Cajunspirit
@Cajunspirit
17 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo
Comments: 3 · Posts: 4208 · Topics: 163
The Cycle of Friendship
Cajun, what is your definition of friendship?
Phase 4 : The Shadow of former Friendship Looms
Your once "Riding Partner" now has no priority in your life. You still care about them but it is too much of an inconvenience to contact them, talk to them or hang out with them. You are sometimes reminded of the great moments you have, but it is not enough to move you. Occassionally, if still on good terms, they may contact you and you feel a little of that spark come up again, but you are too focused on your new friends/situation to be bothered to go back. Familiarity bred contempt and you had enough of it. What once was, is no longer and it is unlikely to come back.
That's the jist of it. Now, it doesn't apply to me and I doubt most Virgos would have this applied to them aswell. We take friendship seriously and we are willing to work past these things. The problem comes from the lack of trying that comes from the other part, so it's much more logical to stop trying or cut the person off.
Your once "Riding Partner" now has no priority in your life. You still care about them but it is too much of an inconvenience to contact them, talk to them or hang out with them. You are sometimes reminded of the great moments you have, but it is not enough to move you. Occassionally, if still on good terms, they may contact you and you feel a little of that spark come up again, but you are too focused on your new friends/situation to be bothered to go back. Familiarity bred contempt and you had enough of it. What once was, is no longer and it is unlikely to come back.
That's the jist of it. Now, it doesn't apply to me and I doubt most Virgos would have this applied to them aswell. We take friendship seriously and we are willing to work past these things. The problem comes from the lack of trying that comes from the other part, so it's much more logical to stop trying or cut the person off.
My definition of friendship : When two people acknowledge each other as valuable in each other's lives. A friend is willing and eager to help you whenever you have an issue, even if you don't ask for it. A friend will go out of their way to spend time with you and make the effort when circumstances are against the both of you. A friend loves you for who you are and trusts you to understand what you are going through. A friend stays when all others leave.
I think that's a common cycle for many people.
But what about when that decline doesn't happen. When the 'new' friend stays consistent, and the friendhsip deepens enough that almost anything can be enjoyable shared, from a road trip to a cup of coffee....
The cycle must branch into a sub-cycle for this kind of thing. And it takes a long time to meet people like that and establish that kind of relationship.
But what about when that decline doesn't happen. When the 'new' friend stays consistent, and the friendhsip deepens enough that almost anything can be enjoyable shared, from a road trip to a cup of coffee....
The cycle must branch into a sub-cycle for this kind of thing. And it takes a long time to meet people like that and establish that kind of relationship.
Posted by sandyclaws
I think that's a common cycle for many people.
But what about when that decline doesn't happen. When the 'new' friend stays consistent, and the friendhsip deepens enough that almost anything can be enjoyable shared, from a road trip to a cup of coffee....
The cycle must branch into a sub-cycle for this kind of thing. And it takes a long time to meet people like that and establish that kind of relationship.
True friends are a completely different topic.
I think your definition says it all, but unfortunately not everyones view, although to start with the objective might be the same. A true friendship is like any relationship, it needs give and take to make it work and some people are better at taking like selfish versus selfless. Trust, loyalty and respect, having your back, being around for someone, being able to have a whole blown row and taking it in your stride are all qualities I would give and would like returned.
It's hard to find real friends in a "me first" society.. really hard. Unless you find one who lives under a rock, everyone gets their own baggage everyday and play it out on everyone else. Alot of people 'lose it' and forget what is important in life. Once a friendship cracks, it's hard to mend it back.. so the cycle goes.. friends are disposable.. because everyone finds it hard to trust anyone else. It's a societal disease fuelled by freemarket economies. 🙂
Fact of life. But sometimes a flower blooms on a slab of stone.
Alot of times it's miscommunication/ misunderstandings. Communication is getting more and more stunted with technology nowadays. This leads to superficiality and lack of true connection. Friendships? People's best friends are their computers/ gadgets. And then some only trust blood ties.
Fact of life. But sometimes a flower blooms on a slab of stone.
Alot of times it's miscommunication/ misunderstandings. Communication is getting more and more stunted with technology nowadays. This leads to superficiality and lack of true connection. Friendships? People's best friends are their computers/ gadgets. And then some only trust blood ties.
A solid friendship will always take work because everyones expectations aren't always the same...We can grow and learn through friends it's the ones you can openly laugh and cry with that don't jude you that count.
Sorry "judge"
I believe in a karmic explanation for friendship. It makes me breathe easier. Some friends stick around even after you have had disagreements, some leave. Some betray you. Those that betray you are your negative teachers - those who have agreed to help you grow the most before you came to this plane.
As for them who stick around, they are those you have most affinity with - it's all energy plays - all you gotta do is breathe and relax.. friendship comes from spontaneity - you dont have to try too hard to hold on too tight to a friend.. truth is, there will always be people around - one door opens when another closes.. we are not meant to be alone in life. We always have kindreds, even if it's for a short time.
My favorite friends are those I seldom meet but often think about.
As for them who stick around, they are those you have most affinity with - it's all energy plays - all you gotta do is breathe and relax.. friendship comes from spontaneity - you dont have to try too hard to hold on too tight to a friend.. truth is, there will always be people around - one door opens when another closes.. we are not meant to be alone in life. We always have kindreds, even if it's for a short time.
My favorite friends are those I seldom meet but often think about.
Posted by spica
My favorite friends are those I seldom meet but often think about.
A bizarre paradox, is it now?
Those you spend the least time with, you value most.
well what i believe is that fair weather friends are the cycle to me true friends which i only have a couple are the friends who will stick it out no matter what someone who wouldnt sell you out even if they got paid to do it someone who lifts u up when your down someone who supports you and is straight up when they need to be someone who doesnt use you so they can get ahead and discard you after and finally someone thats always around when you need them 2 be.
Posted by everevolvingepithetPosted by LeGendary ViRGo
well what i believe is that fair weather friends are the cycle to me true friends which i only have a couple are the friends who will stick it out no matter what someone who wouldnt sell you out even if they got paid to do it someone who lifts u up when your down someone who supports you and is straight up when they need to be someone who doesnt use you so they can get ahead and discard you after and finally someone thats always around when you need them 2 be.
OOOowwwwwwwwwwwwww damn son, truth !click to expand
lol thanks man i speak the real plus i'm true to myself and i know what it means to be real friend.
someone who doesnt use you so they can get ahead and discard you after and finally someone thats always around when you need them 2 be.
Yep that sums up a friend pretty well.
"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."
- Sent by Lysha
Yep that sums up a friend pretty well.
"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."
- Sent by Lysha
A couple of quotes I like:
"I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."
- George Washington
"I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."
- George Washington
i like this one it comes from a game but its the message that counts.
"It is something that grows over time... a true friendship. A feeling in the heart that becomes even stronger over time... The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a righteous power and through it, you know which way to go...
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by spica
My favorite friends are those I seldom meet but often think about.
A bizarre paradox, is it now?
Those you spend the least time with, you value most.click to expand
IT mimics your para that says "Familiarity bred contempt and you had enough of it..."
Good friends don't actually need to meet very often.
I am afraid that those friends whom I adore, when I look too closely I start to find they're incorrigible. A good distance works wonders to maintain the boundaries for positive friendships.
The more time you spend with a friend, especially when you're bored, they traverse family territory.. but people tend to forget friends are different from family. There is a delicate balance needed so no one gets bored/ irritated from too much contact.
Relationships, a similar but different ball game 🙂
Posted by acattychattyscorpioPosted by spica
My favorite friends are those I seldom meet but often think about.
hahaha, touche.click to expand
😛
My idea of friendship is no longer so sentimental.
It is simply acknowledging we have different lives and thoughts, but still can come together with mutual respect and camaderie. I don't like to expect too much from friends, and vice versa. I'm also fair and don't like being taken advantaged of. My idea of friends is also selfless, but you can't find a selfless friend nowadays, unless it's your cousin 😉
Posted by 25thDecanPosted by spicaPosted by CajunspiritPosted by spica
My favorite friends are those I seldom meet but often think about.
A bizarre paradox, is it now?
Those you spend the least time with, you value most.
IT mimics your para that says "Familiarity bred contempt and you had enough of it..."
Good friends don't actually need to meet very often.
I am afraid that those friends whom I adore, when I look too closely I start to find they're incorrigible. A good distance works wonders to maintain the boundaries for positive friendships.
The more time you spend with a friend, especially when you're bored, they traverse family territory.. but people tend to forget friends are different from family. There is a delicate balance needed so no one gets bored/ irritated from too much contact.
Relationships, a similar but different ball game 🙂
I am stimulated by this......click to expand
haha.. so what does that mean ?
Posted by spicaPosted by acattychattyscorpioPosted by spica
My favorite friends are those I seldom meet but often think about.
hahaha, touche.
😛
My idea of friendship is no longer so sentimental.
It is simply acknowledging we have different lives and thoughts, but still can come together with mutual respect and camaderie. I don't like to expect too much from friends, and vice versa. I'm also fair and don't like being taken advantaged of. My idea of friends is also selfless, but you can't find a selfless friend nowadays, unless it's your cousin 😉click to expand
Exactly. And I like to develop very close bonds with friends. Not so much we have to talk every single day but they stick up for me and tell me things ect. Then again I'm still young, maybe I'll find someone like that.
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So let's look at it phase by phase.
Phase 1 : The Meeting
So you have started a new class/school/gym/job or gone to an social gathering event. You happen to approach or approached by someone who catches your interest or become introduced by a friend. You find they are tolerable enough and continue conversation. They seem to be interesting and worthy of your time and attention, so you give them some. After the 1st or several encounters you exchange some form of contact information. You talk with them more often, they now have a priority in your life. Learning about them and their experiences has a novel feeling, you think they could be friends for a long time and this makes you happy.
Phase 2 : The Friendship
The consistency in meeting and communication has lead you two to admit you are friends. You hang out, exchange stories and look forward to meeting each other on the whole. You have some memorable events together, which you joke about after they happen. You two are riding this high wave of friendship all is well and you feel as though you have each other's backs. Nothing can stop you.
Phase 3 : The Decline
A certain event or revelation becomes apparent. You or your friend stop attending the same class/events or your friend reveals something that really rubs you the wrong way. Communication becomes tense or is reduced drastically. You don't see each other as much anymore. It now becomes a chore to keep communication alive, interest in hanging out is fleeting. You probably have established new links with other persons now, who are more conveniently around you and easy to spend time with.