Needing help again with my Virgo

This is partly and update from the previous post http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=1843216<BR> and also a cry for help.

Still seeing this Virgo..going on 3 months..Things took a change for the better a couple weeks ago. He asked me to meet friends and family and was calling and texting more often. Not wanting me to go when I had to leave. We spent about 4 days together while he was off. He seemed very happy and content.

He is starting to get quiet again. Not calling or texting. I have been wanting to talk to him about our relationship because we really don't discuss it much.. On our date the other night, he just seemed distant, not a loving as usual. Just different. He hasn't been online much and turns his phone off from time to time. We never have really talked about our feelings, just subtle hints..
After our date the other night,I told him I wanted to talk to him and I just blurted out the question "Are we seeing other people or not"?..He said.."If youre seeing other people then youre not seeing me anymore"..I told him I wasn't and didn't want to..He said "Why do you ask then"? I told him that when we first started seeing each other that it was mainly for fun and that I had developed feelings for him and just needed to know where we were...He said that he wasn't seeing anyone and didn't want to..I told him that I have told all others that I have someone that I care about..He agreed that he needed more from the relationship than just a friend with benefits type thing.. Does this sound like he really means it?

But he is still being quiet and withdrawn..I want to give him more but am afraid..Sometimes he acts like he wants it and sometimes he don't..How am I supposed to know when to give more? Is this the Virgo way?

Is it possible that I am over analyzing and worrying too much? Is it possible that in his mind he thinks we are just fine and that this type of relationship is the norm for him? If I knew that he wasn't not going to leave..I would be fine without talking or texting for a few days.. I just want to know that we still have a relationship..you know?

Thanks guys..you help me keep my sanity..

Posted by LakeLady
He said that he wasn't seeing anyone and didn't want to..I told him that I have told all others that I have someone that I care about..He agreed that he needed more from the relationship than just a friend with benefits type thing.. Does this sound like he really means it?

What more do you want?
He has openly and sincerely stated his feelings to you...

But he is still being quiet and withdrawn..I want to give him more but am afraid..Sometimes he acts like he wants it and sometimes he don't..How am I supposed to know when to give more? Is this the Virgo way?

This is a common Virgo way, does not apply to all of us.
He just needs his alone time to sort his feelings and make things work in his head.
He definitely wants to be with you, please be patient.

Is it possible that I am over analyzing and worrying too much?

Gotta love rhetorical questions 🙂

Is it possible that in his mind he thinks we are just fine and that this type of relationship is the norm for him? If I knew that he wasn't not going to leave..I would be fine without talking or texting for a few days.. I just want to know that we still have a relationship..you know?

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Patience is a Virtue and Virtue is Grace.

Darn ladies..

he is not loving as usual : something is wrong with this Virgo robot.
he is all over me: something is wrong with this Virgo wuss.

Are you on overdrive again..?

One of the key words about most Virgos is the dreaded HERMIT MOOD, if you are serious about him then respect it and leave him with his own thoughts for sometimes. His behaviour has nothing to do with your relationships unless you want to make some dramatic soup out of it.

I sympathize I don't really get them either, BUT I will say this??_ I realize that my tendency to over analyze and worry has created some unnecessary friction between me and my virgo (this is not to say I am completely out of line all the time, he can be an inconsiderate a $ $ at times). However, I think we expect them to comply to what we consider —normal?? dating standards and they seem to beat to the sound of their own drum so to speak.

—He said.." If you??re seeing other people then you??re not seeing me any more"..I told him I wasn't and didn't want to.. He said "Why do you ask then"? I told him that when we first started seeing each other that it was mainly for fun and that I had developed feelings for him and just needed to know where we were...He said that he wasn't seeing anyone and didn't want to..??

Assuming he is being honest and sincere, what more do you want? Well no I KNOW what you want because I want it to : ) but understand that it is mostly YOUR insecurity that he has/is losing interest or is —just not that into you?? that is fueling your thoughts and NOT the actuality of either or these occurring.

Realize that they need their space at times. I am an earth sign as well (cappy) and I also go through these moments (turn my phone off, simply don't want to be bothered for no real reason) but these moments do not cause my feelings for my loved ones to change AT ALL. In fact I think of them frequently during these times.

Good luck, you are not alone...

Thanks for the support. So I take it that my next step would be to just sit back and wait? I don't want to push. I called him yesterday evening because he ask me too..talked a few minutes and that was the last I have heard. I don't feel the need to call or text again until he is ready to talk more and he can contact me.

I am hoping for the best..He called this evening on the way home from work..He sounded better..

He worries alot. He told me he was worried last week. Not about anything in particular, just life in general.
He seemed this way for the past week..If it is down time he needs, I can respect that..I am not a demanding person. I have my own life..
Just like to hear from him from time to time, so I will know he is okay, because I care.

He is a quiet person and I am too..that is one thing he said he likes best about me, is that I am like him in that way..so it is super hard for me to say what I feel to him. It took me all day to bring myself to tell him what I felt. I was so nervous for some reason. It seems like we are doing good with just baby steps right now..that is why I don't want to bring anything on too fast. I'm sure he has been hurt pretty bad in the past.

Posted by LakeLady


He worries alot. He told me he was worried last week. Not about anything in particular, just life in general.
He seemed this way for the past week..
He is a quiet person and I am too..

You are just confirming that he is a Virgo.

that is one thing he said he likes best about me, is that I am like him in that way..so it is super hard for me to say what I feel to him. It took me all day to bring myself to tell him what I felt. I was so nervous for some reason.

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As long as you keep the communication clear and strong, all will be well.