some people say its wrong..i dont

So what are we talking about here? As a Female Virgo with Venus in Leo I tend to help people out. Over the years I have come to realize I am pretty awesome. I am there for my friends whenever they need me. Every change in my friends emotions I get a phone call about. and I sit...I listen...and listen..and listen...and listen...sometimes to the same story over and over for hours. I give advice thats not heard or disregarded. Im labeled as inexperienced..or pretty much my problems are just not as bad as my friends so I have no room to say anything... On the Social front, I go along with whatever they want to do..almost never making a suggestion on the plans for fun. And HONESTLY it doesn't bother me. Im Mutable, I adapt I go with the flow with such ease its amazing. BUT! Some people would say it is wrong to keep track of the nice things I do for people. well its not wrong when your the one being used up. if you dont keep track it becomes unfair. If you are my friend Things will 90% of the time go exactly YOUR way and it is all cool with me. BUT that little 10% of time when I actually have an opinion and throw out a suggestion of fun activities or even when I need an ear to talk into I EXPECT..yeah expect.. you to do what I say. not bail out. not make an excuse..IT IS EXPECTED. and a requirement of my friendship...

this sounds harsh..but considering the evidence I think it is more then fair to give me what I want one time out of the 100 times you got what you wanted. otherwise I'm getting on my horse called "Justice" riding across the Bridge of Friendship to the other side called Logic-and-Awesome-ville...and burning the bridge behind me.

...any opinions??

First off, I'm also a virgo female with venus in leo.

Second, I can understand your frustration. Virgos are often stretching themselves for their friends; we're a service sign and we're mutuble. Whatever is thrown at us, we can usually adapt and aren't very vocal if we don't want to. So it's easy for us to be stepped on; however, it only really frustrates us when we feel we're giving more than we're receiving. But you have to ask yourself if your'e doing these things because you want to, or if you're actually expecting something in return. If your friends are flaky, blowing you off, or just flat out denying everything you suggest, then maybe it's time to think about how much theses friends mean to you and vice versa. With friends, usually it's a little easier for all opinions to be considered. Find other people to do things with (not necessarily get new friends altogether). Or talk to your friends about their inability to go along with your ideas. If you're feeling left out, you have to say something. It's hard, but it's only going to escalate when you friends do not realize you feel this way.

I love both of you 🙂

Orkdoop totally feel ya, write 'em off I say!

I understand your feelings because I used to be like you but I think your actions are working against you. I agree with what Candeh says. If something is bothering you then you need to speak up. If you don't stand up for yourself you are just as bad as the other people taking advantage of you. People will gauge what you will and won't put up with and treat you accordingly. You might see the same person who walk all over you kiss the a_ _ of someone else 5 minutes later cuz they know that person treats themselves with respect and won't deal with people who are full of BS. You also seem to have a good idea of which "friends" won't return the favor when you need it so why continue to overextend yourself to them. Forget about who you care about and think about who cares about you and also think about if you show everyone that you care about yourself. You might think people will feel indebted to you for all you do for them and you might even do things for them for that reason but just stop it if that is the case. If you are offering yourself up with a smile and then wanting something back you are making problems for yourself (believe me I've done this too) It is not wrong for someone to take what's offered to them and remember there was no deal that they would pay you back. That is their choice not yours. The only people that will go out of their way for you are the ones who care about you wether or not you bend over backwards for them. You will not have to earn favors from them by doing favors for them. My friend would always tell me that I teach people how to treat me. Eventually I had to take responsibility for other people's behavior towards me because I was allowing/encouraging it with my actions. I think as Virgos we naturally want to help out and be there for our loved ones. I still am that way but I am now extremely choosey over who gets to be one of my loved ones. I think if you look after yourself the rest will fall into place. Good luck

I dont know if Im a sucker really...lol Im trying to figure out how to get along in this world. there are so many different people, its hard to figure out how to get along. I have talked to her about it but I did it in a very awful mean way. But since then we talked and she seems to understand maybe...i dont know...

I dont think I help people ONLY to be helped out later...but maybe I do it without knowing. At the time I am all for whatever is happening and its really fun. but once and a while it would be nice if she would take the time to do what I want..at least sometimes... She is an Aires...so its really hard not to fight with her...

as a female virgo with venus in libra i can safely say i dont have this problem?

it sounds to me like you need to learn to be more assertive or to not let people use you so much..... start talking about yourself all the time and making everything about you, watch their reactions it'll be loads of fun 😄

I dont think a person with Venus in Libra would have this problem... Like I said I did talk to her about it and we got into a fight about it. And I would rather people actually cared about what I say and feel rather than just talk and talk and talk.....AND talk. Its alright, I have my secret life with the people who actually matter...and my pretend smile for those who dont matter....

its times like these when I decide to cut people out of my life.. but I have done that 2 times already the past year. and it takes a lot out of you..feeling so pissed off..and also genuinely hurting people in the process...so I just thought I would try to play along this time...im just going to see how long I can last..

Well at least as P.P. reiterated you know your awesome. That's a good step in the right direction. Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life there's just no choice once things get to a certain point and you see who they really are.

why would a libra venus person be any different from a leo venus person? 😛

like i said i think you shoul just be more assertive and open about yourself if its bothering you. once people get used to the more expressive u they will make room for u to express urself as well.

I won't usually express my dissatisfaction to the person....
yes I give a lot..but with my scorpio placement, I have no problem cutting people out of my life.
I will just disappear. u get all or nothing from me =p

but this is something I rarely do because those who are in my inner circle Now are the ones I really trust, and they're nice.. they're the chosen ones and have gone through my tests. It's not easy to be considered as my loved one because I don't trust easily. I could usually see through a person and I'm choosy

lol


If a person isn't asking for you to rescue them .. then you do it for charity, in which case, you have no rights to expect anything in return.

This is an on-going issue with Virgos that is discussed frequently ... they think they are giving when in reality .. nobody asked anything of them. And then they get disgruntled because they aren't being appreciated for doing nothing that has been asked for. And then they come in here and can't figure it out because it makes no sense.

LOL
im not really sure if what I typed was actually being read... I keep saying that I have talked to her and all we do is argue. Also How can it be fair for someone to expect me to sit there and listen to you go on and on about your problems and not expect to listen to mine? tell me how thats fair?? Its already one sided bc I WILL listen to you. But do I EVER get a turn to go on and on for hours at least once?? someone please tell me...Does it help to know She is an Aries?

P-Angel- since she never asked me to listen to her problems I should blow her off, or hang up when she starts talking?? where is the line drawn for someone to go on and on about problems that I cant fix? and when am I allowed to go on and on about problems she cant fix? I just want it to be fair...even if I listen to her more than she listens to me..I just want to be heard SOMETIMES..but she just keeps going..and if I stop her..we fight.. I dunno..

weird how people either dont read or dont understand but still comment in a rude way..

Posted by orkdoop
LOL
im not really sure if what I typed was actually being read... I keep saying that I have talked to her and all we do is argue. Also How can it be fair for someone to expect me to sit there and listen to you go on and on about your problems and not expect to listen to mine? tell me how thats fair?? Its already one sided bc I WILL listen to you. But do I EVER get a turn to go on and on for hours at least once?? someone please tell me...Does it help to know She is an Aries?

drop her next lol shes selfish and doesn't care about ur needs a real friend listen to someone problems and help them fix them.

people sense weak people and take that kindness for weakness and will drain ur enegery will all their drama and problems and you would not even get a word in at all.

find friends that listen to you and vice versa.

i use to be like that try to help and listen to people but i never got the same in return its a bad virgo trait at times now i only help people who need it and that ask for my help i dropped those energy drainers lmao.

i wish someone can try that crap with me now they will get dropped so bad that they wont know what hit them lmfao.

good luck wish you the best 🙂

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Moon in Libra/Venus in Libra people have no backbones, since they never fail to put themselves at the mercy of other people's wills.

i have both those placements y do u say that 🦇

Funny how when people don't want to hear an answer they get ignorant.



I can't believe people are actually telling you how unfair this is for you to be so abused when it's your fucking choice to be her rug ... if you lay down to be walked on then she isn't even abusing you .. she isn't doing any goddam thing to you that you aren't allowing.



You are allowing her, letting her treat you like shit .. and then bitching about it, like she is being unfair to you?

And to top it off, you actually have people who also believe that because you choose to helpless to help yourself .. this makes you a victim?




Seriously .... we must never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers, now should we?

You actually deserve this misery .. it is what you ask for by being a douchebag.

P-Angel... im wondering what your problem is. I dont know what I did to you exactly that makes me the douchebag.. Are you stupid or something?? can you read?? have I offended you somehow? are you at all capable of using your imagination and trying to see this situation in real life terms like remembering a time when this happened to you, your 51 right— well think WAAAAAAYYYY back because im sure you were not perfect from the beginning..

the least you could do is make sense..and actually point out what it is I did wrong. I mean I didnt plan on being her doormat..I only JUST found out she was like this..im not a mind reader. Its not like my friend is a horrible person..shes perfect in every way except she doesnt know how to listen to anyone but herself...

your so strange...im really flabbergasted...please if your going to respond again..respond to this--> tell me why its so bad to listen to your friends problems and assume that they would do the same for you sometime..especially if we are friends...

if you just feel like being in a bad mood and calling everyone who agrees with me stupid, then please go right ahead, I dont know who you think you are anyway...I dont understand what clicked in your head about me, but I guess it isnt going to change...sooooo I dont know..your strange to me...

Posted by orkdoop
P-Angel...your strange to me...

and bitter..

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Moon in Libra/Venus in Libra people have no backbones, since they never fail to put themselves at the mercy of other people's wills.

Oh I totally agree at this observant statement.
However, there is a different viewpoint I'd like to offer.
Those with alot of Libra, are not essentially fighters. They are passive, because that's how they see the world. They don't step on peoples' toes because they care for others' feelings and the harmony created makes them very happy.

However, not everyone in the world will appreciate the Libra stance. Bigger, badder wolfs will use it as a springboard to further their causes. It's all in the way different signs see the world.

However, the Libra type will soon learn which to place their blind trust on and which to spring back the scales on.

Posted by spica

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Moon in Libra/Venus in Libra people have no backbones, since they never fail to put themselves at the mercy of other people's wills.

Oh I totally agree at this observant statement.
However, there is a different viewpoint I'd like to offer.
Those with alot of Libra, are not essentially fighters. They are passive, because that's how they see the world. They don't step on peoples' toes because they care for others' feelings and the harmony created makes them very happy.

However, not everyone in the world will appreciate the Libra stance. Bigger, badder wolfs will use it as a springboard to further their causes. It's all in the way different signs see the world.

However, the Libra type will soon learn which to place their blind trust on and which to spring back the scales on.

click to expand

i have 5 libra placements in my chart and i have no problem socking someone in the face if they need it

Posted by zen

Posted by spica

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Moon in Libra/Venus in Libra people have no backbones, since they never fail to put themselves at the mercy of other people's wills.

Oh I totally agree at this observant statement.
However, there is a different viewpoint I'd like to offer.
Those with alot of Libra, are not essentially fighters. They are passive, because that's how they see the world. They don't step on peoples' toes because they care for others' feelings and the harmony created makes them very happy.

However, not everyone in the world will appreciate the Libra stance. Bigger, badder wolfs will use it as a springboard to further their causes. It's all in the way different signs see the world.

However, the Libra type will soon learn which to place their blind trust on and which to spring back the scales on.

i have 5 libra placements in my chart and i have no problem socking someone in the face if they need it

click to expand

I have 5 placements too, but I do have a problem with socking the face..
1. Law (they may charge you)
2. It's gonna look like your fault (when its not)
3. I don't like a physical retaliation

Posted by orkdoop



the least you could do is make sense..and actually point out what it is I did wrong. I mean I didnt plan on being her doormat..I only JUST found out she was like this..im not a mind reader.

Excuse me?

so, now you are a liar?

You say you just found out when in defiance from the truth talking to me .. when this very thread is about how people tell you it's wrong and you continue to do it because you think it's being nice and it's the other people who isn't patting your generous fucking back that is wrong.

Look at the name of the thread, chucklefuck.


So, now you lie ... we can then assume this whole thread is also a fabrication and you are just in need of attention.

P-Asshole, ...you really want to base your whole argument against me on the title of this thread?? I NEVER said "people have been telling me that it was wrong to keep track of the nice things I do for them"... I have heard people say it before on this forum to other people about totally unrelated topics. I have heard that people think its wrong to keep track. I happen not to agree for reasons I have already explained... wow your really stupid..

seriously..your stupidity is really blowing my mind..it is becoming fascinating...

It's because of Virgos like you that the ones in here catch so much shit.


It's one thing to be a nice awesome person and do for others .. it's another to be the shitpaper for another's ass

I dont think I ever said I was her toilet paper either...lol your so dumb ^_^

anyway...ill let you say whatever you need to in the next couple hours or so because it really really is interesting how you jumped on me in this way...when the evidence is all right here for you to read..you just wont read it..you just want to be angry and right and unique soooo bad...its entertaining.. anyway, say what you need because ill be ignoring you soon. hopefully you will do the same. ^_^

spica - i know all those things.. i said i wouldnt have a problem with it i didn't say i would 😛 anyways i think its stupid when libras get stereotyped for being doormats or w/e. i have had libra friends before and i consider myself at least half libra, so heres the libra side of me speaking: libras may prefer peace and harmony but to assume libra dont have backbones would be a mistake. cuz then 1 day when you get screwwed over by one ur gonna think "gee, i underestminated this person" its happened several times before in my life. ppl think libras are incapable of playing dirty but secrelty, we're the masters of it ;]

orkdoop - ignore p angel shes menopaulsal