natural25
@natural25
16 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
Oh Good Lord!
Oh Lordie. I love my father to death! Him and I are very close. I can honestly say that he is one of my best friends. But I just hate that he put me this situation so soon and is acting as though I have absolutely lost my mind to ask any questions re: his plans. I do not mind him moving in. My dad has done so much for me! This is the least I can do. But I cant help but to think, of all weekends, why this one. I know that might sound selfish.
I just pray that he doesn't get in my business too much about this bloody party!
I just pray that he doesn't get in my business too much about this bloody party!
Hahahaha, what a predicament!
Just gently inform him of your plans and mention things in detail. He should appreciate your thoughtfulness for the guy and I do not see why it would be a problem for him to "go out" at the time of the event.
Just gently inform him of your plans and mention things in detail. He should appreciate your thoughtfulness for the guy and I do not see why it would be a problem for him to "go out" at the time of the event.
My b day is on the 3 oh yeah lol
Family comes first. At least in my mind. I would never want to put anyone in such a predicament. It may put your Virgo off, since it may seem as you value him more than your family.
Posted by Cajunspirit
Hahahaha, what a predicament!
Just gently inform him of your plans and mention things in detail. He should appreciate your thoughtfulness for the guy and I do not see why it would be a problem for him to "go out" at the time of the event.
Well this is the thing. And this is why I feel so horrible for the way that I feel - the party is not going to be at my house. It will be at my aunt's house. But I will be doing a lot of cooking at my house starting two days prior to the party and I know he will stick his nose into what I am doing. Also, the special alone time that I planned on having with the Virgo the night of his birthday shin dig will have to be post poned. Which is not the end of the world and I know that I might be being a brat. But I was just really looking forward to this weekend with no drama. I know my father. He is going to be all up in the business and giving me his OPINIONS/CRITICISMS the whole way through. Lol. I hope I am wrong.
Posted by virgoking
My b day is on the 3 oh yeah lol
Lol. So is my fathers. And the virgo's bday on the 2nd.
Posted by Virski78
Family comes first. At least in my mind. I would never want to put anyone in such a predicament. It may put your Virgo off, since it may seem as you value him more than your family.
What might make him think that I value him more than my father?
Why in the hell is your father moving in with you? I am not a meanie kind of person but I'm curious.
Don't he have friends? A girlfriend or guy friend he chill out with? It all seems pretty intrusive and fishy to me.
I know family comes first but unless your father is paying your bills I would be asking questions too.
Don't he have friends? A girlfriend or guy friend he chill out with? It all seems pretty intrusive and fishy to me.
I know family comes first but unless your father is paying your bills I would be asking questions too.
"It would not be an imposition for me to move in regards to space."
That's a backwards way of saying that you are being impositioned to aide your dad ... sorry to hear that.
"AND if I were to move in, I would not be all up in his business, like I know he will be up in mine"
Do you realize that people have different perspectives?
You haven't told him about the party for your two reasons, however, these two reasons have caused you to get up in his business because .... well for the reasons you stated as to why you are up in his business about this.
In the second quote above, you imply that you haven't gotten in his, while you are certain he would yours ... when in reality, it's the other way around.
From his perspective, alls he knows is that you are asking all these questions for no reason .. because you have failed to tell him about reason number one and reason number two ... so, he only knows a portion of the information, while being expected of something that he cannot possibly know .. because you have hidden the information from him.
If the pool party isn't in your apartment ... then why are you giving him such a hard time about it anyway?
He's your dad .. come down from your shelf, shut up and help him.
That's a backwards way of saying that you are being impositioned to aide your dad ... sorry to hear that.
"AND if I were to move in, I would not be all up in his business, like I know he will be up in mine"
Do you realize that people have different perspectives?
You haven't told him about the party for your two reasons, however, these two reasons have caused you to get up in his business because .... well for the reasons you stated as to why you are up in his business about this.
In the second quote above, you imply that you haven't gotten in his, while you are certain he would yours ... when in reality, it's the other way around.
From his perspective, alls he knows is that you are asking all these questions for no reason .. because you have failed to tell him about reason number one and reason number two ... so, he only knows a portion of the information, while being expected of something that he cannot possibly know .. because you have hidden the information from him.
If the pool party isn't in your apartment ... then why are you giving him such a hard time about it anyway?
He's your dad .. come down from your shelf, shut up and help him.
Posted by natural25
Oh Lordie. I love my father to death! Him and I are very close. I can honestly say that he is one of my best friends. But I just hate that he put me this situation so soon and is acting as though I have absolutely lost my mind to ask any questions re: his plans. I do not mind him moving in. My dad has done so much for me! This is the least I can do. But I cant help but to think, of all weekends, why this one. I know that might sound selfish.
I just pray that he doesn't get in my business too much about this bloody party!
Oh, yes .... you sound very selfish. However, that doesn't stand out as much as the blindness does.
He didn't put you in any situation. You knew he was moving in .. the timing just changed. However, this timing doesn't change anything .. that is, unless the pool is in your apartment.
What is happening here has nothign to do with the timing of your dad moving in .. because it is doubtful that you have a swimming pool on your apartment porch. This means that you were going elsewhere to have this birthday party. And you had planned on not telling your dad about the party because of reason number one and reason number two.
However, now you fear that he will find out ... and this the cause for your angst.
Why not just state the truth?
You say he is
Well I can't blame her father for not wanting her to throw a party for a guy that he probably hasn't approved with the daddy FDA approval stamp. This guy is just a boyfriend, to go through all this trouble for a pool party for a boyfriend seems a bit immature considering you 2 probably haven't been together very long. A nice happy birthday card and a cupcake would have sufficed.
"But I will be doing a lot of cooking at my house starting two days prior to the party and I know he will stick his nose into what I am doing."
Ah-ha .. I was right, then. You are worried that he is going to find out what you are up to.
You make it sound like he is being nosy .. when in reality, thus far, you are the only one putting the questions to him.
Why don't you just speak the truth?
Why is that so difficult of a task?
You've said in the OP that your dad doesn't like ta-dos for his birthdays ... so, what the fuck is the big-deal?
So, much drama ... over nothing.
"Yo dad, I'm cooking a dinner for my man, and then heading for a pool party, want me to pick you up a movie while I'm food shopping?"
How fucking hard is it to do that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ —??
Instead, you opt for the drama-entrenched route ....... to hide everything, ask a bazillion questions so you can figure out to hide things better and then come in here to stir up a pot that doesn't have to boil.
Ah-ha .. I was right, then. You are worried that he is going to find out what you are up to.
You make it sound like he is being nosy .. when in reality, thus far, you are the only one putting the questions to him.
Why don't you just speak the truth?
Why is that so difficult of a task?
You've said in the OP that your dad doesn't like ta-dos for his birthdays ... so, what the fuck is the big-deal?
So, much drama ... over nothing.
"Yo dad, I'm cooking a dinner for my man, and then heading for a pool party, want me to pick you up a movie while I'm food shopping?"
How fucking hard is it to do that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ —??
Instead, you opt for the drama-entrenched route ....... to hide everything, ask a bazillion questions so you can figure out to hide things better and then come in here to stir up a pot that doesn't have to boil.
Posted by tiki33
Well I can't blame her father for not wanting her to throw a party for a guy that he probably hasn't approved with the daddy FDA approval stamp. This guy is just a boyfriend, to go through all this trouble for a pool party for a boyfriend seems a bit immature considering you 2 probably haven't been together very long. A nice happy birthday card and a cupcake would have sufficed.
Good assessment, tiki.
For some time now, we have been hearing about this Virgo, and how serious this is and how much she loves him and they have this bond ... blah, blah, blah ...
.. then we find out that she is afraid to speak of him to her own father .. so, how serious is this relationship?
The Scorpio mind is so fucking warped. Serious.
Posted by tiki33
Why in the hell is your father moving in with you? I am not a meanie kind of person but I'm curious.
Don't he have friends? A girlfriend or guy friend he chill out with? It all seems pretty intrusive and fishy to me.
I know family comes first but unless your father is paying your bills I would be asking questions too.
He does have friends and a girlfriend. He told me that he does not want to put them out. hmph. Lol. Also, his girlfriend's son lives with him. Which I understand why he does not want to get in the middle of that.
Posted by natural25Posted by tiki33
Why in the hell is your father moving in with you? I am not a meanie kind of person but I'm curious.
Don't he have friends? A girlfriend or guy friend he chill out with? It all seems pretty intrusive and fishy to me.
I know family comes first but unless your father is paying your bills I would be asking questions too.
He does have friends and a girlfriend. He told me that he does not want to put them out. hmph. Lol. Also, his girlfriend's son lives with him. Which I understand why he does not want to get in the middle of that.click to expand
Were is your dad's girlfriend going to stay? I dunno it seems daddy is just looking for a reason to be all up in your business and space, if I were a man I would not feel comfortable staying at my grown ass daughters apartment that is under 800sq ft total LOL
You have your own life and can't be baby sitting papa, hell he should get a cheap hotel room and call it day now to me that is trying NOT to be intrusive....I think someone may have been secretly tipping daddy off about the boyfriend and he's itching to get in their to see what this boyfriend mess is really all about...just a thought
Also why throw a party? You know this party throwing business could be the END of your relationship, women do way too much for men and it usually turns them off...just saying
Don't be surprised if he pulls the let's just be friend's card out a few days/weeks after the party
Posted by P-Angel
"It would not be an imposition for me to move in regards to space."
That's a backwards way of saying that you are being impositioned to aide your dad ... sorry to hear that.
"AND if I were to move in, I would not be all up in his business, like I know he will be up in mine"
Do you realize that people have different perspectives?
You haven't told him about the party for your two reasons, however, these two reasons have caused you to get up in his business because .... well for the reasons you stated as to why you are up in his business about this.
In the second quote above, you imply that you haven't gotten in his, while you are certain he would yours ... when in reality, it's the other way around.
From his perspective, alls he knows is that you are asking all these questions for no reason .. because you have failed to tell him about reason number one and reason number two ... so, he only knows a portion of the information, while being expected of something that he cannot possibly know .. because you have hidden the information from him.
If the pool party isn't in your apartment ... then why are you giving him such a hard time about it anyway?
He's your dad .. come down from your shelf, shut up and help him.
I just asked him when did he think he was going to acutally start moving in and he got crazy. Lol. Which is typical but still annoying non the less. I asked him this b/c I do have the right to know (party or no party) b/c it is my place and I wanted to know when I should start to clear stuff out. As I mentioned I barely have enough space in my closets for my own clothes. I wanted to get an idea of his timeline. So, I would know when to get ready and when and if I would need to be home.
I did mention to him a while back that i was THINKING about throwing him a party and he blew up. This is why I decided to not fully disclose the details.
I am not giving him hard time. He blew up on me before I could give him a hard time. Lol. that is what also baffles me about the situation. He went off on me as though i was asking him for a favor. Lol. these Virgos...
Yes PA, he is my father who I love. He is all I have and at the end of the day, of course, I am going to "shut up and help him".
Posted by P-AngelPosted by natural25
Oh Lordie. I love my father to death! Him and I are very close. I can honestly say that he is one of my best friends. But I just hate that he put me this situation so soon and is acting as though I have absolutely lost my mind to ask any questions re: his plans. I do not mind him moving in. My dad has done so much for me! This is the least I can do. But I cant help but to think, of all weekends, why this one. I know that might sound selfish.
I just pray that he doesn't get in my business too much about this bloody party!
Oh, yes .... you sound very selfish. However, that doesn't stand out as much as the blindness does.
He didn't put you in any situation. You knew he was moving in .. the timing just changed. However, this timing doesn't change anything .. that is, unless the pool is in your apartment.
What is happening here has nothign to do with the timing of your dad moving in .. because it is doubtful that you have a swimming pool on your apartment porch. This means that you were going elsewhere to have this birthday party. And you had planned on not telling your dad about the party because of reason number one and reason number two.
However, now you fear that he will find out ... and this the cause for your angst.
Why not just state the truth?
You say he isclick to expand
My father's mouth is ustoppable! I did not want to hear it. It's really simple as that. I tried to tell him before the plans went into fruition, and he jumped down my throat. If he would just accept my plans, and not harp on it for days, I would not have any issue with telling him the nitty gritty.
Posted by tiki33
Well I can't blame her father for not wanting her to throw a party for a guy that he probably hasn't approved with the daddy FDA approval stamp. This guy is just a boyfriend, to go through all this trouble for a pool party for a boyfriend seems a bit immature considering you 2 probably haven't been together very long. A nice happy birthday card and a cupcake would have sufficed.
Your opinion. I do not think that what I am doing with his best firend is immature. I also, love throwing parties and entertaining. I enjoy organizing events and parties. I think it is a nice gesture and hopefully he will feel the same way. He has also done plenty of overly generous and thoughful things for me in the time that we have dated which makes me feel completely comfortable with what I am doing. In fact, I am enjoying planning the party.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by tiki33
Well I can't blame her father for not wanting her to throw a party for a guy that he probably hasn't approved with the daddy FDA approval stamp. This guy is just a boyfriend, to go through all this trouble for a pool party for a boyfriend seems a bit immature considering you 2 probably haven't been together very long. A nice happy birthday card and a cupcake would have sufficed.
Good assessment, tiki.
For some time now, we have been hearing about this Virgo, and how serious this is and how much she loves him and they have this bond ... blah, blah, blah ...
.. then we find out that she is afraid to speak of him to her own father .. so, how serious is this relationship?
The Scorpio mind is so fucking warped. Serious.click to expand
I never said that I loved him. I do care about him. I do enjoy spendingtime with him. I do hope things work out. I do not love him.
My father DOES know about him. He knows almost everything about him. I just did not go into detail about this ONE isolated incident. THIS ONE ISOLATED INCIDENT. I will repat my father DOES know about him. He just does not know the DEATILS about the party.
But honestly, I did not HAVE to tell him details about the party. It is my business.
Your still young, I know how you feel, been there done that, planned etc so I am not going to convince you how your actions will come across in the end when REALITY sets in and it all begins to all fall apart and he's suddenly down with ONEITIS and gets cold feet and he can't find one good thing about why he wants to stay trust me you throwing a party nor your generosity will not be a deciding factor in why he needs to be with you and most likely be the reason he runs away, it would have been better if his best friend planned the party and you showed up, women exert way too much energy in boyfriends and wonder why they get dumped. I wish you luck, I know you will have a blast...I was your age once so I know how set in our ways we can be, it's better to make mistakes and learn from them...you will learn
Your father must not care too much for the dude if he know about him and would object to you throwing a party....
Your father must not care too much for the dude if he know about him and would object to you throwing a party....
Posted by natural25Posted by P-AngelPosted by tiki33
Well I can't blame her father for not wanting her to throw a party for a guy that he probably hasn't approved with the daddy FDA approval stamp. This guy is just a boyfriend, to go through all this trouble for a pool party for a boyfriend seems a bit immature considering you 2 probably haven't been together very long. A nice happy birthday card and a cupcake would have sufficed.
Good assessment, tiki.
For some time now, we have been hearing about this Virgo, and how serious this is and how much she loves him and they have this bond ... blah, blah, blah ...
.. then we find out that she is afraid to speak of him to her own father .. so, how serious is this relationship?
The Scorpio mind is so fucking warped. Serious.
I never said that I loved him. I do care about him. I do enjoy spendingtime with him. I do hope things work out. I do not love him.
My father DOES know about him. He knows almost everything about him. I just did not go into detail about this ONE isolated incident. THIS ONE ISOLATED INCIDENT. I will repat my father DOES know about him. He just does not know the DEATILS about the party.
But honestly, I did not HAVE to tell him details about the party. It is my business.click to expand
Alright, alright .... I'm wrong.
Make note .. it doesn't happen often.
"I never said that I loved him. I do care about him. I do enjoy spendingtime with him. I do hope things work out. I do not love him."
However, you must know by now that I will do extensive research to find out if you ever said it .... and if a post is hidden during a conversation in which you were talking about your fondness for him .. then this will be suspect that you went back and hide it because you know I'm looking.
However, you must know by now that I will do extensive research to find out if you ever said it .... and if a post is hidden during a conversation in which you were talking about your fondness for him .. then this will be suspect that you went back and hide it because you know I'm looking.
TIKI:"Were is your dad's girlfriend going to stay? I dunno it seems daddy is just looking for a reason to be all up in your business and space, if I were a man I would not feel comfortable staying at my grown ass daughters apartment that is under 800sq ft total LOL
You have your own life and can't be baby sitting papa, hell he should get a cheap hotel room and call it day now to me that is trying NOT to be intrusive....I think someone may have been secretly tipping daddy off about the boyfriend and he's itching to get in their to see what this boyfriend mess is really all about...just a thought
Also why throw a party? You know this party throwing business could be the END of your relationship, women do way too much for men and it usually turns them off...just saying"
My dad and his g/f do not live together. I do not think that he is doing this TO get in my business. He would not go through all of this, I think he is doing this to save money for 2 weeks. But I do think he will inevitably get in my business while being there.
As far as the party, if what you predict does happen, then it happens. Let's just hope that you are wrong and he is appreciative to me and his best friend and everyone has a good time, b/c I know we all here at DXP wish nothing but the best for folks, right. 🙂
You have your own life and can't be baby sitting papa, hell he should get a cheap hotel room and call it day now to me that is trying NOT to be intrusive....I think someone may have been secretly tipping daddy off about the boyfriend and he's itching to get in their to see what this boyfriend mess is really all about...just a thought
Also why throw a party? You know this party throwing business could be the END of your relationship, women do way too much for men and it usually turns them off...just saying"
My dad and his g/f do not live together. I do not think that he is doing this TO get in my business. He would not go through all of this, I think he is doing this to save money for 2 weeks. But I do think he will inevitably get in my business while being there.
As far as the party, if what you predict does happen, then it happens. Let's just hope that you are wrong and he is appreciative to me and his best friend and everyone has a good time, b/c I know we all here at DXP wish nothing but the best for folks, right. 🙂
Posted by P-Angel
"I never said that I loved him. I do care about him. I do enjoy spendingtime with him. I do hope things work out. I do not love him."
However, you must know by now that I will do extensive research to find out if you ever said it .... and if a post is hidden during a conversation in which you were talking about your fondness for him .. then this will be suspect that you went back and hide it because you know I'm looking.
LMAO!! Oh Oh P patrol on the loose
Here's something you need to think about .... seriously.
If you cannot handle your Virgo father, what makes you think you will be able to handle a Virgo man, if you two actually become a couple?
I promise you ........ he will be much, much worse than your father because spouses always get the brunt of it .... that's the way life works.
You need to really think about this, for real ..... a Virgo husband is fucking hell when he's on a high-horse, there will no justification in hiding things for protection because it will be interpretated as lying.
Seriously ........ perhaps you should step aside for a second and ponder how you cannot handle a Virgo.
If you cannot handle your Virgo father, what makes you think you will be able to handle a Virgo man, if you two actually become a couple?
I promise you ........ he will be much, much worse than your father because spouses always get the brunt of it .... that's the way life works.
You need to really think about this, for real ..... a Virgo husband is fucking hell when he's on a high-horse, there will no justification in hiding things for protection because it will be interpretated as lying.
Seriously ........ perhaps you should step aside for a second and ponder how you cannot handle a Virgo.
Still though .. I don't see why you are so afraid of having a boyfriend around your father.
Posted by P-Angel
"I never said that I loved him. I do care about him. I do enjoy spendingtime with him. I do hope things work out. I do not love him."
However, you must know by now that I will do extensive research to find out if you ever said it .... and if a post is hidden during a conversation in which you were talking about your fondness for him .. then this will be suspect that you went back and hide it because you know I'm looking.
Lol! OMG! Yes, girl! Girl prove me wrong! Find out where I have said I love him, so you can throw it back in my face. The only thing is that you will not b/c I have never said that I love him b/c I do not feel that way. If i did, I would just say it. Thus far, I have been upfront with the way I feel about things. Regardless, if you agree with something that I think/feel or not I am not going to lie about it.
Posted by tiki33
Your still young, I know how you feel, been there done that, planned etc so I am not going to convince you how your actions will come across in the end when REALITY sets in and it all begins to all fall apart and he's suddenly down with ONEITIS and gets cold feet and he can't find one good thing about why he wants to stay trust me you throwing a party nor your generosity will not be a deciding factor in why he needs to be with you and most likely be the reason he runs away, it would have been better if his best friend planned the party and you showed up, women exert way too much energy in boyfriends and wonder why they get dumped. I wish you luck, I know you will have a blast...I was your age once so I know how set in our ways we can be, it's better to make mistakes and learn from them...you will learn
Your father must not care too much for the dude if he know about him and would object to you throwing a party....
I am not going to debate about what will happen in the future.
I will say that my father has the habot of criticising everyone. He actually likes the Virgo. As I stated in my previous post, the root of the issue is that his birthday is around the same time (and although he has not allowed me to throw parties in the past for him) he will find a way for his feelings to be hurt about it. It is weird how my father is.
AND my dad is really critical, period. I will give you an example. I am in a book club. A few months ago, it was my turn to host. I made my infamous mac and chesse, which costs about $ 40 to make for about 12 people. When I told him I was making the mac and cheese you would have thought that I told him that i was going to run away to be in the circus. He made this GIGNTIC deal about how expensive it is and how I should not be spending that type of money on food. Mind you it was a potluck and everyone who brought a main course probably spent around that much. Not to mention, how much people had spend in the past spent on liquor, etc. He just likes to complain.
Posted by P-Angel
Here's something you need to think about .... seriously.
If you cannot handle your Virgo father, what makes you think you will be able to handle a Virgo man, if you two actually become a couple?
I promise you ........ he will be much, much worse than your father because spouses always get the brunt of it .... that's the way life works.
You need to really think about this, for real ..... a Virgo husband is fucking hell when he's on a high-horse, there will no justification in hiding things for protection because it will be interpretated as lying.
Seriously ........ perhaps you should step aside for a second and ponder how you cannot handle a Virgo.
I completely agree! I have thought about this in the past. I can handle my father. It really is non of his business about the party. So, I do not have to tell him anything about what I am doing with this party. Now, if the Virgo and I were to get married, we would have a different relationships where i would HAVE to share these types of things with him and I would. I dont have to do this with my father. So, why go through it if I dont have to. Lol. By being raised by a Virgo male, i know what Iam getting myself into.
LMAO@ When I told him I was making the mac and cheese you would have thought that I told him that i was going to run away to be in the circus.
Awww it's nice having a concerned papa, annoying but nice, although critical he cares and he's in your life, your lucky
Also I am not debating the future, I am saying as I say to all the women I help on DXP and off that behaving in a way may feel good to you but scare the hell out of him, if a woman isn't conscious of her actions she could be the cause of her relationship not working out, I am saying be careful with the giving, I am not trying to douse water on your flame but throwing parties for a boyfriend is HUGE, it's a big deal and if done too soon could kill his attraction not appeal to it, he may not let on to to his REAL feelings until he's decided he's DONE and ready to get out...so just tread careful when dating a man, what feels right to YOU is not always RIGHT for HIM.
Awww it's nice having a concerned papa, annoying but nice, although critical he cares and he's in your life, your lucky
Also I am not debating the future, I am saying as I say to all the women I help on DXP and off that behaving in a way may feel good to you but scare the hell out of him, if a woman isn't conscious of her actions she could be the cause of her relationship not working out, I am saying be careful with the giving, I am not trying to douse water on your flame but throwing parties for a boyfriend is HUGE, it's a big deal and if done too soon could kill his attraction not appeal to it, he may not let on to to his REAL feelings until he's decided he's DONE and ready to get out...so just tread careful when dating a man, what feels right to YOU is not always RIGHT for HIM.
Posted by P-Angel
Still though .. I don't see why you are so afraid of having a boyfriend around your father.
Lordie, PA. I do not mind him being around my father. I do not mind talking to my father about him. I just did not share the details aboutt THIS PARTY b/c i did not want to hear my father's mouth about the party not about him as a man but about the PARTY. Thats IT! In fact, i want them to be around each other. I have no problem with that. He always has me around his family and friends and I love it. I want to bring him around my folks as much as possible as well.
TIKI:"Also I am not debating the future, I am saying as I say to all the women I help on DXP and off that behaving in a way may feel good to you but scare the hell out of him, if a woman isn't conscious of her actions she could be the cause of her relationship not working out, I am saying be careful with the giving, I am not trying to douse water on your flame but throwing parties for a boyfriend is HUGE, it's a big deal and if done too soon could kill his attraction not appeal to it, he may not let on to to his REAL feelings until he's decided he's DONE and ready to get out...so just tread careful when dating a man, what feels right to YOU is not always RIGHT for HIM."
I understand where you are coming from. Thank you for sharing. Like I said, hopefully this will not be the case. this birthday was a long time in the making and at one point I decided against it. He found out I was thinknig about it and got really excited about it. Then his bestfreind contacted me and said he thought it was a really good idea. Of course, I could have still backed out. But I didnt. So, now I guess we shall see what happens.
I understand where you are coming from. Thank you for sharing. Like I said, hopefully this will not be the case. this birthday was a long time in the making and at one point I decided against it. He found out I was thinknig about it and got really excited about it. Then his bestfreind contacted me and said he thought it was a really good idea. Of course, I could have still backed out. But I didnt. So, now I guess we shall see what happens.
Who can't see that?
I am beyond projecting, I pretty much can see the forest from the trees when it come to a woman's behavior, I don't mean to cynical but I know their are certain things women are not taught about men, I seem cynical to women when they are used to behaving in ways that are comfortable to them, I am attempting to help women understand MEN, the attraction factor and how she can build it up not break it down, if that seems like projection then so let it be but I see so many women on DXP working against themselves it becomes very frustrating for me, today is one of those frustrating days, I know women are taught to give, to nurture, to go with their instincts and act up on those instincts and that is why their are so many frustrated SINGLE women because we are being taught to behave in ways that counteract what creates attraction in a man. I see it so I just speak up about it, I don't ask anyone to agree with it...I see a better way, a less frustrating way and I put it out there
What you see as projection from failed relationships is actually more like frustration from women failing to see how her actions are pushing away the very thing she desires to keep. I don't expect women to get it, hell I used to be one those women flocking with the sheep cheering on, cheer leading and edging her on to go for hers, I just throw my thoughts on it and some pick up and some don't.
I accept that I have chosen to go against my feminine instincts to be like 99% of the women on the DXP planet so I'm not going to LOOK right to you or any woman that is doing what all the other women are doing and believing in.
I am proud to say I have helped women push out of the sheep herd and create a better life for herself, cynical or not I have helped many women that don't post on DXP but follow me, I am proud of that and I am proud to say they are so much stronger and attractive emotionally mentally and physically, as long as I can help that is all that matters to me...criticism comes with the territory.
What you see as projection from failed relationships is actually more like frustration from women failing to see how her actions are pushing away the very thing she desires to keep. I don't expect women to get it, hell I used to be one those women flocking with the sheep cheering on, cheer leading and edging her on to go for hers, I just throw my thoughts on it and some pick up and some don't.
I accept that I have chosen to go against my feminine instincts to be like 99% of the women on the DXP planet so I'm not going to LOOK right to you or any woman that is doing what all the other women are doing and believing in.
I am proud to say I have helped women push out of the sheep herd and create a better life for herself, cynical or not I have helped many women that don't post on DXP but follow me, I am proud of that and I am proud to say they are so much stronger and attractive emotionally mentally and physically, as long as I can help that is all that matters to me...criticism comes with the territory.
Posted by Ms.P
Yea but you dont know her or her relationship, and are telling her she shouldnt be throwing her man a party. Perhaps you threw a man a party before, and he liked you less because of it, but there are many women out there who dont have those problems. Don't assume every woman here does.
Some women don't need to be untrue to themselves and follow your silly rules you read from some book, in order to keep a man.
I have never thrown a party for a boyfriend, I can tell when women are overfunctioning, it's her life, her relationship and she is free to do what she wants to do with it, I guess I hit a nerve with you, I don't mean to dash the fantasy women carry around about men, I must be super mindful of that, I will try to refrain from that, I don't have rules....thanks for speaking your feelings Ms.P.
Posted by Ms.P
Spare me the "I mustve hit a nerve" crap. I just always see you telling women what to do, when you really haven't a clue a lot of the time, despite all the 'how to catch and keep a man' books you've read. It just annoys me b/c there are women out there who dont need books on how to keep a man. It just comes naturally, whether you realize that or not, and your projections are often unfair (although sometimes helpful, b/c yes, women can be naive in many ways)
I can see if she sounded like one of those women who try and buy men, but she doesn't. Shes simply giving her man a party, and you're telling her thats going to make him less attracted to her lol
Oh I am not here to argue with you so whatever your issue is I'm going to leave that with you. I can appreciate your criticism and hostility, it comes with the territory, every opinion is respected by me.
Good luck w/the bbq natural. Your dad will likely find out, but just do what I do w/my parents. I smile and nod politely, and then continue to do whatever the hell I want to do. I love my parents tremendously, but they do NOT get involved w/my personal life. My dad did it one time, and rest assured, he has NEVER done it again. My mom never bothers me, cause she knows I do not like it at all. I respect my parents and I will allow them their say, but at the end of the day, I am a grown ass woman! You are a young lady, of course your dad is going to want what is best for you! I totally get that, because my parents want that for me too, and in respect to your dad thinking you spend too much $ $ my parents are exactly the same way. If they knew how much $ $ my friends and I spent going out for food/drinks, they would probably have a cow, we are from different upbringing and generations, so you do your thang girl and have fun! Whatever is gonna be with your relationship will be; enjoy the here and now, because tomorrow is promised to none of us. If you don't believe that, just watch the news or think of all the people who have passed away already this year. Not to sound morbid, but if you don't do what you want to do today, you may not have tomorrow to do it.
Ms. P. Thank you for your input. I appreciate tiki as well for her sharing her point of view. Of course, I do not KNOW what will happen after this party. He could very well be turned off, we could married, we could break up in a month due to a completely unrelated issue, we could, we could, we could. There are numerous ways this can end up. I understand that tiki is speaking from what she has experienced, seen and feels to be true. I also agree with Ms. P that what might be true for some is not true for all and is not gospel. I don't understand when ppl speak in such definite terms re: the future. But hey, right or wrong we all have our opinions. Yes ms. P is right I am throwing him the party to do something nice for him. It might come back to bite me in the butt. Or it may not. I don't think that anyone can say with 100% certainty. At this point all I can do is have the dang thing (too late to back out...I wouldn't dare do that), have a good time and not worry about it.
Thanks sc! Yea I'm going to tell him tomorrow or Wednesday. Grin and bear his lecturing and the be done with it. Bless his heart he cares and I appreciate him so much! Its just....agghh. lol. It will be fine. Maybe I will get lucky and he will find a way to stay at his current place until he moves. If not, it is what it is. It might be fun having a roomie for a couple wks. Lol.
hahahaha, my goodness. I love tiki, yes I do.
Woman has a way with words but you are indeed my favorite woman who has a way with words.
Most women who don't like others giving advice certainly don't know how to take you. I think we bonded when they crazy taurus chick was on the cap boards. I glad I give her a piece of my mind when I did, all that bullshit for no reason. My goodness.
Woman has a way with words but you are indeed my favorite woman who has a way with words.
Most women who don't like others giving advice certainly don't know how to take you. I think we bonded when they crazy taurus chick was on the cap boards. I glad I give her a piece of my mind when I did, all that bullshit for no reason. My goodness.
Posted by natural25
Ms. P. Thank you for your input. I appreciate tiki as well for her sharing her point of view. Of course, I do not KNOW what will happen after this party. He could very well be turned off, we could married, we could break up in a month due to a completely unrelated issue, we could, we could, we could. There are numerous ways this can end up. I understand that tiki is speaking from what she has experienced, seen and feels to be true. I also agree with Ms. P that what might be true for some is not true for all and is not gospel. I don't understand when ppl speak in such definite terms re: the future. But hey, right or wrong we all have our opinions. Yes ms. P is right I am throwing him the party to do something nice for him. It might come back to bite me in the butt. Or it may not. I don't think that anyone can say with 100% certainty. At this point all I can do is have the dang thing (too late to back out...I wouldn't dare do that), have a good time and not worry about it.
Well, you know that if it comes back to bite you in the butt, it is indeed on you and you know what works and what doesn't work, so therefore, you learn something 😉
And yeah, tiki is just trying to help. She and this leo lady -- I can't recall her username -- are some of the best ones to get advice from.
"And yeah, tiki is just trying to help. She and this leo lady -- I can't recall her username -- are some of the best ones to get advice from."
lol ..... not really surprised, you aren't exactly bright.
lol ..... not really surprised, you aren't exactly bright.
Posted by P-Angel
"And yeah, tiki is just trying to help. She and this leo lady -- I can't recall her username -- are some of the best ones to get advice from."
lol ..... not really surprised, you aren't exactly bright.
Oh, we are resulting in cheap shots, when did you start 'trying' to be cute 😉
Woman you've got some nerve talking about someone's intelligence level. Seriously, you do LOL!!!!
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