truthseeker_10
@truthseeker_10
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 84 · Topics: 9
The response of my overwhelmed scorpio....
ion to her in person!
Watch her squirm before your eyes and you will know she wants you.
Posted by Cajunspiritso...we aren't a nominated coupled yet, but we have been acting like one since we started dating...i have told her that i am willing and open to take the label (did this in a very interesting and nice way by the way) and thought she would answer right away...instead she took the whole next day (even though she was w me until early in the morning) to think about it (i was trying to be gentle when i said she could take some time, but deep inside i was hoping she would jump to the idea....whatever)
Oooooh boy... I hope she doesn't shaft you.
Those trust issues man... they go DEEP deep deep...
Try not to overanalyse... just do things as though you don't know what we've told you here....
click to expand
Time to kick it up and bring the action to her face.
Why you would choose to communicate any other way, bothers me.
Show her your feelings, give the extra effort, make her see your heart is true... even if she doesn't reciprocate.... and it hurts, you would have done your part and you can put all the blame on her afterwards.
A clear conscious and mind is priceless.
run dude when a women runs from commitment there is sum thing wrong with her i ran down that road its not nice.. women live for commitment when u see women like this its damge goods.. u can do wat caj say but.. i wouldn't expect much..
Hmmmm, maybe you should listen to Kaleidescorp, my Aries in Mars is talking.
It's what I would do in the situation
It's what I would do in the situation
thanks for replying!
very interesting responses.
i just found out today that she was planning a surprise new year's eve visit since she knew how special this was for me. one good friend just told me this today....i couln't believe it. she was planning all this recently, as of monday...then i sent that dumb long email that night, she read it on tuesday morning, talk with someone in her family about our relationship and that same day is when she completely shifted 180 and decided she couldnt be in a relationship at all....its so bizarre and sad.
i wonder if i should do something like what 'cajun' suggested....fight for her and surprise her too...maybe tomorrow....just go there and show her...let her see me....and let her know how much i do care about her.
wouldn't stepping up help her in her indecision right now?
yet, i did sent a message yesterday saying that i will give her the time and space, as some of you suggested.
i guess im just afraid that i'm not trying everything i can...and yet i do want to respect her wishes.
i just think suprising her, letting her see me, might at least remind her of what she would be missing?
ah....
once i found out that she was planning to come see me and surprise me. i didn't know what to think again.
i think the main issues right now are 1) once she told her family about her dating situation they did not supported that since they want her to focus on her studies and last semester and 2) she feels very overwhelmed because she saw the concerns fears i have and alon with her own issues she thinks its just not going to work.
she also says she has "trash" to clean in her life, i don't know what she could have meant with that, but guys i am willing to work with her through anything, i just wish i knew what exactly she needs and i'm afraid that she says space and time but by giving her all that i am letting her confirm her fears and close any options so by the time she gets here (6 days from now) it wil be too late.
a friend told me last night that she told him that i was great but that she has issues to work on because she cant give her heart completely and that she runs away like this sometimes and that she can't commit, but also that she doesn't want to throw us away.
i just wish i could just talk to her face to face and be there for her and yet maybe time and space is what she needs. oh what to do.
seaviken, kalediscopr, cajun, virgoking, shakalakaboom, hypnotic..thanks for responding.
very interesting responses.
i just found out today that she was planning a surprise new year's eve visit since she knew how special this was for me. one good friend just told me this today....i couln't believe it. she was planning all this recently, as of monday...then i sent that dumb long email that night, she read it on tuesday morning, talk with someone in her family about our relationship and that same day is when she completely shifted 180 and decided she couldnt be in a relationship at all....its so bizarre and sad.
i wonder if i should do something like what 'cajun' suggested....fight for her and surprise her too...maybe tomorrow....just go there and show her...let her see me....and let her know how much i do care about her.
wouldn't stepping up help her in her indecision right now?
yet, i did sent a message yesterday saying that i will give her the time and space, as some of you suggested.
i guess im just afraid that i'm not trying everything i can...and yet i do want to respect her wishes.
i just think suprising her, letting her see me, might at least remind her of what she would be missing?
ah....
once i found out that she was planning to come see me and surprise me. i didn't know what to think again.
i think the main issues right now are 1) once she told her family about her dating situation they did not supported that since they want her to focus on her studies and last semester and 2) she feels very overwhelmed because she saw the concerns fears i have and alon with her own issues she thinks its just not going to work.
she also says she has "trash" to clean in her life, i don't know what she could have meant with that, but guys i am willing to work with her through anything, i just wish i knew what exactly she needs and i'm afraid that she says space and time but by giving her all that i am letting her confirm her fears and close any options so by the time she gets here (6 days from now) it wil be too late.
a friend told me last night that she told him that i was great but that she has issues to work on because she cant give her heart completely and that she runs away like this sometimes and that she can't commit, but also that she doesn't want to throw us away.
i just wish i could just talk to her face to face and be there for her and yet maybe time and space is what she needs. oh what to do.
seaviken, kalediscopr, cajun, virgoking, shakalakaboom, hypnotic..thanks for responding.
Leave her be man, the odds are against. Especially with the family involved.
She has to make the decision now, move cold and let her come to you.
She has to make the decision now, move cold and let her come to you.
kaleidoscope,
i understand, its been hard because she used to say she wanted more emotional connection, remember? so i did open up to her...but i think i did it without thinking too much and by throwing too many hard things at once, as a way to protect myself.
i don't think she sees me as weaker as much as...she has seen that i too have big fears to face...and she is trying to take the easier way out to do what she thinks its fair, which in her mind is...not being with me seriously since she thinks she can't give me what she thinks i was asking, which i wasn't...i was just trying open up with her about heavy subjects....to see her thoughts, but i think she couldn't handle it. i learned a lesson from it all....
thanks for thinking about this....
so if you would push someone away, because of x or y reasons....or because you are scared......would you rather have them be silent and let you go and figure out your stuff alone, or would you rather have them show you that they will fight for you....
the idea cajun had...to drive there or nearby, a friend of mine suggested that too...wouldn't that show her/show you...wow someone is willing to go to this extent for me? maybe i shouldn't give up....maybe i should fight too?
i'm just trying to see if i should take a chance and fight for her, in person, since all has been done over email and text messages to this point....and let her see me...remind her of me...and let her know that we can do this together...that she shoudn't give up on us completely....
what are your thoughts miss scorpio?
i understand, its been hard because she used to say she wanted more emotional connection, remember? so i did open up to her...but i think i did it without thinking too much and by throwing too many hard things at once, as a way to protect myself.
i don't think she sees me as weaker as much as...she has seen that i too have big fears to face...and she is trying to take the easier way out to do what she thinks its fair, which in her mind is...not being with me seriously since she thinks she can't give me what she thinks i was asking, which i wasn't...i was just trying open up with her about heavy subjects....to see her thoughts, but i think she couldn't handle it. i learned a lesson from it all....
thanks for thinking about this....
so if you would push someone away, because of x or y reasons....or because you are scared......would you rather have them be silent and let you go and figure out your stuff alone, or would you rather have them show you that they will fight for you....
the idea cajun had...to drive there or nearby, a friend of mine suggested that too...wouldn't that show her/show you...wow someone is willing to go to this extent for me? maybe i shouldn't give up....maybe i should fight too?
i'm just trying to see if i should take a chance and fight for her, in person, since all has been done over email and text messages to this point....and let her see me...remind her of me...and let her know that we can do this together...that she shoudn't give up on us completely....
what are your thoughts miss scorpio?
cajun,
maybe you are right....
maybe i'm a little idealistic, but i think when i really am passionate about something...i fight for it too...to the end.
sometimes, i had needed people to stay strong for me....to let me know, affirm me, that things will be okay....and her messages has been so confusing....its almost like she needs that reaffirmation and ive tried to give it to her here and there, but when you mentioned the face to face thing, it crosses my mind...that perhaps that would help her during this time.
then i also found out she was planning to surprise me here....that was huge...if she was willing to drive her to do that, why couldn't i show her the same thing right? maybe that would shake her up a bit and make her rethink....i know she still likes me...i know she still feel things for me, i just think she is VERY scared and running like a little kid....and i just wish i could understand why and see if there was anything i could do.
sigh.
thanks for your reply guys, i'm going to decide sometime soon what to do or not to do.
i am, in the meantime, moving on with my life....i have some parties to go to tonight....and ill try to take care of myself and have fun.
maybe you are right....
maybe i'm a little idealistic, but i think when i really am passionate about something...i fight for it too...to the end.
sometimes, i had needed people to stay strong for me....to let me know, affirm me, that things will be okay....and her messages has been so confusing....its almost like she needs that reaffirmation and ive tried to give it to her here and there, but when you mentioned the face to face thing, it crosses my mind...that perhaps that would help her during this time.
then i also found out she was planning to surprise me here....that was huge...if she was willing to drive her to do that, why couldn't i show her the same thing right? maybe that would shake her up a bit and make her rethink....i know she still likes me...i know she still feel things for me, i just think she is VERY scared and running like a little kid....and i just wish i could understand why and see if there was anything i could do.
sigh.
thanks for your reply guys, i'm going to decide sometime soon what to do or not to do.
i am, in the meantime, moving on with my life....i have some parties to go to tonight....and ill try to take care of myself and have fun.
Posted by truthseeker_10
cajun,
maybe you are right....
maybe i'm a little idealistic, but i think when i really am passionate about something...i fight for it too...to the end.
sometimes, i had needed people to stay strong for me....to let me know, affirm me, that things will be okay....and her messages has been so confusing....its almost like she needs that reaffirmation and ive tried to give it to her here and there, but when you mentioned the face to face thing, it crosses my mind...that perhaps that would help her during this time.
then i also found out she was planning to surprise me here....that was huge...if she was willing to drive her to do that, why couldn't i show her the same thing right? maybe that would shake her up a bit and make her rethink....i know she still likes me...i know she still feel things for me, i just think she is VERY scared and running like a little kid....and i just wish i could understand why and see if there was anything i could do.
sigh.
thanks for your reply guys, i'm going to decide sometime soon what to do or not to do.
i am, in the meantime, moving on with my life....i have some parties to go to tonight....and ill try to take care of myself and have fun.
virgos and parties what have these virgos become owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww lmfao
Posted by truthseeker_10
cajun,
maybe i'm a little idealistic, but i think when i really am passionate about something...i fight for it too...to the end.
I'm the same way, it's just I tend to go straight to the end, asap.
....its almost like she needs that reaffirmation and ive tried to give it to her here and there, but when you mentioned the face to face thing, it crosses my mind...that perhaps that would help her during this time.
Without a doubt my man, without a doubt.
then i also found out she was planning to surprise me here....that was huge...if she was willing to drive her to do that, why couldn't i show her the same thing right? maybe that would shake her up a bit and make her rethink....i know she still likes me...i know she still feel things for me, i just think she is VERY scared and running like a little kid....and i just wish i could understand why and see if there was anything i could do.
I counselled a Scorpio on this same thing a few months ago.
She let the Virguy go with a situation very similar to yours. They are afraid and they run like kids, indeed.
i am, in the meantime, moving on with my life....i have some parties to go to tonight....and ill try to take care of myself and have fun.click to expand
Forget she exists for the while, give yourself some space.
kaleidoscorp,
thank you! i might send you a pm soon with a little update. thanks for being such a great friend inspite of not knowing me so well. i appreciate the time you take to respond.
cajun,
bud. i had to let it go and we haven't spoken since then. the ball is in her court right now. i would have gone more heroic this past weekend...since i miseed her a lot during these holidays but i agree with everyone here and i think time and space will hopefully give her an opportunity to realize whatever she needs to do now.
part of me hopes (but wouldn't be surprised) that is she does get extremely scared and cannot make up her mind we won'thave any more discussions even once she gets back....but that wouldn't be mature nor considerate on her part...not for us nor for her...so if that would be the case, i might be ready to let her go for good, sadly, because that is not what i want but its the only sane thing i can do.... However, if she does reach me this week and does try to have one final talk with me to either end things now OR work something out...she will have my respect because I know how hard that might be for her, but it will show some sense of maturity and fairness for her and for us. I will know all this very soon....so wish me good luck buddy!
legendaryvirgo,
the parties were okay....lol, but nothing is the same without having the person you like near you or at least with you in spirit...hopefully at least we had the second one since we didn't talk at all since the last message i sent. i hope your day is great and thanks for making me laugh a little with your party comment.
thank you! i might send you a pm soon with a little update. thanks for being such a great friend inspite of not knowing me so well. i appreciate the time you take to respond.
cajun,
bud. i had to let it go and we haven't spoken since then. the ball is in her court right now. i would have gone more heroic this past weekend...since i miseed her a lot during these holidays but i agree with everyone here and i think time and space will hopefully give her an opportunity to realize whatever she needs to do now.
part of me hopes (but wouldn't be surprised) that is she does get extremely scared and cannot make up her mind we won'thave any more discussions even once she gets back....but that wouldn't be mature nor considerate on her part...not for us nor for her...so if that would be the case, i might be ready to let her go for good, sadly, because that is not what i want but its the only sane thing i can do.... However, if she does reach me this week and does try to have one final talk with me to either end things now OR work something out...she will have my respect because I know how hard that might be for her, but it will show some sense of maturity and fairness for her and for us. I will know all this very soon....so wish me good luck buddy!
legendaryvirgo,
the parties were okay....lol, but nothing is the same without having the person you like near you or at least with you in spirit...hopefully at least we had the second one since we didn't talk at all since the last message i sent. i hope your day is great and thanks for making me laugh a little with your party comment.
Both Scorpios I dated the past couple of years were commitment - phobes. Both said from the start they were only looking for F-buddies. Tho the first one obviously was comfortable with a steady friendship and weekly dates... the second Scorp wouldn't even commit to seeing me at least once a week, which made it really hard on me. If we are serious, I can go light and easy, as long as I can see her at least once a week... twice would be better, lol... but once is minimum. So don't know what to tell ya about your Scorp... they seem to be really afraid of committed LTR's unless they are ready and seek them themselves. Interesting too, that the one, who is now a serious penpal, who tells me everything, is turned on by men who are unavailable... married men, men who have girlfriends etc.... because she feels they are "safe". And it makes her nervous if a lover says he's thinking of leaving his wife, gf etc... lol.
no problem truth seeker ima comedian on here like everyone says and in real life lol
i did enjoy my new years thank you.
and dont let things stress u out take it easy things will happen when its ready things cant be force when its suppose to just flow.
take care.
Posted by Kaleidescorp
My virgo friend really did things right in the beginning with me. There were times when we would talk almost every day, and then suddenly he would disappear for a few days, up to a couple of weeks. And then he would be back again. While at that time I wasn't thinking of him as nothing more than a friend, I can look back now and see how that gave me time to miss him, it gave me time to recoup, and it gave me time to examine my feelings and the importance of him in my life. It is important for a scorpio to have that time to recoup, to examine their feelings, to examine the importance of that person in their life. Scorpios need time alone, just as virgos do.
WOW, this is gold. Solid gold.
Have you seen HALF of the posts by Scorpions in here?
"I don't get him!" , "Why did he dissaperar!", "He's so confusing, won't tell me his emotions" Blah blah blah!
Take it slow. That is so vital to a scorpio gal.
again WOW.
The other posts by Scorpios in here often find the Virgo man is too slow or too distant.
You really can never please a woman, geez.
We have to have time to discover that we do trust you. Show her that she can trust you by being slow and steady. Don't race to discussions about the future, about your insecurities, about what you want in the relationship, take time to just enjoy the moment when the moment presents itself.click to expand
Ugh, how annoying.
Virgos have no problems trusting, yet Scorpios have the world of issues with trust.
This just emphasises the point everyone is different, some Scorpios get "us", most do not.
Posted by truthseeker_10
part of me hopes (but wouldn't be surprised) that is she does get extremely scared and cannot make up her mind we won'thave any more discussions even once she gets back....but that wouldn't be mature nor considerate on her part...not for us nor for her...so if that would be the case, i might be ready to let her go for good, sadly, because that is not what i want but its the only sane thing i can do.... However, if she does reach me this week and does try to have one final talk with me to either end things now OR work something out...she will have my respect because I know how hard that might be for her, but it will show some sense of maturity and fairness for her and for us. I will know all this very soon....so wish me good luck buddy!
Haha, luck, I certainly don't believe in it.
I believe in logic, justice and consequence.
As I mentioned twice before, I was counseling a Scorpio who threw away a great potential relationship with a Virgo.
This was all due to her emotional and trust insecurities that come with her young age.
I told you I was afraid she would shaft you and it seems all to certain.
Be strong, Be logical and don't give into your heart until she seals the deal.
kaleidoscorp,
your words were amazing and are still reckoning with a lot of the dos and donts i've seen this far. i just sent you a personal message, check it out when you can....there was just so much i wanted to say with regards to your response. thank you again, check your pm, and talk to you soon 🙂
LV,
going with the flow....yes yes. we will see if there is even any flow this week....that will define a lot of things for me. thanks bud.
ferghus,
i understand. so interesting to see these patterns. she told me one day that she afraid that she was going to run eventually and when i asked what went wrong in her previous relationships she didn't always have a concrete answer....which was a bit strange. also, i did talk with some people that know her and they all said that she does this....again and again. i am willing to be the person who patiently deals with it and to be strong for us, but if she doesnt cooperate a little and lets this go completely or goes back and forth...or doesn't even try to, out of respect, deal with whatever outcomes we must consider this week...then i'm my just have to go. i want to stay and i am all about fighting for what is worth....and i believe she might be someone i would do that for, really, but i hope she puts together herself these coming days and shows the respect and consideration this situation deserves considering nothing either one has done couldn't be resolved, processed or fixed....to at least find a way to see what can be done next.
i've been chased by scorpios while being in relationships too....so i understand what you are saying with 'safety' in the challenge. however, those same scorpios did end up dating someone and stayed steady for a while....so who knows....maybe they do that once they stop running...
butter,
haha...your comment made me laugh a bit. i agree, i shouldn't have sent that message. she had complained about me not opening emotionally so i did, but i didn't think how that could come across for her. i wanted her to be strong for us, like i have in the past when she had different times of fear....but i guess she couldn't do that. i have learned my lesson and have apologized to her about that message several times.
as far as actions. i have showed her that i am here for her, she knows knows that. i have also emailed her to explaing things well AND have given her the time and space she needs. i would do more, but she is out of town and i also do want to respect her desires.
your words were amazing and are still reckoning with a lot of the dos and donts i've seen this far. i just sent you a personal message, check it out when you can....there was just so much i wanted to say with regards to your response. thank you again, check your pm, and talk to you soon 🙂
LV,
going with the flow....yes yes. we will see if there is even any flow this week....that will define a lot of things for me. thanks bud.
ferghus,
i understand. so interesting to see these patterns. she told me one day that she afraid that she was going to run eventually and when i asked what went wrong in her previous relationships she didn't always have a concrete answer....which was a bit strange. also, i did talk with some people that know her and they all said that she does this....again and again. i am willing to be the person who patiently deals with it and to be strong for us, but if she doesnt cooperate a little and lets this go completely or goes back and forth...or doesn't even try to, out of respect, deal with whatever outcomes we must consider this week...then i'm my just have to go. i want to stay and i am all about fighting for what is worth....and i believe she might be someone i would do that for, really, but i hope she puts together herself these coming days and shows the respect and consideration this situation deserves considering nothing either one has done couldn't be resolved, processed or fixed....to at least find a way to see what can be done next.
i've been chased by scorpios while being in relationships too....so i understand what you are saying with 'safety' in the challenge. however, those same scorpios did end up dating someone and stayed steady for a while....so who knows....maybe they do that once they stop running...
butter,
haha...your comment made me laugh a bit. i agree, i shouldn't have sent that message. she had complained about me not opening emotionally so i did, but i didn't think how that could come across for her. i wanted her to be strong for us, like i have in the past when she had different times of fear....but i guess she couldn't do that. i have learned my lesson and have apologized to her about that message several times.
as far as actions. i have showed her that i am here for her, she knows knows that. i have also emailed her to explaing things well AND have given her the time and space she needs. i would do more, but she is out of town and i also do want to respect her desires.
haha you guys are making me laugh which is a good thing these days!
cajun,
you said "be strong, be logical and don't give into your heart until she seals the deal" yes my friend, i've been strong for over a week now, no more emails, no more text messages, no calls, no nothing....i was going to go do the heroic thing as you know, but giving the way she acted the last time we talked i was afraid to push her further away, plus she is still with her fam far away...this week will be the make it or break it deal....but with her silence up to this point who knows....maybe she is a big chicken and doesnt even try to reach me....in which case, i might be ready to say goodbye....but i secretly hope we still have some hope to make something work...
butter....cup,
you are so full of direct comments, aren't you? teasing the nice guys, nicely done! 🙂
i only sent two emails ever to her, but yes they were long, the last one was nice though, the first, i wish i could take back, but i can't but you are right, no more apologizes because i didn't say anything bad or catastrophic in any of them, just hard subjects that she really was not ready to tap into so she got her pride and her fear going...and decided to run. i wanted to stop her buttercup, but its so confusing with you all...because you ask for space and time, so what are we supposed to do? plus most people mentioned here how you all dont like to be smothered or pressured....that is the last thing i wanted, but i had several times thought of fighting her thoughts and seeing her.
the only reason why i haven't done this in person is because she is out of town....hours and hours away from here. now, i wouldn't mind driving, in fact wanted to sooo bad the 1st day of this year, BUT her family is very protective and doesn't know that she has been dating anyone....so i didn't want to add more overwhelming feelings to her life. she has been with them and there, far away, for weeks now, hence my emails and messages as opposed to face to face talks.
she will be moving back this week though, so im sure many things will be a bit more clear pretty soon, i hope. makes some sense?
would you ever give a chance to one of those guys you runned away from to talk to you afterwords? when is it too late?
dytryn,
your message its great! reminds me of the type of text messages i send. maybe i should stick to text messagingQ
she comes back soon friend, i hope we still have a chance to at least see each other.
cajun,
you said "be strong, be logical and don't give into your heart until she seals the deal" yes my friend, i've been strong for over a week now, no more emails, no more text messages, no calls, no nothing....i was going to go do the heroic thing as you know, but giving the way she acted the last time we talked i was afraid to push her further away, plus she is still with her fam far away...this week will be the make it or break it deal....but with her silence up to this point who knows....maybe she is a big chicken and doesnt even try to reach me....in which case, i might be ready to say goodbye....but i secretly hope we still have some hope to make something work...
butter....cup,
you are so full of direct comments, aren't you? teasing the nice guys, nicely done! 🙂
i only sent two emails ever to her, but yes they were long, the last one was nice though, the first, i wish i could take back, but i can't but you are right, no more apologizes because i didn't say anything bad or catastrophic in any of them, just hard subjects that she really was not ready to tap into so she got her pride and her fear going...and decided to run. i wanted to stop her buttercup, but its so confusing with you all...because you ask for space and time, so what are we supposed to do? plus most people mentioned here how you all dont like to be smothered or pressured....that is the last thing i wanted, but i had several times thought of fighting her thoughts and seeing her.
the only reason why i haven't done this in person is because she is out of town....hours and hours away from here. now, i wouldn't mind driving, in fact wanted to sooo bad the 1st day of this year, BUT her family is very protective and doesn't know that she has been dating anyone....so i didn't want to add more overwhelming feelings to her life. she has been with them and there, far away, for weeks now, hence my emails and messages as opposed to face to face talks.
she will be moving back this week though, so im sure many things will be a bit more clear pretty soon, i hope. makes some sense?
would you ever give a chance to one of those guys you runned away from to talk to you afterwords? when is it too late?
dytryn,
your message its great! reminds me of the type of text messages i send. maybe i should stick to text messagingQ
she comes back soon friend, i hope we still have a chance to at least see each other.
Posted by truthseeker_10
cajun,
you said "be strong, be logical and don't give into your heart until she seals the deal" yes my friend, i've been strong for over a week now, no more emails, no more text messages, no calls, no nothing....i was going to go do the heroic thing as you know, but giving the way she acted the last time we talked i was afraid to push her further away, plus she is still with her fam far away...this week will be the make it or break it deal....but with her silence up to this point who knows....maybe she is a big chicken and doesnt even try to reach me....in which case, i might be ready to say goodbye....but i secretly hope we still have some hope to make something work...
That's my way too laddy, no point in moaning over "predicted" spilled milk.
p.s. one of the reasons why i haven't done things face to face guys is because is isn't here....she is hours away from here now, but will be traveling back very soon. another reason is because her family doesn't allow her to date, they are very protective, so they don't know about me....even though she is in her close to mid-20s now...she is still the baby of the house, for what i know, and i am just few years older but from a big city and come from a different background...
basically we have other factors that may things harder beside her fears of commitment (which might be related to them anyways) and my fears of intimacy with people as well....but the connection is there and is so strong and amazing. oh well, there is nothing i can change now. all i can do is wait and see what the next move will be...she asked for time and space and i gave it to her, as she wanted, so the ball is in her court now....and this ship wont be here forever in silence.
basically we have other factors that may things harder beside her fears of commitment (which might be related to them anyways) and my fears of intimacy with people as well....but the connection is there and is so strong and amazing. oh well, there is nothing i can change now. all i can do is wait and see what the next move will be...she asked for time and space and i gave it to her, as she wanted, so the ball is in her court now....and this ship wont be here forever in silence.
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by truthseeker_10
cajun,
you said "be strong, be logical and don't give into your heart until she seals the deal" yes my friend, i've been strong for over a week now, no more emails, no more text messages, no calls, no nothing....i was going to go do the heroic thing as you know, but giving the way she acted the last time we talked i was afraid to push her further away, plus she is still with her fam far away...this week will be the make it or break it deal....but with her silence up to this point who knows....maybe she is a big chicken and doesnt even try to reach me....in which case, i might be ready to say goodbye....but i secretly hope we still have some hope to make something work...
That's my way too laddy, no point in moaning over "predicted" spilled milk.
click to expand
yep yep. i'm already getting ready for whatever might come. its just a matter of time now bud.
Posted by Kaleidescorp
Yes, I've seen those posts. I think because I had no intentions of involvement with my Virgo friend, just a friendship, that is why it never bothered me when he disappeared.
And how would you react if you WERE interested in him, and he just ups and disappears?
Put yourself in truthseeker's shoes, how is this Scorpion being fair to him?
He is giving his heart, his time and his patience and she's too much of a coward to reciprocate!
Then when Scorpios come in here complaining about the same behaviour from a Virgo man, we are the problem... sickening.
He is actually the one that has taught me the most about slowing down, experiencing things completely, allowing things to just be what they are without trying to force them into a defined box.
Shocking...
I think him not disappearing after a time caused me more confusion because I wondered what it meant that he was now available to me at all times. lol
Women are so damn confusing.
It's not about not being able to please a woman Cajun, but it is about finding what works for her. Some women like moving faster, some slower, some there has to be a perfect mix. In your virgo wisdom, take the time to observe how...she is. Does she seem to be the type to like instant gratification? Does she take the time to savor things? How is she and who is she? By observing those things, you discover how she may like to move in a relationship.
Do you know which forum you are on? Honestly?
You're lecturing a Virgo on observation!
That's rich 😛
Women can't make up their minds, talk a lot of crap and do the opposite. That's how life goes.
Don't give me this non sense about "observation", I have little doubt in my mind truthseeker "observed" what he had to. It's this girl and her immaturity coupled with Scorpionic levels of trust issues that is the problem here... not him.
With scorpios what I find is that due to our trust issues
This is why I hope to never date another or any woman with trust issues for that matter.
We tend to want to take things a little slowerclick to expand
That is not in line with the posts I frequently see on these Virgo boards.
Posted by Kaleidescorp
but we need to have some kind of "sign" from the other one that they are feeling it
Yeah, you want to get that "sign" without giving ANYTHING back. You want to feel in control, you want to feel wanted, you want to think you have all the power. Disgusting.
Caj, when a scorpio gets hurt when they are young, they hurt completely. They feel that hurt through their very core. It is totally encompassing their whole being.
And what the hell does that have to do with a genuine Virgo man trying to win your heart?
Why won't you let him?
Save that for Geminis or something.
It's because we feel so deeply and so intensely every nuance of the relationship. When we fall in love, it's total surrender. This is why we have a hard time trusting. We know how hard and how fast we can fall, and we know how bad it can hurt if we fall and someone's not there to catch us. We have to know, we have to trust
click to expand
The only intensity I ever got from a Scorpio was cursing, anger and drama.
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But she also said "I might be making a bad decision, but I don't want you out of my life, just..I'm trying so hard to be me, to push away"
Also "You are everything a girl could ever want" "I just cant do this, whatever this is, I can't commit"
My world crashed down a bit last nigth friends.
I knew, deep inside that my email was going to be big for her, I don't know why I wrote what I wrote...I guess I did it to protect myself...in it I mentioned all the hard things we will face and gave her a way out...
I am willing to take things slow....but I don't want her to think that I'm accomodating just for her. I don't I just thought she wanted commitment from my part and that is all I needed too, nothing huge.
I texted her trying to let her know that I have tried to pull away too through the message but that it didn't feel right to end things this way...and then everything she said was so confusing....like the fact that she was pushing away because that is what she does and yet how she had thought about it for a while and this wouldn't be fair to me...and how she has some cleaning to do....in herself.
I don't know what to do guys. I texted her and took a deep breathe and told her that if that is what she wants then I would let her go then but that I will miss her terribly...
Today, I had to ask time off from work, this was hard. I should have never sent her that long message telling her such heavy stuff...she couldn't take it...and sadly, I still like her so much. I don't want to lose her, something in me tells me I shouldnt give up all together.
Should I keep on staying silent now or try to be a friend?
She is coming back to the city next week, should I try to see her?
Should I give up now or give her few days, say anything more?
Last night was such a sad night.