Learning patience with my virguy

My saga continues...

I decided to be frank and ask the virguy I've been seeing about his 'psychosis' and he said it mostly manifests itself as tunes in the back of his head which he's convinced are on the radio or the tv and then he realises they're both off. I now understand why he's such a gifted musician if he constantly has music in his head but he said it gives him terrible migraines. He also sees faces and images which he knows aren't there but seem very real to him.

This is getting off track. What I want to say is that, although I was very afraid at first, I think the word 'psychosis' frightened me more than it should have and, having spent more time with him and spoken to him about it, I feel more comfortable with it. Nobody's perfect.

We've had 3 great dates but things are moving so slowly. A friend of his passed recently which meant I didn't see him for ages and is understandable but I don't know why he's not made the move yet. He went white when I mentioned some guy who made a pass at me last week, told me he wanted to draw me nude and admired my cleavage 😉 lol. When we parted he shook his head, looked at the ground and promised to 'get you drunk next time'. The whole time I am thinking JUST KISS ME.
If this guy is teaching me anything, it is definitely patience.

I'm going away for a 2 week girls holiday in a couple of weeks and, after seeing how he reacted when I told him about the guy in the bar, I don't know whether to tell him about my holiday or not. Since I'm not the type to cheat, anyway, I don't want to plant seeds of doubt unnecessarily. But, on the other hand, should I feel obliged to behave myself since he's not made the move yet? In other words, should it even be an issue at this point? If he just wants to be friends I don't want to waste my 2 weeks of guilt-free fun!

ps: the guy who made a pass at me is a virgo with mars in scorpio! and my virguy has venus in scorpio. i must be a 'type' to these guys or something. scorp sun with scorp rising will do it, i guess...

from what i've gathered, virgos seem to prefer that you wait for them. to put it mildly.

but i've also learned the hard way that no matter how great a person with mental health issues can be, and no matter how much you may care about them, it's usually a lot more trouble and hurt than it's worth. but you probably want to learn the hard way, being a scorpio and all. have fun with that.

Posted by masomenos

He went white when I mentioned some guy who made a pass at me last week, told me he wanted to draw me nude and admired my cleavage

Posted by masomenos

I don't want to plant seeds of doubt unnecessarily.

click to expand

Your words and actions don't coincide.

Virgos definitely analyze people congruently .... once this is picked up by him, then your saga won't be continuing, it will be over.

curious visitor - yes, i know. everyone keeps telling me not to date him but i don't think i can stop myself and that this stuff always ends badly but i do have family members who have/have had mental health issues and have gone on to lead normal lives and had healthy relationships. i don't want to turn away from something that could potentially be great because of one obstacle.

p-angel - sorry, i wasn't clear. it was the virguy who wants to draw me nude and likes my cleavage. the guy who made a pass at me i mentioned in passing without even realising what effect it would have but when i saw he went white i told him straight away that i'd told the guy where to go. it was the fact that he seemed to care that really surprised me. i didn't KNOW he cared.
that was the only time i've ever mentioned anyone else so i'm not planting seeds of doubt.

i still don't know whether to tell him about my trip because i don't want to worry him and seeing how he reacted to the guy in the bar i'm foxed.

Go for it...you already know he has deep mental issues, you pretty much feel like your capable to deal with it but please don't get us here to analyze his craziness or tell you how to proceed to approach him with your issues such as trips and what not, that's a lot to ask and there really isn't anyway to get around his feelings/reactions to what you tell him...I don't for a second believe you told him about another man without realizing what you were doing, we women like to test...seemed more like you were testing him and he didn't like it...That's drama to a man that deals with mental issues, your making him feel uncomfortable.

Tell him about the trip or not tell him, if your afraid of hurting him or making him uncomfortable then your already going down the wrong path because you can't really function out how a man like this will react, you do what you feel is right and then you sort it all out afterwards if you can...There is no real rhyme or reason or correct or incorrect way....He's mentally ill, hopefully he's on meds and getting some sort of psychological assistance via psychologist/therapist...You can't really compare him to your family members, every person is different, some people refuse meds, some people are happy and willing to take them if it means leading a normal life, some mentally ill people thrive off of the highs and lows and create intense drama filled situations to get a hit/dose of excitement to get high...It just all depends on the person...UNAVAILABILITY is something you will always have to cope with....I think your way in over your head but now that you have chosen to proceed, why are you here? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to find a forum were there are other women/men that date mentally ill people so you can have support b/c your going to need it. They have bi-polar forums which includes people married to and/or dating schizophrenics...You really need to educate yourself and learn as much as you can, there's no way your going to walk out of this without deep emotional wounds...I don't know why anyone would sign up for that but hey to each his/her own.

So if "every person is different" how can you make sweeping statements about what "people with mental illness" do? And what on earth makes you think meds are the answer? I've seen people who were diagnosed with stuff who went on meds and immediately got 10 times worse than they were before.

Clearly, you've had some bad experiences in your past with guys who had issues. But you can't take one aspect of a person's life and decide that it colours everything else about them. I'm here for astrological advice, not mental health advice.

I know that his illness doesn't affect his life in a big way and he manages perfectly well without meds or assitance. I don't know why you seem to think he's climbing the walls or something without that; maybe the guys in your past did that. I'm sorry you went through bad stuff but that doesn't make your experience the blueprint for everyone dating someone with issues. Like you say "every person is different".

He manages well WITHOUT romantic relationships, once a woman comes into the equation that's when things get difficult and complicated, mental illness can be managed without a ton of stress and drama unfortunately relationships don't come without those 2 ingredients...

Meds can help people with mental disabilities if given the right dosage and combination but this isn't a med issue or a virgo issue, you have a man with mental illness and your applying normal relationship issues to a not so normal man...I have seen both sides of the coin, men on meds that hate to take them more off than on and seem to lead normal healthy lives on meds but completely off meds are devil incarnate, I have seen men that don't take meds, yet there lives are managed down to the smallest things b/c it has to be that in order these guys to function properly, women get dumped after so many weeks b/c that's when the drama begins, so it's better to move on then deal with stress and complications, I have friends that have psychosis, mental illness, bipolar and they all deal with there issues differently and none of them manage to keep and maintain healthy relationships for too long, not b/c they are bad men but b/c there mental illness comes first and most women treat the relationship like it's normal b/c she doesn't know any other way to treat the relationship and it's confusing for her and she doesn't get that he's ill, meaning his brain doesn't act right, isn't normal and as my bipolar with schizophrenic traits BFF guy friend says women seem to exasperate and add to the problems in his daily life and it's best to move on....he's beautiful, very charming, artistic, smart, has a great life but in his words his brain is not right, he attracts beautiful women daily and they never stay, they can't....You need a support system were there are women and men that can help you maintain once things get deeper..

You can bite at me b/c your defending your decision to date a mentally ill man and you want us to treat you as if this is normal behavior, well it's not and you will have more than just relationship issues and you need that kind of support.

Come back here 6 to 9 months from now..I promise you...You will be singing a new tune, you will be smarter, wiser and will have to admit your level of naivety regarding this man.

And for the record I'm not putting you down, judging you, criticizing your decision nor discouraging you to not date this man, I'm simply saying this forum may not be the best place to get the kind of help you really need, yes he's a virgo but I feel that's a small issue comparable to the bigger issue, his mental illness. As you go deeper the rabbit hole seems to never end and you will have more questions than you will answers, having a support system or group of women/men that have been in your shoes is IMO a smart move, it won't keep you ahead but it will keep you feeling balanced when things get complicated and a bit confused emotionally and it will get confusing and a bit crazy on a mental emotional level.

wow, this thread is mentally ill. might have to use the ignore feature so i don't make the mistake of reading your posts again.

*shakes head*

Tubby! She is trying to dissect how sign and mental illness may intersect... he is a Virguy after all!!

mesomenos... no one is judging you, Tiki's right, you need to get info elsewhere if moving forward with this. If he has a therapist, maybe he is willing to let you join in some sessions... you could ask if it would be ok for you to go once, this would show support and care. Not knowing the guy though, this could be intrusive - you know him best. But, if you are wanting to be part of his life, he would probably appreciate and welcome you to come to at least one. After that, he may want you in more... but, never ask, let him want you there. Just the fact you offer to begin with (whether he accepts or not - and don't take it personally if he says no) will probably mean the world to him!!

she's comparing something as complex as mental illness to astrology? and she's doing it on THIS website?

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah...i was right. ignore 😛

Bottom Line ....



You play head-games with nutcase.




:::: throws hands up :::::

tiki and lildoll - Thank you for your help!

Very surprised about all the snap judgements from everyone else.

midgetbull - thank you as well! sorry i forgot to mention you first.

lildoll was right, i was trying to see how his sign influenced him.

However, I do think tiki is right and I need to go elsewhere. Not least because of unhelpful, pointless posts like tubbyscubby's.

Thank you to everyone else. Tiki may be right and it may all end soon and I will sing a different tune but I don't want to give up straight away without knowing how it could have turned out. I'm young enough (and foolish enough perhaps) to take my chances.

Good luck Masomenos, you will do okay I'm sure....