I'm In Love With a Fish . . .

Yes I'm in love with a Pisces . . . for more than a few years now. I love him more than anything and have no desire to be with anyone other than him. I am not your typical Virgo in that I am extremely extroverted and have no desire to hold in any of my thoughts and emotions. In many ways, he and I are total opposites, and for the most part . . . this seems to work out splendidly.

I don't really have any complaints . . . it's really more of a question.

I can deal with his moodiness . . .I can don't really mind that he is more anti-social than me. At the moment, I can deal with how much he lets me in. My question is . . . is this as far as I will ever be let into his mind?

I know I have been let in more than anyone else ever has and I realize that is a HUGE step for him. As each year passes, I feel as though I am let in a bit more and more, but just a bit. I don't really have a desire to be inside of his mind and I will be completely content if that never happens, but what I do desire is for him to express to me more of the things he thinks about . . . more of what is in his mind. For some reason . .this is in general a very difficult thing for him to do. I don't think he is unwilling to do so, I think he feels unable to do so. I by no means take it personally, but how can I help him learn to do somthing that has always come so natural to me . . . express himself?

VI . . I'm thinking that there is a confusion here. Or, not confusion, rather a mis-understanding on your part of the Piscean nature, in general. Not being able to express ourselves is NOT an issue within ourselves . . however, it is normally an issue with others around us.

People, all the time, even in here . . don't quite grasp where we are coming from, yet, in our minds, we have made our point perfctly clear. So, what I mean by this is that you feel like he's withdrawn and not expressing himself and wondering how long it will take before he opens up, and what I'm saying is that he probably is perfectly open with you about his emotions from his perspective.

Certainly, I don't know this man, or you . . I can only try to explain how we communicate. Being anti-social isn't normally a malady. We are very open with how we feel . . about everything.

When you said, "For some reason . .this is in general a very difficult thing for him to do. I don't think he is unwilling to do so, I think he feels unable to do so".

This jumped out at me .. he's NOT unwilling, and he feels unable . . this leads me to believe that you're just not understanding how the Pisces communicates? If he attempts to tell you how he feels and your not grasping that he's going to talk in images, rather than logic . . then he might be feeling at the end of his rope on how he's going to get you to comprehend him.

We talk metaphorically a lot of times, especially if we're talking about feelings . . do you know that?

Like I said, I don't know this man . . but, what I do know is that as far as expressing how we feel isn't normally a problem for the fish, yet, understanding the fish IS A PROBLEM for a lot of Virgo's . . so, I'm just saying that perhaps instead of getting him to open up, perhaps you should try putting your logic aside and try understanding him from the Piscean perspective . . we view life with images, not practical thought . . so this is how he will convey what he's thinking.

Anyway, I'm not trying to offend you, rather, give you some insight into how his head works when he's working through how he feels.

VI . . there's a thread on the Pisces board addressing how we think, and how and why people don't understand us sometimes . . maybe if you read the responses from the other Pisces in this community, it would give you some insight.

Hey VI...yes like P-Angel said our way of communicating is through images...I am a Pisces with a Virgo boyfriend and our style s of communicating differ greatly...don't try to put your partner's emotions into a logical understanding, you will only end up frustrated...just embrace it...

also, men, regardless of signs, are different and once you acknowledge that, you stop the role many of us women fall into, the role of convincing or trying to pull something out that needs to come out naturally...they express more through actions...

so my suggestion would be...embrace his image mentality and you may see things in a new light

Thank you both so much for your insight . . . I never really thought about the image thing before. . . and it really makes sense and I am going to try to understand that more. The comment made about men in general expressing more through actions than words . . .that really makes a lot of sense as well.

However, I think that maybe I was not very clear in my original post. He has told me many times that he has much going on in his head, but somehow the words will not form to let it come out. This is true for when he is with strangers or those he is close with. He wants to verbalize what is on his mind, but somehow feels he cannot find the words. I was just looking for a way to possibly help him with this because I know at times it is extremely frustrating to him.

I did look at the the Pisces boards as suggested and found the following phrases from 2 different recent posts by different users.

"then why is it so hard for us to express our feelings verbally? Is this just me or characteristic of pisces?"

"its just hard for me to express what im thinking"

This makes me think that maybe this is a characteristic of some (i realize of course not all) Pisces . . . or at least some Pisces males or who knows . . maybe just males or it could be a total coincidence. I wonder if there are others out there who have at one time had the same problem (Pisces or not Pisces, doesn't really matter) and were able to overcome it . . . or if it is somthing they end up living with for the rest of their lives.

We certainly DO live with this everyday of our lives. And this not being able to express himself thing to people, verbally? It's because we view in images, while everyone else thinks with logical thought. He knows what he's thinking and what he wants to say .. he's just not saying because he is aware of the reception he'll get from others if he talks in description, instead of points.

Normally, when I talk (unless I'm pissed-off) it takes me forever to get something out because I have to describe what I'm envisioning.

"this is in general a very difficult thing for him to do. I don't think he is unwilling to do so, I think he feels unable to do so"

I felt unable to do so for a very long time because when I talk, people are looking at me like I'm a freak. Fortunately, with my husband, he comprehends that I cannot process, nor communicate with precision because everything comes to me in situational images and visions .. because of him, and a few others who understand me, I'm able to have conversations without the fear of being judged as ditzy idiot. He KNOWS that communication in the form of everyone esle is a handicap to me .. so, I've grown away from letting this effect my life.

It's possible that your man has not as of yet, met someone who understands this and ALLOWS him to take more time in talking to get things out. If you're understanding with him, YOU may be the person to help him over this hurdle. When you read this in the Pisces board .. there are many, many, many Pisces who feel this way. We know what we're feeling and we know what we want to say .. we just can't say it without describing the feeling.

Never forget when dealing with us: We feel first, think second.

"He has told me many times that he has much going on in his head, but somehow the words will not form to let it come out."

It's because he listens to others talk, you, his family and friends and he hears how articulate they are .. and he feels insuffecient, inadequate because he can't do this, our minds don't know how. Even now, I can't say to you what I need to in just a couple sentences .. it scares us, VI, because we feel so different and looked upon like we are dummies and stupid.

That's why Pisces make such good writers .. this gives us an avenue to express the way we need to .. prolifically. I'll bet you, he writes, if just even for himself so he can express .. maybe just a journal or diary. If not, then maybe suggest it, it might help him.

When you come across a Pisces who is able to talk in a short, direct fashion and not FEAR the reception they get from others .. it's because there has been someone in their life who has comprehended how their mind processes and has allowed them to express.

When you come across a Pisces, such as your man .. it's because he's been looked down on for being slow in mental processing. We aren't slow, VI, in fact, many fish are quite intelligent .. it's getting it out that's they problem. It embarasses us, or at least the ones who have been scolded and forced to suppress.