push pull of virgo

I have been seeing a virgo male for a few months, i am a taurus. it started off awesome, we spent all of our time together and then all of a sudden he backed off completely saying that when he feels like a relationship is going somewhere he freaks out an backs off. is this true? When we hang out we have fun...but i a the one who basically has to push him to see me, and it has only worked a couple of times. when i brought it up to him he said that he still likes me but needs to take it slow, is e saying he wants me to back off and wait for him....or should i just move on because he feels bad to tell me the truth. please help he is driving me nuts, but i am afraid if i keep trying to contact him he will back off even further. is this typical of a vrigo, do they push away peple that they might grown to love? should i just move on now?
and i forgot to add, the virgo invites me to Ohio with him for New Years last month and then dissapears....i see him after 3 weeks for an hour and he says : im not going to Ohio, whats fun to do in Denver? so what te hell does that mean, i have obviously made other plans but how do you invite someone, then disappear, and then act like you never had plans together. i am really annoyed at this guy, is this a struggle within his head or is he toying with me?

I'm sorry that I can't provide any advice on this one, but if it's any comfort, I'm dealing with the **exact** same thing with another virgo. What makes it worse is that I'm a virgo, too. I'm getting the impression that we're absolutely miserable to date.

Its good to see im not the only one who's been through this. My virgo split up with me because he said he couldnt text me, call me or see me as often as i needed him too. He said that it wasnt right i was always so upset about it so we should just finish things (even though two months before he told me i was the one!).
When we were dating he never seemed to have a problem with texting his friends back staright away but he would rarely text me back straight away if at all. When we did see each other though it was amazing and he was very romantic. What is it with virgos do they just have an aversion to women?

It's the neediness, I think what it all boils down to, maybe.


rescueme: "he couldnt text me, call me or see me as often as i needed him too. He said that it wasnt right i was always so upset about it"

Christina: "tell me that I was never satisfied and that I always wanted more"


I'm not saying it's a bad thing, really, just that this is likely the culprit, for it appears, according to what you two girls posted, that the VirGuys reasons for this pulling away is what you two said ...


..... needing and wanting .....


Other signs respond to this needing of a woman's emotional support, and Virgo men don't .. they are appalled by it = nature of the beast.

I think a woman has to be an emotional robot herself, and never express her emotions.

Other signs respond to this needing of a woman's emotional support, and Virgo men don't .. they are appalled by it = nature of the beast.

I think a woman has to be an emotional robot herself, and never express her emotions.

Really? Ahhh ... okay, that explains why things with (within a 15 month range)

#1:Leo/Virgo
#2:Virgo/Libra
#3:Leo/Virgo (another one)

didn't work out. I'm very emotional -- capricorn woman or not, I'm very emotional. I am not a robot and I cannot pretend to be. Ah ha! So thats the issue, Virgo men can't stand real women hey? 😉

A woman doesn't have to be a robot, but she can't be a crybaby, either.

My Sept 8th Virgo Dad was married to a Leo Woman for 35+ years. She was not a robot! I'm currently married to a Scorpio Woman who has no problem expressing her emotions around me. I work with a Virgo Man who's married to a fiery Aries Woman...

We're not as emotional as some guys, but we can get stirred-up, and our true feelings are obvious when we do. BUT, we only get emotional when your emotions are genuine. Drama queens and fakers evoke our contempt, not our sympathy.

Yeah, we're probably the least emotional of the three Earth Signs, but if you know that going in, and you want the constant hand-holding, you're setting yourself up for disappointment trying to change us...

Why do it?? Plenty of other guys out there...

I tried to express my emotions just last night and he said" are you still trying to turn me into a mindless emotional fool" WTF??!?!!?


Wow C!

How do ya deal w/that one?

Maybe he was already a mindless emotional fool, LOL! I guess emotion is kinda not to be tolerated by Virguy's, like a bad child misbehaving? wow, blows my mind.

C
I am gonna be as forward as i would be w/my friend whom is also a Leo and she and I share alot where men are concerned, she is a invasion freak of sorts and she pushes to hear what she wants to hear, that is not something that would have flown w/Virgo guy i was seeing at all, he would have ran too when he was done!

She needs to hear, see and feel that she is the world to a male, does this sound familiar? IDK I am not a Leo......just close friends w/one whom is very demanding, and pushy.......

Sex is not something on the top of my Virguy's list... and after 7 entire days I didn't think that asking for it constitutes neediness.
ROFLMAO!!!!
I have to agree with you! I had same issue w/my Virguy, he said, "trying keep up w/you puts me(meaning him) in harms way 😉"

I had said to him, my libido is screaming, and got no relief anywhere in sight!
With that being said, it was not about me, it was about him and his needs, selfish, for sure. IMO and then i must say, beings i am single, well, dont expect me to sit around forever, cause this time is five months, will i hear from him again, i believe so, but come on........i would rather be that "one women man" he told me about, but you got to engage and participate, LOL!!!!

I am sorry for ya!!!! DANG I HATE THAT FOR YA! 😉

Ouch .. and you're just getting ready to enter your Dirty Thirties !!!

ROFLMAO, I guess he does not, I can say, the one I know, he would not want to be treated as a piece of meat either, no, he is dominant and instructs......i can say i believe if i tried to flip that, which with him i would not, i like him just the way he is, with him, wow i think he would feel "less than capable" rather than the "piece of meat" description. He seems mighty self conscious, his demeanor displays less than total self confidence in some strange manner, its deep, not shallow.
Day 9, I got ya beat right now........DAYUM, my whores are moaning! LOL! TMI TMI i know i know......😉

P-Angel well i guess maybe it is the neediness, the ironic thing is that he's the one who made me feel needy! I have NEVER been in a relationship before where i felt needy, i think it's the push pull thing... maybe i just dont have enough patience to date a virgo. I thought i was being pretty chilled, we only spoke 3 or 4 times a week whereas most long distance couples speak every night and we were quite relaxed about not seeing each other every weekend.. ah well i will never understand virgos.

It is said, much patiences is needed to date a Virgo. I know I learned alot of patiences, and still was not successful in a man i felt alot of deep emotions for. Needy? Well, I dont show alot of neediness, yet, emotions can be seen sometimes even when we dont think they can be. Or w/me it seems to be that away. I have had two men that could see things I didnt even consider. So with that being said, IDK IDK.
I can share my experience, and it not even end up similar, can you please yourself? This is what i come back to alot, yes, but if I dont "have to" then why should I? I am a very emotional person, what I feel, I feel as how I think, I think.
Really, if you are compatible, then you are, if not, than well, you are not, no one should "change" to make a relationship work, if it does, then it does and then its usually great!
So many work to make things work and so many more live "on guard" and "in defense" mode with a wall up always looking for what they dont see or cant see, instead of what is right in front of them and is that what they want.......easier said than done, its a constant self work and recognition. IMO

on laptop, sorry for early post:

Pleasing myself was in "sexual" context.
I can tell you, that if I had not "said it", I still would have "felt it" and so then should I have "hidden" my needs? What ever they are? I think not. It's okay to have needs, if we didnt, we wouldn't "need" a man or want a man to fill them. As well, its a even exchange, so, it should not be a "bad" or "wrong" or " negative" thing to share yourself or want too with that other special person in your life.
It is also said that once a virgo thinks or knows you have "strayed" its a issue for them and a trust is broken, so with that being said, other than self sacrifice......what does it leave?
If they wont fill your needs as you have expressed and you wait "ungodly" amounts of time on them to make up they minds and then still get that type of response, patients is a virtue but GEEZEY!

i just experienced this last night: the rejection. I am married to my virgo for 5 years. I have slowly noticed that in that time that I tend to cater to his needs with minimal reciprocation. Just last night, I agreed that I would pick up the kids after work and he could go out with his friends after work to the music studio--that is his all consuming hobby. He agreed and was happy. When he got back in the house, I was putting the children to sleep and he came and kissed them and said that he wanted me to come to the living room and spend some time with me because he missed me and wanted to spend time with me. OK, I think, wow, I haven't heard him say that in maybe forever. We spent about an hour together on the couch watching the knick game and enjoying each other's company. I also enjoy lots of love making, but only with someone I love really. I have also been told by him that it is unhealthy for him. Anyway, I am looking forward to making love to him after all of this warm up, or what I thought was warm up. We get to our bedroom and he finishes watching the knick game, sets the alarm, shuts off the tv and hugs me. HUH? My libido is off the charts right now and I know it is so strong he MUST be able to feel me pulling him(but he is ignoring it). I hug him back, start caressing his stomach and he says, c'mon, lets go to sleep. We stay cluthced for a minute where I am trying to repress my feelings. Then he turns his back to me and hits the hay. We last sealed the deal two days ago and we rarely go more that four days for fear that I might turn violent🙂--just kidding. But I agree with perfect gem angel about being more upset about the selfishness behind it. It is always about him and his needs, it wasn't and isn't about me. Never mind when i want it, just when YOU want it. I am supposed to be at your disposal when you need it. The funny part about this is that whenever I have said no to him (which is hardly ever because I love it), I can feel the hurt and rejection pouring off of him and I give in. I just thought that after I went to work, picked up the kids, fed and put them to bed and made a way for him to be with his friends to do what makes him happy and then watching the basketball game with him, how could he be too tired to make love? All he did was have fun that night and suddenly he was too TIRED? So I agree with Christina, it is hard to keep from throwing in the towel. I feel rejected and discouraged. Unwanted.

i am taurus too. I just don't think that my husband and I can give each other what we need. I feel sad because I wanted this to work. I just can't change who I am for him, I can't love him that much, that I am willing to give up my happiness for his. I can't accept my place in his life, where I come after him, his hobbies, his tv watching, his everything. Everything comes before me and I am last in line. He never says this in his words, its all in his actions.

My experience with the Virgo male... You have to make him know that he can't live without you. Point blank. The virgo male WEIGHS all options... Which is annoying... But they don't want to be wrong. He could be afraid of commitment.. Because he isn't sure you are the right one... And he doesn't want to hurt you in the long run. Trouble is they don't know their hurting you more by not telling the truth. I suggest you talk to him... But don't be dramatic... Just speak logically.. Ask him where he wants the relationship to go... If he wants to date other people for a while. Let him know that you understand his feelings and your willing to compromise... Most likely he'll be all in your corner again.
I realize that with my VIRGO... I treat him like a baby in some aspects... And he always comes through...

Liana... LOL Virgo thinks duties first...
My virgo once said after.. laying in bed touching me... Lets go cash my check first...
I looked at him and laughed... "Damn, I lost my mojo..."
I knew he didn't want it to get too late... and the check cashing store be closed...
mmmmm... I realized that virgo men are kinda feminine...
He probably wanted to sleep... He was probably just not in the mood... LOL. Men can be like females sometimes... Try this... IT works for me..

Go to bed. Wake up in the middle of the night. Give him some head... Hop on and ride.
After that he is right where you want him 🙂.

Aries, that is very good advice, but I'm not so sure he would be in my corner because I just feel in my heart that he wants something else, something that is not me. I guess that, for me, is the sadness that I have to work through. I think I am finally prepared for him to walk out of my life and not look back. He has always tried to show me how strong he is, that he doesn't need anyone, not even me. I sometimes think that he is waiting for me to make the decision to leave so he doesn't have to do it. But whenever I have brought up the subject of my leaving, which was more in the beginning of our relationship, he put on such a scene of anger and shouting. But I question what he is really upset about losing. I don't think he is upset about losing his wife. He is upset about losing his maid for the house, his caretaker for the kids, his lover at night. Aries, I try so hard not to through in the towel, but he has ALL the power in this. Maybe he doesn't need me. This is what I truly think in my heart: He is afraid of me leaving and taking his children away from him, plain and simple. I just don't think it is about me. Your advise is very good, I will try it. The more and more I am dealing with this issue, the more I think I need to slowly close my heart to him and move on to avoid further hurt. I think

and aries, maybe he was just tired. I know, I always question if i am overracting. I do. i think i will talk to him logically though like you suggested, that is very good advice--no drama

the skys i think that it IS the stability. But then anyone can offer him stability, there are many stable people in this world and just like that I am diminished and maybe I am just being a needy girl, but what happens when he notices another stable woman who can offer more that just stability--like a connection or deeper feelings? And you are right, he always brings up the fact that he works everyday, he stays at home with me a lot and is not in the street, buys me clothes or sneakers, makes sure i eat. He always brings up how it would be worse for me, I could be with someone who doesn't work everyday, stays out in the street. Just yesterday he made a joke that I was lucky to have him because he keeps the fridge stocked with food. I would gladly give up all the clothes, sneakers, all the crap for a little more love from him. He wants me to think I am a lucky girl because he allows me to be with him and he tolerates me. I am allowed to cater to him. I have confused myself trying to figure it all out and I feel drained all the time. I never felt that i asked for much from people, NEVER. i was always a selfless person and I just feel like the person who is supposed to love and protect and cherish me is the one taking the worst advantage of me. Like it is a lifetime test of strenght, but he never took the time to truly get to know me or he would see just how weak I am. Weaker than him because I allow him to do this to me.

wow the skys--eyeopener--really. just when i think i have it all figure out and i am right---i am not right. You break it all down so easliy, i can't help but understand that you are right.


he sees my weakness like nobody else has--maybe only my mother--its actually a little errie

I feel like everytime he looks at me, i am stripped away and naked to him, he sees it all

when i look into his eyes, i can see him, but it is complicated and mixed up and not easy to read at all, whereas i am an open book to him with instructions and manuals🙂

theskys,

do you know if anyone ever gets to feel emotionally and lovingly fulfilled by them. I think I may be able to live with it if I knew it was actually all he was capable of giving, but something tells me that with the right person, he has the capacity to make them feel emotionally and lovingly fulfilled. And I don't think it would be because that woman needs less emotionally, it would be because that woman would awaken a true desire. I struggle with if I can live withit or not, but I only have one life andI want to be happy

Did you feel he was fulfilled in the beginning??

Virgos need their space at times but they'll keep coming back to you if you allow them that space. My boyfriend told me that he was afraid of commitment because he said once he had it he was afraid of losing it. They do get lost in their heads and do things at their own pace but if you don't have much patience and want every thing NOW walk away haha. In the beginning when I first dated my virgo years ago I didn't understand his ways either and I did walk away but he eventually got me back. ;p

I'm a virgo and i noticed that whenever i do the push and pull, it means it will end badly. so when i see myself doing that, i usually just break up with them to avoid future heartbreak(on their part). i'd just leave. us virgos get skittish sometimes. i finally found someone who i want nothing but to be with more. and its fantastic. so yeah, let him go.

"Serving = Loving to them." < People who are like that I see it as a cope out of emotion and nothing else. "Do-ers" I call them. This way they never have to express and understanding or get to the root of understanding a person just "do" things for them. Actions can be done with no emotional ties just like words can. I feel like people really forget that.