Cap Man Chasing Virgo Woman (Long Read)

I'm a 24yr old cap, and she just turned 26 (Sept.10). We met pretty much on twitter, but had a lot of mutual associates. We would always flirt back & forth when time permitted, until one of us stopped. To make a long story short, one day a mutual friend asked "twitter world" who wanted to hit the movies to see "Step Up Revolution?" I had replied that I did, and the mutaul friend tells me that the chick (26 virgo) was coming to. So we all decide to meet up at applebee's before the movie. We have a couple drinks & get the talking. Somehow they both ask me what my views were on dating a woman w/ kids. (mind you they both are single mothers w/ sons). I state my opinions, and they both seemed surprised, in a good way. The rest of the night goes good.

Next couple days pass & I just keep in contact w/ the chick thru twitter, didnt have her number yet. So I ask "twitter world" who had wanted to make me a care package for the road cause I was going on a 8 city tour (I'm a dj). Out of no where she had volunteered, and said she would. I was surprised but didnt think nothing of it cause I was playing around, but loved the thought of her actually doing it. A day or two passes & I get a text from the mutual friend asking me if I preferred water or soda. I replied, and then she tells me the chick wanted to know cause she was really making my care package & to hit her up. So thats how I got the chicks number. To make this story short, I text her & make arrangements to get the goodies.

About a week & a half passes. I'm back from tour feeling good cause through out the whole time gone we were texting sporadically; which even continued when I got back. Pretty much everyday was a good morning text, how was your day, good night, etc, etc. So one day I'm in the fabric store looking for fabric cause I customize hat brims, and tweet about it. She ask why am I there & being the charmer I am I tell er "looking for fabric to make you a blanket." She never replied back lol but later that night I saw her at the skating rink (she loves to skate). She ask me again what was I really doing there & again I replied "I was looking for fabric to make you a blanket for your cold nights" She immediately started smiling & blushing a lil. After that passed I told her the real reason.

So I ended up asking her fav color & print. She told me & within a few days I had really made her a blanket. When I drop the blanket off to her, her son is there & so is her friend. I dap up her lil dude (first time meeting em)& say hello to her friend, then I give her her blanket. She seemed really happy, then offered me homemade cobbler. After I leave I get a text no more than 20 mins later thanking me & telling me how im so sweet. I must of did about 2 more nice things for her after that, and same kind of follow up text.

Bout 2 weeks pass & communication is still good. Then comes the day where we were pretty much around each other for the longest we've ever been. It was a back to school hoop tournament to give back to the community. So that whole day was cool & light hearted. It was until the after party which I dj'd that I felt like she might like / be interested in me. So that whole night she's working the door & I'm dj'n. The whole night was flirty between us. She would even unintentionally give me looks when a female was near me. She gets done working the door & immediately dudes are trying to dance w/ her. She keeps declining. After the night was over she comes and sits on my lap (clearly chosen). We end up going to breakfast (3am). After that we end up going back to her place. We just listened to music, talked, and fell asleep. I didn't try anything.

Next day she reveals that she enjoyed that night more than I even know & that I was the perfect gentleman. She starts to get more open the next couple days, then BOOM! I messed up lol. I declined to go to breakfast w/ her cause she said another dude wanted to go. Me being stubborn, and passive I was like just go with em, Ill catch up with ya later. She instantly got mad, and didnt talk to me for a good chunk of the day. Later that night she explained, we were on the way to being cool again & then BOOM!! I messed up again. I got irritated at her cause I thought she was flirting with someone on purpose trying to make me mad. The next couple days were hell.

Bout 2 days pass. Minimal contact. Mind you her birthday is coming up & Im pretty much in the doghouse. It wasnt until that Friday she started to get back to herself with me. Sharing that she was excited cause she found her bday dress, etc. So I was at ease a lil.

Monday comes (her bday) and I had made her a gift basket. Through our convos & such I picked up on a lot of small things. So in her basket I did just that. Fav candy, chocolate covered strawberries, slippers, wine, hand towels, lotion, body spray etc. What made it cool is I personalized it & that was the ONLY thing she had gotten all day & she wasnt expecting anything from me. We chilled & watched movies the rest of that night. She even opened up to me about not being in a relationship for 3 years, and liking to take thins slow. She was so happy she offered to make me hot wings the next day. After that day, is when it started to get weird. I went over there this last sat, and it just felt like a total disconnect. We weren't sitting by each other, talking as much, and she even was on her phone texting majority of the time. Even tho she made dinner it was weird. And it's been like that for the last couple days. I just text her morning, miss ya, and night.

So my question is am I doing too much? Does she feel like she left herself somewhat vulnerable & is now pulling back?

I don't think you did too much because she was responsive to all your gestures. If someone goes out of the way to do nice things for me and I don't see him as more than a friend I will let him down gently because I'd feel I would take advantage of him otherwise (feeling like an user).

She may have distanced herself because she felt you weren't making a move on her. I mean, if I liked you and you spent a lot of time with me, exchanging presents etc, I might expect you to move in on the physical contact - hug me, kiss me. Virgos analyze a lot so she might try to talk herself out of it "He did a lot of nice things for me but he never made a move - maybe he just likes me as a friend". I don't think you did anything wrong in expressing your interest - you must be a genuinely caring person so there is no need to act aloof if that's not how you are deep down. She might've pulled back because it's hard to find someone who goes out of his way for you and not wonder if they're up to something, or if it's a game they are playing, but that only points to her insecurities. Maybe her relationship with the baby's father ended not long ago so she may be cautious in approaching another relationship.

My advice would be to give her a little space and see if she approaches you. Try not to discuss the awkward moments if you feel her pulling away..maybe she has other things on her mind, a problem at work etc. It may not be related to you at all.

Why would she want to bring another guy to breakfast with you? Was it a date? If so, you were right in not going. If a guy tried to bring another gal along on a date, I'd decline too. If she is mad about that and being hot and cold, you ought to be concerned. Because she will be this way as a girlfriend, where you will always feel like you can never make her happy. Mixed signals to me is a bad sign. Sure Virgos can push and pull, but all signs do that. You really should be asking yourself if you want a warm, happy girl or a hot-cold girl you can't read.

When she was on her phone texting the wole time, you should have asked her what was wrong so you can if find out. And if she ignored you, get up and leave. If a guy had me come over and acted like that, and didn't want to tell me what was wrong, I would be outta there. My time is valuable and somebody else can appreciate my company.

@VirgoSpirit She said she wasn't mad but I could tell cause of the short answers, but I guess she told me if I didn't like the idea of him going I should have just spoke up, that's why she told me. Said she would never put me in those type of situations & or purpusely try to make me jealous; said she wasnt into those types of games.

@Damnnata - I think imma try to give er a Lil more space cause it's always me hitting er up first; every blue moon shell text me first.

Declining WAS saying no and your way of maintaining respect for yourself. Capricorns are reticent about their feelings, like Virgos, and express mainly thru action.

She is playing a game too of saying she 's not mad when she is, and being cold and texting when she had you as company. But you being a Cap and her being a Virgo, you ought to try to draw her out so she and you can open up and communicate how you both feel for each other and what you both want. Otherwise it will be this hot and cold thing going on forever. Someone has to step up and open the lines of communication.

I think she does want you, just doesn't know how to show it. She is letting you do the pursuing because you are the man, she is the woman. There is nothing wrong with that. Just that she Isnt happy about how things are going and if you want this to work, you have to find out what is going on. If you meet another woman, you will also have to be doing this. So why not practice now?

I met a Cap guy once and really liked him. He wouldn't tell me anything until I got tired of wasting time and flat out asked him if he could see us being together. He said no and I was on my way. Sure my feelings were hurt, but they were already hurt by the way he was acting (cold and distant). So his answer freed me.

What I am saying is that as earth signs, you both don't communicate your feelings directly the way a water or fire sign would. So SOMEBODY has to break the ice and be the trailblazer so to speak, like I was with the Capman.

@LeoVirgoGirl it's not hard for me to go out w/ her & male friends. It's just that one in particular I know is interested in her some kind of way & he knows she shows me more attention; so he gives me dirty looks n such. I just didn't feel like sitting thru that bs. She did express she wanted to go with me anyway. But by that time it was too late. Her passion is hair & we have chatted bout that before cause I we t to barber school & my brothers wife & my sister are hairstylist.

@VirgoSpirit what are some forward straight ways of opening that communication line? Cause like you said I rather show than tell; same with her.

I talked to her earlier; she said she didn't know what was wrong & she hasn't been herself lately, but she was good. I simply told er I know what would cheer her up & said a dozen of Krispy Kreme donuts (her fav) lol she laughed & said I was trynna make her fat. So that was good. Met at the grocery store gave er the donuts, she smiled etc. Went into the store w/ er pushed the cart & tried asking why she was so down. She again said she wasn't, so I backed off. Rest of the trip wasn't weird tho

Looks like you didnt need my help! That is a good start. I'm glad she is ok now. I am sure she appreciates that you expressed concern and this allowed her to feel better too.

Just remember, whenever something feels off, whenever she is aloof or being curt (short in her answers), basically not herself, check in with her. Checking in is what you just did, and it is absolutely necessary for any relationship, especially for earth signs where it doesn't always feel natural or automatic. She may not be in touch with her feelings so she won't even know why she feels the way she does. She isnt opening up now because it is too soon. So it is wise you backed off. In time, when she gets more comfortable and trusts you, she should be able to show you her vulnerable side. For the time being, showing her you care will make her feel special and good and put her at ease.

When she is at ease, you'll enjoy her company more. It pays off.

In time she may catch on and respond the same way to you, checking in with you. This is healthy. Toxic is people withholding feelings which turn into grudges because nobody bothered to stop and process what has transpired.