How can I win back my Virgo boyfriend?

Hello everybody, I am an aquarian woman and I have been seeing a Virgo man for nearly a year. We met at a party on the night of the Summer Solstice and we started living together since the end of October last. We were very passionate about eachother, we joked a lot. However in the last 6 months we had 4 physical fights and after the last one, I came back from work the next day and discovered that he had taken out all his stuff form our flat, almost like mehtoodically removing all trace of himself and us as the happy couple we were only the night before.

I miss him so much and since he left about 3 weeks ago, I have been feeling physically ill: I can't sleep properly, can't eat, feeling depressed for most of the day and have a sick nausea-adrenaline feeling in my stomach.

We spoke yesterday in person for the first time in a few bleak days and he told me that his main motivation in leaving was that there couldn't be love if we hit eachother.

My reation under pressure has been pretty dismal in the past, totally non productive for me or the others around me. I told him that I have been going to meetings for people with nervous disorders who share their particular problems in the group and then refer to the ethos of the group in order to gain insight and ultimately change their reactions to stresses. He told me that he doesn't delieve in this kind of therapy.

I miss him so much. I really want him back. I would like if he could reconsider all the factors in our relationship which were mainly good, nice times with lots of affection and cuddles. I love him and I miss him like I am starving.

Can anyone, Virgo or otherwise, throw any light on what I can do please? Thanks

Hello Mellowdee

Sorry, to hear about your trouble, I believe that you'll have to seek for the solution among the professional people since nobody can suggest or otherwise any solution to your relationship's problem.

Frankly I am not going say any white lies to give you false hopes, face it, you guys harmed each other physically many times..!! In my humble opinion, when a relationship gets to this stage there will be no real cure for it, and even if you guys force yourselves to work with the problem, later on you are going to kill each other because you two have found the "brutal" way to express your uncontrollable emotions and frustrations and aggressions, not a "dialog" way. I am sorry to say that, but there is no "brute force" in love life.

I truly hope that I am wrong...

But for your "LOVE HANG OVER" you'd better put your mind on something else, or you'll continue hurting yourself emotionally..!! And don't get drunk, because alcohol makes you do things that you will regret it later..!! Force yourself and mind to get a hobby or something attractive enough to distract your attention/mind from the past.
You'll be OK.

Thanks Qbone, I truly hope you are wrong as well! It's hard to distract your mind from something when it is emotionally zonking you. I will try. At night time it's the worst cos that's when I start panicking. I got a prescription for sleeping tablets today so hopefully that will alleviate that problem. Reading over Virgo horoscopes at the moment they seem quite empowered and reference to making a bold change, being cruel to be kind and breaking lionks with the past. Maybe Qbone if you start concentrating on feeling vibes of compassion and tenderness and open heartedness it might permeate into the zodiac field and my former lover will tune in them too!

Ahh....
Good comments...see—?? You answered to your problem already better than anyone else...😉
Knowing that I am Virgo and thinking somehow the same way as your boyfriend's way of thinking, might help you to get some good answer to your problem.
Keep talk about your emotions lady...🙂

Ok....I'll give you a clue if you are unable to focus and concentrate.
"Compassion and tenderness"....!!those are the things that many Virgo's do not realize, not because of they are stupid, but because of they need to be "taught", Virgo's thought hangs around Visual reality and facts "compassion and tenderness" are not Visual?.
Go ahead lady, and try to teach your sensitive Mr. Virgo, some "none visual" reality and facts.
Good luck with it thou..!!
🙂

He'll be back, if you manage to talk it over in "smart way".. I am sure of it.
-What ever you do, do not be sorry to what happened between you guys in the past.
-Be a Drama Queen."but don't over acting it"
-Let him lead the talking, "you don't have to be agree to what he says", but don't argue with him neither.
-Give him some good portion of alcohols?tsk tsk.."Virgo's open up easily with that".

And for GOD sake....!! Keep your hands in to your pockets when you guys communicating around the "ultra sensitive" areas of your emotions.
And please let us know about the outcome.
Now....go get him..
🙂

Thanks Qbone for that. Thing is he won't even enswer his phone. I'm going to go over to our flat soon and try to tidy it up and get everything out by this evening. He won't communicate with me. I saw him on the weekend when he called over unexpectedly (I gave him a beer!) and then he told me he'd call me and we'd see eachother soon. I don't understand when he lies like that. Do virgos like to prolong torture on people they are angry with as well? I could see what you mean about the emotions not being in evidence when I saw him on sunday. He looked very well like he was physically refreshed and energised. Do you think it's likely he would find somebody else soon? Like is it in a vigoan mentality to cut off sharply a year long relationship and then be ready for seeing another woman without any emotional residue from the last woman he was with?
Thanks Qbone

Hello Mellow Dee
Alana here - just reading your story - are you sure you are not me!!! I am aquarian with virgo guy and your story is so like mine.
I too have had troubled times so much like yours with Mr. Virgo - won't go into it now - just read some previous virgo/aquarius postings!!!
I am going to give you one piece of advice - if you want to get him back....make absolutely no more contact with him!!
DO NOT phone him.
Virgos hate when that someone special decides to stop phoning...in fact it drives them crazy...eventually he will phone you!!! (guaranteed!!)- in fact don't answer his first few calls!!!! When he does call you then casually answer - put on your most positive voice (even though you are feeling crap) - when he asks how you are - say absolutly fantastic....(immediately in the virgo mind comes the jealousy factor when they hear others are doing great, there must be someone else coming on the scene!!!! - and jealousy will win a virgo back!! - nothing else!!)

If he asks how you are are....be smart and say - still as beautiful as ever!!!! - just on my way out to meet a friend!!! - then try to make him laugh....if you can make him laugh...you are half way there....let him do the running and talking.....be a little feisty and drama-queenish but not over the top!!! Q-bone has it down to a tee!!!

But nor more ringing however bad it makes you feel......
He will return........

I wish you well my friend - I so understand how you feel.

A x

Thanks for your input Alana. I read over your previous correspondence about you and your Mr Virgo. Thing is we were physical and in his book this is like a big no-no. Like it's automatic that we break up and there can be no discussion about it above and beyond that. Do you still reckon that not calling him would work? I would do it if there was a chance. But aren't Virgo's very stobborn in a noble way? Like once they make up their mind, however dodgy were the ground for the decision, they are unlikely to change their minds or reconsider. He just sounds so firm and he said he was still nervous and cold about what happened. I need him back like a drug. Can't sleep or eat properly. Did you and your Mr Virgo ever have big major rows? We only had four in the year that involved throwing things at eachother. I know it's crap and it shouldn't have happened. Assuming that he's quite firm and resolute and is still very pissed off with me is there still any strategy, however bizarre or remote, that I can adopt to win this lovely guy back—

Hi MellowDee!

I hope you don't mind if I interject a thought or two. I am not so sure that this situation can come down to a person's sign as to how they will react to something. I rather think that it is each persons unique values as to how they chose to respond. And herein lies the discovery of another human and who they are. I would give him time...he will come around if it is meant to be...we cannot force someone to enter back into our lives and why would we really want that as it would not be authentic to us or to the relationship. Just my thoughts...

I am so sorry that you are missing him so and hurting...I hope the best for you and him.

OMG.....Lady Alana is here.....🙂

Damn?.. Lady "Alana" you just spoiled my long..... write/editing?write/editing stuff?.do you know how long it takes for me to write —hehehe?well?..!! its great that you respond it and reflect somehow the way I had in my mind.
🙂
Yes? mellowdee?.as great Alana say ..you are too "available"?! "Reminding you that it is not a Virgoish " !! It is simply MALE/FEMALE ..love and partnership tactics and affaires you know.
Anyways?.!!
I just want to add something here, and please try to imagine it.
Me as a male human (NOT ONLY PRESENTED AS A VIRGO) . Well?!!!. In my private life, when the conflicts and situation presents itself. and my "intuitions" "gut feelings" prove it to me that there is no hope for this current relation, I will break it up as fast as I can !!?. and even destroy every bridge that it ever existed in my love life "methodically", that's for sure..!! I'll never look back at the previous situations, and for me, gone is gone "if I decided after my calculations and feelings" it's just about the removing those feelings of "expectations and slavery"...to free myself from what it once was "obligations" to me, so..My new "tactic" will help me to "keep me heading forward in my life" .it is not a VIRGOISH at all!!
But to be fair.. I'll Try to not judge some one "that I loved" behaviours and actions based upon on my expectations and needs, and push myself to realizing that, peoples have their own agendas and values !! and they may do what they have to do to accomplish their goals and it may not be what I'd do or wished for thou?!!)
Wel...sound's strange..seems to be that I don't want to fight for it, or to feel as cold as ICE to your boiled "Irsih" blood..( I love Irish temper..) 😉
hummm .. Right!!!...But....!!! There is no right and wrong in my book...!! If my partner "WANT" to see my "WISHES" it's because of her wisdom, and if she wants to accept it...then "It is because of her generosity" not because of I am wise and cool and Virgo and know the tricks.
I am not sure about "how well you know" your partner..but for the data you supplied here, you don't know him well you just "feel" to know him "sorry to say that". horoscope/numerology/personality etc. is a crap and waste of time..!! You don't get anything out of it; in fact they make illusions for your never stopping mind and feelings that seeks for the answer to the current situation. And the result is scary....you alter "something" based upon "something unreal" by just reading it.believe me...!!
By the way... did you know that you can alter the reality, just for think of it or focus on it or perhaps predict it..?? Don't go after those horoscope predictions craps... you may alter something that is not meant to be there "in your life", I am dead serious about it (metaphysics is my main and real study)..!!
Of course..!! You got panic when you get the problem like this, just hang on there..!! "It is pretty normal" and happen every damn second in this world (for your comforts and if you really think about compassions and tenderness)... but remember this.
You are beautiful
you are wise
You are good
You know exactly who you are and no one can change it.
And you are lovely
See?..??
Don't limit yourself my Queen to some looser that you "think" you love?.!! Go ahead...life is great and limitless "full of surprises" and don't waste a second to something that your feelings tell you that it is not good.trust yourself and feelings but translate those feelings "correctly".
Good luck and my best wishes for your life
🙂

ahh hello freebird...

Thank you Qbone! I'll try to hang in there. Do you believe in the basic traits associated with each of the zodiac signs tho? That's just an aside but I get what you mean about how you can alter your perception of reality by interpreting too seriously horoscopes and things. Mr Virgo (I'll call him Freddy cos he has the same birthday as that famous glamorous front man of Queen) fitted most of the characteristics of a Virgo except that his venus, mercury and mars are in Libra so he has a very charming and sweet demeanour. Throughout our relationship I did try to be wise and generous and patient to things that we didn't see eye to eye on. He did say he loved me a night or two before the "big fight" (sounds like something involving Mike Tyson) and "don't you forget it". Okay I'm going on and on and on now. Will try to stop. He gave me a box of chocolates once called "Baci" which is Italian for Kisses and each sweet has a little wise saying enclosed in the wrapper about love and the whole worl aorund it. One which I recall now said "Never stop searching for what you love or you may end up loving what you find". Maybe Qbone, would you advise basing my future emotional decisions on the sweet wrappers?! Only joking!

Alana, if you're there, I notice you're from Dublin like me! I was reading Linda Goodman's starsign book and she was saying that Aquarian women always seem to have unusual hair. At the moment I would describe mine as rather unkempt and in that way not adhering to any particular style . What's yours like?

Listen to me Mellowdee and listen good my pal.
You threw things at Mr. Virgo - got physical etc.
I am that soldier.......I once broke up his bedroom and sitting-room - went beserk in his house - broke his remote, broke his lamp - I know the aquarian temper...you just lose it for about 5 minutes....lose it big time....I've hit, slapped and kicked him in the past......said the most horrendous things.....!!! And I know that cold, remote, untouchable stance and look in their eyes they take and have. But don't worry too much.....virgos on the surface appear not to like drama and all that goes with it BUT however, deep down, because they suppress all their emotions and drama qualities so much, when they do see it in their loved one, they are actually captivated, mesmerized and attracted to it - it's totally the opposite of what they are and so it shakes them to the core but also seduces them at the same time though they will deny deny deny.

I would then try to apologize big time and say sorry...but I came to the conclusion it's not good to say sorry to a virgo....once you say that, they seem to LORD it, and treat you like dirt for a while!!! It's best to say - listen I made a mistake and everyone makes mistakes!! To make mistakes is our birthright!!! Of course, we all know Virgos never make mistakes...they are perfect!!! Huh!!!! But they are reasonable and will think and reflect on their own what you have said....they are logical creatures....

Yes, when they do take a stand, they take a stand but I've found that that stand doesn't necessarily last more than a week or so!!!! Especially when You become not AVAILABLE and don't PHONE!!! Minds are for changing and quite suddenly out of the blue, they do!!!

For God's sake woman, I didn't realize you live in Dublin....nobody on this board lives in Dublin!!! Why not e-mail me on alana719@hotmail.com and we can discuss your beautiful guy some more:-) and yes, they are all beautiful!!

As for my hair, it's a little past shoulder-length now - and strawberry blond....it's really dead curly by nature but I get it blow-dried straight.

Contact me M, if you wish...we've lots to talk about!!!

A x

Hey Alana! That advice is quite comforting to me thanks. Will indeed email you. Isn't it gas the way you're only living in the same county in the same country as me! Qbone have you ever faltered after making a "firm decision" before? Thanks again

Oh yeah... many times earlier in my life,
This is not a weakness however it is lack of self confidence and fear of unknown that makes you feel this way, hesitation maybe??

And By the way.. About the message on that sweet wrapper.
"Never stop searching for what you love or you may end up loving what you find" nice little wise advice, it is true but I don't believe it completely. I usually have a high standard for everything, literally, and if I follow this advice then I have to search for it some 1000 years or more. What I really love is almost beyond of my reach so I gave it up years ago, but at the same time I have to "like" what is available to me because I want to enjoying the life and the moments that I am in it, without it, life is hard to follow and is boring hell, so the second part of this advice is more correct in my stance than the first part.
🙂

Okay Qbone, I'll rephrase the question: have you ever made a dramatic proclamation that you are never going to see/talk to somebody ever again and then a week later all the resolve and venom that made you make that statement disappear and you're not so sure or firm in your sentiment anymore? Rather like when you say after you've eatten too much cake so that you feel slightly nauseous and you vow never to eat another slice ever again. Do you know what I mean? I've just come from tidying our flat and mr Virgo has left me to deal with the landlady and the last electricity and gas bills as well as breaking the contract we signed in the lease for our flat and not showing the slightest concern or reluctance at leaving me to deal with it all. Like he can justify leaving as abruptly as he did but how does this high moral ground justify leaving me to deal with all the doo doo afterwards. If I was a guy who had been cosharing with him, I doubt he would have been so self centred and disrespectful. Night night!

Hello again Mellowdee

Damn....I don't know what to say...what he did and the way he treated you is something out of my imaginations. Well?. you know at least where you standing, just keep your head above the water and try to forget him as fast as possible for you, I know it is hard but you have to make a choice here, Living a hell with all those pain and sorrow, or forcing yourself to start a new life a "better one" with someone that respect you and treat you well.

Hmm ?you've questioning something elementary from someone weird like me, but to answer you truthfully and correctly IT DEPENDS ON.
Let me explain it:
I never made a decisions when I feel upset or angry or happy or glad, those are the feelings that blocking my sense of reason, emotional things are building up fast and going away faster and any decisions that have been made on that periods of time affecting my life forever, so I am very careful about what to say or how to react, especially in front of the loved one.
If the situation in my love affair proving that something is not right or better say I am not happy with the current situation I carefully talk it over and present the problem that bugging me and ask/seek for the solutions with my partner, but if it is still not improving, then I will initiate the "countdown", at the same time seeking more for the solutions to do "not" end it. The time frame is depends on how much I feel for my partner situation, and how long we know each other (of course I'll never end it in a blink of the eyes and it takes sometimes) but eventually I'll do it, and when I do it I'll never look back (despite of others telling another story about Virgo's are like boomerang) for me gone is gone. Be alive and living a life is more important to me than anything else in this world, realizing that "I am the most important person in my life" helps me to head forward, It may sound arrogant but when you experience 3 hard breaks and each of those takes up a year of your life with pain and sorrow and misery then if you still alive, you start to re-write the whole you till you become the most important person in your life a free spirited, unbreakable soul. (It is the reward). Anyway.
What I believe is, your partner also did "initiate the countdown unfortunately without letting you know that" many weeks ago even before your last fights, look in to your memory for the details, if you focus enough you may find the trace of some important information that have been said but its ignored by you earlier (don't get me wrong I am not accusing you to be ignorant), it must be something there because nobody finish a relationship without a reason!

As for you lady?.calm down and put yourself together, there is always a hope and there is always a sun shining somewhere above, just slow down and take some free days form your work and pamper yourself for sometimes, you'll need it. In the mean time if he calls don't show him your frustrations just pretend that you are happy and nothing is wrong.
In fact nothing is wrong, and you have world of reasons to be happy, you are free, your freedom worth 1000 times more than anything else in this world, you may not realizing this now, but give it a time then you'll see what I mean.
Take a deep breathe and say good riddance.

🙂

Absolutely to what Mr. "Q" says...very eloquently said.

Hey,
Im next in here with the same problem my virgo boyfriends throws same tanturms ... and he jus walk out without even giving me a reason ..... im left there wondering what happened... Jus few days back he was good... said he missed me and how he is going to keep in touch... few days later he just stoped calling...he said he is scared of emotions and he is is a emotional dessert.... im not sure is it because he wanted to cut it off ... or was he confused or he didnt think i was important enough for him to spend money and make a long distance call ......