heartbroken...

quick and dirty version of the story... though i have a feeling this is going to be a long op anyways

so it's been several months of casually dating/seeing this virgo and we both have had instincts about each others feelings, but for whatever our reasons were for not coming confessing feelings, we have stuck around... even so much as confessed loyalties despite not technically owing it to one another. we've teased each other, yanked each other's chains, busted each other's balls. he's played little games to feel me out and fish for emotions from me. i've snapped at him for it. he's played it off and pulled me back to him only to do the whole dance again.

we both have always had intuition that there's more, but neither of us has had the balls to do anything about it. we've both played the hot and cold game and both have struggled to tolerate it. Anytime we've ever called one another out on some real feeling... the other one of us will just smile and get quiet.

almost cute, tense, nearly doomed, crummy situation, eh? i feel like a wuss... i admit.

i get a random text from him today saying in sum... he wants to stop seeing me. he claims he's only now starting to have feelings (but i really think that's bullshit, i think he's had them at least as long as i have), doesn't want to get hurt or played. still wants to be cool. still loves me a lot, BUT can't handle the 'halfway' stuff anymore. loves spending time with me, but cant deal.

where he got the idea that i'm a player? i havent the slightest clue. clearly he's insecure. i'm the farthest thing from a player.

part of me feels like this is just another of his insane ways of forcing my hand to show some emotion, but this is definitely an extreme for him. part of me feels like i should respect his decision. then again another part of me feels like i should go with my gut, take the reins for once and hope for the best... even with the risk of being shot down and having my heart stomped into a mess of squishy bloody heart mud.

i want to ask a million questions, but i know the only answers i'm going to care about are the answers from him.

i'm completely undecided as to what i should do. fml 😢

i guess i just wanted a sound board. thanks for reading. i will most definitely read over input, if you have any to give.

ugggggggghhhhh whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

verbal slap please

well... you've already made me feel better. 🙂 thank you and thanks for the honesty too.

So how come you don't just tell him to go out with you? Do you both not want a relationship?

Tell him you love him, but that you're afraid. This accomplishes several things. Honesty, clearing the air, and vulnerability. We Earthy babies need to realize that to get, we must give. Two stubborn asses is just stale. Make the first move. I wouldn't want you to close the door on that and lose it forever. 😢
And I brought chocolate chip cookies and HUGS.

Call his bluff and tell him you were thinking the same thing. He wants to see how desperate you are.

Awww, He got creep by ur pants. 😄 Give him some time to analyzed things out. I'm sure that fool would comeback, I'm 97.9% sure about it. 😛 The other 2.1% a little insurance just in case something happens in a few weeks. 😄

I agree with venusianbull and think you should go for it! Let him know how you feel and that you don't want to do the halfway stuff anymore as well. If he really has feelings then he will process all of this and come back. Sometimes we must take a risk to get what we really want! Good luck and hugs! 🙂

i get a random text from him today saying in sum... he wants to stop seeing me. he claims he's only now starting to have feelings (but i really think that's bullshit, i think he's had them at least as long as i have), doesn't want to get hurt or played. still wants to be cool. still loves me a lot, BUT can't handle the 'halfway' stuff anymore. loves spending time with me, but cant deal.

Isn't it frustrating (beyond belief) when someone tells you how they feel, but yet ... they don't want to be with you anymore ... because of how "strongly" they feel for you :/

And the reason they usually give is, "Its not you, its me" or "I don't want you to hurt me let others have ..." and blah, blah, blah *rolls eyes twice*

I'm not sure what I say except the fact that, I am sad that this happened to you 😢 😢 You really liked this guy.

Seriously, I don't think things are over between you two, but the stupid ass game he's playing is sooooo not cute nor is cool.

That's the thing with some people, they think in order to keep you interested or at least tied to them in someway, they have to dig at your brains a bit.

I don't like stuff like that.

im so sorry to hear that this guy is a loser he's not a real virgo if he was he would had follow you to the end of earth to claim you as his according to linda goodman that is lmfao.


but if someone really loves you not the verb word one but action love they would never leave your side.

good luck.

You wanted him to take the lead?
You expected him to be the man and do all the work?
You don't reciprocate expressions and don't talk about your feelings yet expect him to?

Do you know anything about Virgo men?

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo


...if he was he would had follow you to the end of earth to claim you as his according to linda goodman that is lmfao.

If you think about it. Thats creepy. A virgo guy in love with you but you aren't in love with him. He stalks you everywhere...

Thanks a bunch Linda.

thanks for the encouragement all. he's definitely challenged my feelings and i'm definitely going to rise to the challenge. i've never been one to live in regret with matters of the heart.

this indirect challenging stuff isnt out of character with him, but i really wasnt expecting it to happen with this intensity. i honestly dont know what i was expecting... perhaps, him moving on to someone else and me the same, though in reality neither of us, me for sure, was willing to give anyone else half a chance so long as we had each other.

virgodreamz, i think i will. in his own way, he's called me out.
venusianbull, i agree... honesty is the only way. enough of the games. and how'd you know chocolate chip cookies AND hugs were my fave 😄 ((((hugs))))
GeorgiaPeach, we both know the other isnt desperate. i think he and i are well beyond that question, but i am calling his bluff. i think there's truth that he's scared and perhaps he's done a similar thing of backing off in the past, but i'm not gonna let him do it without a fight.
crazydiamond, yea i realize that. he has made himself vulnerable and in the same breathe broken his own heart... i guess... silly. you are very right though... there's something sweet about it.
Beergo, I think he would too, but he's kicked me in the creepypants... i'm done waiting for something to happen. i want him and im gonna try.
StPatricks, yes... i have nothing to lose! by the way... hot profile pic! gawd!
cappysweetie, thank gawd you're sweet self is back on the boards! we had a short exchange last night and he replied to me like a guy who's having an insecure moment and looking for reassurance.
LV, this is true and in his defense, I've pushed him away before in my own moments of insecurity, and he's pulled me right back to him. i can do the same for him.
cajunspirit, not sure i exactly let on that i thought that way about him, BUT i did ask for a verbal slap and you have delivered 🙂 i admit, i am used to going for the guy who is persistent and shows his feelings and blah blah blah... really, guy or girl, who wouldnt want that? in this case, i see the value of him forcing me to confront my feelings and step up to them myself AND express them to him. if this is what he's after... he's getting what he wants. if he really wants to stop, well.. i'm just gonna double check on that even if it means my heart breaking rejection... uuugh.

Posted by CreepyPants

cajunspirit, not sure i exactly let on that i thought that way about him, BUT i did ask for a verbal slap and you have delivered 🙂 i admit, i am used to going for the guy who is persistent and shows his feelings and blah blah blah... really, guy or girl, who wouldnt want that? in this case, i see the value of him forcing me to confront my feelings and step up to them myself AND express them to him. if this is what he's after... he's getting what he wants. if he really wants to stop, well.. i'm just gonna double check on that even if it means my heart breaking rejection... uuugh.

If it's one way to get me to become frustrated with you, it's to with hold information or not admit to your feelings/attraction to me. Seems like it's all over already.

You can probably throw a Hail Mary, and just outright tell him how you felt, feel now and what you want, but that would be out of character for you it seems.

If it's one way to get me to become frustrated with you, it's to with hold information or not admit to your feelings/attraction to me. Seems like it's all over already.

You can probably throw a Hail Mary, and just outright tell him how you felt, feel now and what you want, but that would be out of character for you it seems.

He's withheld feelings up until last night so he's done the same. He can be frustrated but owes me as much forgiveness in this as i do to him. I've already asked him to have that convo with me and he's agreed. Over already? It's quite possible. I don't rule that out. My instinct tells me otherwise, and either way I will give it a shot. I may scare him off completely because my true character is one who puts it all out there on the table. I'm usually pretty aggressive. It has been VERY difficult for me to keep a lid on my feelings. It's a side of me he doesn't know and may not be ready for. I'm gonna have to try to temper that.

Things with him have been different for a number of reasons, most of which have little to do with who he is or my feelings for him. Just life situations. Basically I haven't been ready to date, and yet unfairly to he and I... I have anyway and haven't given this the chance it deserved. He knew all of this at the beginning and he too had claimed he wasn't ready to date either. Yet we both did.

Scared out of my mind, but it's a matter of truth... shouldn't be scared of the truth.

i've made myself vulnerable to him a few times to much lesser degrees before, but this time I guess my heart will be splayed out and ready for the killing.
vulnerability is magical... somehow there is peace in it. perhaps a weight being lifted. i'm kinda looking forward to it.

Creepypants !!!!!!!!!!!!!


Once a male Virgo has staked his claim (mate), he then bows to her and awaits direction ... just take him.

Hey P-Angel! !!!!!!!

"... just take him."

Hey, I'm gonna try. If all goes according to plan... It'll be caveman role reversal status

...if all goes according to plan.

😄 Get him lady.

wgamador

His venus is in leo I believe, and i think he still wants me to surrender myself. Namely because he's said it a few times... in a joking way, but he has a way of saying things in a joke that I think he really means. He was the first to make a move and I really thought he was just fooling around... as in joking, just being playful, just wanted to be friendly, and wanted to mess around. I didnt think of it as anything more. Probably pretty naive of me, but the guy intimidates me. He really does. I've always thought, surely he's not serious about me. Therein lies my insecurities. And I know for a fact that he doesnt realize it. So many occassions it's seemed like he was trying to prove himself to me. We had been friends before and I had never made a friend to lover transition like that. I reeeally thought it was a one time thing. At least a temporary thing. But now looking back to before he and I started seeing each other... all of the funny little things he did make way more sense now. Eventually I began to look at him differently and in a new light... my feelings started to grow. I realized I was in trouble, because once I have feelings for someone, there's really no going back for me. However, I honestly think my initial nonchalance, in other words my sheer ignorance, made him feel insecure and that's sort of how the whole hot and cold thing started.

But I give the guy a lot of credit for hanging by me as I have with him, through all the stupid insecurities. I think the biggest reason why we've waited all of this out without ever confessing our feelings is because we both know how the other feels. He can sense me, I can sense him. He calls me out on my feelings all the time just like I do to him, but neither of us ever confirm. We just smile at each other. We wear our feelings in our expressions, our shyness, our fear of being vulnerable to one another. We at least have that and our hope that what we think we're sensing means something more. We have these physical moments, and I'm not even talking about sex, that are really tender. We stumble into them and wake up out of them. And we dont say a word. It's strange, but sweet. Still... we're not dumb. He realizes things need to be said. He's pushing me to say it. I've been wanting to say how I feel.

Since he sort of 'pushed' me away like that as I wrote in the op, I've been trying to get him to set aside a time to really talk so I can let him know how I feel. The stunt he pulled really seems to me like he did it to see how I'd react. His move was a little immature, but also clever. He's accomplished a few things in one fell swoop with what he did... 1.) He get's to see how I react. If I feel anything for him, I'll object to breaking things off and he'll learn that I do have feelings. If I dont object then 2.) He saves himself from rejection and he'll know that I didnt feel enough for him.

He wants to hear me out. He's open to it. I've asked him a couple of times. I'm pretty nervous and am sort of forcing myself to just make it happen. I can tell he's nervous too. He's agreeing to talk, but he's not naming a day or time yet. At least I hope that's why. :\ After as long as we've been dating and NOT speaking our feelings... I think we've stupidly built up the event so much that we're both shy about it all now.

And of course, I realize I could be completely OFF on all of this, but given everything that's happened up until this point, given the fact that all of my assumptions about him have been RIGHT so far, given that all of my worries/concerns/insecurities have remained right where they belong in my imagination, given that he's never given me a good reason to doubt him... EVER ...I'm gonna continue to read between the lines and take the risk.

And by the way thanks for sharing that wgamador... he really does have his insecure moments. but so far he's not done anything harmful. the most that's ever come of our insecurities is a conversation cut short by him, or some verbal retaliation by me and momentary distance, but we always come back to each other sort of hoping for forgiveness or readily giving it.


...

ummm, reading back on all of this... he and i sound damned hopeless. lol