Hatred or hurt—

Homeboy left several threatening messages and texts on my phone. I had some of his stuff since he was holding my stuff hostage, and was refusing to give it back. Finally, I was done reasoning, handed his stuff to my roommate (his best friend) with the hopes to end things finally.

While my roomie was on his way down to his place, I texted virgo and asked him to please return my stuff so that we could move on. He told me to send someone his way on my behalf so that he could take them to teach me a lesson. At that point, even though I was angry and pissed, my friends and family reasoned that even though they were valuable things, that if I truly wanted to move on, I would let them go. So, I was planning on that.

Except, then my roomie found out that he was holding my stuff, so he went and got it. I thought that homeboy returned them on his own accord, so I thanked him via text for returning them, and for him to forget about the money that he owed me. Virgo recently got arrested for punching out a bouncer (temper) so I told him to take care of his priorities first, and if the money made it's way back to me, all the better, but that I was letting it go.

He got so verbally abusive towards me, that it shocked me. The hatred and anger that was spitting out towards me was nauseating. He told me that he was going to teach me a lesson, that I deserve "an ass whooping". I told him to come get me himself if he felt that strongly about it, that I don't live in fear. He knows where I live, work, hang out at. I'm not stopping my life. He said that I should find another place to live, because he's going to make my life a living hell. Whatever.... two can play that game, and all bs aside, I'm not the one to go stamping on.

I ended up changing my number just to avoid the texts he would send me. I never told my roommate about the threats towards me, and my car ended up being keyed. Whatever, it's a POS anyways. My parents want me to go to the police about it, since he does have a violent history, but I just want everything to go away.

I don't want anymore drama...... the situation is what it is. We tried, we failed. End of story. We work in the same industry, so we collide with mutual people. I've heard here and there about the shit he talks about me, dragging my name in the dirt. Usually, I wouldn't care, but these are people that work in the same industry as I do, and are future job opportunities. It is a small town, people talk, and it puts me on defense that people know my business, especially when it concerns something that is very personal to me. I don't want this to reflect on my work ethics, but now I feel that it is. Due to my sensativity to the issue, I feel that people are judging me based on this conflict, rather than who I am.

Talking amongst friends one night, and expressing this, a number of them told me that he's acting this way because he's hurt, and that I hurt him in some way. Did I tell him that he's out of my life in view of things, yes. That was deserved, but maybe I should of asked him why he did what he did. Maybe I shouldn't of been so harsh and just cut him out. I don't know. All I know is that I saw a situation that I was investing too much energy into based on what I knew, and I saw it being a situation where we both would end up hurting each other.

Is the hatred towards me really because he hates me— He is spending a lot of effort to drag my character down. Anybody that spends that amount of time, in my books, is someone that is destructive. In fact, those were the last words I uttered to him..... that he's too destructive for his own good. My friends said that he was holding onto my stuff as a way for me to go to him and meet him face-to-face. I was thinking about one day just stopping by his house and asking for them, but I wanted to avoid the possible power conflict that would go with it.

In my eyes, things ended up evenly, because I squared things off. Yes, I squared things off, because I had to let go of money that he owed me, and I work hard for the cash I make. I keep hearing via my roommate and mutual friends that he's gone on a downhill spiral. My first instinct is to held him and reach out, but I won;t do that knowing that this other woman has moved here to specifically be with him. My spidey senses are telling me that she is preventing us from having a line to out reach to each other, and I think that is fine. She, as his girl, is entitled to that claim, and he should honor it.

Posted by Sekhmet
Oh sweetie that's awful!!

There are some people who can't help but turn hurt into hate as a way to save face and feel like they have control.

I dealt with a violent man before, and it really is a good idea to contact the police. It's just paperwork to them, but you never know how this could end up, and the paper trail is key to protecting yourself.

Hopefully this will just die down, but if not, you'll need all the help you can get. Especially if he knows where your parents live etc. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

The whole issue has been about control. I don't care about any of that stuff..... I don't want police involved because it will screw him up in many ways. I'm the kind of person that believes that if something is coming at me, then I embrace that. If he really wanted to hurt me, then he would of already done it. I don't lead a secret life, and I'm a create of habit.

For me, this has died down...... I just don't want anybody to escalate it. That's why I haven't said anything to my roommate, because I don't want the fire to be feed. But the ambers are burning, and I need them to turn to ashes. Pronto..... his supposed girl right now keeps sending me messages via facebook, warning me to stay away from him. I haven't responded to any of them. I just want to carry on with my life, and keep doing what I'm doing, but he keeps feeding into my insecurity of trust with other people. And that is why I know he talks shit about me to anybody who will listen. Because regardless of what anyone has to say that it doesn't matter, the fact that one person has something negative to say about me will always be in the back of their minds. We all function that way, and I don't want the stigma. But approaching him about it means that I will be throwing gasoline to the fire.

I want to avoid that, because that is a position that I don't need to be in..... because I'm very destructive too, and being the one who has bowed out is a very hard stance to take.

Posted by Prince_Pisces
Get him to hit you. Then call the cops, and he'll be arrested 🙂 I hear alot of guys get their ass whooped in jail for hitting women, so there you go 🙂 LOL!!!!

He can hit me on his own accord, if he strongly feels that way. I'm not going to provoke him. Yet, if he does get in my face, this will be a different story.

I WILL take a beating, but believe me, I go down fighting. Nobody will have any type of control over me!!!!

Call the police and send that loser to jail.

The keying of the car alone, pisses me off. How terribly immature.

Posted by Cajunspirit
Call the police and send that loser to jail.

The keying of the car alone, pisses me off. How terribly immature.

I agree with Cajun M.I.A.! Please be careful and this guy doesn't deserve you or your willingness to not call the police because it will mess his life up! He should've thought of this before he started getting threatening and keying you car honey!
This is a terrible situation and I am sooo sorry you are having to go through this! What a jerk!!!! 😢

screw him.... if he gets too close for comfort, I will act accordingly. I don't want to give him any more reasons to be angry with me. He obviosuly is incapable of reasoning, or being reasonable, so I've learned from experience that it's better to leave those kinds of people alone. They are the type of people that try and bait those they can't combat face-to-face with.

I'm not going to lower my standards because of his womanizing, white trash ways. This is not how I was raised. I want him to go away, so I'm thinking about talking to the roomie about breaking the lease and I find somewhere else to live. Yes, I just moved in, but the outcome is far much better than the possibility of being in harms way.

Posted by Mars.In.Aries
screw him.... if he gets too close for comfort, I will act accordingly. I don't want to give him any more reasons to be angry with me. He obviosuly is incapable of reasoning, or being reasonable, so I've learned from experience that it's better to leave those kinds of people alone. They are the type of people that try and bait those they can't combat face-to-face with.

I'm not going to lower my standards because of his womanizing, white trash ways. This is not how I was raised. I want him to go away, so I'm thinking about talking to the roomie about breaking the lease and I find somewhere else to live. Yes, I just moved in, but the outcome is far much better than the possibility of being in harms way.

As honourable as your cause is, he's stepped FAR over the line.
I would not let him get away with that, if I were you.

i agree with stpatty. dude is on drugs and therefore, you shouldn't presume that you can handle this on your own or that his threats are idle. at the very least, you should document his ill behavior and alert those close to you of your concerns. at most, go to the police. he doesn't really suffer legally as a result of a restraining order. protect yourself. better to overreact and keep him at bay than ignore the warning signs and end up brutalized or worse...

talk to your roomy about posting a roommate ad on craigslist. i needed a roommate for a short bit and it took a couple months but i ended up with this cool indian chick who was a college student. she stayed to herself and paid on time. so you don't necessarily have to "suffer." just explore your options and make moves when the time is right.

Aahhh, I see your shit came back to you.


Funny how life works .... you send it out, low and behold, it returns back to you.



Perhaps, you should look at the moral of it .... you treat him like shit, he shits on you.


There's a lesson in here for you ... it's up to you whether you choose to find it.

Posted by P-Angel
Aahhh, I see your shit came back to you.


Funny how life works .... you send it out, low and behold, it returns back to you.



Perhaps, you should look at the moral of it .... you treat him like shit, he shits on you.


There's a lesson in here for you ... it's up to you whether you choose to find it.

Never treated him like shit...... made my stances, yes.

And you're one to talk about moral. You find dysfunctional behavior perfectly acceptable. Tsk, tsk....... being happy with somebody else's misfortune brings bad karma towards you too, right? Goes both ways, so your comments really are a reflection of you.

As honourable as your cause is, he's stepped FAR over the line.
I would not let him get away with that, if I were you.

My hands are tied...... he's angry and anything that I'll do will only provoke further hatred towards me. Some battles aren't worth picking, as the saying goes.

Mars in Aries, go you. He sounds like my ex scorpio. I stood my ground with that fucker too cause like you, I don't let people push me around. People need to be put in their place, they'll get over it.

P-Angel, where did you get THAT from? Everytime Mars in Aries post about this guy, he sounds like a hot mess. He would be scared of me by the time I'm down with him. He would turn himself in.

I don't think it matters if this stems from hatred or hurt.
He needs to learn what self control is he has no excuse for himself.

Posted by msInternationalTease
P-Angel, where did you get THAT from? Everytime Mars in Aries post about this guy, he sounds like a hot mess. He would be scared of me by the time I'm down with him. He would turn himself in.

You?

This thread isn't about you.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by msInternationalTease
P-Angel, where did you get THAT from? Everytime Mars in Aries post about this guy, he sounds like a hot mess. He would be scared of me by the time I'm down with him. He would turn himself in.

You?

This thread isn't about you.

click to expand

No shyt!

Is that cellulite you got going on around your thigs?

* thighs

why u hating p angry because no one wants to see your grand ma thighs....

Are you serious?! You pointing out the thread is not about me when I state what would I do if it had happened to me, then now you're asking about my thighs. Wow, silly indeed. LMAO Virgoking you're crazy!

OP, I hope you don't take this guy's abuse/threats lightly... by your description he sounds like a sociopath.

Peace.

Posted by Lauren89

Posted by P-Angel
Is that cellulite you got going on around your thigs?

Strategically placed insult to lower opponent's emotional strength... Interesting.

I am learning from you 😉

click to expand

Hmm not so strategic.
More along the lines of grasping for a comeback after being outwitted.
Poor little mouse my heart goes out to you —
*hands cute little pee a piece of cheese to cheer her up*

It's over and done with...... I've been living with his best friend, so I knew virgo would pop his head around eventually. The first few times I gave him the cold shoulder, wouldn't even look at him. Then one night he came up to me when I was in the kitchen and sat down at the table, waiting for me. I sensed he wanted to talk, so I broke the ice.

He's been going through some shit..... I just listened to him talk, barely said a word, and he finally broke down. He apologized for his behavior how how things went down. He didn't admit to the keying of the car, but looked at it and said that I could of scrapped against something to scratch it up like that.

We ended up talking for hours, just like we used to, but when I asked him why he did what he did, he didn't have an answer. Just said that he fucked up and that things have been rough for him. Apparently it's official between him and the soccer mom. I heard via, via, via.... yet when I asked him if it's true, he said that if anything was to be official, it would of been that he and I would still be in each others lives. I told him that he messed that one up. He asked if we could still be friends, and I said no. I told him that I was done with him, that I cherish the phenominal times we had. But for whatever reason, things messed up, and in light of how dramatic and drastic things went, he proved that he was not a solid person.

The next night, he brought over one of the girls he used to mess around with when we were friends. When we were alone, I asked why he would bring her over and why he would still be messing around with her after soccer mom and him were official and that she moved down here to be with him. He said that he wanted to show me that he had nothing to hide from me. I ended up staying in my room after that, because I don't agree to his behavior.

I've decided to move out of the house at the end of this month so that there no longer will be an opportunity for him to enter my life. My number has been changed, I'm moving out, I'll probably never talk to my roomie again, all so that I can stay away from him.

He's seeking my help, but I'm not going there with him. It's just another way for him to try and manipulate. Through his anger, like a little boy, he threw his toy on the ground because of his tantrum. Now he is begining to realize that the toy is broken, and he can't play with it anymore.

I've done it myself many times. Yet another mirror that was placed infront of me.

Posted by Lauren89

Posted by P-Angel
Is that cellulite you got going on around your thigs?

Strategically placed insult to lower opponent's emotional strength... Interesting.

I am learning from you 😉

click to expand

Indubitably ... unfortunately, only a small fraction has any awareness of it, and think they are random insults. In fact, the majority of most people world-wide are incapable of forming any kind of opinion that differs from the prejudices of thier social invironment.


In layman's terms ..... most things I say fly over top of everybody's head, for they can only rationalize in terms of how it affects them subjectively, and cannot comprehend the meaning from a broader viewpoint.


Like this for example .. she thought I was talking about her thighs ..... lol

*** invironment


lol, now that is funny considering what I was suggesting above