Help w/ Virgo Woman (Page 2)

Posted by sv
She said she likes someone else yet invites you over. I would trust actions over words. You never know how it will end up, sounds like you only know half of her story.

^^^this. If she was so into the other guy, she would not be inviting you over!

I'm not trying to give you false hope but it just seems odd to me. Either she said that to gauge a reaction or she truly isn't into the guy as much as shes trying to portray. or maybe she really does want to be friends...sees good qualities in you....but if its too hard to be a part of her life like that...then don't do it. it will just complicate things...and you'll get hurt in the end.

Good Luck though...I wish it would have worked out the way you hoped! I love Cancers 🙂

🙂. We'll see what happens with it. Like I said - I feel rejected now, so I need to FEEL some sort of pull on her end or I'll just drop it. Better to hurt a little now than a lot later!

Aww I'm sorry....you need to toughen up that shell of yours! rejection is a part of life...go shell and process it all and then come out and face the world with a big ass smile on your face 🙂 you just never know what tomorrow will bring!

🙂. Is that your way of saying to continue the pursuit?

4 months and you're already turning the page? sheesh!

she moved to another state and took my kids with her...what else can I do? Loneliness is debilitating, especially for me.

you deserve it to yourself and any future people you may become involved with to take some time to yourself. the fact that you can't stand to be alone with you is a good indication of why others wouldn't want to be with you.

why people rush into relationships so soon after fucking up an old one is beyond me.

It's not just that though. I spend every day alone. All I do is write music and read scripture. Like I said in this thread - I'm not looking just to get in some chick's pants. I'm looking for a companion. Truth be told, if I could make it work with my ex, I would in a heartbeat...we have children together...a family. But, I don't really see it happening. She's a scorpio. When she's done, she's fucking DONE.

so you have unresolved feelings for an ex and you're trying to open yourself to "real" experiences with another?

what if you started dating this virgo or some other chick and let's say that goes on for 4 months. then, all of da sudden, scorpio contacts you and says she's wants to try again. given what you know about your feelings for her now, would you give a relationship with the scorpio another try?

See, that's the problem. I could hold onto that hope for the rest of my life. But what kind of life is that? Living each day waiting and hoping that somebody is going to return to you? You gotta be careful here - Cancers WILL do that. I love her. I will always love her. Period. That's how we work. If it wasn't real to start with, it wouldn't be an issue. But since it was - it always will be.

I don't have the answer to that question. I do, however, think that I deserve a life full of enjoyment and happiness, not just loneliness and pessimism. If I were to continue to wait hoping that she realizes that we have a family together, it could be a long, arduous and potentially unresolved road. To be honest, I don't think I have the strength of character to perservere like that. That is asking a lot of someone. Especially of someone who would actually consider it.

I didn't read that its only been 4 months! *smh at myself*

You need time to yourself, you cant heal your heart in 4 months time! Maybe you should try to work it out with the scorp....sometimes they say they are done but don't always mean it. *before scorps bash me...I said sometimes* lol

As far as WOULD I give it another try? I think I would owe it to my children to try my HARDEST to have their mother and father in a stable, loving home. Could it work? Maybe. Would I EVER be able to forget this egregious betrayal? Definitely not. Could I forgive it? Yes. Am I going to GET that kind of an opportunity from some person that will grudge for the rest of their life? You decide.

@Lost - If they don't want to talk to you, they don't want to talk to you. Pushing only makes things worse. Believe me, I have tried every possible avenue here. "Let's talk about this relationship." "Let's not talk about this relationship and just be friends." "Let's spend time together, let me come pick you and the kids up this weekend and we'll go to the waterpark or some shit." "Let me just have the kids this weekend so you can have time to yourself." "Look at this funny shit I found on youtube." Silence. Distance. I've tried it all.

Like I said you never know about tomorrow. She could change her mind (scorp) but until then/if you need to take the time to yourself! bottom line! You're not over that situation and trying to push yourself out of the grieving process isnt going to work and you'll hurt who ever is in your path (virgal or others)

blah. Wisdom sucks!

I know it does :/

hopefully my thread in Scorp forum will get this much love 🙂

eh...not sure about scorpios but given they're fixed, maybe they have the same perspective on distance as do other fixed signs.

when a fixed sign seeks distance...give it to them. it takes a lot for a fixed sign to throw in the towel and once they've said "enough," yes, they generally mean it, but attempting to reconcile too soon can actually drive a fixed sign further away. the nice shit you try to do may actually be an irritant. the more you move toward them, the more they will move away. in a way, it is all or nothing, but sometimes it's just that a fixed sign needs time to think/process events. it's difficult for a fixed sign to change and once a change has been made, it's difficult to go backward...thus, FIXED.

i'm not saying that you should wait for your ex. i am saying that 4 months is a short time to come to terms with the breakup of your family. you're looking for a relationship when you're broken. you think being with someone will fix your loneliness and you shouldn't be looking to others to fix you. you need to learn how to process your feelings in a constructive way and as difficult as that may be for you, it must be done.

also, if you still have feelings for the scorp, imagine how she would feel IF she does want to give your relationship another try and she finds out you've moved on so quickly? again, you shouldn't wait for her, but at least move on when you're truly over her and not just because your house it too quiet 😛

Posted by zosopage17
hopefully my thread in Scorp forum will get this much love 🙂

They should....there are some good people over there 🙂

LOL. Good response. Just kinda weird to go from having girl and 2 kids running around to...the sound of my computer fan. I've really struggled w/ platonic relationships in my life - I really have no use for them. I strive to create a home, a future, a family. That's what interests me...why I don't lay up at the bar 24/7 crying the blues picking chicks up. It's not what is good for me. Sigh. I guess I"ll just leave it all well enough alone - I've got plenty of movies to watch and twice hte popcorn now 😉

Posted by caligula
eh...not sure about scorpios but given they're fixed, maybe they have the same perspective on distance as do other fixed signs.

when a fixed sign seeks distance...give it to them. it takes a lot for a fixed sign to throw in the towel and once they've said "enough," yes, they generally mean it, but attempting to reconcile too soon can actually drive a fixed sign further away. the nice shit you try to do may actually be an irritant. the more you move toward them, the more they will move away. in a way, it is all or nothing, but sometimes it's just that a fixed sign needs time to think/process events. it's difficult for a fixed sign to change and once a change has been made, it's difficult to go backward...thus, FIXED.

i'm not saying that you should wait for your ex. i am saying that 4 months is a short time to come to terms with the breakup of your family. you're looking for a relationship when you're broken. you think being with someone will fix your loneliness and you shouldn't be looking to others to fix you. you need to learn how to process your feelings in a constructive way and as difficult as that may be for you, it must be done.

also, if you still have feelings for the scorp, imagine how she would feel IF she does want to give your relationship another try and she finds out you've moved on so quickly? again, you shouldn't wait for her, but at least move on when you're truly over her and not just because your house it too quiet 😛

+ 1

booo 🙂

Best to move on. She already told you she is officially with her new boyfriend. She invites you over now as a friend, to be nice, because she enjoys your company, but nothing more..... So it would be a painful friendship for you. Like you said, you have no use for that. So you are smart and wise to move on. Fortunately you didnt lay all your cards so in that way, there wasn't a lot you lost. You proceeded cautiously, good thinking on your part!

yes, get a new "job" and bring your shitty "resume" to the interview.

during the interview, be sure to mention how much you still love your ex and the fact that you spend most nights missing her and your kids.

when the interview is over..."ask for the job," but be sure to let your potential "employer" know of any pre-planned absences...namely that if your ex asks you back, you'll be quitting.

Oh my God! You're funny caligula. That's tough - because for me - I can't just "be friends" with girls. I mean, rarely can I - I feel like my attention is needed elsewhere all the time.

I guess, under your circumstance - I wouldn't hire me either. Thing is though - employer should take a chance, cause I'm the best employee he's ever had 🙂

I like your realism though, good post.

And btw - I never mentioned any of that at all until she asked me. I told her I didn't want to talk about it and she pressed. I was very vague on details, and made sure not to show my eyes at all - they always give me away. So unless she's a clinical psychologist, there's no way she could have known I'm still hurt there.

nothing sexier than a man who can't look you directly in the eye when he lies to you or hides things. that shit drives women WILD!

ok, i'm done. you're determined to add your discord to some strangers life so do you.

ta!

Posted by caligula
nothing sexier than a man who can't look you directly in the eye when he lies to you or hides things. that shit drives women WILD!

ok, i'm done. you're determined to add your discord to some strangers life so do you.

ta!

+1 to this, and to every Caligula post before this.

LOL thanks so much my man. That's true as it gets.

The venus is in gemini .. as a Virgo me no likey any gemini placement.

With Virgos u've to go slowwwwwwwwww. Super duper slow. Sadly not many can do that.
Weird thing is I can do that to others, but hate it when a virgo man does that with me.

I am slowwww, your one week is only like a day(or an hour sometimes) to me.
If the man goes fast I will feel pushed and disappear for a while...then come back like I've never disappeared at all. or do whatever I can to slow it down....that's if I like the man.

I think you can handle the pace, because you have to focus on your children as well. I think anyone who dates a Virgo should also see other man/woman to keep yourself sane, cos you won't have the patience with our pace and might give up. When you feel things are going too slow, you might do something that will make the virgo feel pressured and he/she will run away and close the door for good.