Advice - am i being played?

I have been with my virgo guy 12 months. At the begining it was so intense from both sides, we both shared our feelings fairly early on and moved in together. He made me feel so loved and cared for always telling me, affectionate, small gestures, a day didn't go by were we didn't tell each other 'i love you', he even said he'd never felt this way before and would openly talk about our future. id say about 5mths living together we started to have a few ups and downs but we'd always make up cause they were petty things. One night we had a massive to do and overnight it was like he completley shut down. He felt it was best to move out, saying he wasn't happy and still loved me but felt this was the best decision for both of us. 3mths on he decides to tell me he was the way he was because he wasn't thinking of himself, he loves me but won't be that extreme again! He has become rather selfish, hardly wants to meet and if we do he's distant. Although he keeos telling me he's ok, there's nothing to worry about on the otherhand he just can't seem to show affection. I don't no if i'm being played, if he really does want me, why on earth say he loves me but make out it was my fault he came on strong, say he does love me but make no effort, then wonders why i have become insecure. I've even asked if he wants to call it a day, but always says no!

How old are you both? It sounds to me like he's in denial that it's over (he may not have consciously realised this though).

I myself have done something similar before. It was in my first relationship when I was 19. I'm not an expert on virgo guys though.

Were both old enough and both been in long term relationships to realise what love is. im 30 and he's 34. He always said to me 'i know my own feelings, i say what i mean and mean what i say'. i just don't know if i should give it alittle more time or because he did say the other day he does love me it's just all that's happened as made it all cloudy and wants us to remind each other why were together. its hard though when he cant see he doesn't do anything to help. He seems to think saying he loves me but not wanting to spend time together is enough, but how can you possibly build a relationship back up like that. im kindda thinking it would be best to just call it a day, even though i love him deeply

yeah it was a massive arguemsnt about everything petty all rolled into one, nothing in particular either just escalated

aqua - ive read that were not a grear match but my first boyfriend was virgo 8th sept and we were together 5 years and still friends my current virgo is 14th sept

I think you should give the space he needs to figure out what he wants. I once left my virgo friend alone after he told me that I should see other ppl that will treat me better than he would and I did. Now, he's telling me how he thinks I'm this great person and apologizing for leaving me in the dark.

I agree with Ameth, he got cold feet and unfortunately some men feel if there are a few tiffs it's jut not working and they make no attempts to fix it, figure it has to be fixed then it's broken which gives them the ability to walk away. I don't sense he's playing you, he seems to be quite honest, he feels love but he's not in love and he makes no effort b/c he's done, he isn't interested in talking and fixing things with you, the worst thing you can do is confront him with anger and frustration b/c it will only serve to make matters worse....A suggestion, do nothing, the least amount of pressure and frustration coming from you will pull him back in, open dialogue and can/will change the dynamics of the relationship to a more positive experience.

Let it be....It's over for now, it's temporary, if you make the right moves he will be back but if you stress him out, want to analyze and discuss it to death he will remain cold and distant....Get on with your life

You had a role to play in the cause of the seperation, though, you make yourself sound harmless .. a person only does things because they have a reason to do it.

Whether you agree with the reason or not, one certainly is present ... I would suggest that you peel away the excuses you have that are holding yourself at bay from acknowledging truth.


Something happened, and you make it sound like you are baffled as to why ..... perhaps it's that Aquarian disconnection, in itself, that is the problem ... he probably expected you to care enough to at least show him some kind of response to his upset, rather than one of you not knowing, which means you didn't care enough to pay attention.

Aquas chase more people away from them with that than anything else ... other people would actually like it if you showed you cared enough to have an emotional response, you know.

i am an emotional person and i know if i over step the mark and after our big to do i apologised whole heartdly and he did to. im very emotionally giving in relationships. if anything my virgo is being typical aqua. it takes two to have an argument therefore both to make up and move on. i've tried very hard when i'm with him to be the person i am and who he fell in love with but its hard when you find yourself dealing with a colder, harsher, unaffectionate clone of the person you love. he played an equal part in something detrimental to our relationship, difference is i didn't realise by how much until know, which maybe my downfall i suppose