Funny Virgo

Virgo:

You are a pain in the ass. You regulate your breathing and color-coordinate the clothes in your closet. No Virgo in history has ever belched. Virgos clean every square inch of everything they own twice daily with a toothbrush. Everything has its place, and yours is on the floor scrubbing with a magnifying glass, checking for germs. Obsessive-compulsive disorder? A nice euphemism for the word "Virgo". Virgos use pointers and elaborate charts to describe philosophical concepts. You commit a lot of drive-by shootings. When you are questioned, you tell the police that it was because "the bastard had a filthy car". The police usually let you go because they are Virgos too. It is easy to freak out a Virgo. Tell them they have something between their teeth. Then watch them scrub frantically at the imaginary thing. Virgos are a hell of a lot of fun for assholes like us. Hell for a Virgo is being locked up in an elevator for eternity with a naked Aquarius. That is because in hell, Aquarians are allowed to bring beer, which they leave all over the floor. Virgos, however, have to surrender their brooms and squeegees to God. Virgos also have a hard time coping when they find out there's something under the fridge. But it's usually just a depressed Taurus. Virgos have read enough Hints from Heloise to know that the depressed Taurus can be coaxed out from under the fridge with a banana wine cooler. Virgos don't see the world in shades of black and white. They see it in shades of clean and dirty. Cat hair makes Virgos foam at the mouth. Virgos are cool because they will do your laundry for you. They'll separate everything by color and fabric until it consists of fourteen loads of three things apiece. Then they will put them in the washer in alphabetical order by name of manufacturer. Virgos are often found opening and shutting the refrigerator door, attempting to trick the light inside. Don't put cheese where it doesn't belong in a Virgo's refrigerator. He or she will go Jack Torrence on your ass. You will be stabbed with a cuticle pusher. Jack Torrence was probably a Virgo in the first half of "The Shining". After that, he went all Leo.

nah. common misconception that all Virgos are neatfreaks. and even those of us that are aren't to this degree--this is an extreme.

Okay, let me retract the word "neatfreak" from my previous statement, as that seems to be what you focused on, when that wasn't my point.

"Common misconception that all Virgos are neatfreaks. Even those of us who PREFER A CLEAN ENVIRONMENT aren't as OCD about cleanliness as the above description (and a lot of other Virgin descriptions) imply--this is an extreme."

Better?

Posted by CLCNY30
nah. common misconception that all Virgos are neatfreaks. and even those of us that are aren't to this degree--this is an extreme.

lol we KNOW it's a misconception. We poke fun at ourselves anyway. Those virgos who try to defend other virgos and get their panties in a bunch when we all know it's not true... there is some irony in that. lol

Posted by Candeh15

Posted by CLCNY30
nah. common misconception that all Virgos are neatfreaks. and even those of us that are aren't to this degree--this is an extreme.

lol we KNOW it's a misconception. We poke fun at ourselves anyway. Those virgos who try to defend other virgos and get their panties in a bunch when we all know it's not true... there is some irony in that. lol

click to expand

I made an observation--and it's not on that excerpt alone, but in lots of writings about Virgos being neat freaks. Joke or not, people actually speak about Virgos that way (I've had it asked of me by several people). I took this, and the other descriptions of the other signs in the other sections as jokes, but if I don't scream, "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" it means I'm getting my panties in a bunch?

Lol, no no. I wasn't referring to you specifically. We've had other virgos lose their shit when posts like these were made. We know how we are, individually and collectively. No, you did not have to laugh, but in the context of the whole post itself, what you did was a very virgo thing, ie the observing and mild criticism of your observations. I just always found it funny and a little ironic.

Posted by Candeh15
Lol, no no. I wasn't referring to you specifically. We've had other virgos lose their shit when posts like these were made. We know how we are, individually and collectively. No, you did not have to laugh, but in the context of the whole post itself, what you did was a very virgo thing, ie the observing and mild criticism of your observations. I just always found it funny and a little ironic.

No, I knew it was a joke (and even if it weren't, I don't let astrological descriptions describe me, as I already know I'm not a typical Virgo). No panties in a bunch over here, I smirked through it all and laughed at the Virgo cop/dirty car bit. I just made an observation, as I'm tired of people asking why I have dishes in the sink, and don't like to make my bed, "because Virgos places are usually like IKEA catalogs", THAT'S when I get my panties in a bunch, and they get cussed the f out, lmfao.

I Have Virgo rising and i think thats why i am such a perfectionist. Like.. If i cook something and accidently burn it a little. I will throw it out and start over,thank god that RARELY happens!

Posted by gemtaur
But seriously. Are you always this uptight?

who is uptight? I made an observation and a statment, you're the one going Bravehart on it. Calm the f down. Are YOU always this uptight?

Posted by gemtaur
oh lovely, sweetie, i was responding to clc, who i hope has regained his pulse lol

lol valeria that's what the air signs are for: to see the FUN in life (and have everyone hate us for it lol). i'll take it.

I'm a HER, btw, and you must be too cuz you sure are acting all sorts of bi.tchy, you still on this?

Jesus, move on. You're the one who was making a big deal about this, I was munchin on a damn kit kat while I typed what I did, relax! Have a drink! Smoke some bud! w.e. the f geminis do to calm the f down!

thetediouspath

I posted this a while back.

To be honest, CLC, no one here is really having a fit. We should all just chillax.