Advice to heal my heart.

I've started to notice this trend...

and I don't know what to do. I'm a gemini women with a cancer rising and aquarius moon in love with my best friend virgo man cancer rising and aquarius moon.

I've known him for years, and we've always overlooked being together. I finally let my guard down, and now i'm lost. Out of no where he decides to leave. Days later, he comes back and he tells me he doesn't feel anything for me anymore. Its like he turned into a different person. He says that he is completely content with just sitting in front of a tv or computer playing video games and he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore.

I just want my best friend back. I decided to move out to give him space..because I thought thats what he needed. I thought that was the problem. That he just didn't want to be bothered while he played games. I remember him telling me that the reason he likes games is because he is so discontent with himself. He feels like he is something of value when he plays a character on a screen.

I'm so confused. He keeps himself shut off so firmly that I can't read him well enough to know what to do. Should I just leave him alone? Try to be supportive and hope that he comes back to me? He said it wasn't about me but I don't understand how he can just stop loving me. I know he loved me at least at one time. I could see it in his eyes and feel it when he touched me. Where did my friend go? Does any virgo man relate to this? Can anyone enlighten me as to what may be going on? Or even how I should be supportive.

I feel like if I back away too much then he'll just think I'm gone and make himself forget about me, but if i smother him then we'll never talk again.

I just miss being able to do things for him and with him. He was my best friend so long. I don't understand how he could just not care anymore. Please help if anyone can.

when i read"he likes playing video games because he is discontent with himself and feels a sense of value when hes a character in a game"..that scares me,im a virgo female and if i ever came to the point of saying THAT to someone and suddenly not caring about a best friend anymore..i think he's seriously depressed with his life in general.i cant think of any other reason because im not in your shoes.

if i were you,i'd still be there..give him space,but let him know you're there for him if he needs you and that you care.

He said that it was all right for me to stay in the apartment we shared together. He even offered to buy me a phone with service (since right now I have none) if I stayed because then he'd have the money too. I had told him that I would move out because I thought it would be easier on both of us emotionally and I got no response. Anytime I bring it up...I still get no response.

We are dependent on each other financially really. So I'm not sure if that is the reason I'm getting no response, or if he really just doesn't want me to go.

I want to give him space, but I'm not sure how much is too little or too much. Honestly, when I had decided that I would leave a lot of it had to do with me thinking that maybe he would realize he missed me and would want me to come back. Only now I'm worried that if it isn't that he is just bored with me, what if he is going through something that he might need help with? Then I won't be there. I'm not sure what to do. 😢 Thank you for helping.

I would'nt say he is depressed... Sounds like he doesn't want to feel for you, but he does.

He will come around to being a friend on his own time and on his own terms.
Quite possibly he can't see a future with you...

Posted by Sickleesweet

We are dependent on each other financially really. So I'm not sure if that is the reason I'm getting no response, or if he really just doesn't want me to go.

He said he did not want you to go, it's that straightforward.

I want to give him space, but I'm not sure how much is too little or too much. Honestly, when I had decided that I would leave a lot of it had to do with me thinking that maybe he would realize he missed me and would want me to come back.

Big mistake, that "move" doesn't usually work on Virgo men.

Only now I'm worried that if it isn't that he is just bored with me, what if he is going through something that he might need help with? Then I won't be there. I'm not sure what to do. 😢 Thank you for helping.

click to expand

Not about being bored, maybe scared or just disinterested :/

Those damn Aquarius moons, men that have this moon sign are a MF. I wouldn't have ever exposed my true feelings with a man that carries that astrological make-up, he will run run run *POOF* he's gone. FREEDOM and plenty of it.

My advice is to Back away and don't make a big deal out of it, just act as if none of it bothers you, that will jolt him OUT of his conundrum, let him do his thing and try to focus on your life, I mean completely focus on your life, go out with friends, just live your life around him like he's not even there in the room, eventually he will shift out of it and get back into reality, since your both financially dependent on one another try to save as much money as you can and begin to find a way to be financially independent and don't TAKE ANYTHING FROM HIM, phones nothing, just let him feel like he's completely free to do what he needs and wants to do.

You will feel hurt over his unavailability but I would caution you not to believe his reasons, men under this Aqua moon sign will say some of the most fucked up things to get out of a relationship, I don't love you is a huge hurtful one, most likely he is just feeling inadequate and non-committal, he doesn't want to committ to reality, reality is bills gotta get paid or he won't have electricity and food, relationships get boring and routine, grocery needs to be bought, jobs need to be worked and he's just feeling like his life is not his own, he has to commit to his job and commit to paying his bills but the one thing he can control is his commitment to you so unfortunately your the blame why he isn't happy, DON'T OWN THAT BULLSHIT EXCUSE HE GAVE YOU. You did nothing wrong, he's just not happy with his life because he's not happy with his life and we Aqua's are notorious for making up reasons why were not happy, when the reality is we tend to do everything to overthink things, make-up tons of excuses for our emotional laziness with other human beings..

He needs mental stimulation, Aqua's love mental stimulation, he needs to be exposed to something new and different or he will feel like he's fallen out of love, I'm not sure but if your still friends take him out to an exciting mentally stimulating night full of fun and new stuff, it could help his mood and help him explore his issues, if you don't then he will passively sit there doing nothing...suggestion, try it.

Posted by sortilege85
Why the hell would he choose video games over you—?


People these days...

I like to say... you can't get a Video game pregnant... 😛
But that's totally irrelevant lol

No I didn't miss it, she's the active partner, he's checked out of the relationship and it has a lot to do with that moon placement and mars placement, she seems to be completely fine with commitment with him but it doesn't seem to be that way for him.

I've decided...

I'm going to let him go romantically. Since it seems to me, all of you (at least that's what I'm picking up on), and all of those who know us that this really isn't about me or at least anything I could have helped. I'm still living in the same apartment as him, but we're going to try to get our finances together. I'm just going to be his friend and try to be content with that. Even though its hard going back to that after all the things we've had between us. He seems ok with it, so I guess I can be too. Thanks for everyone's advice. It really helped a lot.

You know what's funny about the whole video console's can't get pregnant is that on a lot of games now there are wives that Do get pregnant and take you game money to keep the child up. Mwahahah you cant escape it even in a virtual world!

Posted by Sickleesweet
You know what's funny about the whole video console's can't get pregnant is that on a lot of games now there are wives that Do get pregnant and take you game money to keep the child up. Mwahahah you cant escape it even in a virtual world!

Hahahaha, that's why you just cut them out to begin with 😛

Lol no, honestly, the thing I don't understand about that comment is that the entire reason we connected so often was the sole fact that I'm sometimes worse of a video game junkie than HE is. Most of the time (even now) we would play these games together. Other times, we would play separate games and just give each other alone time. So for him to say he wants more time for games and less time for a girlfriend is basically just cutting out the sex and cuddle time. Which I don't understand, because I am extremely giving in the first and not all that fussy about the second.

im an aquarius moon, in my opininon he trying to ind an exuse to keep you away for a second the game excuse was as fabricated as plastic, give his space and show him that youve accomplished many feats.Dont throw it in his face but show that you can be majorly productive more than him, he will be motivated by this plus it would surprise him us aqua moons like surprises and prductivity

I'm not sure I even get the responsers here ..... when I read this, I didn't come away thinking the same thing as everyone else.

They were just best friends, not partners ... same rules don't apply.

She is the one who "felt" something for a friend, and he isn't sharing this same sentiment ... because he doesn't love his friend the way she wants him to love her .. doesn't make him the bad guy in which everyone here has concluded which prompted them to place judgement on his character.

wtf? He isn't even here to defend his integrity.



"he comes back and he tells me he doesn't feel anything for me anymore"


Where exactly is he being deluded? ^^^^^^ sounds to me like he's telling her straight up, I'm not feelin ya.
Instead of hearing him when he tells her this .. she decides to ignore it and try to make it into something else.


"because I thought thats what he needed. I thought that was the problem."

Because he already said what it is ... he's not feeling you, he doesn't love you that way .. what part of that don't you comprehend?

Furthermore, I don't believe he has ever loved you that way and that you've allowed yourself to be deluded all this time because you said ...

"I know he loved me at least at one time. I could see it in his eyes and feel it when he touched me."

Which means ... you thought he loved you because an assumption you made. You didn't say that you know he loved you once because he TOLD you he loved you .... he never told you, you just assumed he did because that's what you wanted him to do and so you decided to attached love to the way he touched you and looked at you.


Gemini's have this issue .. every one of them. Wake up .. this has all been in your head.

He never loved you .... because as sure as I'm sitting here ... if he did, he would have told you.

Virgos say what they mean .. and mean what they say

Posted by P-Angel

Where exactly is he being deluded? ^^^^^^ sounds to me like he's telling her straight up, I'm not feelin ya.
Instead of hearing him when he tells her this .. she decides to ignore it and try to make it into something else.


"because I thought thats what he needed. I thought that was the problem."

Because he already said what it is ... he's not feeling you, he doesn't love you that way .. what part of that don't you comprehend?


"I know he loved me at least at one time. I could see it in his eyes and feel it when he touched me."

Virgos say what they mean .. and mean what they say

I concur, wholeheartedly.

hi, I am sure I am a little late on this post. I am a virgo and I get in moods where I just dont want to be alone. I shut every one and everything down. I am a introvert. I find that people and things are draining. so If I need to figure out where I am I disconnect myself. I then start looking at situations from the outside. depending on how strong you are emotionally stay and be comforting, but dont get in his face. when he needs you he will reach out to you. but for now do your thing. Trust me its not you its him.

P angel, sorry I didn't elaborate on the situation more. We have been friends for eight years. We have Dated for 7 months. He has said he loves me. Actually, he was the one who initiated being something more than friends. My problem, as a gemini, is that I jump from one thought to another and expect everyone to follow my unspoken thought. Also, no one is bashing him as far as I can see.

Posted by missmeow4
when i read"he likes playing video games because he is discontent with himself and feels a sense of value when hes a character in a game"..that scares me,im a virgo female and if i ever came to the point of saying THAT to someone and suddenly not caring about a best friend anymore..i think he's seriously depressed with his life in general.i cant think of any other reason because im not in your shoes.

i agree, that's probably exactly what he is going through. yikes