Are all virgos cynical about love?

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kate
@kate
21 Years

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I was chatting to a male virgo friend of mine this morning about love and the dating game. His opinion, which he made very clear, is that love is an illusion, and that "loving" someone is not about that person at all but rather, about your own addiction to how they respond to you.

What do you guys think about this? I tried to argue that his theory made love sound selfish which I dont beleive it is, not real love anyway, and that while love can not be seen/ touched it is not an illiusion and is still worth beleiving in.

The conversation ended with him saying "Well, I dont beleive in Santa Clause but I still enjoy getting presents on Christmas morning!"

What do you think? Do other Virgos/ people find themselves analysing love and feelings to the point where they no longer beleive in their importance?
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floater1
@floater1
21 Years

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I dated a virgo at one point in my life, and I think he had the same philosphy. I am a cancer and thrive on deep feelings and emotions. My virgo was very selfish, and I wondered sometimes if he was truly capable of deep, genuine love. He said he loved me 75x a day - but I wonder if he just loved the love, support, emotional stability, incredible sex I gave him. When he broke up with me, he seemed to move on so quickly, while my healing process seemed like forever. Granted now when I see him, he does give me a very loving, longing "look", which makes me believe he hides true feelings for protection sake. I really don't know anymore, he was a very tough nut to crack.
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phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
21 Years5,000+ Posts

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I just have to say that "a very tough nut to crack" sums up all of my experiences with all Virgos, ever, in my whole life. I am a Scorpio btw. Anyway, I cannot answer the question of are they all cynical about love, but I do believe they are able to be more detached from the romanticism and emotional side of love in favor of the more practical/logical side. And yes I do believe there are different ways of loving someone. Virgos...an ever-existing challenge for me to "crack". Perhaps that is why I often feel compelled to try to crack them...
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floater1
@floater1
21 Years

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Phoenix, maybe you scorpios are more determined, compelled, whatever than us cancers, but I was just emotionally exhausted and drained with my virgo. It was truly starting to take a physical toll on me as well as emotional. It was really tough - I just stopped the whole damn thing!
Scorps - I get along famously with your sign. Much more my speed and emotionally so different in such a healthy way.
I like challenges up to a point, but when it starts taking a toll on my well being, it's time to call it quits.
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phoenix_rising
@phoenix_rising
21 Years5,000+ Posts

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floater-

I can imagine your frustration with that Virgo. I think everyone has a breaking point and when it becomes more work than enjoyment, that's when that "drained" feeling takes over and you have no desire or reason to continue trying to make things work or figure things out.

My relationships with Cancers...well, I've dated a few and been friends with more than a few. I would say I've mainly been friends with female cancers and gone out with male cancers, so I have a pretty good perpective (I think) on both types (and with the exception of one, I am to this day friends with all of my cancer exes--the one I no longer have contact with is married, and that's the only reason why...plus he's in the armed forces. lol)

Anyway, wow...there's a lot to say about me and cancers. I will be completely realistic and honest about it: I mostly adore them, but sometimes I need to keep my distance from them, specifically when I feel they get so wrapped up in their own emotional problems/issues/whatever that they have absolutely no clue that just because other people aren't talking about their problems/issues/whatever (other people being *me*...lol), doesn't mean they don't have them. Here's an example of a cancer ex bf/friend of mine annoying me: we talk quite often on the phone normally, but I haven't been "available" for quite a while now because of this...he has this serious ex-girlfriend with whom he had an extremely rocky, up and down, tumultuous relationship with (she's a Pisces). Well, personally, I don't take kindly to anyone who creates such unhappiness in my friend(s) that they feel suicidal, have to start taking anti-depressants, develop ulcers, hardly ever leave their house, etcetera. So, I've been right there with him talking him through everything for a long time now, when nobody else would listen to him anymore.

I give him so much advice, it's unbelievable. When he's not thinking straight, I will give him every possible course of action and present him with the pros and cons. He wants my opinion on things so I give them. In the most sensitive way possible. I tell him that I feel his relationship with her is destructive to both of them, and that it is a toxic situation that frankly worries me and disturbs me. Blah blah blah. At first, I was like, "this is none of my business..." but he kept calling and he was quite upset about the state of his life, and I do care about him and it pisses me off that this chick is being such a total cookiemonster to him *all the time*.

Anyway, no matter how much advice I give, and how many hours we spend talking about him and his emotional state, when I finally get a chance to talk about what's going on with me, he'll just be like, "he's an a s s h o l e, you should run away fast". lol. I recently just got sick of always investing so much of myself and my worry for him into our friendship that I cut him off, because I wasn't getting the same back. Plus, in the end, he always continues to deal with her. So, nothing I say obviously matters.

Sigh. That's just one example of many...

lol, but on the good side, I've found that cancers are, deep down, very caring people who basically want the best for you and who understand the deep stuff. I enjoy that. Next to Virgo, I enjoy Cancer the most, of all the signs.
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floater1
@floater1
21 Years

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Gosh, I hope all us cancers are not that way. This was the same situation with me, only with the virgo I mentioned above. He only seeks me out when he needs comfort, and then disappears when everything is hunkey dorey and he's getting his rocks off. I acknowledge his emails, but that's it - I will not benefit from a friendship with him, so I must cut him off. I was very much in love with him, but he's a meess. I gave so much of myself, and with very little respect in return. It's funny, that he still seeks me out -
he always told me I was comfort to him, but of course, nothing in return. I think I will stick with the scorps.
thanks phoenix -
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Josh
@Josh
21 YearsCapricorn

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Back to the Virgo thing- I think that Virgos see things the way they really are, which is sad most of the time. The Virgos I know are mostly all cynical, and I've got a Virgo rising and I've got a HUGEmungous negative streak. Unfortunately, my negativity is a result of extreme reality setting in at an early age. I have to daydream to escape, and that usually turns into something practical like writing a novel anyway. Reality...dang it! Dang it to heck!