Giving Advice..

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Earthy-Tones
@Earthy-Tones
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 37 · Topics: 4
Hey guys, lately i've been having a really hard time being able to give advice to people. My gut just makes me want to say things that to me sounds like advice, but to others apparently it doesnt =/. They say it comes off as being rude, or ragging on them. I always try to prove my point though, that im just trying to help them out and not trying to be negative in any way. It really hurts me to think that I am being rude to others so carelessly, when at the same time I care so much for them.

So what ways could I be able to improve on giving others advice more nicely?? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and not give anyone advice— Im sure other virgo's might have had this problem in the past, or maybe not who knows... Any feedback would be good thanks 😄
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CLCNY30
@CLCNY30
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 3561 · Topics: 85
Posted by Earthy-Tones
Hey guys, lately i've been having a really hard time being able to give advice to people. My gut just makes me want to say things that to me sounds like advice, but to others apparently it doesnt =/. They say it comes off as being rude, or ragging on them. I always try to prove my point though, that im just trying to help them out and not trying to be negative in any way. It really hurts me to think that I am being rude to others so carelessly, when at the same time I care so much for them.

So what ways could I be able to improve on giving others advice more nicely?? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and not give anyone advice— Im sure other virgo's might have had this problem in the past, or maybe not who knows... Any feedback would be good thanks 😄




a) Don't ever say something to someone else you'd not want said to you.

b) Go off someplace where no one can hear you, and recite what you want to say. Listen to it as it bounces off walls, lol, and if it sounds like something you'd want said to you (if you were in their predicament) go forth with it to said person.

c) Write it on an email. That way you can re-read it and edit should you want/need to, and THEN send it. Send it a day later if you can, so you can come back to it as many times as possible.

Profile picture of Earthy-Tones
Earthy-Tones
@Earthy-Tones
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 37 · Topics: 4
Posted by CLCNY30

a) Don't ever say something to someone else you'd not want said to you.

b) Go off someplace where no one can hear you, and recite what you want to say. Listen to it as it bounces off walls, lol, and if it sounds like something you'd want said to you (if you were in their predicament) go forth with it to said person.

c) Write it on an email. That way you can re-read it and edit should you want/need to, and THEN send it. Send it a day later if you can, so you can come back to it as many times as possible.

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Yeah i guess, but i just get too caught up in the moment to think about what i wouldnt want someone to tell me.
LOL, that second one is pretty funny.. but i dont really like talking to walls... haha.
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gemini64
@gemini64
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 4 · Posts: 1112 · Topics: 21
Posted by Earthy-Tones
Hey guys, lately i've been having a really hard time being able to give advice to people. My gut just makes me want to say things that to me sounds like advice, but to others apparently it doesnt =/. They say it comes off as being rude, or ragging on them. I always try to prove my point though, that im just trying to help them out and not trying to be negative in any way. It really hurts me to think that I am being rude to others so carelessly, when at the same time I care so much for them.

So what ways could I be able to improve on giving others advice more nicely?? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and not give anyone advice— Im sure other virgo's might have had this problem in the past, or maybe not who knows... Any feedback would be good thanks 😄



Having been on the receiving end of a Virgo man's criticism (a number of times), I can honestly tell you, no matter how you think you may be coming across, it probably still sounds like criticism to the subject of your concern.

Someone once said, do you what to be right or be happy? i have found this a very useful paradigm to live by when dealing with relationships. I am very competitive and don't like to lose, period. but there are times when being right is over rated.

Virgo's like to be of service and hope to improve those who they care about. I get this. And I have been the one getting all the "fix ups".....trust me, in as much as you (virgos) think your perspective is the most virtuous and pragmatic, to the rest of us non Virgo's, it's always true. Virgo's are not infallible. No one is infallible. We all make mistakes. We all bring helpful ideas and experiences. We all can learn something beneficial from others.

I think the key is this: don't give advice UNLESS someone asks you for your advice. In my case, I asked the person for his opinion and perspective. and despite telling me something that was a bit hurtful, I accepted it and worked hard to improve that area. I thought he could have been more tactful, but Virgo's and some men, often don't understand the meaning of that word. Virgo's usually have the thinnest skin when accepting criticism from someone else whose simply trying to help them. Ironic, don't you think?

What angered me the most about being criticized was this. I never asked for his advice/opinion in the first place. But he felt is was HIS duty