signs of increasing virgo intimacy

Given my great lack of understanding when it comes to the virguy psyche, I thought I'd toss this out there for general consumption... How can you tell when a virgo is starting to care for you and/or intimacy is growing in a relationship?

The standard response always seems to be "he starts taking care of you." Can we move beyond that? Yes, they start taking care of you, but what else?

Here are some concrete things that I'm trying to interpret without letting my vision of what I'd like to see (as opposed to actual reality) getting in the way...

1. What does it mean when virguys start creating little pet names for women? I've found my virgo has started to call me cutesy names (e.g., mouse, burrito) when we're saying goodbye to each other. We don't have pet names that we use with regularity, but he's almost always including something really cute and charming now.

2. How much of a compliment is it when a virguy shares a deeply painful memory of the past with you? With this one, my virguy told me a story in a very matter of fact, non-emotional way. The content of the story, however, was absolutely horrifying.

I'm not going to share his story here, but to give you some idea imagine a woman telling you about a rape in the following way (I haven't been raped and don't intend to diminish that tragedy by putting it in these terms) - I was walking down the street and this guy grabbed me and held a knife to my throat and pulled me into an alley. He raped me and then I used my cell phone to call the police. I went to the hospital and then went home.

If I'm wondering how much it matters that he shared an intimate story with me, do I look at the way he told it (mechanically) or the content of the story itself (deeply personal)?

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That's it when it comes to the specifics, but I'd love to hear more generally about what people think the signs to look for are and how virguys show increasing affection. I know there's no definitive checklist, but I'm so dense when it comes to anything that doesn't involve a declarative sentence that I'd really appreciate the help.

Hi V-Lady : )

My experience is limited to my Virguy but I can tell you...he doesn't share a lot of personal things with anyone outside of his immediate circle of friends-and he only includes very few in the number he considers "true" friends. It took a long time to establish trust with him-and he shares things with me quite a bit now. So I would say that your Virgo man trusts you-which is pretty awesome. I think most Virgo men are very cautious about who they trust and confide in.

The pet names-again-I think he feels comfortable with you and affectionate and is showing you by calling you cute names. I think it is a way of establishing a connection that is unique to just the 2 of you.

If I had to guess-it sounds like he really likes you and is starting to trust you to some extent. : )

Just to put my above question in context... After he shared those intimate details with me and after we spent a few days talking a lot, he's disappeared again.

I know he'll be back calling and seeing me soon (given his previous disappearance acts of anywhere between 4 days and a week, I'd say mid-week or so). He does this getting close and pulling away thing pretty regularly and I know there's always an end to it, but damn. He's worth the wait and I'm handling it well, but that back and forth does a real number on my sense of security.

Can you see why I'd need to double check and find out if what I think I'm seeing is actually correct?

Sure-I can definitely see where you might need the reassurance-especially if the relationship is new-ish. Virgo men seem to need a lot of alone time. Patience is tough-believe me-I can totally relate the disappearing and resurfacing days later, and acting as if you just spoke an hour ago : ).

Maybe he is a little freaked about having shared with you something so personal and is just taking his time, and waiting to see how you handle this information. Like I said-I think he trusts you, and that in itself is a big step.

FWIW, one of my two Master's is in psychology, so...

1. What does it mean when virguys start creating little pet names for women?

Any couple who starts using pet names and/or baby talk with each other is shifting from casual dating to a more serious LTR -- Signs don't matter. VirGuys are Mercury-ruled, with a gift for word-play, and we'll use it when we really like you to create all sorts of pet names JUST FOR YOU. Think about them, and you'll see they key in to some aspect of your personality that he has uncovered...

2. How much of a compliment is it when a virguy shares a deeply painful memory of the past with you?

The more we share, the more we trust you. The more we trust you, the more we love you. I don't let anyone inside my Circle Of Trust until I know they're worthy -- only my Scorp is more guarded than I am.

In general, we SHOW our love through actions more than flowery romantic talk. EXCEPT -- we can write some powerful, emotional, and erotic love letters. Truth: After I told my Scorp about my DXP stuff, she had me print off some of the early, highly-charged, graphically honest posts, and she keeps these with the love letters I've written.

But yes, the more we care, the more we want to do (practical) things for you.

Thanks for all your insights. Everyone's been right on the mark.

What I'm struggling with at the moment is that his actions are indicating one thing, but he's saying something that seems to be different.

Here's an example... He's just told me that he's going to be moving out of state in April. I knew this was coming, but had only anticipated him leaving in August. I'm upset to the point where I start crying and tell him so (we're chatting online). That gets us into this long, but not at all dramatic, discussion. He comes out with "I have gotten attached in some ways. I think of you a good bit. I am pretty limited emotionally though."

So taking that at face value, he's telling me that he likes me as a person but that he's not interested in anything more than a friendship that includes sex. That's fine. I absolutely adore him, but if that's what's on offer, I'll accept it (at least until I find it becomes uncomfortable for me and I need something more).

If I think about what he does, though, it's a completely different story. He's becoming so open emotionally in terms of the things that he tells me about himself (the stuff really is personal). Sex is noticeably intimate and increasingly tender. He has little jealous/anxious fits when I'm not available to chat with him online (which are always followed by a day of passive aggressive, ego-wounded silence).

Granted, it's not much to work with. This is taking "reading the tea leaves" to a whole new level. I don't for a second believe he's indifferent to me. I just have no idea how far removed from indifferent he is.

Argh!!!!!

You'll know he loves you when he cleans your house and does your taxes.

My virgo told me about his problems with his xgf. According to a mutual friend they have been having problems for quite some time now. I recently just hung out w/ him and made out with him, and later he said he wanted to hang out more and not when we're drunk. Is this a sign of increasing interest in me? And is he being sincere about ahnging out more?

For me personally,

I would say things like "Just stay for a little while longer"...

I'm more physically expressive then verbally expressive.

Its that thumb in the mouth worry wort Virgo syndrome intimacy wise if he's typical the sexual virbation will be slow such as slow sex throuh out the night not that this sign can't be energizer bunnies but basically its slow and intimate earthy yeah? yeh. Not like the Masculine signs y'know? yeah? frenzied sex see? I don't think Virgo is typically like that. Seems like he also has that Virgoan bachlor syndrome its that Virgoan tendency to be loners.

Its probably becox he has other priorities other than the relationship.

I think you're reading too much into it, love. Sure -- he's upset when he doesn't see you, but he's already said that he's limited emotionally. It's kind of a classic situation of the man just using the woman for sex and companionship.

Just as an fyi... this is totally a non-issue for me. I haven't seen or heard from Mr. Virgo since February. It was hard to move on (because we virgos are just that good 😛 ), but all is now fine with the universe.

Thanks for the the advice.