Help w/ Virgo Woman

Okay guys, this is my first post - been reading a lot on this site and just figured I'd ask the masters: Let me give you a run down of my situation here.

I am a 24 year old male, in college, and a father of 2 beautiful sons. I am a Cancer. The mother of my children and I parted ways, officially about 4 months ago - she moved to another state to go to a better college, and took the children with her. She is a scorpio (sigh). So, I've had a rough time in the past few months of my life, dealing with the changes of my kids leaving, my relationship crumbling and all that comes with it. So, this is my fourth semester at my college and I noticed on the first day of class there was a girl that I had previously had classes with. She came and sat near me and noticed that I had cut my hair (I had long hair, it's short and well kempt now). So, through the course of the semester so far we have SLOWLY (and I mean slowly) begun to contact eachother. I got her number, texted on and off for about a week and finally (it just seemed like the day it was going to happen) went and had lunch with her. I"m not a very picky eater (although secretly I kid of am) and told her to pick. Well, she picked Chinese - I was thinking internally "Score!! That's my favorite".

So, we end up at the Chinese place, we're making light conversation - waiter brings us our food and at the EXACT same time (I'm talking EXACT same time) we both begin to ask the waiter for Chopsticks - we kinda just caught eachothers eyes and both laughed somewhat nervously. I noticed instantly - that was a good sign. So, we talked and talked - our religious views are the same, our political views are the same - and even on our first "date" (I don't even know if this WAS date!) we were finishing eachother's sentences, and had SO very much in common. (I had to be the quintessential Cancer, but on the first date I felt like I had more in common with this girl than I do w/ some of my life-long friends). It just flowed, so naturally. Immediately I saw the "glow" about her personality.

So a week or two went by, we had idle conversation in class (she is VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY distant outside of class - it throws me for a loop cause I don't know if she likes me or if she thinks I"m a weirdo or whatever). So eventually, on a Tuesday (same day as the first date - I read that Virgos like to weave you into their life so maybe Tuesday is my day! haha) she invites me over to help her with "math homework." I get there and w

we start talking - I help her w/ some homework but she OBVIOUSLY didn't need it. We just sat outside talking, for literally 10 hours. I sware, EVERYTHING we talked about - we both agreed and had in common. It immediately caught my attention - honestly I don't think I've ever met a person I am that compatible with - even my boys. She ended up cooking me dinner, and wouldn't even let me help her clean up when I offered like 3 or 4 times. (I'm big on home - I know how to run one). And that was it. I eventually left. I didn't hug her or ANYTHING. I don't even know how to approach it with this girl.

I have two young sons. I have no problem taking things slow, as I realize that is a LOT of baggage for someone else to deal with, and have to be absolutely sure that I don't bring people in and out of their lives. My problem here is, I can DEFINITELY see something here. She mentioned multiple times that she just wants to build a life, have kids, be a wife and have a loving family - which totally caught my attention.

Only problem here is her distance. I don't know how to read it at all. I would LOVE to just be able to ask her straight up "I like you. Do you like me?" But I would hate to lose this person, even as a friend. What do you guys think? Love? Lust? Nothing? Am I a creeper? 🙂 Thanks.

Aaaaand here's MY info

Rising Sign is in 10 Degrees Scorpio
Sun is in 25 Degrees Cancer
Moon is in 08 Degrees Virgo.
Mercury is in 08 Degrees Cancer.
Venus is in 16 Degrees Gemini
Mars is in 01 Degrees Aries
Jupiter is in 29 Degrees Taurus
Saturn is in 27 Degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 08 Degrees Capricorn
Pluto is in 09 Degrees Scorpio
N. Node is in 15 Degrees Pisces

so just straight up say "I like you" ?

Virgo women dislike wasting our breath, our time, our energy, on anyone not deemed worthy of it. Virgo gals are NOT forward or aggressive, nor do we like to show too much interest for fear of getting hurt or humiliated. We plan everything in our minds, and we prefer revealing our emotions slowly. If we are forced to display them too early, we retract them, and it beings the worst out of us.

Signs she is interested:

1. She talked to you first. (she noticed your haircut). Now I may talk to a guy first and not be interested, but following it up with everything else below....
2. She texted you back. (she could have ignored it and then when she saw you, just said she was busy)
3. She was willing to have dinner with you. (that is a couple of hrs out of her life she'll never get back)
4. She made the move to invite you over to help her with her homework she didn't need. (wow!)
5. She told you not once, but multiple times, she is interested in being a wife and having a family one day (MAJOR sign of interest though)

She doesn't sound like a Virgo, but like a fire sign in this way. But anyway, does she know you have two kids? This is the time to tell her. She needs to know she will have a ready made family. But most importantly, do you feel the same way she does?

She is distant because that is how she keeps herself safe. After exposing herself to you and being vulnerable, she has to wear her shield again. It is a natural Virgoan shield that is just a part of our demeanor. No offense. Underneath are currents of emotion sloshing back and forth, which would shock you if you really wanted to see (but you won't). Heh heh.

Honesty about your family situation (without the baggage). As you get to know her better, more can be told.

Don't dump all your emotions on her and get too emotionally needy and aggressive. She won't know what to do. We virgos don't like messy feelings. Show her your warmth and give her encouragement. But emotionally reveal yourself layer by layer, in small doses, only when she is inviting you to do so and she shows you she is ready for the next level. Little steps. This way she can take it home and analyze it in 10 ways, and have her own feelings and yours make sense in her rational mind.

Good luck!

She just showed you she likes you and sees you as a potential candidate for her future! Tell her you want to have a family too and love spending time with her and want to get to know her better!

Action! Yes, tell her you like her, but show it too with your warm eyes, attention to detail (we love that) and oer gestures of romance without being over the top or pushy or aggressive. Also, don't blow up her phone or always be hovering around her. Virgos need men to be a bit mysterious too. We need space + attention + space + attention!

Yeah - it is fire sign-esque. It's just that I think she envies the kind of household she was brought up in, and feels a lot of pressure or desire to have that "perfect" life her parents have. She knows I have two children, and I mean - it hasn't seemed to bother her, IDK. I've never in my life met a girl like this - I can always tell instantly (I'm a cancer and extremely intuitive) if a girl is into me or not - but this one just throws that whole game out the window. I want to let her know that I like her - because I see a lot of potential in who she is as a person, and who I am as a person. I am just so nervous of getting the whole "Oh, we're just friends" and then we never talk again situation. I have learned women want to have their own sense of freedom and kinda like to have the reigns when it comes to which guy they decide is "worthy" enough. Is this something I tell her in person? Over the phone? I'm big on eye to eye contact, because it can reveal truth or lies instantly. I know that they hide their emotions, but on our first get together I saw it in her. We were talking about music, and I showed her a song that I wrote - I'm a creative person and have a LOT of soul in my music - it's how I express the passion inside of me, when words won't do it. I saw a tear from her. It was..special. 🙂. I'm bad about blowing up phones cause i just like to talk - I'm a socially inclined person and can have eloquent conversations with just about anybody. I don't want to scare her off ... that's my number one thing.

From a broken crab, much love to you all 🙂

She cooked you dinner? Insisted on cleaning up? She is showing you she is good at domestics and can make a superb wife and partner.

Give her that hug next time. Also, plan something romantic for a date, and hold her hand gently, see how that goes. Baby steps.

When is she distant with you? When she is one on one alone with you or what? I don't understand. Is she cold when you two are alone together?

Yes, I thought it was AMAZING she cooked me dinner and absolutely refused to let me help her clean. She knows I am a good candidate for a LONG relationship, and was probably trying to show me that. She's distant when we're not together. Basically, unless I'm seeing her that day - won't even text back. It's just kinda like...."Ooooookkkkkkkkk............."

Tell her in person yes, but show her, thru dates, thru romantic gestures. If she had a tear from hearing your poem, then she is a not afraid to show her emotions. Good sign.

You can write it in poetry just for her and read it to her. Then see how she reacts. If she reacts positively, hold her hand and kiss it. I am serious. Or go for a kiss on her lips. Why not? Her reaction to you will indicate if she feels any chemistry with you. There is no other way of knowing. A lot of guys get friend zoned due to lack of initiative. I am not saying being aggressive. I met a Cancer guy, I went up to him and spoke to him first. Then later he got all grabby and aggressive. I recoiled immediately. So take your time, but show you want her as a girlfriend every time. It is a fine balance. I don't know how to explain it! I should make a YouTube video of it, haha.

Your moon in Virgo is promising for a relationship with a sun in Virgo, btw.

I've studied Zodiac my whole life, but don't really understand how the Moon affects my personality. Can you elaborate on your Moon virgo / sun virgo compatibility statement?

If she feels chemistry, having no contact with her only INCREASES it. So don't worry about that. The distance is good for you. Because if you talk to her constantly, I assure you, her interest will die down. Date her for a while and see what happens. You have to make sure she is interested in the you that you really are, and vice versa. Don't ask her to be your exclusive girlfriend yet. Spend time with her, but give her space in between.

A virgo's idea of no contact is distance to you Cancers. It is not distance, it is just her time to analyze everything that is happening and her feelings, she has to reconcile her discerning mind with her strong feelings for you. Until the twain meet, she will need this time.

This is she doing during the time she is in no contact...plus a bunch of other things she is busy with.

That makes sense, although it's not how Cancers operate at all. We take everything so personally 🙂. It's hard though! I just wanna spend my time with her and get to know her - being reserved is really hard for something you feel passionate about, which is why people either cling to cancers or run from them. Extremely passionate - thanks for your help. Really helps me to understand where she's coming from. I guess I'll know if I'm supposed to know 🙂

Don't contact her unless you are asking to see her or out for a date. There has to be a purpose to your contact. Virgos want consequences for their efforts. We dislike frivolity. I had a nice dinner date with a guy who afterwards texted me some random thoughts. I completely ignored it because it had nothing to do with the date or any future dates.

If you are really serious about her and it is a risk all guys have to take when you are looking for Ms Right, you have to have a certain level of confidence, especially with Virgals. She may or may not end up as the one. But for now, she is very interested. Don't text....phone her and speak to her. This shows seriousness. Because it sounds like she wants a serious relationship. So call only when you have made plans and are inviting her out. Nothing impresses a Virgo more than a man with a plan. It doesn't have to be expensive. It can even be a stroll thru the park and then you give her a bouquet of flowers with your poem tied to it in a pretty string. It is the thought and effort that counts.

http://www.alwaysastrology.com/virgo-moon.html

Wow. Good advice there. LOL just ignored his thoughts eh? Weird, I don't do that at all. I guess that's how some people operate though - I've read a lot about how virgos need to have a purpose in EVERYTHING they do, or it isn't worth their time. Guess it's time to step up my game. My Rising is Scorpio - so I can put off a very intense, confident and mysterious vibe to people at all times. Maybe that'll help me here!

Use your imagination creatively on your dates. Nothing crazy or wild. Just tasteful, classy, romantic, and sweet. Channel your passion into hourndates, not into your text messages.

Yes, that cancer was exploding with passion on me and I was backing off and running for my life! He called me repeatedly even after I told him I was not interested.

See, I want to avoid that. I can't handle that kind of let down - not at this person in my life. I'm coming off a relationship with my sons' mother who was a Scorpio, and God knows I took enough punishment in that one 😉

I meant "channeling your passion into planning your dates"

My uncle actually made me an entire book about MY SPECIFIC astrological chart - I'm re-reading it today and finding more insight. Apparently, I'm lucky to have Venus in my 7th house, because it means that I have been promised a happy relationship with a very attactive, loving and pleasing person. Go me. Although - I must say my ex was GORGEOUS. Gonna be hard to top that one 😉

I don't see how you can be let down after she showed you she is interested, unless you let go of control and go nuts! Yes, do the Scorpio thing, let your eyes reveal your passion but be in control.

She might be a wild Virgo but we don't know so it is best to temper the excitement and spread it out into small dosages to avoid painful consequences for yourself.

How fun and exciting! FYI, i think I am much more reserved than your gal is,.,,the most forward thing I have done lately is to email a guy and tell him i'd enjoy chatting with him again. And I tossed and turned for a dozen nights before I could send it off. I agonized over it and blasted myself for being aggressive! Yes, pretty strange!

It's not that i'm disheartened - I have just never been interested in somebody that wasn't INSTANTLY all over me. Not to say that I have some swag, or that my game is that good - or whatever. Just a lot of girls are either attracted to me, or not. I mean - it's hard to tell with this one. I guess SIGNS point to yes? LOL 🙂. Why did it worry you so much to show this guy you were interested? Are you ladies as scared of rejection as we Cancers are?

Yes, we are terrified of being humiliated. Humiliation = rejection.

Are you more passive, sort of wait and see what the girl will do? Because as far as a Virgo is concerned, she has done her lion's share of letting you know. But you don't have to repay it with a full blown hose down of passion and declarations of love. Just let her know you are interested in a romantic , sincere, and meaningful way. Don't pour out all the treats of the entire bag. Take a few out at time. Spoon feed. This prevents all sorts of calamities you are worried about.

I am never reserved. I wait til I see ONE sign and pounce. I'm infamous for getting in the bed fairly quickly. But, with the recent changes in my life - my personality has really taken the Cancerian reserve. Maybe I actually like her? This could explain my timidness. Unfortunately, I do know she talks to this other guy - and hangs out with him. Might even like him. That could explain EVERYTHING...i.e. she's interested in him, and not me. To be honest I am terrified of rejection with this girl, and have never really been that way.

To rephrase, I never APPEAR reserved. Scorpio. I appear intense, and can sometimes be overwhelming. On the inside, however, I'm always nervous. Should have specified.

She is attracted to you. That I am sure of unless she is a player and is deceiving you and has a bf on the side. Do you think that's her?

To give you some perspective, I would only do half of what she did if I was totally into the guy. Half. That tells you something I hope. But that's me. I am like you, I wait for all the right cues from the guy. That is why most of my relationships were with men who took the initiative and did the chasing. I am not used to initiating.

That email I sent was to a Pisces guy. Because he didn't ask me out again and I was desperate to see him, at all costs, even to my Virgoan dignity! He did ask me after that but I think it was due to his kindness, didn't want to let me down. But I never contacted him again. Don't want to pressure him. He isn't the passive type either.

It is too soon to know if she is interested in him more than you. I think she likes you too. It is up to you if you want to take the risk of rejection by asking her out again. That is why it is wise to tread slowly anyway, instead of developing strong feelings privately on your own. Believe me, I do the same.

Hmmm...I've heard that Pisces and Cancers are supposed to be wonderful matches, but I just don't see it. Pisces can be rough if they're not overwhelmed with you. They live so far up in the clouds that they can't see ANYTHING that's going on down here. I do not think that she is a player...I think that she had something else going on in her life before I got here, which is perfectly okay, because I'm here now - it's my turn 🙂. I told her that she had a glow about her, and it took her back. She just smiled a HUGE smile at me and said that one other person has told her that in her life (I think it was her ex that she was really in love with...just the impression I got.) Told her that I see people transparently, and have immediate (and often accurate) impressions of people, and that she was just glowing. Her personality brightened up the room, and I just wanted to be a part of it. She said thanks smiled and looked away. I immediately changed the topic, but the damage was done 😉.

As far as your pisces situation, there was a Pisces that I knew throughout highschool and early into my 20s. Thought it was the only girl that "knew who I was." I think I was just taking part in their whimsical dream state. Gotta be really careful with them. They are lovers for sure. But they have tendencies to make EVERYONE feel special - it's hard to discern what's genuine and what's "just being nice."

Well, keep us posted!

THAT is my problem. I mean I'm sitting here talking on a message board about her for Christ's sake. I am on the verge of being infatuated - and the problem is, for my little crab self - I HAVE to know which direction I need to take. Whether it's going to be an opportunity to open up, or time to run in the shell. Tough as a crab 😉

Thanks again 🙂

"their whimsical dream state"

Yikes. Yes, I think that was what I was to him. Then he spent time with me and I didn't match his dream. It hurt a lot because we had a lot in common and I could talk to him forever....but I am over it now.

thanks for the insight on Pisces.

I don't know much about cancers, except from that one experience. But you aren't the only one who develops infatuation. All people do that in all signs. Even virgos.

She could be doing that with you for all we know. If I have chemistry with a guy, I do it. Now....Either you or she needs to take the risk and potentially get hurt, or potentially get something great in return. Romantic love is a risk. It is for the brave and strong! That shell will be there.. You can go back to you when it's all over, IF it is. Only if! but I know it is easier said than done.

You're welcome!

LOL I got the best shell, tried and true 🙂. No problem - you've helped me a lot I want to do the same. Pisces can be awesome, but it's so hard (especially for you as an earth sign) to have that down home - closely grounded relationship you strive for. Not that Pisces CAN'T, and they're actually a decent match for you - just takes finding common ground, which sadly enough most people can't (regardless of their sign).

I would love for her to be thinking about me - who knows...maybe she is. What is a good number of dates before I make a move? I'm thinking the next time I see her I'm definitely gonna hug her and try to sit closer to her. How long should I wait - and how long is too long. Or, do I just man up and when that situation happens - regardless of when it is - I seize it 🙂

Well, we virgos have our towers with no stairs! Just kidding. We do our hiding too.

Since I can't see her and read her reaction, I can only advise this:

Give her a hug and see her reaction. Is she leaning toward you? Is she smiling after the hug? Did she seem to be glad you did it? Take advantage of your watery intuition on this one!

Sitting closer to her is the same. Watch her reaction. Is she turning to face you and mirroring your movements? Or she is leaning back or scooting farther away a bit?

I wouldn't go for the kiss until you see favorable pro-you signs.

I wouldn't go for the kiss until you hold her hand.

I wouldn't hold her hand till the hug thing and sitting closer thing are confirmed to work.

This is what I mean by baby steps. It protects you and her, as both Cancer and Virgos are sensitive to rejection.

I need to write a book on wooing Virgals!

Yes, you should hug next time. That Pisces guy hugged me at the end of our first date. Hugs are totally innocent. So she can't take it the wrong way. The grabby Crabby and I weren't even on a date. I hardly knew him when he pounced so hence my recoiling reaction, which is not the case with yours at all.

Thanks for your Pisces info. You're giving me a lot of Cancer info too so I will store that away for future application! 🙂

I used to attract a lot of air signs but in the past few years it has been watery ones, including friendships with women. Especially Scorpio women. They like to establish friendship very quickly and the Virgo in me sort of goes "whoa" but Scorpios and I get along great.. I don't know any Pisces or Cancer women except the ones I run into here online. My other female friends are libra and geminis. And I have one Pisces male friend I am pretty close to. He mainly contacts me to confide his problems to. He liked me in the past but you are absolutely right about the cozy stability a Virgo needs.

Did your ex being a Scorpio have anything to do with the problems you were having?

Wow, um, probably. There's a lot of ... LOT of bad history between her and I. Although I learned to forgive her, and move on for the betterment of our family, I have never forgotten. There's a coldness to a Scorpio that can be rough for people. They can be the MOST passionate and loving people in the Zodiac, but if you cross them, they are absolutely VICIOUS. I think that she was placed in my life for the reason of giving me my children, and helping to craft me into a better person - but beyond that, I can't see anything but heartache from that situation. Cancer and Scorpio are supposed to have a strong relationship, if trust can be formed - but at this point, I don't see it. There was definitely fiery passion between us - but like all relationships go, I clung - and she retracted. We just had issues that needed to be sifted through before our children came into play, and once that happened - it was pretty much doomed from the start. She'll always hold a special place in my heart, however.

I think I will try that with my Virgal. I just have to know now! Maybe she's just waiting for me to make a move - that would make life so much easier 🙂

Glad you survived that relationship! I don't know any Scorpio men and never dated them but I have heard a lot about them. They do seem to have volcanic eruptions. I can see it in my female friends. One of them is actually downright scary, the other two are very kind, but all seem to have a vindictive side to them if they feel sufficiently wronged.

But the scary one I didn't even want to be friends with her at first but saw her at work a lot. After a while I got to understand her better and her bad childhood, so her tough ways I can see is just an armor. She always seeks me out to chat and gives me books to read, but can be abrasive and not even be aware of it. She hates weakness. We are definitely not that close. With my other Scorpio friends we are much much closer as they are compassionate and aren't afraid to show it.

There was another one I know who wanted to be friends but she is way too tree trunked up for me. She was twisted in the head and I turned her down so many times when she wanted to get together (who else is going to dissect and analyze her problems for her) before she finally gave up. So we are just acqaintance now, which is exactly where I want her.

Since you have had experiences already with both water signs, yes, try a more grounded earth sign. Virgos want stability with the right one. We are romantics at heart but we also want security and commitment. We don't want to be smothered, but we want you to be there for us, and reliable, because we are.

Remember, also, the way to a virgo's heart, at least to this one, is thru the mind. Mental stimulation and connection,....it is like chocolate cake.

🙂. We definitely have that mental connection already - I've seen it and I know she has. I'm thinking of the best way to ask her the personal info of her birth time and stuff so I can pop her into a Zodiac chart. I know she's into Zodiac stuff, so maybe I'll bring it up the next time I see her and we can make a fun adventure out of it. I already know she plans to see me again - she went to a show on thursday (her home is only like 45 mins away from the school - so she goes home every weekend). I texted her that next day and asked her how was the show, and that I wanted to know all about it - she said she'd tell me everything when she came back into town. So I know she plans to see me again. You'd think, however, if she was that into me we would talk more! That's what throws me off.

As far as my ex-Scorpio, it's unfortunate that everything I read about it says this is a pair made from the stars. I guess we just couldn't ever get it right. At least I got two kids out of the deal.

My best friends tend to be air signs. I have two Libra women I'm really close to (we can talk about ANYTHING) but there's never been any romantic attraction there...(at least on my part). My guy friends tend to be Earth / Water and the people I play music with are Air signs, so who knows. Warning for you - if you ever get involved with a Scorpio - the relationship is fine if they are yelling at you and screaming in your face. When they stop, is when danger is there. And when I say stop - I mean 100% DONE. Absolutely no communication at all, whatsoever, as if you never meant anything to them AT ALL.

Be careful with stingers.

Posted by zosopage17
Yeah - it is fire sign-esque. It's just that I think she envies the kind of household she was brought up in, and feels a lot of pressure or desire to have that "perfect" life her parents have. She knows I have two children, and I mean - it hasn't seemed to bother her, IDK. I've never in my life met a girl like this - I can always tell instantly (I'm a cancer and extremely intuitive) if a girl is into me or not - but this one just throws that whole game out the window. I want to let her know that I like her - because I see a lot of potential in who she is as a person, and who I am as a person. I am just so nervous of getting the whole "Oh, we're just friends" and then we never talk again situation. I have learned women want to have their own sense of freedom and kinda like to have the reigns when it comes to which guy they decide is "worthy" enough. Is this something I tell her in person? Over the phone? I'm big on eye to eye contact, because it can reveal truth or lies instantly. I know that they hide their emotions, but on our first get together I saw it in her. We were talking about music, and I showed her a song that I wrote - I'm a creative person and have a LOT of soul in my music - it's how I express the passion inside of me, when words won't do it. I saw a tear from her. It was..special. 🙂. I'm bad about blowing up phones cause i just like to talk - I'm a socially inclined person and can have eloquent conversations with just about anybody. I don't want to scare her off ... that's my number one thing.

From a broken crab, much love to you all 🙂

If she is putting this much effort in.. I would say she likes you. Btw, in this situation, I highly doubt that you would be made a fool by just telling her that you like her and getting to know her. We don't repeatedly hangout with someone if there isn't some interest, unless we both know it is platonic from the get go. Worst case scenario.. if she doesn't like you like that, she would be very considerate of your expression of feelings. I have had it happen a few times, and I have immense respect for displays of feelings, even if I don't reciprocate. Of these people, all of them are still friends or we fell away from each other in good graces. Good luck!

That's a very peaceful response 🙂 Thank you lindavi! I think I've found the courage - I'm just gonna open up and see what happens!

Linda,
Very true about being considerate of his feelings, we virgos are like that. Always tactful and knowing how to gently let someone down.

Zoso,

" So I know she plans to see me again. You'd think, however, if she was that into me we would talk more!"

She's a Virgo, not an Aries. So she wouldnt be the one making all the plans because technically we are just not aggressive. Talk more as in texting? To me, texting is friend zoning. But that's just me. You should stop texting her like all the other guys who do. Distinguish yourself from the rest. But right now, it is all about finding out if she has chemistry with you. Talking her all the time will not create more chemistry. She already feels it or not. This you have to find out before you waste more time texting.

"As far as my ex-Scorpio, it's unfortunate that everything I read about it says this is a pair made from the stars. I guess we just couldn't ever get it right."

I wonder if you read about the match made in heaven with a Scorp first, and then decided to be with one? Because maybe knowing too much about someone's zodiac before getting to know them really well isn't a good thing. The signs are just a part of who we are. There are a lot of other factors that have nothing to do with zodiacs. I would want to act natural and not try to be something according to my or their sign.....

"Warning for you - if you ever get involved with a Scorpio - the relationship is fine if they are yelling at you and screaming in your face. When they stop, is when danger is there. And when I say stop - I mean 100% DONE. Absolutely no communication at all, whatsoever, as if you never meant anything to them AT ALL. "

Thanks! I have seen these friends do that. Believe me. I hear all about how they dumped so and so or so and so does not ever deserve to be their friend etc etc. We virgos are too observant to fall into that trap. We would see it loooooong before it happened. Also, we are really skillful at extricating ourselves from explosive situations. We may feel awful and emotional, but we exit with total finesse. And if they cut me off abruptly, it would be for a good reason, that it wasn't working. I would accept it.

This has been a great thread. Thanks all who have been involved 🙂.

So I asked her. She like this other guy - and they are officially together as of last Thursday.

Cool!

So sorry to hear that, Zoso! Glad you proceeded with caution and asked her about it first before you did anything. (glad you didn't go for the hand holding or kiss!). It's not common for feelings to be mutual when it comes to chemistry. So many times I like a guy and they don't feel the same way, and equally the other way too. You're not alone....All the best.

Thanks

It's alright I suppose - better now than later. Thing is - when she asks me to come over and chill tomorrow - do I do it, or just retract and back up.

Zoso, only be friends with her if it isn't painful to you. Protect your feelings. Only see her if you know you will never try to win her heart and you give up 100% on her because she will never be yours. Not that she never will be, but you can't be friends with her if you have any quiver of hope.

I think that is the only safe way to do this, especially if you are a sensitive water sign. Otherwise, you will be pining away secretly when you hang out with her, waste your time, and feel hurt. Best of luck!

WOW dude. What an inspiring post. Very insightful - yeah, I agree with you - if I would have grabbed this one by the reigns and threw some "game" at her, no doubt she'd be laying in my bed right now. Problem is, that's not who I feel like I am right now. I am extremely bruised from my Scorpio - and that has everything to do with everything. I am not just looking for sex right now. Although I should probably just man up and get laid - I really don't think that's going to help me at all. I've been down that path, and it really doesn't ever make you feel better - only temporary fills your holes, until a new one is created.

I've never been in the game like this - having two kids from a previous situation. I feel like it changes everything, and I'm just being cautious to protect myself from getting hurt anymore. Definitely can't stomach the abuse right now - so THAT'S why I proceeded with caution. I have sort of an enigma, that when I turn the charm on - it's hard to resist. I know this, I've done it plenty of times in my life.

Some advice I got the other day from somebody close to me is that I shouldn't be looking towards ANY woman right now. This is a time of personal growth, which I can understand. It's just hard (being a water sign) when you feel something, you feel it. Intensely. All the time. 24/7. All day. Every day. Can't really turn that off. I think this whole situation is more a physical embodiment of the conflict inside me. If I was truly ready to let go, I would have turned it into overdrive. Maybe there's a deeper issue here....

Thanks for your post man. So helpful. TOTALLY glad I joined these boards 🙂

She said she likes someone else yet invites you over. I would trust actions over words. You never know how it will end up, sounds like you only know half of her story.

Well yeah, that is true. I think I'm gonna detach for a while. If she wants me, she can come to me.