Cajunspirit
@Cajunspirit
17 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo
Comments: 3 · Posts: 4208 · Topics: 163
Commitment Phobic
I've never really had this problem. My wife is an Aries. It took me years to get the official "yes". My heart was pounding while I waited. I felt like a commitment phobe at the time due to the fact that I may have been giving myself completely to someone that may have been living life like they were strolling around an amusement park. I used to take every step of life seriously. Now I have the time to stroll.
I don't know if you have commitment phobia, but I can shed some light on CP men for the record a hardcore commitment phobic would NEVER admit he has this issue, so I'm thinking your more along the lines of a guy that is apprehensive with settling with the wrong woman.
A commitment phobic man has an INTENSE FEAR OF BEING COMMITTED TO ANYTHING
When women are involved with commitment phobic men, they are anxiously moving forward and planning a future with him yet he has subtly ALREADY placed the relationship in reverse--taking it backwards. You are moving forward--he is moving backwards. You are future future and he is taking it to the PAST where he hopes it eventually will RETURN to its EMBRYO STAGE and then *POOF* just magically DISAPPEAR to whence it came. NOTHING. OBLIVION
It's easy to say commitment phobia is the problem but it's really our INTENSE NEED to be with him that is the REAL problem. It's NOTHING wrong with the women, his walking away, his rejection HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US PERIOD...He must seek and seek to even find a flaw to GET OUT, to have an OUT CLAUSE, THE OUT CLAUSE IS HIS SAFETY NET. A CP man will have you DEFENDING yourself, defending your actions unnecessarily...THE CP MAKES US DO THAT
So basically a commitment phobic has an intense fear of being TIED down, it's like any other phobia, such as being afraid of heights, elevators, spiders, the more the woman cooks, cleans, washes his clothes, GIVES to him out of kindness/neediness the more than man feels suffocated and tied down, he will naw his own foot off just to get out of feeling this way. The more perfect a woman is the more a CP man just wants out, he will leave for a few weeks and come back once he feels the urgency of his phobia has subsided, so he's basically in and out through out the entire relationship.
to a man that is NOT AFRAID OF COMMITMENT he is EXCITED over a woman chasing him, they enjoy the attention, they enjoy the feelings of being attractive, desirable, wanted and needed. Yet with a CP when we go after them like we would a man that is not afraid of commitment he is SCARED TO DEATH TO BUY OUR PRODUCT. To a CP our product is simply too COSTLY, UNWANTED, UNAVAILABLE AND SOLD OUT. The more we try to PUSH OUR PRODUCT the more phobic he becomes we suddenly become the VENDORS FROM HELL, the more we instinctively push or product the more they retreat
A commitment phobic man has an INTENSE FEAR OF BEING COMMITTED TO ANYTHING
When women are involved with commitment phobic men, they are anxiously moving forward and planning a future with him yet he has subtly ALREADY placed the relationship in reverse--taking it backwards. You are moving forward--he is moving backwards. You are future future and he is taking it to the PAST where he hopes it eventually will RETURN to its EMBRYO STAGE and then *POOF* just magically DISAPPEAR to whence it came. NOTHING. OBLIVION
It's easy to say commitment phobia is the problem but it's really our INTENSE NEED to be with him that is the REAL problem. It's NOTHING wrong with the women, his walking away, his rejection HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US PERIOD...He must seek and seek to even find a flaw to GET OUT, to have an OUT CLAUSE, THE OUT CLAUSE IS HIS SAFETY NET. A CP man will have you DEFENDING yourself, defending your actions unnecessarily...THE CP MAKES US DO THAT
So basically a commitment phobic has an intense fear of being TIED down, it's like any other phobia, such as being afraid of heights, elevators, spiders, the more the woman cooks, cleans, washes his clothes, GIVES to him out of kindness/neediness the more than man feels suffocated and tied down, he will naw his own foot off just to get out of feeling this way. The more perfect a woman is the more a CP man just wants out, he will leave for a few weeks and come back once he feels the urgency of his phobia has subsided, so he's basically in and out through out the entire relationship.
to a man that is NOT AFRAID OF COMMITMENT he is EXCITED over a woman chasing him, they enjoy the attention, they enjoy the feelings of being attractive, desirable, wanted and needed. Yet with a CP when we go after them like we would a man that is not afraid of commitment he is SCARED TO DEATH TO BUY OUR PRODUCT. To a CP our product is simply too COSTLY, UNWANTED, UNAVAILABLE AND SOLD OUT. The more we try to PUSH OUR PRODUCT the more phobic he becomes we suddenly become the VENDORS FROM HELL, the more we instinctively push or product the more they retreat
Virski78, that's how I feel. Like tiki33 expounded on, I am afraid of marrying and completely committing myself to the wrong person. I am a serious guy, I take a lot of things seriously. The woman I would like to marry is a Sagittarius, and she is so care free.
hikoro I definitely think it is my Leo placements. One very outstanding excerpt from my natal chart lays in my Moon in Leo.
Venus in Leo
Sincere, frank and warm affections. He is full of tenderness. High hopes of love.
He likes to live and satisfy his passions to the full. Protects and makes friends with those who can be useful.
Weaknesses: excess in pleasure and amusements. Haughty, boastful, pretentious:
he is affected, and seduces for the sake of seducing
to prove to himself that he is attractive (this gets worse with age).
I never full understood why I need to prove to myself I am attractive through enticing other women... then I saw the natal chart and realised it's how I am built.
StringsAttached, Why does the thought of total and complete commitment scare the hell out of you?
It scares me because I see marriage as a very serious and sacred institution. If I do marry, it will be a Roman Catholic marriage where divorce has a scant chance.
Exactly how does it make you feel?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and trapped. Tied down.
What exactly is being threatened?
As my chart shows, I fear not being able to prove that I am attractive to myself through flirting with other women.
And do you ever see yourself actually "working through this?" and overturning that fear?
Yes, I do. It is a necessity to get married.
tiki33, I exhibit some of these symptoms, not all.
I do not work my relationship in the reverse.
I do enjoy attention and feelings of being attracted, desired and wanted.
I do not retreat from the product my girlfriend is pushing... though it does make me nervous, at times.
I do test my girlfriend, though it's really subconcious to discover her true intentions.
I do have an "out clause" but that is only because of the wrongs she has committed in the relationship.
I do have an intense fear of being tied down.
hikoro I definitely think it is my Leo placements. One very outstanding excerpt from my natal chart lays in my Moon in Leo.
Venus in Leo
Sincere, frank and warm affections. He is full of tenderness. High hopes of love.
He likes to live and satisfy his passions to the full. Protects and makes friends with those who can be useful.
Weaknesses: excess in pleasure and amusements. Haughty, boastful, pretentious:
he is affected, and seduces for the sake of seducing
to prove to himself that he is attractive (this gets worse with age).
I never full understood why I need to prove to myself I am attractive through enticing other women... then I saw the natal chart and realised it's how I am built.
StringsAttached, Why does the thought of total and complete commitment scare the hell out of you?
It scares me because I see marriage as a very serious and sacred institution. If I do marry, it will be a Roman Catholic marriage where divorce has a scant chance.
Exactly how does it make you feel?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and trapped. Tied down.
What exactly is being threatened?
As my chart shows, I fear not being able to prove that I am attractive to myself through flirting with other women.
And do you ever see yourself actually "working through this?" and overturning that fear?
Yes, I do. It is a necessity to get married.
tiki33, I exhibit some of these symptoms, not all.
I do not work my relationship in the reverse.
I do enjoy attention and feelings of being attracted, desired and wanted.
I do not retreat from the product my girlfriend is pushing... though it does make me nervous, at times.
I do test my girlfriend, though it's really subconcious to discover her true intentions.
I do have an "out clause" but that is only because of the wrongs she has committed in the relationship.
I do have an intense fear of being tied down.
StringsAttached, I thank you for your positive yet realistic words. I believe we are part of the same cloth with threads very closely nit together.
hikoro, I am by no means disloyal or unfaithful.
Why should my age have anything to do with it? I never enter a relationship if I do not see potential for marriage.
Why should my age have anything to do with it? I never enter a relationship if I do not see potential for marriage.
Also Cajun it could possibly be the times we live in, men have OPTIONS and they are very aware that they have options, what those options consist of and how to meet their own needs without any ONE woman's approval, their truly is no reason to marry outside of keeping up with family traditions and babies, you can easily have love, sex and friendship with many women that are willing to share or with one woman that is okay with girlfriend status. It's not like it once was when men felt pressured to make a commitment to get a steady supply of sex.
I fortunately have had the opportunity to hear men talk with no restrictions, no holding back and most these men 20's on up are not interested in commitment unless it's on his terms, many men find the ONE over and over again but still resist marriage because they simply want the option to sleep around (women call it cheating) but for men it's about managing their sex life as to not feel frustrated and needy of one woman, to prevent being controlled by one woman, controlled by a relationship...many men feel to settle down with one woman is closing his options down, losing his freedom and restricting his option to hunt and play and have fun. Their is so many options, open relationship, open long term relationships, multiple open relationships, multiple relationships, their is so many relationships beyond just have oneitis that many men don't see a reason to commit. You even have women that will allow a one sided relationship were she's allowing her man to sleep around, chase women but she's loyal...So men are going to stall and play around with all these options until they find one that FITS their life style .
I fortunately have had the opportunity to hear men talk with no restrictions, no holding back and most these men 20's on up are not interested in commitment unless it's on his terms, many men find the ONE over and over again but still resist marriage because they simply want the option to sleep around (women call it cheating) but for men it's about managing their sex life as to not feel frustrated and needy of one woman, to prevent being controlled by one woman, controlled by a relationship...many men feel to settle down with one woman is closing his options down, losing his freedom and restricting his option to hunt and play and have fun. Their is so many options, open relationship, open long term relationships, multiple open relationships, multiple relationships, their is so many relationships beyond just have oneitis that many men don't see a reason to commit. You even have women that will allow a one sided relationship were she's allowing her man to sleep around, chase women but she's loyal...So men are going to stall and play around with all these options until they find one that FITS their life style .
As long as their are OPTIONS their are going to be men that are going to resist commitment, men are coming to understand one woman can't fulfill all his needs and a commitment is not fun unless she's the ONE and she can at least fulfill 99% of his needs he's not going to marry.
Posted by tiki33
As long as their are OPTIONS their are going to be men that are going to resist commitment, men are coming to understand one woman can't fulfill all his needs and a commitment is not fun unless she's the ONE and she can at least fulfill 99% of his needs he's not going to marry.
I agree with all that you've said tiki.
But just to add, women have options too. Some choose not to focus on that, fearing that they will be called names or whatever. For example, a 45 year old woman may have reservations about going out with a 25 year old guy. Theres nothing wrong with it at all, but that fear of what others will think of them may lead them not to entertain this idea unfortunately.
In my opinion, as long as you aren't screwing every dude you go out with, theres nothing to worry about.
I think the more women open up to themselves about what they want, the more they'll see that they really don't have to wait around. Keep in mind, this revelation just came to me a few days ago, so don't quote me on this but this is what I'm feeling at the moment. Its never too late to realize things.
But you can quote me on the fact that woman have options and some of us know that, but most don't.
I'm currently trying to steer this scorpio woman away from this guy that I know is no good for her. I'm doing it in my own way, he has no idea. She's too cool, too sweet and too pretty for him. She needs someone whose going to take care of her, not someone thats going to drag her down. No way! She's like my little project ^_^.
I had a long talk with my mother yesterday too. I guess based on our conversation, she came to the conclusion that I need to stay single haha. She says that I'm not ready to commit to any guy.
And you know, maybe she's right. The mere thought of a guy being attached to me for the rest of my life scares the living woo haa out of me. Like I've said, I have no problem committing to the right guy when I'm ready but maybe I'm not. I want too much right now, and the guys that I've met aren't giving it to me. I don't know how things will work out if I settle with a guy and I know he's not giving me what I want ... but I settle anyway.
I know how I can be and I've never given any dude a false impression and knew it.
So yes, I know theres something that I need and not having it will make it impression for me to remain in a relationship.
I think maybe I should find it before I get involved with anyone else. Especially since I attract virgos ... they can get pretty nuts when you break up with them instead of them doing it to you first. Yeppers ... well, not all of them are like that but most ^_^.
And you know, maybe she's right. The mere thought of a guy being attached to me for the rest of my life scares the living woo haa out of me. Like I've said, I have no problem committing to the right guy when I'm ready but maybe I'm not. I want too much right now, and the guys that I've met aren't giving it to me. I don't know how things will work out if I settle with a guy and I know he's not giving me what I want ... but I settle anyway.
I know how I can be and I've never given any dude a false impression and knew it.
So yes, I know theres something that I need and not having it will make it impression for me to remain in a relationship.
I think maybe I should find it before I get involved with anyone else. Especially since I attract virgos ... they can get pretty nuts when you break up with them instead of them doing it to you first. Yeppers ... well, not all of them are like that but most ^_^.
Posted by tiki33
Also Cajun it could possibly be the times we live in, men have OPTIONS and they are very aware that they have options, what those options consist of and how to meet their own needs without any ONE woman's approval, their truly is no reason to marry outside of keeping up with family traditions and babies, you can easily have love, sex and friendship with many women that are willing to share or with one woman that is okay with girlfriend status. It's not like it once was when men felt pressured to make a commitment to get a steady supply of sex.
I am not about sex. I have never seen any good reason to sleep around.
My girlfriend is my second partner and I hope that it remains that way.
I'm more interested in feeling wanted and attractive. The whole purpose of flirting with other women is to achieve that and nothing more.
Posted by hikoro
But this does not mean that we are truly ready to take that step or that we even want it mentally/emotionally and spiritually with smoldering passion at this moment.
click to expand
That just may be the simple fact of it.
That's good cajun, you KNOW what you need and this is what many men are doing, they know they have options thus they resist settling even when they are married (in some cases) and/or have a girlfriend, you know what fits your life style be it about sex or not you seem to have a healthy understanding about how to fulfill your own needs and flirting seems to keep you balanced and keep your frustration levels down, for instance I know a guy that has 2 cuddle partners, a real girlfriend and 2 FWB's and his words were I can't do any more than what I'm doing or I won't feel balanced, the way I have chosen to live keeps me from feeling controlled by women and needy of one women, I know men that do more than him, it's all a matter of managing needs, men today know that if they can get rid of neediness of wanting sex, wanting one women they open the door to more options and then they discover they don't need a girlfriend and choose to stay single and some don't, it's all about timing....I guess my point is I don't see you as a stone cold commitment phobic man, your just clearly aware of the grief it will cause you to choose the wrong woman which is a huge fear amongst most men.
Cappysweetie you are awesome, you will never be at the mercy of ONE man, you clearly see options is the way to go, the more choices you have the more you can manage your needs without expecting one guy to do it, unlike a lot of women you know you have options which kills the neediness and desperatation vibe so many women carry around. I see nothing wrong with you dating (sex or no sex) as long as you are managing your own needs and not waiting on one man to fulfill your every need so you can remain balanced and happy, you are 10 steps ahead of most women, your not stuck on one man and miserable because that one man you are emotionally stuck is resistant to being your everything, I'm sure you have your crushes and what not but it seems you have a pretty healthy attitude about your love life and dating.
Cappysweetie you are awesome, you will never be at the mercy of ONE man, you clearly see options is the way to go, the more choices you have the more you can manage your needs without expecting one guy to do it, unlike a lot of women you know you have options which kills the neediness and desperatation vibe so many women carry around. I see nothing wrong with you dating (sex or no sex) as long as you are managing your own needs and not waiting on one man to fulfill your every need so you can remain balanced and happy, you are 10 steps ahead of most women, your not stuck on one man and miserable because that one man you are emotionally stuck is resistant to being your everything, I'm sure you have your crushes and what not but it seems you have a pretty healthy attitude about your love life and dating.
Cappysweetie you are awesome, you will never be at the mercy of ONE man, you clearly see options is the way to go, the more choices you have the more you can manage your needs without expecting one guy to do it, unlike a lot of women you know you have options which kills the neediness and desperatation vibe so many women carry around. I see nothing wrong with you dating (sex or no sex) as long as you are managing your own needs and not waiting on one man to fulfill your every need so you can remain balanced and happy, you are 10 steps ahead of most women, your not stuck on one man and miserable because that one man you are emotionally stuck is resistant to being your everything, I'm sure you have your crushes and what not but it seems you have a pretty healthy attitude about your love life and dating.
Thanks Tiki ^_^.
I can be an emotional mess sometimes (lol @ Prince for making that observation) but I think I need to be that way in order to figure out what the heck I'm doing wrong. But thats not just with guys, thats with everything -- I go through these motions until I get figure out stuff I guess.
Afterwards, when it comes to a guy anyway, I will admit that I do feel kinda stupid .... going to pieces over some dude where theres like a ton more where he came from.
I'm thinking I need to make myself over again. I do it every 3 years it seems. Maybe if I make myself look like a dumb, ditz cutie pie, I will attract someone who is sane lol.
Thanks Tiki ^_^.
I can be an emotional mess sometimes (lol @ Prince for making that observation) but I think I need to be that way in order to figure out what the heck I'm doing wrong. But thats not just with guys, thats with everything -- I go through these motions until I get figure out stuff I guess.
Afterwards, when it comes to a guy anyway, I will admit that I do feel kinda stupid .... going to pieces over some dude where theres like a ton more where he came from.
I'm thinking I need to make myself over again. I do it every 3 years it seems. Maybe if I make myself look like a dumb, ditz cutie pie, I will attract someone who is sane lol.
Wow, I'm surprised Fum didn't sieze this opportunity to have a Virgo admitting to being CP .......
lol, she really doesn't deserve niceities ..... in fact, she made a huge dramatic thread last year focusing on CP, and how all Virgo men are totally fucked up with this ... ALL OF THEM .. inherently, for just being a Virgo.
Pretty fucked up when the reality of it was .... he found out she was a manipulating player and kicked her ass to the curb, and that was just her way of trying to find justification that he's fucked up because he's a Virgo, so she wouldn't have to face the truth about herself.
In my eyes, after what she did to that man ... she deserves all the bad energy she gets.
Good will come to her when faces the truth.
Pretty fucked up when the reality of it was .... he found out she was a manipulating player and kicked her ass to the curb, and that was just her way of trying to find justification that he's fucked up because he's a Virgo, so she wouldn't have to face the truth about herself.
In my eyes, after what she did to that man ... she deserves all the bad energy she gets.
Good will come to her when faces the truth.
She even made comment that the way I treat her in here .... yeah, that's how her people in real life treat her also ... so, there is some truth to my assessment because if her own people see what I see, then there is some serious reality checking she needs done.
LOL@I'm thinking I need to make myself over again. I do it every 3 years it seems. Maybe if I make myself look like a dumb, ditz cutie pie, I will attract someone who is sane lol.
Well it won't hurt to look the part but nah just be your cute adorable self, if you can manage to take care of your own needs and not wait on 1 man to do it it will prevent you from feeling needy, frustrated and prevent you from latching on and attempting to attach yourself to the first guy that shows interest in you, it's not in your best interest to waste a ton of time analyzing and lingering around a man that don't want to be your REAL man if that's what you want, no need to convince one particular guy that your special when their are tons of men that already KNOW your special and will treat you that way.
Well it won't hurt to look the part but nah just be your cute adorable self, if you can manage to take care of your own needs and not wait on 1 man to do it it will prevent you from feeling needy, frustrated and prevent you from latching on and attempting to attach yourself to the first guy that shows interest in you, it's not in your best interest to waste a ton of time analyzing and lingering around a man that don't want to be your REAL man if that's what you want, no need to convince one particular guy that your special when their are tons of men that already KNOW your special and will treat you that way.
cajun --
Cool down, hun.. give it time. We all go through phrases. If you are scared, then wait. you dont have to cut off ties with anyone.. expecially not sag lady you truly seem to want.
Just wait.. give it time..
Sags are cool. She will understand. I believe that there is something that your core is not completely happy with. I understand your worries. I go through same myself. Even if the guy tells me he loves me forever.. I doubt every bit of it. I kill myself questioning.. what if.. but.. what if..?? I compare things with my experiences and my past. For the one I had doubts; for the one I didnt know what was going on; for the one who created havoc in my life, he wasnt worthy of my attention. There was only ONE in my entire life who I cared deeply, but proofed not worthy.
You were pretty open with how you feel towards sag lady. You wanted to commit to her. CPs fear commitment. They only are committed to their children.
You know I like you dearly... I also apologize if there was anything I wrote on hear that affected you for the way you feel today.
Am not at my best today. There must be something in the stars getting us screwed or perhaps enlightened. I believe I can be more insightful another time. But for now...
I believe that you are rather panicking tht if you do not decide fast, you may lose sag girl for your indecisiveness. Am just assuming, and it is said not to assume for Virgo man, but I will anyway.. and I may be wrong.
On the other hand speaking from experience, cajun, there was no time ever for the guy who truly wanted Me, who proposed to me, had any doubt that he will be tied down. This includes a Virgo man I was married to for 13 years. I asked him if he ever felt tied down when he thought of marrying me. He was surprised I asked and claimed, NO. You dont seem CP to me... although am no expert, but I think the best answer for you is to wait.
It seems like an inner battle that your mind *wants* but your heart tells you not to. Listen to your heart. We will be entering a time in two weeks, when you may be better inclined to decide or feel different than from how you feel now.
I wished the last Virgo man I dated -- who badly broke my heart, and today I think he was emotionally just unavailable because his mind was at the very first scorp in his life (assuming again!)-- was as nearly as intelligent as you.
Much warm regards, my sweet one.
Cool down, hun.. give it time. We all go through phrases. If you are scared, then wait. you dont have to cut off ties with anyone.. expecially not sag lady you truly seem to want.
Just wait.. give it time..
Sags are cool. She will understand. I believe that there is something that your core is not completely happy with. I understand your worries. I go through same myself. Even if the guy tells me he loves me forever.. I doubt every bit of it. I kill myself questioning.. what if.. but.. what if..?? I compare things with my experiences and my past. For the one I had doubts; for the one I didnt know what was going on; for the one who created havoc in my life, he wasnt worthy of my attention. There was only ONE in my entire life who I cared deeply, but proofed not worthy.
You were pretty open with how you feel towards sag lady. You wanted to commit to her. CPs fear commitment. They only are committed to their children.
You know I like you dearly... I also apologize if there was anything I wrote on hear that affected you for the way you feel today.
Am not at my best today. There must be something in the stars getting us screwed or perhaps enlightened. I believe I can be more insightful another time. But for now...
I believe that you are rather panicking tht if you do not decide fast, you may lose sag girl for your indecisiveness. Am just assuming, and it is said not to assume for Virgo man, but I will anyway.. and I may be wrong.
On the other hand speaking from experience, cajun, there was no time ever for the guy who truly wanted Me, who proposed to me, had any doubt that he will be tied down. This includes a Virgo man I was married to for 13 years. I asked him if he ever felt tied down when he thought of marrying me. He was surprised I asked and claimed, NO. You dont seem CP to me... although am no expert, but I think the best answer for you is to wait.
It seems like an inner battle that your mind *wants* but your heart tells you not to. Listen to your heart. We will be entering a time in two weeks, when you may be better inclined to decide or feel different than from how you feel now.
I wished the last Virgo man I dated -- who badly broke my heart, and today I think he was emotionally just unavailable because his mind was at the very first scorp in his life (assuming again!)-- was as nearly as intelligent as you.
Much warm regards, my sweet one.
Compared to some of my buds I think the Virgos of us are conservative in this area.
Posted by Cajunspirit
Virski78, that's how I feel. Like tiki33 expounded on, I am afraid of marrying and completely committing myself to the wrong person. I am a serious guy, I take a lot of things seriously. The woman I would like to marry is a Sagittarius, and she is so care free.
hikoro I definitely think it is my Leo placements. One very outstanding excerpt from my natal chart lays in my Moon in Leo.
Venus in Leo
Sincere, frank and warm affections. He is full of tenderness. High hopes of love.
He likes to live and satisfy his passions to the full. Protects and makes friends with those who can be useful.
Weaknesses: excess in pleasure and amusements. Haughty, boastful, pretentious:
he is affected, and seduces for the sake of seducing
to prove to himself that he is attractive (this gets worse with age).
I never full understood why I need to prove to myself I am attractive through enticing other women... then I saw the natal chart and realised it's how I am built.
StringsAttached, Why does the thought of total and complete commitment scare the hell out of you?
It scares me because I see marriage as a very serious and sacred institution. If I do marry, it will be a Roman Catholic marriage where divorce has a scant chance.
Exactly how does it make you feel?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and trapped. Tied down.
What exactly is being threatened?
As my chart shows, I fear not being able to prove that I am attractive to myself through flirting with other women.
And do you ever see yourself actually "working through this?" and overturning that fear?
Yes, I do. It is a necessity to get married.
tiki33, I exhibit some of these symptoms, not all.
I do not work my relationship in the reverse.
I do enjoy attention and feelings of being attracted, desired and wanted.
I do not retreat from the product my girlfriend is pushing... though it does make me nervous, at times.
I do test my girlfriend, though it's really subconcious to discover her true intentions.
I do have an "out clause" but that is only because of the wrongs she has committed in the relationship.
I do have an intense fear of being tied down.
*ahhh thats good, an early warning (or dump)is worth a lot..when it comes to compromise..i give myself 100% too..not quite
*yet though
Posted by FUMRedFairy_tales
I believe that there is something that your core is not completely happy with. I understand your worries. I go through same myself. Even if the guy tells me he loves me forever.. I doubt every bit of it. I kill myself questioning.. what if.. but.. what if..?? I compare things with my experiences and my past. For the one I had doubts; for the one I didnt know what was going on; for the one who created havoc in my life, he wasnt worthy of my attention. There was only ONE in my entire life who I cared deeply, but proofed not worthy.
FumFuuumz, This is exactly it. It's just part of being human I suppose.
StringsAttached, No darling. It is not just you who thinks that way. Rest assured I am committed and want to be married to this woman. It's just the doubts and fear of giving your heart out on a silver platter that worries me.
*pisceseyes, I don't quite catch on to what you are saying nor do I believe your entire post was saved.
Posted by hikoro
Get what I mean?
Yup
Another thing Cajun,
Venus in Leo people are known flirters. I don't know if you engage in flirting with the opposite sex but if you do, then I don't understand the reason you feel uncomfortable with your girlfriend being very friendly to the opposite sex. I don't mean to offend you at all, but I think that one should not judge others by standards you don't have yourself.
Sure, she displays this behavior openly and in your presence whereas you are more likely to flirt when she is not around but regardless, it is still tomato tomahto.click to expand
I do enjoy flirting, but since I have been with her I stopped.
Even if I did flirt, the way I do things is extremely different to the way she would do things.
It is not tomato, tomahto at all and of course I have standards for myself.
I talk and joke, never letting the joke go far. No touching. Never when she was around.
She would touch and lead on, to the point of breaking someone. She would do this any time she saw fit.
Cajunspirit,
It is refreshing to see a young male accessing himself and being considerate of his lady-love. So many, not all, young guys today have one-track minds and are busy following- the- leader.
It is refreshing to see a young male accessing himself and being considerate of his lady-love. So many, not all, young guys today have one-track minds and are busy following- the- leader.
LibrasRule36!, thank you... I am a very odd person to most.
I agree with Libra. It is awesome that you are evaluating and examining yourself. Most men in their 30s, 40s, 50s and up dont do this. Although, they need to! Your lady is lucky. 🙂
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