He's blocked ALL forms of communication too....

1st off how interesting your username is O_o Who do you have a problem with?

Um I guess YOU made the mistake of intentionally posting that blog in the first place.

And that is weird how you can figure out who he is through IP Addressing, you're not hacking his computer are you? LOL

Someone will probably give you a better advice. I need to wash up lol

LOL no it's just a random name I thought up... I'm sure as heck not going to use a name that he knows me by! o_O

Yes, I intentionally posted it, but he has never bothered to look at my blog before. Bad timing, ugh. There was more to the post but it was way too long for me to put on here. I kept asking him, "Do you really want to keep this going? You disappearing or not speaking to me just leaves me guessing. If you want to end it, please tell me." Then we would get into the same old conversation of, "No, I don't ever want to end this," and "Well good, 'cause I don't want to end it either!" I just saw him 2 weeks ago and we had an amazing time together.

Oh, and the IP address thing... I track my users because I get visitors from all over the world and I think it's interesting to see where they are all from. It automatically tells me the IP address, not something I really care to know... however, this time it bit me in the ass. :-/

Thank you for replying. 🙂

Sounds like you're a Leo who loves him and tried to win him by showering him with gifts and support.
Then he got into your life, and your moods, and whims for domination, drove him insane, but your irrationally exuberant confidence and strong will kept him around long after he's left, so he's decided to say, fuck it, forget you, LEAVE. Now, you have the Virgo escape where he basically just blocks himself off from existence to you. It's unfortunate about the money, altho, are we sure he knew this was a LOAN?

Hi everyone, and thank you for your replies. Harsh, but I know that you're all right. The money was a gift and nothing else - and I made sure that he knew that. I do not expect him to pay me back.

I guess what I'm wondering is, will he come back this time? I know it's a big no-no to try and contact him now and I'm fine with giving him space. So six months down the road do I try to apologize to him? I don't like leaving relationships (friendly or romantic) on bad terms.

Did I push him away for good? 😢

You may well have. 😢

😢 any virgos out there that can help? Do I have a chance at redeeming myself and getting him back? do you think he'll come back eventually like he always has?

Actually, no, it was NOT a public blog. Yes, he had access to it, but never visited until now. I appreciate responses, but I'd rather someone try to answer my questions rather than repeating what a horrible person I am. I KNOW that I hurt him. And for that I am extremely apologetic. What I need to know, from a virgo's point of view, is where do I go from here?

2 years of friends with benefits..... lmao

That says it all.

Well, I can see that I came to the wrong place for help. It seems as if nobody is interested in helping me figure out what I can do to fix my screw up. Yes, I know I hurt him. I hardly see how it is embarrassing for him when nobody knew about the blog except him and me. I never identified myself on my blog and I never used his name or initials. It was all completely anonymous. He doesn't even know for a fact that it was about him. He's not the only man in my life.

Kaleidescorp, I thank you for the honest, yet kind, reply. I know I messed up. But I want you all to understand that I am a Cancer to the core. I feel deeply and love even deeper - there should be no doubt in his mind that I love him with all of my heart and soul.

I said it STARTED as friends with benefits. Obviously, it became more than that over 2 years. You don't drive 8 hours to meet someone every few months if you don't care about them. He was finally opening up to me and I screwed it up.

I am not interested in hearing "truth hurts" (very immature, btw). I know what the truth is. I didn't ask everyone to tell me what a f-up I am. I asked for ADVICE.

For what I got here, I could have just gone to some stupid love and romance forum.

Posted by shesafake

I said it STARTED as friends with benefits. Obviously, it became more than that over 2 years. You don't drive 8 hours to meet someone every few months if you don't care about them. He was finally opening up to me and I screwed it up.

Some men go to lengths for some of that booty.

I am not interested in hearing "truth hurts" (very immature, btw). I know what the truth is. I didn't ask everyone to tell me what a f-up I am. I asked for ADVICE.

For what I got here, I could have just gone to some stupid love and romance forum.

click to expand

You know what the truth is, yet you are here asking for help?

It does not sound like this man was ever serious about you and now that you are ready to be serious, he runs away.
Lots Virgo men run away from feelings and your original post did not specify anything beyond friends with benefits.

Well Cajun, just because you're a virgo and a man does not mean that you know what he wanted.


Hmm..... let me see, we spoke daily through text, instant messenger, and phone. I know more about him than his family does. You of all people should know how easy it is for Virgos to open up. And what you said about him running away now that I was trying to get serious completely contradicts what I told you. I post something random that I reblogged and didn't even write myself about CLOSING CHAPTERS and that indicates that I want to be more serious?

How about you ask me some questions instead of saying that I "didn't specify" whatever. How about if you all stop assuming? This man is my best friend and I have no clue what is going through his brain right now. (besides that I hurt him)

I meant to say it's hard for Virgos to open up.

Posted by shesafake


Like alllllll virgos do, he'll disappear for a week or two, stating that he's been "busy." The longest we went without talking was one month, and he was the one to come back -- he's ALWAYS the one to come back.

forget all the other stuff. why has no one challenged this?

virgos don't disappear for a week or two when they're truly interested in you. absolutely not! they disappear when they're being asinine yes, but not when things are going well. my bff is a virgo and as a friend, he's very consistent. with women he's dating, he feigns consistency until he gets what he wants THEN he puts on his disappearing act.

this guy isn't even local and he's vanishing? maybe what you wrote in your blog was the harsh reality. good riddin's!

Thank you, Tubby. THAT is the kind of feedback I'm looking for.

This entire relationship has been push-pull. The times he disappeared we were arguing. But this, this is out of nowhere. Yes, that blog held some truth. I wanted it to be over but I didn't. I never intended for him to read it. But my heart is just raw because we can't be together (that's a whole other can of worms).

Posted by shesafake

How about you ask me some questions instead of saying that I "didn't specify" whatever. How about if you all stop assuming? This man is my best friend and I have no clue what is going through his brain right now. (besides that I hurt him)

If you fail to specify then obviously people are going to get the wrong impression.

It's like a process, the effort you put in is what you get out.
GIGO - Garbage in Garbage out

Riiiiight bc I'm supposed to fit my entire life history in here.

I wasn't hugged enough as a child, is that enough background for you? *eyeroll*

Kaleidescorp, I cannot tell you enough what a kind soul you are. I want to say thank you for talking to me. The feedback I was getting was frustrating me because I feel like I was being told over and over that I hurt him, yet nobody offered a solution. It hurts me to know that I caused him embarrassment and pain, though that was not what I intended.

Our relationship is complicated. Over the last year he has stopped "disappearing" except when we argue, which was becoming less and less. He tells me he "disappears" because he knows I need time to cool down. Like I said, I feel very, very deeply and when we argue I am usually pretty passionate about it. He'll let me know he's there, but will not engage me in conversation until he can tell I've calmed down. That is one of his qualities that I greatly admire; he is logical, calm, and keeps me grounded. I feel so safe around him.

I don't think he thought everything was going great as we had just had a conversation the day before about keeping/ending the relationship. It's complicated. But he's said that I am "precious" to him and does not wish to ever end the relationship. I hope and pray that if I truly am precious to him, he will come back and give me a chance to apologize and redeem myself.

I hope that since he's recently moved, started a new job, and has other stressors, he just needed a breather and will come back. But being blocked from communication is what scares me. I'm afraid he will be able to shut memories of me out and turn off thoughts about me. I, on the otherhand, cannot do that. It's driving me insane.

Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for hearing me and replying.

crazydiamond, I'm sending you a PM soon 🙂

The whole blog thing seems really emotionally immature and manipulative....What kind of relationship does one have that has too blog it on the web for others to see it especially him and not go to the source to sort it out? He may have felt really angry over your behavior, no one likes to be blamed for another persons pain, he most likely figured if your that in love, that emotionally torn and tormented he needed to cut himself out of your life to give you space to sort out your feelings. This seems to be a consensual relationship but the blog indicates that he's misleading you in some way, that would piss a person off for sure....Maybe this relationship turned from FWB to something more serious FOR YOU but for him it's most likely always been an FWB situation and I have to agree with Cajun, a man will drive to the other side of earth to get some ass, him driving 8 hours doesn't mean he wants something real with you.

lol ... you played a head game and lost .. plain and simple.

What is so confusing about that?


You intentionally gave him access, and then left a note to attempt to manipulate him into fearing that he better move in on you or you'll close the book on him in hopes he would come and get you ... and it backfired and kicked you in the ass.



Any other questions?

LOL@kicked you in the ass

IMO he will be back, free sex, free love, free money is hard to let go of....You are overfunctioning, you know deep down that giving a man sex, money, unending love and attention is doing too much and because he's the ACTIVE TAKER in the relationship, that blog was your way of attempting to cash in.... well it won't work....what will work is you stop doing what your doing and do something else, something that says you have some love for yourself, self respect and he's not the highlight of your life, stop making this guy more important than YOU....you are teaching him you are a nothing, a nobody without him, all that giving makes you look like a desperate foolish woman.....Your sending out the wrong messages to this man and he's only going to stick around when it's good, when he's getting what he wants from you, once the hard stuff seeps in he's gone....That should tell you that this relationship is one-sided (HIS SIDE) and your never going to get your share as long as your overfunctioning with him. You can turn this around but you seriously need to change your behavior.

Yes, actually, I do have a question. Did anybody in your life ever teach you about tact?

Ooh, look at me, I'm gonna act like a virgo and pull a disappearing act! Later.

no your not disappearing your acting emotionally immature and this is why your in the predicament your in....see ya

i feel like being nice tonight...sorta...

2 years, 8 hours, a fateful blog post...

maybe your virgo looked at the situation and finally deduced that the relationship could not rationally continue. sure, your arguing less but you're still arguing. at this stage of the game, you should be dying to be together. you should be moving mountains to close the gap. given that you're still so far apart, ask yourself realistically...

will he and i be within the same city in the next 6 months? if the answer is no, who cares WHY? just move on. you may not have liked his method but it's for the best.

Posted by shesafake
Riiiiight bc I'm supposed to fit my entire life history in here.

I wasn't hugged enough as a child, is that enough background for you? *eyeroll*

No one asked for the life story, but saying that it was friends with benefits without specifying that it became more is leading people to believe the wrong thing.

If you can't be specific, you're going to have trouble with dating a Virgo.

Morning everyone,

I just want to say thank you for all of your responses. I apologize if I got defensive yesterday; this has been a very hard situation for me. And, I'm very sensitive to say the least (I know, I know... a crab?? No way!!!).

I think for now it is just a waiting game as I know he needs time and space. At least if he ever comes back, I know how to deal with the situation. I've learned from my mistakes to say the least.

Thanks again. 🙂

Cheers

Yah mon, dat's de ting.

Thank you! Seavixen, it's funny you should say that. When I visited him 3 weeks ago I got a tattoo that says, "Que Sera Sera"

You're right, it's getting very busy and I'm trying to stay that way. 🙂

Kaleidascorp, thank you so much. Your messages have been very encouraging. Yes, you are absolutely correct that it takes patience to be with them. Which is funny, because I feel like he is very, very patient with me. Interesting.

Posted by shesafake
😢 any virgos out there that can help? Do I have a chance at redeeming myself and getting him back? do you think he'll come back eventually like he always has?

my brief comment. redeem? why should u. be glad he left (for good). he was using u

enough with the needing space excuse!
when we disappear on u, it's not always about us wanting our periodical Space.
sometimes it's "too much drama so byebye"


2years and still in the FWB stage? please honey. I usually know what I want from the beginning. If I see us being together in the future but just not ready, I'll let u know. If it's FWB in the beginning... it won't take me 2years Long to change my mind on bringing it to the next level. If it will always be FWB... u will always get the same answer whenever u confess or want more. lol

Posted by applemint_fv
enough with the needing space excuse!
when we disappear on u, it's not always about us wanting our periodical Space.
sometimes it's "too much drama so byebye"


2years and still in the FWB stage? please honey. I usually know what I want from the beginning. If I see us being together in the future but just not ready, I'll let u know. If it's FWB in the beginning... it won't take me 2years Long to change my mind on bringing it to the next level. If it will always be FWB... u will always get the same answer whenever u confess or want more. lol

so true

Thank you for the responses! I'm sure there was some form of using going on...although I do want to make it clear that I never gave him gifts or money before. He put up with my emotions and mood swings... A patient man. He gave a lot to me too, in the form of emotional support. It wasn't a one sided relationship where I gave and he took.

:::: shakes head :::::

Posted by applemint_fv

Posted by shesafake
😢 any virgos out there that can help? Do I have a chance at redeeming myself and getting him back? do you think he'll come back eventually like he always has?

my brief comment. redeem? why should u. be glad he left (for good). he was using u

click to expand

couldn't have said it better and to add to that...if we could just get her to stop with the excuse making and accept this reality, that he used her for sex, money, attention, one sided love, wow and all he had to do is put up with her moods and demands to have a real relationship, he really put up with a lot didn't he....

He was USING you, you gave him way more than he gave you I'm sure and on top of that he has cut communication, just killed you off like you weren't shit to him....please please wake up and stop obsessing over this guy, in 2 years he chose not to give you a proper relationship....you deserve so much better than that, take this time out from him to take care of yourself, take care of your self esteem and please stop giving men money, one time is one too many.

He will be back but why in the world you would want him, a man that can't even give you respect and real closure is beyond me....

I am convinced that all the women who come in here with virgo-men or any other men on the forum that say their men disappear for several weeks or months are actually players in disguise of having this supposed genuine quality.

I call it the boomhauer personality.

VVVVV

Calm persona, beady eye\'s, talks up women like they are their \"soul-mate\", takes them on a good date, has sex with them and disappears without even telling them where they are, and returns after several months without a proper explaination why they were. Also, they will call up the same woman from time to time and tell them how much they miss them and other crap, so they can \"think\" that these women are falling for them again, which some do while others don\'t.

I came to realize that my virgo cousin born on the 12th of september did this when he was going through his player days...

Too bad that these players can\'t be upfront as other people from different signs like the leo\'s.

Actually, he's 36 and far from a player. The last time he "disappeared" was November and we had a huge fight... I told him off in some very nasty words and deleted him from everything. I heard from him a month later, and everything had been fine since. In fact, he opened up to me even more after I told him I loved him.

wait a minute! are u a Cancer?!
k... I'm not surprised....

A cancer man has been stalking me for half a year now & doesn't know what NO means.
I disappeared on him, but have not changed my number...... I will soon! lol

Posted by crazydiamond63
Use the 90/10 rule.....contact him 10% of the time and see if he'll man up to the other 90% . Keep track of who's doing the pursuing and you'll have your answer most of the time.

based on my experience, cancers wouldnt mind giving 100% even when they get zero in return 😐

Yes, I am a true cancer in the sense that I give 100 percent to all of my relationships, romantic or not. It can be draining. :-/

Uh, I am not stalking him. I haven't tried to contact him and I have no idea what he's doing atm.

I really like the 90/10 rule. Good concept.