Taurus woman finding it hard to get close with anyone...

I'm getting married to a cancerian where he comes from a close-knit family. I come from an estranged family, and find it hard to have a mother daughter relationship despite all of my efforts in the past. I have now learned to live on my own and not emotionally depend on anyone. I go to my fiance's family events and within an hour I want to get out of there because I am so overwhelmed by all of the family members and their questions. I don't understand why I do this because ideally I would love to have a close-knit family but in reality I can't seem to do it.

Posted by cuppycake
I'm getting married to a cancerian where he comes from a close-knit family. I come from an estranged family, and find it hard to have a mother daughter relationship despite all of my efforts in the past. I have now learned to live on my own and not emotionally depend on anyone. I go to my fiance's family events and within an hour I want to get out of there because I am so overwhelmed by all of the family members and their questions. I don't understand why I do this because ideally I would love to have a close-knit family but in reality I can't seem to do it.

Okay, here's my thought. There are 365 days in a year (+1 when it's leap year). These so called "family events" are once in a blue moon (give or take LESS than 10 times a year); that normally last LESS than five hours (unless it's to a Superbowl party, reunion at a park where it's free; and not charged for only three hours like a pizza party for a kid; pack up and leave, etc). Uh, why cannot you be CIVIL for those hours w/his family? Cannot you put on your "family/game" face, smile, break bread with them, answer their questions, etc., and when you leave you can go back to your "I don't depend on anyone" attitude because you won't see them again until the next so called "family event?" (I am guessing Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, etc). Poor you.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by tiziani
Have you told them?

I haven't because I'm not close with in laws yet. My fiance knows how I feel but says don't worry you'll be fine.

Posted by Timon
What is your moon sign?

I had to look up what moon sign is... it's aquarius...

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by cuppycake
I'm getting married to a cancerian where he comes from a close-knit family. I come from an estranged family, and find it hard to have a mother daughter relationship despite all of my efforts in the past. I have now learned to live on my own and not emotionally depend on anyone. I go to my fiance's family events and within an hour I want to get out of there because I am so overwhelmed by all of the family members and their questions. I don't understand why I do this because ideally I would love to have a close-knit family but in reality I can't seem to do it.

Okay, here's my thought. There are 365 days in a year (+1 when it's leap year). These so called "family events" are once in a blue moon (give or take LESS than 10 times a year); that normally last LESS than five hours (unless it's to a Superbowl party, reunion at a park where it's free; and not charged for only three hours like a pizza party for a kid; pack up and leave, etc). Uh, why cannot you be CIVIL for those hours w/his family? Cannot you put on your "family/game" face, smile, break bread with them, answer their questions, etc., and when you leave you can go back to your "I don't depend on anyone" attitude because you won't see them again until the next so called "family event?" (I am guessing Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, etc). Poor you.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

click to expand

If only the events were once in a blue moon... He comes from a big family where there's events every month, it's just overwhelming. I'm just a lone wolf who has to transit into social butterfly - my mother in law's words to me.

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by Timon
What is your moon sign?

I had to look up what moon sign is... it's aquarius...

click to expand

Ah all makes sense now

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by cuppycake
I'm getting married to a cancerian where he comes from a close-knit family. I come from an estranged family, and find it hard to have a mother daughter relationship despite all of my efforts in the past. I have now learned to live on my own and not emotionally depend on anyone. I go to my fiance's family events and within an hour I want to get out of there because I am so overwhelmed by all of the family members and their questions. I don't understand why I do this because ideally I would love to have a close-knit family but in reality I can't seem to do it.

Okay, here's my thought. There are 365 days in a year (+1 when it's leap year). These so called "family events" are once in a blue moon (give or take LESS than 10 times a year); that normally last LESS than five hours (unless it's to a Superbowl party, reunion at a park where it's free; and not charged for only three hours like a pizza party for a kid; pack up and leave, etc). Uh, why cannot you be CIVIL for those hours w/his family? Cannot you put on your "family/game" face, smile, break bread with them, answer their questions, etc., and when you leave you can go back to your "I don't depend on anyone" attitude because you won't see them again until the next so called "family event?" (I am guessing Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, etc). Poor you.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

If only the events were once in a blue moon... He comes from a big family where there's events every month, it's just overwhelming. I'm just a lone wolf who has to transit into social butterfly - my mother in law's words to me.

click to expand

God forbid I said 10; okay it's 12; once a month. You still haven't answered the question as to "Cannot you be civil for 12 times a year?". Family = LOVE (HIS family; not yours, we know). Betcha when something will happen to you "they" will drop everything and run to help you.

Taureans can be soooooooooooo stubborn!!!



My son is 11 (going on 21); he's also Taurus. I am teaching him at this early stages in his life not to be so stubborn!

Good luck.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by SmeWman

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by Timon
What is your moon sign?

I had to look up what moon sign is... it's aquarius...

Ah all makes sense now

click to expand

Oh really? It's like a lightbulb moment for you... care to elaborate please 🙂

Posted by tiziani

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by tiziani
Have you told them?

I haven't because I'm not close with in laws yet. My fiance knows how I feel but says don't worry you'll be fine.

I'd use my anxiety as an icebreaker.

an hour into the party, i feel nervous, i turn to Uncle Fred - "man I feel nervous, just me?"

maybe he can't relate, maybe he can. But that's your best bet imo.

I don't really know how close-knit families work though.

click to expand

I have terrible anxiety but my fiance cannot relate, he's like a lion he's so fearless, I wish I was like that.

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by SmeWman

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by Timon
What is your moon sign?

I had to look up what moon sign is... it's aquarius...

Ah all makes sense now

Oh really? It's like a lightbulb moment for you... care to elaborate please 🙂

click to expand

I HAD to chime in since you haven't looked up your moon sign "Little one"

"Moon in Aquarius. Your Moon sign describes your emotional and instinctual energies. ... Aquarius is also a Fixed sign, which gives qualities of focus, perseverance and endurance. When an Aquarian Moon individual has a clear idea, they are unlikely to easily change it".

Gotta do some Army work now; I'm done here on this "topic".

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by cuppycake
I'm getting married to a cancerian where he comes from a close-knit family. I come from an estranged family, and find it hard to have a mother daughter relationship despite all of my efforts in the past. I have now learned to live on my own and not emotionally depend on anyone. I go to my fiance's family events and within an hour I want to get out of there because I am so overwhelmed by all of the family members and their questions. I don't understand why I do this because ideally I would love to have a close-knit family but in reality I can't seem to do it.

Okay, here's my thought. There are 365 days in a year (+1 when it's leap year). These so called "family events" are once in a blue moon (give or take LESS than 10 times a year); that normally last LESS than five hours (unless it's to a Superbowl party, reunion at a park where it's free; and not charged for only three hours like a pizza party for a kid; pack up and leave, etc). Uh, why cannot you be CIVIL for those hours w/his family? Cannot you put on your "family/game" face, smile, break bread with them, answer their questions, etc., and when you leave you can go back to your "I don't depend on anyone" attitude because you won't see them again until the next so called "family event?" (I am guessing Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, etc). Poor you.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

If only the events were once in a blue moon... He comes from a big family where there's events every month, it's just overwhelming. I'm just a lone wolf who has to transit into social butterfly - my mother in law's words to me.

God forbid I said 10; okay it's 12; once a month. You still haven't answered the question as to "Cannot you be civil for 12 times a year?". Family = LOVE (HIS family; not yours, we know). Betcha when something will happen to you "they" will drop everything and run to help you.

Taureans can be soooooooooooo stubborn!!!



My son is 11 (going on 21); he's also Taurus. I am teaching him at this early stages in his life not to be so stubborn!

Good luck.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

click to expand

I can be civil definitely, I just get really anxious. I love how they are all close and support each other, I have no idea what it's like to have your family drop everything to be there for you when something happens, I'm used to the opposite from my family. Believe me I hate that I'm stubborn.

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by SmeWman

Posted by cuppycake

Posted by Timon
What is your moon sign?

I had to look up what moon sign is... it's aquarius...

Ah all makes sense now

Oh really? It's like a lightbulb moment for you... care to elaborate please 🙂

I HAD to chime in since you haven't looked up your moon sign "Little one"

"Moon in Aquarius. Your Moon sign describes your emotional and instinctual energies. ... Aquarius is also a Fixed sign, which gives qualities of focus, perseverance and endurance. When an Aquarian Moon individual has a clear idea, they are unlikely to easily change it".

Gotta do some Army work now; I'm done here on this "topic".

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

click to expand

Oh lord, double trouble of stubborness... *going off to figure out how to calm this stubborness down*

I'm actually reading my birth chart thingy... it's really interesting...

Taurus sun, Scorpio Moon and pisces rising. Venus in Aries. Deep!

I surely do not see this as being "stubborn" at all and of course you are civil to the family members. Not everyone is a social butterfly. So I'm not sure why others can not sympathize or empathize with someone who is different.

I can relate with my Cap Moon about the anxiety of being the stranger in a close family. I've had to have a strong drink and just sit down with a smile on my face. I came from a very detached family as well - I too do not like all the questions because it puts one on the spot. There are just too many of them and not enough of me.

I try to stay upfront more and keep it light on the conversation side. If they are that nosy and/or it gets too personal, I just smile and excuse myself and go get another plate of food or go to the restroom or walk around.

I’m not a Taurus sun or an aqua moon but I understand where u are coming from .. I need to get away from any type of family function, group setting etc for a little bit .. I’ll go to the bathroom , walk into another room or outside to get a breather.. I start to feel claustrophobic lol

Posted by cuppycake
I'm getting married to a cancerian where he comes from a close-knit family. I come from an estranged family, and find it hard to have a mother daughter relationship despite all of my efforts in the past. I have now learned to live on my own and not emotionally depend on anyone. I go to my fiance's family events and within an hour I want to get out of there because I am so overwhelmed by all of the family members and their questions. I don't understand why I do this because ideally I would love to have a close-knit family but in reality I can't seem to do it.

We are very similar. I have a strained relationship with my mother and hate meeting the mothers of my partners... even if they are wonderful people. There's just something about that mother-daughter relationship that is so grating to me. I'm also distant from my other family members, but with my mom it's particularly difficult. I'm worried it's holding me back from having a good relationship with a man... I also find it really tough to forge bonds on a friendship level with other women... Oh and I'm an Aqua moon, Taurus sun...