My Virgo boyfriend dilema

Dyr or other virgo:

posted on another thread - my virgo boyfriend of 4 months seems to be giving me mixed messages/feelings. He calls me 4+ times a day and every night to say goodnight yet we only see each other on HIS terms. He says his son has some problems and he also needs time to himself when he is not with his son. We saw each other several times a week before and then it became once a week for only maybe several hours. He says his time seeing me may get worse sometimes once a week sometimes not at all that week. Since I had complained before knowing about his son about our time together, he said I needed to decide if I wanted to accept the way things are or will be or move on.

This last week, he is looking for flooring and told me to come by his house to help him and also wants me to help pick more stuff out sat.

Im confused. Is this a typical virgo trait? BEing a scorp I need more order in my life. How do I get quality time with this guy? What the heck is going on here? How do i capture this guys heart and have him think about me some?

"not knowing about his son"

Yup .. it's typical.

which part p angel?

Thanks dyr - I just have a feeling about this guy and maybe Im too pushy. Do virgos not like that? Why does he call me so many times during the day if he doesnt care? And why cant he have both, family matters and a relationship? I told him any woman would feel the same way, right?

dyr - you are talking about a guy who when I first met him professed he loved me only after several weeks - here's the problem, scorp's do not break up with people easily either, unless they are totally pushed out or fed up - and he is still calling, still giving me a bad time about being with my friends and where we hang out - asking me how many numbers I got when i went out to the club with me friends, how many drinks I had. do virgs get jealous?

"I hate it for you, but I think he's trying to tell you to move on - Virgs don't like to break up a relationship, so we'll urge you to do it..."

.. they are aware of messing around .. they will intentionally push your buttons .. til you get fed up .. tired .. confused .. just to turn you off .. push you away .. especially if he doesn't love you enough .. poor little thing ..

he cares for you so much to let you go .. 'coz he knows that you can't be happy with him .. talk about low self-esteem .. sooner or later .. you'll be losing yours too ..

yes vgirl low self esteem - that's why the confusion - I dont think he knows how to feel and has been let down in relationships before. If he's trying to let me go, why the calls as I mentioned before and why call to get me to help look at flooring—?? why not just NOT CALL at all??

"he said I needed to decide if I wanted to accept the way things are or will be or move on."

* In other words ... his way or the highway .. no meeting in the middle, no considerations for anyone except him and his life.

"Why does he call me so many times during the day if he doesnt care? And why cant he have both, family matters and a relationship?"

* To keep you hanging on, so long as he keeps calling, you might keep giving in to him and HIS WAY .. when he has you still hanging on, he then does such things as ....

"he is still calling, still giving me a bad time about being with my friends and where we hang out - asking me how many numbers I got when i went out to the club with me friends, how many drinks I had."


* benice .. If I were in your position .. I'd swim my ass off, as fast as my little fins would wiggle.

You can either change your whole life around to suit him, or leave .. thats the only option he is willing to entertain, it appears. Kind of makes you have a better understanding why he gets let down past relationships, doesn't it? Perhaps, it was him doing the let-down, such as we see here.

p-angel - is your virgo the same way? what a yoyo.

Thanks Dyr - I probably didnt tell you his son is 22 and does not live with him, don't know if that makes a difference. Well, I thought virgs and scorps were suppose to get along according to him.

He gets real upset if I have other plans and he says he wants to do something. When I ask him what we were going to do, he says too bad you missed out. He seems somewhat mean to me.

I do not want to break up with him if he still loves me. He says people can change. i dunno

dyr - if I just take charge of the relationship and lose him, I guess what do I have to lose.

Yes all I know, I know, it seems so. I doubt seriously I will make a move soon - i need more pounding I guess, it will be much easier to let go. He knows I love him so uses it against me.

Thanks for all the advice- if you have any more they are welcome.

i bet if he is in your shoes he'd feel the same way ..

what is it to love when the one you are trying to love is unavailable? .. or let's say .. is pushing you away .. how can you love someone who's such?

i know that what we feel only matters to us .. but it's what we do to the people with whom we say we love .. that's what matters .. and it's the only thing that counts ..

change your number and cut all the connections as much as possible .. you have a life to live .. he has his OWN life to live .. maybe he can focus more on his priorities .. and so are you .. it's your call ..

trust me i really think he doesn't love you enough .. so let's just put it this way to be fair .. if you think he loves you .. and that he truly loves you .. then what's bothering you?

To add upon what was said already and I totally don't mean to be a cock here.

Repeat your following words....
"He knows I love him so uses it against me. "

Be done with it and move on.

I agree move on. Virgo's will do absolutely what they damn please, if you settle.

i think that your virgo boy .. thinks that your love is something like an emotional blackmail for him .. that's how i see the situation .. poor little thing ..

again .. "happily ever after" are for idealists and dreamers .. not realists or critical thinkers ..

Thanx virgos for all the great advice - I changed my attitude about my virg man and just decided I didnt give a da-hoot, left him alone, whenever he called, never mentioned spending time with him, sorta like a friend more. LOL, Then suddenly virg wanted to spend time with me Friday but at last minute needed to be with son, then Sat decided to bring son with him to visit me. Hhhmmm, do we see a little yoyo effect here? Then today, Sunday plan to hook up a few for some luven.

Explain this if you can virgos.

how much longer are you willing to play the game? it's better if it's unintentional .. but if it's intentional .. i don't think it's acceptable ..

do you want a relationship or a part-time relationship? .. how does he treat you? is he playing the game right, knowing all the rules? .. is he a husband/bf material? .. from everything i read in here .. seems like your boy is not a good catch at all .. not worth it .. time, effort, energy ..

maybe by turning tables .. like ignoring him .. by being busy with alot of things (excluding him) .. letting him feel the distance .. that you have changed .. let him take a dose of his own medicine .. then move on .. i just hope you'll never look back .. most likely he'll come up with his own illusion .. that you don't love him anymore .. or maybe he's not ready yet .. ready for what? .. when will he be ready? .. perhaps he's waiting for the time .. when he's ready to stop worrying .. poor kid ..

this love story sounds more like a story for teenie-boppers .. *sigh*

I just told my virgo guy how i felt about him ironically in a text, that way he couldnt argue with me, I said my piece in a very calm honest way. All of a sudden, he seems to be ok at spending time with he and his son. Also on Sunday I suggested the "get together" and he agreed.

Him and his buddies went on a road trip "harley" he made sure to call me before he left and right as he stepped in the door when he returned.

All this attentiveness makes me think he likes me. I'll stay around a little longer, see how things progress, since Im on the edge anyway, it may not be such a shock when it does end.

It's not so much I want to play games with him. My scorp personality is impatient and I tend to move on quickly if I do not think the guy is willing to commit. My scorp intuition is keeping me with this one for a while.

i don't think that's being impatient at all .. you have the right to test the waters before you commit yourself into something .. you have the right to choose the partner you want in your life .. you have the right to act like that .. feel like that .. 'coz you're only human ..

i just hope it'll never be too late when you'll realize why you're wasting your time with this kind of guy .. and that you're wasting your chance to be happy ..