TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts
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What is Love? - to the different Signs/Elements
I have a similar definition of love, but I added some to it
To me, yes, love is when you can finally put their needs not only on the same plain, but on a higher level than yours. Being in love is when you've found the ability to forgive over & over again.
To me, yes, love is when you can finally put their needs not only on the same plain, but on a higher level than yours. Being in love is when you've found the ability to forgive over & over again.
wow sounds like me (Gemini) on the Air sign :-)
but I think this is the true definition of Love. but everyone loves differently also and has different ways of expressing it.
but I think this is the true definition of Love. but everyone loves differently also and has different ways of expressing it.
@krysrenee7 that's awesome too. forgiving over and over.
So interesting, I just had this convo with the Taurus.
To me it was surrendering self for the greater good of the unit (two people together) or an individual, Self reflection, and friendship.
My Taurus said this:
Love to me is..
When I meet someone I subconsciously tell them, "Trust me." I want them to open up and trust me. Loving someone is saying, "I want to trust you. I'm ready to trust you. I'm opening up."
I thought that was really interesting.
To me it was surrendering self for the greater good of the unit (two people together) or an individual, Self reflection, and friendship.
My Taurus said this:
Love to me is..
When I meet someone I subconsciously tell them, "Trust me." I want them to open up and trust me. Loving someone is saying, "I want to trust you. I'm ready to trust you. I'm opening up."
I thought that was really interesting.
TLS,
Yes, Love is a self dying and selfless giving.
For water sign: Love is a connection to the very soul and to the heart.
But now I didn't use it anymore... lol. Love will flourish when you start seeing your man
he can give what you don't expect.
I think I began to transform myself into a more logic perspective approach than too emotional.
anonymous,
lol. My Taurus man says that to me "Trust me". lol. and I said.. Trust is not my first.
To trust a man is doom...
I just think some practicality has to come into play when you are talking about love.
For instance, when you say you will continually forgive, put someone's needs above your own, etc. There's a limit to that. Like, if the person becomes abusive, or takes advantage, then you have to set boundaries, and often withdraw affection, no?
Do any of you truly believe in loving unconditionally? It seems love, at least romantic love, is not at all unconditional. Maybe the love of a child is unconditional, but between lovers, there seems to be a *reasonable* demand that love is reciprocal to some degree, not a one-way street.
For instance, when you say you will continually forgive, put someone's needs above your own, etc. There's a limit to that. Like, if the person becomes abusive, or takes advantage, then you have to set boundaries, and often withdraw affection, no?
Do any of you truly believe in loving unconditionally? It seems love, at least romantic love, is not at all unconditional. Maybe the love of a child is unconditional, but between lovers, there seems to be a *reasonable* demand that love is reciprocal to some degree, not a one-way street.
Trust is a bit of a paradox....
because I think it is something you truly can't have, but that you also truly must have in order to be in love. Isn't there an aspect to trust to where you are sort of agreeing to give it, even though you know you are lying to yourself and no one is really all that trustworthy?
By this I mean, if you could be in your partner's head, examine their thoughts, truly explore the depths of their faithfulness and intentions, don't you think you would be turned off to a certain degree? Wouldn't the reality of their true self and thoughts probably put a damper on the love and trust you have for *them*? So isn't the act of trust sort of a mutual agreement to build this bridge of illusion or unrealistic ideal that must exist in order to have a relationship?
Isn't trust really a grace we give to people to enable love, and not something earned? Is anyone truly *worthy* of trust? We don't seem to treat trust like someone must be worthy of it; we seem to offer it (even if in a somewhat hesitant fashion) somewhat freely, on the grounds that we haven't seen anything *yet* to deem the other unworthy of trust, before they've had a chance to show themselves worthy. It seems more like we consider others "innocent until proven guilty". We hold out a *hope* that they will not abuse our trust.
because I think it is something you truly can't have, but that you also truly must have in order to be in love. Isn't there an aspect to trust to where you are sort of agreeing to give it, even though you know you are lying to yourself and no one is really all that trustworthy?
By this I mean, if you could be in your partner's head, examine their thoughts, truly explore the depths of their faithfulness and intentions, don't you think you would be turned off to a certain degree? Wouldn't the reality of their true self and thoughts probably put a damper on the love and trust you have for *them*? So isn't the act of trust sort of a mutual agreement to build this bridge of illusion or unrealistic ideal that must exist in order to have a relationship?
Isn't trust really a grace we give to people to enable love, and not something earned? Is anyone truly *worthy* of trust? We don't seem to treat trust like someone must be worthy of it; we seem to offer it (even if in a somewhat hesitant fashion) somewhat freely, on the grounds that we haven't seen anything *yet* to deem the other unworthy of trust, before they've had a chance to show themselves worthy. It seems more like we consider others "innocent until proven guilty". We hold out a *hope* that they will not abuse our trust.
I'm not very fond of the idea of love being self-sacrifice. Sometime simple is best. If I love someone, that means I care deeply for them. I believe love is being able to find that EXACT right amount of care, sacrifices, passion and happiness you share with and for someone. That is why the minute the feeling stop being mutual...I don't think it's love anymore.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I just think some practicality has to come into play when you are talking about love.
For instance, when you say you will continually forgive, put someone's needs above your own, etc. There's a limit to that. Like, if the person becomes abusive, or takes advantage, then you have to set boundaries, and often withdraw affection, no?
Do any of you truly believe in loving unconditionally? It seems love, at least romantic love, is not at all unconditional. Maybe the love of a child is unconditional, but between lovers, there seems to be a *reasonable* demand that love is reciprocal to some degree, not a one-way street.
I agree. Most love isn't unconditional. But love is still love, whether it's conditional or not. It doesn't stop being love just b/c it's conditional. Now had the question been about unconditional love, I think the responses would've been different.
Love is/can still be fulfilling even if it's not unconditional. You may love your parents & children unconditionally, but not your friends or your partner. But nonetheless, if "love" is still somewhere in there lol that's all that matters.
Some people never even strive for unconditional love b/c they don't believe it's possible. Like you said, there's a limit to it b/c without limits/boundaries, the human in people would run all over you & take you for granted! That's why we are a world with rules, limits, boundaries, etc. We need them or else we'll run amuck! lol I believe the same still applies to love.
If my child threw a tantrum, hit me, stole from me, etc. yep I'd still love them unconditionally, meaning that nothing they say/do would keep me from wanting to be a part of their life!
Now if a man hit me, stole from me, cheated on me, & put me through a bunch of immature hell....that's a different story! I'd absolutely leave his ass & wouldn't feel bad about it either.
That's why love needs boundaries. We wish there weren't but it's human nature to make mistakes, to intentionally or unintentionally hurt others at some point & to cause disappointment. If you're always striving for unconditional love from every single person who loves you, you'll be disappointed a lot b/c some people just don't possess that ability...not even with their own children sometimes.
I'd rather have a love with boundaries b/c it keeps you in your place & in check. I don't ever wanna get to a point where I start thinking that I'd still have the privilege of being in someone's life/circle no matter what I do. I like knowing that I must be a good person in order to keep my marriage. It gives me an incentive to remain a good partner/person.
Now if a man hit me, stole from me, cheated on me, & put me through a bunch of immature hell....that's a different story! I'd absolutely leave his ass & wouldn't feel bad about it either.
That's why love needs boundaries. We wish there weren't but it's human nature to make mistakes, to intentionally or unintentionally hurt others at some point & to cause disappointment. If you're always striving for unconditional love from every single person who loves you, you'll be disappointed a lot b/c some people just don't possess that ability...not even with their own children sometimes.
I'd rather have a love with boundaries b/c it keeps you in your place & in check. I don't ever wanna get to a point where I start thinking that I'd still have the privilege of being in someone's life/circle no matter what I do. I like knowing that I must be a good person in order to keep my marriage. It gives me an incentive to remain a good partner/person.
krysrenee7: Now if a man hit me, stole from me, cheated on me, & put me through a bunch of immature hell....that's a different story! I'd absolutely leave his ass & wouldn't feel bad about it either.
>>>Everyone seems to extoll unconditional love as a virtue. It seems to be with children, but when we see this kind of love towards a partner, in spite of abusive behavior, we see it as a very unhealthy sort of weakness.
Perhaps proponents of unconditional love would say that to love an abusive person, doesn't require that you continue to be with them romantically, you can love them from a distance, setting boundaries is a type of "tough love", etc. They'd have to do a bit of tweaking here. The problem with unrestrained unconditional love in the sense of romantic love, is that it can actually be very harmful. You can enable a person who needs to change - and as all of the Codependency research has shown - this doesn't really turn out to be the best/most loving thing to do. It may be what the person wants, but it is not what is best for them, or for you.
I agree with what you say on boundaries keeping you in check. I need that, and I think most people do.
>>>Everyone seems to extoll unconditional love as a virtue. It seems to be with children, but when we see this kind of love towards a partner, in spite of abusive behavior, we see it as a very unhealthy sort of weakness.
Perhaps proponents of unconditional love would say that to love an abusive person, doesn't require that you continue to be with them romantically, you can love them from a distance, setting boundaries is a type of "tough love", etc. They'd have to do a bit of tweaking here. The problem with unrestrained unconditional love in the sense of romantic love, is that it can actually be very harmful. You can enable a person who needs to change - and as all of the Codependency research has shown - this doesn't really turn out to be the best/most loving thing to do. It may be what the person wants, but it is not what is best for them, or for you.
I agree with what you say on boundaries keeping you in check. I need that, and I think most people do.
I fairly recently provided my thoughts to someone in a letter, this is what I had to say about 'Love':
"Love doesn't waste its time on controlling another, on making demands, nor not bending. Love makes way for concessions and compromise. Love is built on mutual trust, consideration, compassion and respect. It is found in a true friend, a companion, someone to support you come what may. Love feeds the person receiving it and grows the person giving it. It allows us to be vulnerable, yet safe all at the same time. It glows! It acts as a beacon, a light that shines. It provides comfort, provides peace, a calm in the storms that sometimes rage in life. When all seems dark, it is that light that provides serenity, stability and a knowing that in the midst of all you will be carried. It shines brightest when you believe in one another. At the core, love never fails"
"Love doesn't waste its time on controlling another, on making demands, nor not bending. Love makes way for concessions and compromise. Love is built on mutual trust, consideration, compassion and respect. It is found in a true friend, a companion, someone to support you come what may. Love feeds the person receiving it and grows the person giving it. It allows us to be vulnerable, yet safe all at the same time. It glows! It acts as a beacon, a light that shines. It provides comfort, provides peace, a calm in the storms that sometimes rage in life. When all seems dark, it is that light that provides serenity, stability and a knowing that in the midst of all you will be carried. It shines brightest when you believe in one another. At the core, love never fails"
True. just love freely and don't over think the rest...
I still try to figure this out on the daily.
My personal danger is getting caught up in the idea and potential probably more than the reality. Ill have an vision of what we could be, and focus more on that instead of what we are, and thats where i get stuck trying to figure if its real and why, and then feel guilt...and I believe thats where there can sometimes be confusion on the other end.
But, imo love is complete acceptance, even acceptance in no longer wanting to be together if theres a time where it comes to that point. I see now that I dont believe in denying someone I love of their wants, needs or desires. While I believe in loyalty, I think love is also willing to set a person free. I dont think love is "possession" and imo the more there is the desire to control or posses, the less there is love...moreso power and dependancy on you to feed that persons need for power.
In my future I want happiness for myself and the one I love, and in order to get there I think we'll have to accept eachother completely, our individuality, desires to be free and explore, and possibly the fact that one of us my even fall out of the love of being together. For the record i think im loyal so it most likely wont be me. As long as mutual respect is there so are my good feelings and understanding of being human. I guess in the back of my mind my vision of love is tied to me possibly loosing it.
I dont believe its possession, secrecy, lies, disrespect, lack of trust, control, emotional unavailabilty, cheating etc.
My personal danger is getting caught up in the idea and potential probably more than the reality. Ill have an vision of what we could be, and focus more on that instead of what we are, and thats where i get stuck trying to figure if its real and why, and then feel guilt...and I believe thats where there can sometimes be confusion on the other end.
But, imo love is complete acceptance, even acceptance in no longer wanting to be together if theres a time where it comes to that point. I see now that I dont believe in denying someone I love of their wants, needs or desires. While I believe in loyalty, I think love is also willing to set a person free. I dont think love is "possession" and imo the more there is the desire to control or posses, the less there is love...moreso power and dependancy on you to feed that persons need for power.
In my future I want happiness for myself and the one I love, and in order to get there I think we'll have to accept eachother completely, our individuality, desires to be free and explore, and possibly the fact that one of us my even fall out of the love of being together. For the record i think im loyal so it most likely wont be me. As long as mutual respect is there so are my good feelings and understanding of being human. I guess in the back of my mind my vision of love is tied to me possibly loosing it.
I dont believe its possession, secrecy, lies, disrespect, lack of trust, control, emotional unavailabilty, cheating etc.
TLS -->I'd think Bulls maybe view love more in terms of loyalty and faithfulness + 1
krysrenee7 --> I'd rather have a love with boundaries b/c it keeps you in your place & in check. I don't ever wanna get to a point where I start thinking that I'd still have the privilege of being in someone's life/circle no matter what I do. I like knowing that I must be a good person in order to keep my marriage. It gives me an incentive to remain a good partner/person. +1
Lilldo --> Love doesn't waste its time on controlling another, on making demands, nor not bending. Love makes way for concessions and compromise. Love is built on mutual trust, consideration, compassion and respect. It is found in a true friend, a companion, someone to support you come what may. "" Love feeds the person receiving it and grows the person giving it. It allows us to be vulnerable, yet safe all at the same time. It glows!""+1000
Irresistible Scorpio --> The second it feels like a sacrifice is the second it becomes a burden. Love should never feel like a sacrifice ! AGREED + 1000
What i have discovered - > " I know I am in love when I think about that person when I wake and before I sleep. When he brings the " best" in me and makes me the happiest girl alive. Love grows when its a mutual act of " trust" " respect" " support" & " laughter" when I care for that person and want the " best" for them with or without me-
Love is given when he shown himself worthy of my " TRUST" and " Loyalty" ..I can also set that person" free" if he chooses to leave me one day. Love is never jealous- love is KIND
Love to me...is also a "Choice" - it grows when it is given to the " RIGHT" person ...and it also fades when given to the person that isn't worthy of it... and I as a taurus can TELL pretty fast - if that person is Right or Wrong for me.
krysrenee7 --> I'd rather have a love with boundaries b/c it keeps you in your place & in check. I don't ever wanna get to a point where I start thinking that I'd still have the privilege of being in someone's life/circle no matter what I do. I like knowing that I must be a good person in order to keep my marriage. It gives me an incentive to remain a good partner/person. +1
Lilldo --> Love doesn't waste its time on controlling another, on making demands, nor not bending. Love makes way for concessions and compromise. Love is built on mutual trust, consideration, compassion and respect. It is found in a true friend, a companion, someone to support you come what may. "" Love feeds the person receiving it and grows the person giving it. It allows us to be vulnerable, yet safe all at the same time. It glows!""+1000
Irresistible Scorpio --> The second it feels like a sacrifice is the second it becomes a burden. Love should never feel like a sacrifice ! AGREED + 1000
What i have discovered - > " I know I am in love when I think about that person when I wake and before I sleep. When he brings the " best" in me and makes me the happiest girl alive. Love grows when its a mutual act of " trust" " respect" " support" & " laughter" when I care for that person and want the " best" for them with or without me-
Love is given when he shown himself worthy of my " TRUST" and " Loyalty" ..I can also set that person" free" if he chooses to leave me one day. Love is never jealous- love is KIND
Love to me...is also a "Choice" - it grows when it is given to the " RIGHT" person ...and it also fades when given to the person that isn't worthy of it... and I as a taurus can TELL pretty fast - if that person is Right or Wrong for me.
Surely. Loyalty and faithfulness are important aspects for any relationship, and with us earth folks being creatures of the physical it's only natural that we might value loyalty and faithfulness on a more physical level than the rest. Emotional cheating? What's that? 😛
Posted by Theatrum
Surely. Loyalty and faithfulness are important aspects for any relationship, and with us earth folks being creatures of the physical it's only natural that we might value loyalty and faithfulness on a more physical level than the rest. Emotional cheating? What's that? 😛
emotionally cheating...is still cheating to me... when i'm with my man...he needs to be with me 100 % ..both mentally and physically..and me as a taurus..i can" sense" that... my gut instinct is always SPOT on.. >
I mean, that bible verse we all know pretty much sums it up best.
Posted by SunTauVenGemPosted by Theatrum
Surely. Loyalty and faithfulness are important aspects for any relationship, and with us earth folks being creatures of the physical it's only natural that we might value loyalty and faithfulness on a more physical level than the rest. Emotional cheating? What's that? 😛
emotionally cheating...is still cheating to me... when i'm with my man...he needs to be with me 100 % ..both mentally and physically..and me as a taurus..i can" sense" that... my gut instinct is always SPOT on..click to expand
Yeah I hear ya. Us Taureans ask for a lot of devotion from our partners but that's only because we give just as much.
Posted by FireyKittyPosted by lisabethur8
well after "learning" with my own failures in love in the past, a combination of emotion and some rationality helps. too much emotion can kill you. too much rationality can separate you from feeling.
Posted by lisabethur8Posted by FireyKittyPosted by lisabethur8
well after "learning" with my own failures in love in the past, a combination of emotion and some rationality helps. too much emotion can kill you. too much rationality can separate you from feeling.click to expand
Very true. I guess I just hate when the Taurus or cap men I date put TOO much thought into deciding what they want. Don't you just know?
I think self-sacrifice, specifically the ego/self, is an important aspect of love. Sure, it all freely flows when the magic is there, you're still in the infatuation phase, no one has been seriously hurt, trust is still intact, etc.
But in long-term relationships, you get into these spots where neither person wants to forgive - there are standoffs. You feel as though the other person *used* to be quicker to reconcile, and if you start catering to them more, you lose strength or respect in the relationship. Or you just feel so bitter and hurt by something they've said or done, it is PAINFUL to give in and make that move back towards them and reconciliation.
Its here that you will often have to sacrifice some of your ego and pride, and put that person before the wounded parts of your self that want to retreat to lick their wounds or merely leverage the strength of your ability to ice someone out and isolate - starving them of your affection.
But in long-term relationships, you get into these spots where neither person wants to forgive - there are standoffs. You feel as though the other person *used* to be quicker to reconcile, and if you start catering to them more, you lose strength or respect in the relationship. Or you just feel so bitter and hurt by something they've said or done, it is PAINFUL to give in and make that move back towards them and reconciliation.
Its here that you will often have to sacrifice some of your ego and pride, and put that person before the wounded parts of your self that want to retreat to lick their wounds or merely leverage the strength of your ability to ice someone out and isolate - starving them of your affection.
Posted by FireyKittyPosted by lisabethur8Posted by FireyKittyPosted by lisabethur8
well after "learning" with my own failures in love in the past, a combination of emotion and some rationality helps. too much emotion can kill you. too much rationality can separate you from feeling.
Very true. I guess I just hate when the Taurus or cap men I date put TOO much thought into deciding what they want. Don't you just know?click to expand
unfortunately we do know but we keep inside and analyse the rest.. Is It worth it.. Is he trust worthy.. Can I have long term serious relationship with this person... How is he like with others.. Will he treat me well .. So n so n so... If there more negatives than positives.. I can walk away and stop myself from loving that person... Or stop myself from falling for that person... it's a choice.. My bull chose to not be with me because of the long distance as it cost both of us more pain than good when we leave each other.. Totally understandable... It sucks but putting our emotions first don't work in the long run...
TLS ... I think that's when you forgive and forget.Unless its a betrayal or involves violence. . if its not possible to forgive then maybe you were never INLOve with him/her. or it was never love at all. ?
To me...
Love is connecting with someone on a passionate, intense level, raw, vulnerable, real, substantial, but allowing that fire to burn slowly, savoring the moments, revealing layers,
...until love is represented on a multifaceted level (ie, physical, intellectual and emotional compatibility)...
During this crossroad, love is governed by logic....
In this practical sense, the intensity is repetitious...and everlasting.
-Taurus Sun, Venus in Aries, Moon in Gemini...
Love is connecting with someone on a passionate, intense level, raw, vulnerable, real, substantial, but allowing that fire to burn slowly, savoring the moments, revealing layers,
...until love is represented on a multifaceted level (ie, physical, intellectual and emotional compatibility)...
During this crossroad, love is governed by logic....
In this practical sense, the intensity is repetitious...and everlasting.
-Taurus Sun, Venus in Aries, Moon in Gemini...
Posted by anonymousheart
My Taurus said this:
Love to me is..
When I meet someone I subconsciously tell them, "Trust me." I want them to open up and trust me. Loving someone is saying, "I want to trust you. I'm ready to trust you. I'm opening up."
BINGO!
Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by anonymousheart
My Taurus said this:
Love to me is..
When I meet someone I subconsciously tell them, "Trust me." I want them to open up and trust me. Loving someone is saying, "I want to trust you. I'm ready to trust you. I'm opening up."
BINGO!click to expand
my bull said this to me a few times..." trust me" I want you to trust me that I'm doing this for both of us." believe me I'm sad too"... Does that mean he does love me? ~ confused~ ...
SunTauGem-
Complete trust and breaking that Berlin Wall is the highest form of love.
Complete trust and breaking that Berlin Wall is the highest form of love.
Posted by TaurusBull1977
SunTauGem-
Complete trust and breaking that Berlin Wall is the highest form of love.
I do " trust" him.... I was with my virgo ex.... I did trust him ..but not fully.. my gut instinct always told me other wise... for some reason..~
it feels right n complete to " trust" this man. Trust that he's doing it for the best for both of us...Trust that he wants to be with me but with the circumstances it won't work right now...trust that...one day things will work out just the way its meant to be ~~~emotionally it is tough
...but I am getting better ~.~..
Love is define by how often "we" and "us" are used instead of "me, my, I and myself"
If 2 people really love each other, then there is no need to be selfish about anything. Especially whenever discussing things.
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"Love is not about some romantic feeling or ideal. Love is self-sacrifice. It is when you are willing to put someone else's needs above your own - to give of your self, to fulfill another."
I think this is a valid perspective.
This man was a Virgo, and I would think this is very much a Virgo (if not an earth sign) way of construing love, as self-sacrifice seems to be one of their strengths. I'd think Bulls maybe view love more in terms of loyalty and faithfulness (one of their strengths), but still less in terms of raw emotion, and something along more practical and rational lines. Same for Caps.
Water signs might view love more in terms of the emotional connection/feeling/chemistry that the Virgo denounced.
Air signs - maybe more along the lines of communication and bonding of the intellect?
Fire signs - maybe more about excitement and fun, drama, etc.?
Opinions?