Love Jones for a Virgo Man by a Cancer Woman

I met a wonderful Virgo man January of this year. Our first dates were wonderful. He was anxious to have sex in the very beginning which aroused my cautious nature. I didn't give in to sex even though his many advances were very hard to resist. I did allow him to perform limited oral sex on me because he was so persistent. I explained to him I thought it was too early in our relationship to have sex. Needless to say things cooled off a bit after I didn't give in to his advances. We talked frequently some weeks and infrequently some other weeks. One evening I called him and asked what were his thoughts concerning me as a woman. He stated he liked me for "everything". My intellect and he was attracted to me sexually but only wanted a friendship (of course with benefits). Shortly after that conversation we had a beautiful encounter one evening and morning. Then things went back to the infrequent and frequent contact. I initiated another phone call and asked him to come over to talk. I WAS NOT going to have the confrontational talk with him regarding us. My thoughts were to tell him how much I adored him and would like to pursue more than a friendship. Well unfortunately we didn't have the talk because as soon as he arrived he received a phone call and needed to leave. He still wanted to pursue the conversation with me but I declined because knowing he had to leave made me feel rushed to spill out my words and I knew his full attention was not there. He called the next day and seemed very concern about what I wanted to say. I then took the "Cancer" way out and I told him that my feelings were getting too intense so I thought it best we just not talk for a while until I feel more in control of my feelings for him. He did not agree with me but honored my wishes. He has not called and only called because he needed to return something to me. When he returned it to my home about a week later he restated what I previously stated to him and also stated he did not agree but he understood and would respect my wishes.

Unless I have been having an outer body experience since I met this Virgo man from the moments of our first date to our first intimate encounter to infrequent contact to no contact and NOW to nothing. This Virgo man "GOT" me. I miss talking to him. How does his Virgo mind perceive my actions? Please help.

You're gonna have to look elsewhere if you want someone to play the "Chase & Catch" game because a VirGuy won't play.

Sorry, luv 🙂

"actually he is technically handicapped... he cant read your signals, talk to him...


the word is C.O.M.M.U.N.I.C.A.T.E."

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It's the only way .. "How does his Virgo mind perceive my actions?" .. he doesn't, you have to talk to him.

"How does his Virgo mind perceive my actions?"

He sees you as an overly complicated pain in the arse.

To elaborate, you being wishy washy and unsure about the sexual desire probably turned him off. He was probably willing to look passed it until it was apparent he wouldn't be able to get passed it. My inner virgo (mars and venus) is what led me to make the remark I did. Sex can be more to me, and often is than just sex. But it comes with physical need, and at some point like in the situation you described, the bennifits far outweigh the return.....which is another point, your dealing with what should be a very practical, analytical and particular person. If there is a tipping of the scales so to speak unfavorably in the return department he will notice it and move on.

I was in an almost identical situation witha Cancer female who I had a lot of chemistry with but her actions and feelings which where exactly the same as yours had me saying "screw it, it's not worth it". there is this feeling that even if we get what we desire were going to pay for it in the end with emotional insecrurity. And I am not talking about just sex, I am talking about the whole romantic aspect. And I am a Libra sun and moon so I am a very patient and empathetic person but cancer women universally stretch even the libran patience and understanding real thin real quick.

Your only real hope that is fair to both you and him is to become transparent and let go. If you want to be with him you want to be with him and that entails everything that goes along with it. Including some male hormone driven down and dirty just for the sake of the down and dirty at times.

Thanks to everyone for your candid advice. I especially agree with Nicodemus. I just blew it with this wonderful Virgo guy. The chemistry was so strong and I had not experienced that NOT in a long time BUT EVER! I think it scared me and I truly came off as wishy washy and unpredictable. I didn't know then but since my experience I have studied the characteristics of a Virgo Man and NOW "a day late and and opportunity short" I realize the error of my ways.

I am for sure he's gone so I'm left with my "Love Jones all down on ME"
I think of calling him everyday and telling him how I feel. At this point as Nicodemus said he's most likely put me in the 'too emotionally' high debt category.

A painful lesson indeed on this one. Thanks again guys.

Wow, it sounds like you are comfortable with yourself in this situation. Your welcome for the response. I think that your emotional heavyness, and loadedness while not good for this situation, it is still you and you should be who you are. there are other signs out there that will take these aspects of yours in stride, like Pisces and Scorp and maybe even Leo....but I think a Virgo would get stifled by it.

Yes, Nicodemus I have no choice but to settle with it and put it in the "lesson learned category", take a little time and then move on. Can't help saying it is so hard to do without conversations with him. I absolutely loved talking to him. His intellect would always leave me anticipating the next conversation. Oh well, no since dwelling in the past (we Cancers are good for that).

Thanks for tips on the other signs have never dated a Scorpio or a Pisces? Hmmm, definetly food for thought. I was married to a Leo for 14 years?

One thing is for sure whomever I am priviledged to meet in the future. I will be sure to do my homework (in rhythm) before going out to play.

Yes Virgo's are really interresting people who have a lot to give. And it is good for them that they give it on their own specific terms otherwise people would use and abuse them.

You would probably do best with another "feeling" sign, especially if you have more water and fire in your chart than earth or air who are the "thinking" signs. They don't give the kind of respect to emotions that you do naturally, and will see your traits as bennificial rather than complicating like air or earth signs will. They will take it in stride because they will be on the same page.