you made in a strangers evening. Enjoy the gym!
No problem at all. And yes it has scarred me, more than a bit. Its actually made me angry at life and really - God - in ways that I never have been. It seems utterly cruel to dangle a feeling like this in front of someone, when they can't have it. For *me*, even aside from the mystical heights the emotions took me to, the connection feels like all purpose and meaning is found within it - everything I aspire to be or do in life would be charged by it, it renewed me and I felt alive like I hadn't in years, felt inspired to work harder, to get back into my artwork, to be more assertive in life, to get into better shape - really every aspect of my life. I felt challenged but in a very good way. I had real JOY which I haven't felt in decades. I felt like I had a real reason to get up in the morning just to go into the office and be around this amazing person and this energy. And without the connection, it is like the plug is pulled on all that. I have to RELUCTANTLY admit, that I have been able to preserve some of that motivation BUT, I don't want some of it. I want all of what it seemed to promise. During that month of first euphoria, the place that she took me to, was simply heaven. And now I've not only had my wings clipped and come back down to earth, but I've descended into the underworld and paid for every ounce of euphoria I felt in the despair of knowing we can't see it through. And in the wake of it all? It has almost DESTROYED my connection with my SO; our connection flatlined, and I'm trying to revive it, with my daughter watching on the sidelines.
And you know what? If you read about the energy of Pluto? All of this is Pluto's nature. Its your effing ruling planet causing all this crap. LOL. You get with a bull and you experience Venus - indulging in good food and wine, enjoying sensual pleasures and beauty of all sorts, relaxing. But you Scorps bring this addictive/obsessive/intense/powerful god of the underworld in with you, and it fucks shit up. And you're used to it, kinda even like it, and are equippted to recover from it, EVEN STRONGER. You wonder why we're hesitant. Because we clearly see/feel the danger, and know we may not be able to handle it, but you will be ok. That's my theory anyway.
TLS,
Lmao. and you know what? Scorpio don't bother. Valiant Men will stand Scorpio Women.
Posted by M143
TLS,
Lmao. and you know what? Scorpio don't bother. Valiant Men will stand Scorpio Women.
Let me know his sign when you find him.
Tls,
He is just a Fellow Scorp... Men who can handle intensity with such vulnerability behind it...
Hey did you watch Rise of an Empire... love it.
My ex Taurus man used to watch kiddie movies. lmao.
Haven't seen it yet. Will have to check it out. You probably like that warrior-queen lady on a power trip, killing everyone. hahahahaha....
Posted by M143
Tls,
He is just a Fellow Scorp... .
Scorp/Scorp never seems to work. Now Scorp/Virgo I have seen work really well.
Alright, bedtime for me. G'night scorps.
Yes. I am warrior. my ex swing Taurus guy... he was really get nervous when I found out
he was talking a bi.. I talked less and Act more which threatens him more than he can deliver.
I saw how his eyes stared at me while pulling garbage as I whispered Hunny, don't throw garbage
at this past 11 in the night... let's sleep now... with my intense looks hiding fire within yet still
showing my vulnerability.. the more he can't bear what lies behind. lol. Those moment he finds me
very mysterious... I saw his post other site about me that trigger him...yet still he said...
I'm beautiful and mysterious. lol
aww. Bonne nuit TLS.
http://darkstarastrology.com/taurus-decan-3/<BR>
i think you guys should just leave your respective SOs. So unfair on them tbh.
I am separated and in the process of divorcing my SO. My soon to be ex SO is on woman #5 since we separated (gross). I won't even think about dating until my divorce is final (I did take my vows seriously - he did not). I don't think I've been unfair. I haven't done anything inappropriate or disrespectful. How I feel about TM is a problem that is beyond my control.
i think you guys should just leave your respective SOs. So unfair on them tbh.
I am separated and in the process of divorcing my SO. My soon to be ex SO is on woman #5 since we separated (gross). I won't even think about dating until my divorce is final (I did take my vows seriously - he did not). I don't think I've been unfair. I haven't done anything inappropriate or disrespectful. How I feel about TM is a problem that is beyond my control.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
The Third Decan of Scorpio is also known as the Cancer Decante and the "Week of Charm."
The influence of the Moon (this Decan's secondary ruling Planet) lends these natives the ability to become exceptional nurturers and financial wizards.
-I am the caretaker oldest daughter and have a background in accounting lol
Generally speaking, a person governed by this Decante will enjoy a strong and lifelong bond with his or her mother...which is a good thing unless it results in an eventual lesser bond with the chosen mate.
-Yep, mom and I are bffs
These individuals tend to be somewhat haughty by nature, but are fair-minded and blessed with remarkable energy. Still, they can be unyielding to the extreme. With a tendency to make sure they are right, those ruled by this Third Decan then decide that whatever they do must be on point. Subject in part to the caprices of the ever-changing Moon can create problems here.
-This is dead on. How many times have I heard "I don't know how you do it all". And the making sure you are right - i don't pick a fight unless I've already won it in my mind lol. I research all the time and make sure of all facts before cautiously proceeding. I am rational and will admit if someone else has a more correct answer but you better have darn good points or I will demolish you (fun huh? lol)
However, these natives are usually well-liked and harbor a fondness for pleasure and amusement. These are souls who desire to leave a legacy to loved ones and favorite causes. Money, privacy, loyalty and property are of supreme importance.
-Yes, I would elaborate more here but it would give to many specific personal details but this is also very accurate.
A skilled keeper of secrets, these individuals will carry mysteries and resentments to their graves. Because they have remarkable memories and sensitive hearts, they will hang on to sorrow for an inordinate length of time.
-Sensitive heart is such an understatement. It is like being an emotional thermometer when you walk around anywhere you can take the temperature of the room, the individuals, who's hot, who's cold. All this information comes blasting at you.
An aura of enchantment tends to surround those governed by this Decante. They are caring, abiding and more domesticated than other Scorpio natives. Canny, subtle and adaptable, to say nothing of being blessed
with stunning powers of concentration, these are persons who can charm their way to wordly success...and into the heart of a chosen mate. The motto of the Third Decan of Scorpio is "Manifestation."
-I agree with this too. Definitely domesticated vs. the club baby type. I like the use of the word charm vs. flirt. It is not about strutting around and swinging your hips (although I know younger women use all these obvious methods). More so the subtle lowering of your voice, tilt of the head, or softening of expression. I see it during presentations, especially if there is a person who isn't paying attention I will attempt to caress them with my voice. By the end they are the most involved participants. I can verbally describe opening a can of tuna fish and make it sound like an adventure. I don't know why or how but It is fun to watch the tone vs. the words take people over. Oh btw, this does not work on TM. If you try this you will probably get a disapproving look because he sees you coming a mile away lol. But according to TLS, he secretly loves that you spent the effort. Crazy!
-I agree with this too. Definitely domesticated vs. the club baby type. I like the use of the word charm vs. flirt. It is not about strutting around and swinging your hips (although I know younger women use all these obvious methods). More so the subtle lowering of your voice, tilt of the head, or softening of expression. I see it during presentations, especially if there is a person who isn't paying attention I will attempt to caress them with my voice. By the end they are the most involved participants. I can verbally describe opening a can of tuna fish and make it sound like an adventure. I don't know why or how but It is fun to watch the tone vs. the words take people over. Oh btw, this does not work on TM. If you try this you will probably get a disapproving look because he sees you coming a mile away lol. But according to TLS, he secretly loves that you spent the effort. Crazy!
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I don't give primacy to the feelings, because they can wane. The principal of loyalty for me is much stronger than whatever my changing emotions try to tell me. I just cannot ever abandon anyone that I love. The thought is always there that if I try very hard, maybe I can suppress the feelings enough for the Scorp, we will part ways eventually, I won't have to see her every day,
It also seems almost too good to be true. This is sad (brace yourself...lol) but look at all of us. How good are these Taurus/Scorpio relationships really working out?!
I agree with all of this especially your fierce loyalty. If loyalty were easy than it wouldn't be such a virtue. And feelings ARE transient even though they are very powerful in the moment. I would open field tackle TM if I just went on my feelings. But I also value my integrity and I cannot go out and buy more if anything happened. So go into the cave, avoid, and hope the storm passes.
It does seem to good to be true. I know the real TM is not the person I've built in my head. It is amazing how much someone you barely know can high jack your life. Just curious how long you have been going through this TLS?
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
For *me*, even aside from the mystical heights the emotions took me to, the connection feels like all purpose and meaning is found within it - everything I aspire to be or do in life would be charged by it, it renewed me and I felt alive like I hadn't in years, felt inspired to work harder, to get back into my artwork, to be more assertive in life, to get into better shape - really every aspect of my life. I felt challenged but in a very good way. I had real JOY which I haven't felt in decades. I felt like I had a real reason to get up in the morning just to go into the office and be around this amazing person and this energy. And without the connection, it is like the plug is pulled on all that. I have to RELUCTANTLY admit, that I have been able to preserve some of that motivation BUT, I don't want some of it. I want all of what it seemed to promise. During that month of first euphoria, the place that she took me to, was simply heaven. And now I've not only had my wings clipped and come back down to earth, but I've descended into the underworld and paid for every ounce of euphoria I felt in the despair of knowing we can't see it through. And in the wake of it all? It has almost DESTROYED my connection with my SO; our connection flatlined, and I'm trying to revive it, with my daughter watching on the sidelines.
I really feel for you here. Especially with your daughter. What you describe above about real joy, and feeling renewed - I have watched that happen to this TM. Prior to getting to know him, I needed some information that he is in charge of tracking. As I previously mentioned, I sort of had a natural aversion to him to begin with so I obtained the info through a different avenue. A couple weeks later he asked me why I didn't just ask him for the report. I said more honestly than I meant to (cause flirty sweet shit doesn't work here): You're so grumpy and anti-social all the time. Be a little more approachable and a person could feel COMFORTABLE (yes I emphasized here lol)coming up and asking you for the report. So apparently that got his attention. When he came in the next day it was like the light came on in his eyes. He was smiling at everyone, practically skipping down the hall. I was sitting in a co-worker's office (she has purple hair) when he stuck his head in beaming at us saying "GOOD MORNING LADIES"
(I am giggling as I type this) and to my co-worker "I really like your hair today!". It was SO out of character she looked at him like he was crazy. But I guess he took my suggestion at being less anti-social to heart lol. But more than that was like he was energized, full of life and possibilities. I found myself reliving that moment, that smile that life force. I don't want another man unless it feels like this. Even if this TM and I are not meant to be.
TLS - in regards to your relationship with your SO, I have paid very good money for a psychological library on intimacy and repairing it in relationships. I would be happy to send it to you as I don't have a need for it anymore. It would have been nice to see if it worked myself, however, my soon to be SO would rather cheat and spread his seed than participate. Let me know if you are interested. It will make me happy if it doesn't go to waste 🙂
Posted by IrresistableScorp
IMHO, Pisces/scorp connection sounds a lot like this thread with the deciding factor in favor that Pisces isn't afraid if intense emotions. They kind of feed off them which is probably why Pisces has the edge here. Having said that Taurus sticks around like cement which is highly attractive. Pisces is more fluid in that area. Taurus can be seen in the same field under the same tree everyday at the same time. With Pisces you never know which coral reef they'll be visiting on a given day.
I have come to think Pisces is the better fit for a Scorp too. They seem to have more of a positive/fun energy about them. Pisces are pretty amazing....Definitely can be a little too slick for their own good though...hahahah....
Posted by hexum
I like the use of the word charm vs. flirt. It is not about strutting around and swinging your hips (although I know younger women use all these obvious methods). More so the subtle lowering of your voice, tilt of the head, or softening of expression.
She is in her 20's and she *definitely* struts around and swings her hips for *me*...lol. I always laugh, because like an actual scorpion, she seems very aware that her tail is a deadly weapon. The walk she does in front of me is SO sexual and so seductive and flattering; she moves her hips in what is practically a figure 8. Sometimes I think she might be an invertebrate. Her walk is full of information - more like a dance that promises she can deliver in other areas...lol. Firstly, what makes me chuckle is that it is so obvious. The way she sets it up, then how she does it in slow motion so I can take as much of it in as possible - LOL! Any other time she walks really fast, but when she wants to use the hips on me, its suuuuuuper slow. Its even more obvious because NO ONE walks like Jessica Rabbit 24/7. She would be in the chiropractor getting adjusted weekly if she walked like that all the time. And I've seen her normal walk when she hasn't been aware; it is totally different. Everything you say about the voice is SO true with her. She tries to use it on me from a distance - making sure I can hear all of her soft and sexy tones. She is SUCH a charmer. It is cute, but I distrust that much charm because its a little deceptive, and it gives her so much power over others, exactly as you say. Her bosses at work are putty in her hands. That much power corrupts a little. I definitely see through it. I've catalogued all her different tones. If she tried that on me, I would tell her not to use her charms....lol.
Posted by hexum
I said more honestly than I meant to (cause flirty sweet shit doesn't work here): You're so grumpy and anti-social all the time. "
all very interesting as I'm very antisocial at the office and have changed that alot, all mirroring her behavior which I admire. I have even mirrored how she walks; she walks so tall and proud (even though she is tiny).
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by hexum
I said more honestly than I meant to (cause flirty sweet shit doesn't work here): You're so grumpy and anti-social all the time. "
all very interesting as I'm very antisocial at the office and have changed that alot, all mirroring her behavior which I admire. I have even mirrored how she walks; she walks so tall and proud (even though she is tiny).click to expand
Yes, but get him out of the office and this devious little boy comes out...lol
Posted by hexum
I know the real TM is not the person I've built in my head. It is amazing how much someone you barely know can high jack your life. Just curious how long you have been going through this TLS?
Yes, VERY easy to idealize the other person when the feelings are strong like this. It IS absolutely insane how my life has been taken over by this. I've been going through this since whenever I wrote that post "What Taurus man thinks of....". That's over a year now. But I first saw her 4 or 5 years ago at the gym, when I didn't even know she worked where I do. She was there with another guy. We locked eyes and both just stood and stared at each other. I felt like I knew her, and its hard to explain but I had a feeling like she belonged to me....like I felt a little angry that she wasn't mine. I could tell she was curious or moved or something bc she was so to herself, ignoring everything else, until our eyes locked. Later we ran into each other at the water fountain, both walking up to it at the same time. I tried to let her go first like a gentleman, but she backed way up and insisted that I go first, which I thought was weird. That's how it all started. Over the years I would see her maybe once every few mos. at work. Then that moved to once every month, once a week as she moved onto my floor, then every day as she moved to my row. The energy and staring intensifying all the while. She tried to charm me once early on with some smalltalk/flirtation, and I just chuckled and walked away, went back to my desk and fantasized about her all day like a child.
Interesting regarding your mirror comments as well. He certainly stepped up his game after I told him what I really thought.
Posted by hexum
TLS - in regards to your relationship with your SO, I have paid very good money for a psychological library on intimacy and repairing it in relationships. I would be happy to send it to you as I don't have a need for it anymore. It would have been nice to see if it worked myself, however, my soon to be SO would rather cheat and spread his seed than participate. Let me know if you are interested. It will make me happy if it doesn't go to waste 🙂
What sign is your SO?
I LOVE books, have a huge collection, including my SO's psychology texts which I hijacked. She has her masters in psych. I don't have too many books on repairing relationships though. I will pm you; that could be complicated...probably best to get the major titles and just buy them myself.
Posted by hexum
Yes, but get him out of the office and this devious little boy comes out...lol
very true...lol.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by hexum
TLS - in regards to your relationship with your SO, I have paid very good money for a psychological library on intimacy and repairing it in relationships. I would be happy to send it to you as I don't have a need for it anymore. It would have been nice to see if it worked myself, however, my soon to be SO would rather cheat and spread his seed than participate. Let me know if you are interested. It will make me happy if it doesn't go to waste 🙂
What sign is your SO?
I LOVE books, have a huge collection, including my SO's psychology texts which I hijacked. She has her masters in psych. I don't have too many books on repairing relationships though. I will pm you; that could be complicated...probably best to get the major titles and just buy them myself.click to expand
My SO is a Capricorn. Supposedly a wonderful match for Scorpio but not so much this time 😢 PM me, seriously, I only stalk love interests lol 😉
TLS - I LOVE psychology. How do you think your SO being studied in it helps/hinders your communication?
Unrelated and something I find hysterical after reading it several times: One cold and rainy day, TM and I happen to arrive at the same time in the parking lot. As we were walking into the office I said, "this weather really sucks!". And he said, "yeah, this is the kind of day when you want to cuddle up on the couch and watch tv" in that all male voice that makes women swoon. I didn't realize how fond you Taurus's were of your couches til I started my research lol. I suppose when a TM mentions cuddling/couch/tv in the same sentence he must be flirting right? 😉
Unrelated and something I find hysterical after reading it several times: One cold and rainy day, TM and I happen to arrive at the same time in the parking lot. As we were walking into the office I said, "this weather really sucks!". And he said, "yeah, this is the kind of day when you want to cuddle up on the couch and watch tv" in that all male voice that makes women swoon. I didn't realize how fond you Taurus's were of your couches til I started my research lol. I suppose when a TM mentions cuddling/couch/tv in the same sentence he must be flirting right? 😉
Posted by hexum
TLS - I LOVE psychology. How do you think your SO being studied in it helps/hinders your communication?
Unrelated and something I find hysterical after reading it several times: One cold and rainy day, TM and I happen to arrive at the same time in the parking lot. As we were walking into the office I said, "this weather really sucks!". And he said, "yeah, this is the kind of day when you want to cuddle up on the couch and watch tv" in that all male voice that makes women swoon. I didn't realize how fond you Taurus's were of your couches til I started my research lol. I suppose when a TM mentions cuddling/couch/tv in the same sentence he must be flirting right? 😉
Eh, honestly, I am more into psych than she is; that's why I absorbed her library without an objection. LOL. She is not very good at applying what she learns in her own life. I was big into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for a while, and my SO has anxiety and an abandonment schema. When she's triggered, she spirals out of control and she is notorious for the so-called cognitive distortions that they teach you in CBT books - blowing things out of proportion, focusing primarily on the negative, leaping to conclusions, etc. I actually encouraged her do exercises where she practices identifying the distortions, and learns which she is most prone to, so when she's triggered she doesn't go off the deep end. She rarely is able to identify them in the heat of it though, and I wind up having to gently point them out as we're speaking, or sometimes afterwards. We actually got to know each other discussing psychology. I thought she was just all about looks and shallow bc of how she dressed/acted at work, and I was really surprised/impressed when she told me she was a psych major. We discussed probably my favorite area - social psychology. That's really my main interest in psych - Martin Seligman, founder of so-called 'positive psychology' has been a huge influence on my thinking. I think _Learned Optimism_ is one of the most important books I've ever read. Research into optimism and its benefits, and gratitude as well, really interest me. I'm not really into the Freudian psychoanalytic stuff. Also have read a bit on "schemas"; Jeffrey E. Young's work here really interests me.
Posted by hexum
I didn't realize how fond you Taurus's were of your couches til I started my research lol. I suppose when a TM mentions cuddling/couch/tv in the same sentence he must be flirting right? 😉
Definite flirting IMO. LOL...and yes, the couch is where I ultimately want to be. My home is my favorite place on this earth, and my couch is my favorite place in my home. hahahahah....
A couch to a bull is like sex to a Scorp. LOL.
I also have issues with anxiety although I have learned enough tools to recognize and combat it without meds. In my SO's case he was "intimacy anorexic" which I know sounds ridiculous but has true merit. Basically, it is when a person withholds intimacy and affection the way an food anorexic withholds food. I never knew when I first met him as he was very affectionate and loving. But the last stint before I filed for divorce it had been six months of no sex. I'm surprised I let him live lol. But seriously, I never met a man that didn't want to have sex. I, of course, wanted to. The rejection experienced during this is indescribable, the blow to femininity, and basically total despair at not being desired by the person who has vowed to love you.
He is addicted to "new love" or the falling in love process. I want the meat - the deep, challenging, gritty stuff that holds people together in the long term. After we got married he turned into someone else. We tended to have conversations that didn't go deeper than a puddle. Basically, roommates who gave each other a high five on our way in/out the door.
Then I found out about the cheating and was done. I think I would be a very vindictive typical Scorpio if it were not for all I've learned in psychology. There are many times in the past months when I have consciously put the stinger away because in the end - it can be such over kill. Destroying him will not help my kids and so I trying a more peaceful existence.
I will send you the list of books. If you want any of them, again, I would be more than happy to drop them in the snail mail. Just let me know.
He is addicted to "new love" or the falling in love process. I want the meat - the deep, challenging, gritty stuff that holds people together in the long term. After we got married he turned into someone else. We tended to have conversations that didn't go deeper than a puddle. Basically, roommates who gave each other a high five on our way in/out the door.
Then I found out about the cheating and was done. I think I would be a very vindictive typical Scorpio if it were not for all I've learned in psychology. There are many times in the past months when I have consciously put the stinger away because in the end - it can be such over kill. Destroying him will not help my kids and so I trying a more peaceful existence.
I will send you the list of books. If you want any of them, again, I would be more than happy to drop them in the snail mail. Just let me know.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by hexum
I didn't realize how fond you Taurus's were of your couches til I started my research lol. I suppose when a TM mentions cuddling/couch/tv in the same sentence he must be flirting right? 😉
Definite flirting IMO. LOL...and yes, the couch is where I ultimately want to be. My home is my favorite place on this earth, and my couch is my favorite place in my home. hahahahah....click to expand
Do you have a tendency to show off your material resources when trying to impress? I don't mean like bragging - but dropping those subtle hints?
Posted by hexum
Do you have a tendency to show off your material resources when trying to impress? I don't mean like bragging - but dropping those subtle hints?
Definitely never brag about money. I feel men that do that are usually coming from a place of previously being really insecure about money, or are just too into money. I don't really drop hints like that to my knowledge. I like to dress nice, and I enjoy showing of my home, which I guess could be perceived in that way, but to me, that is more about showing off my sense of style than it is my resources (though I guess the latter fuels the former).
Interesting, it was six months of no sex that preceded my divorce as well. We both kind of starved each other out, because of how we had grown apart emotionally. She cheated though; I was nowhere near even thinking about that, even though marriage was torture a that point. I have done everything in my power to maintain a friendship with her though, mainly for my daughter's sake, and it has worked. We communicate really well. I pm'ed you....
This was more of a "come see my home" situation than bragging about money. I had to go by his home one time (and I never will again - that was scary!). But i got the feeling he was holding his breath the whole time showing me around. It seemed like what I though was more than a little important to him.
Thank you, again, for all your great feedback! Fortunately, TM is on a trip and I have a short reprieve before I have to deal with the situation directly. I will be back to update and continue to lurk. Good luck with your situation - sending you many positive vibes!
Thank you, again, for all your great feedback! Fortunately, TM is on a trip and I have a short reprieve before I have to deal with the situation directly. I will be back to update and continue to lurk. Good luck with your situation - sending you many positive vibes!
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