The Virgo Ghost

Hello again people!!

Okay so this one is kinda confusing. Not ugly but confusing. So we have had plenty of ugly fights in June. June was BAD but then we always find our way back to each other and get normal.

Now, he has an extremely important exam on mid November and its extremely competitive and daunting. You need to prep a lot for months. We both are done with college so he's prepping hard. However, its weird that he hasnt talked to me for about a week now. It would mostly be me texting(not bombarding him with too many texts but just 1 or 2 here and there) and he'd just say a little and say bye each time i initiated a talk. 3 days ago I initiated to talk at night and again he just said something and said goodnight bye. I told him what's with this behavior that each time i try to talk he just cuts me off with a bye or goodnight. I asked him to give me a honest answer - are you not interested in me anymore? are you bored of me? he said no, that's not the case. Then he asked me about my internship and when will i get paid and stuff and after 5 minutes he said "i told you that you'll have to forget me till I am done with my exam and i want to forget you too till then. You have your internship and there's so much for you to do so just focus there. We'll meet once in July end for some weekend trip. You have to relax till then. Let me study, it's really tough. Besides, I've been gyming too and i gained some muscles so it's been difficult managing these things together so i am also lagging behind in my exam prep. So relax till July end.Goodnight".

I read it the next day morning and i didn't reply. This was 3 days ago and we havent talked since then. I havent contacted(and i dont intend to since he said that) and he hasnt contacted either.

I am all up for supporting him to do well in his exam. I want him to succeed and if it means not talking much, so be it but this is a total black out. Besides, right after he said all that he went on instagram and everyday including even now i see him like our mutual friends' photos so that is kinda disturbing for me. That makes me feel like he deliberately chooses Insta time watching other people's photos over spending time talking to me during his prep breaks. Also, him ghosting on me for weeks and then directly contacting me weeks later to plan a trip makes me feel like he's just using me for sex.

I don't get it. Am i overthinking and over-reacting or this is normal?

Posted by PinkandBlue

First, the fighting in June...a month of plenty of ugly fights is a huge sign that you relationship is BAD. It is possible to fix this if the work is put in but still this means you are in a bad phase.

We both have hurt each other in June it was indeed a bad phase but we both agreed that we want to forget about it and move forth with each other.

Posted by PinkandBlueSecond, I can understand what he's feeling in terms of being overwhelmed with studying and staying healthy and I think that is fair. The problem is, if he wants a relationship with you during that time, simply (pretty much) ignoring you is not very generous. He has basically put the two of you on break without directly saying that to you. He says to be patient but he's not being a boyfriend to you right now, so thats not fair to you. If he wants to be with you, he could at least call you, have a conversation with you, take one evening a week to spend time with you. Thats how relationships work when people are busy. You make time, even if its brief.

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You are 100% spot on about putting us on a break because even during our best phase he would often freak out about his exam and say that he would have to take a break. The ugly intense fights in June just added fuel to the fire by giving him a bigger reason to. However, he did talk about us going on a weekend overnight trip this July end. My main concern is that if he directly contacts me this month end for a weekend trip plan, after a month of no talk, that would make me feel like he's just using me for sex and that's it. I don't know if its wrong of me to think that way or its justified. Also, its this thing that on one hand he has been freaking out how he's still lagging behind and how tough it is for him to manage gym + exam prep so he has to cut me out for the time being and on the other hand i see him like some friend's photo on Insta right after that.

well the man got priorities, and you're not one of them.

and the merc retrograde is just starting, it might be better not to contact each other, and the whole trip.... sheez.

Focus on you, dont pay him any mind. Until he comes forward and apologizes for his behavior, you shouldnt contact him. Virgos are a little selfish, they dont consider others feelings so in their minds its just about what works for them right now.. Ignore and do you. If he comes back good if not then you deserve better.

Posted by Endless

well the man got priorities, and you're not one of them.

and the merc retrograde is just starting, it might be better not to contact each other, and the whole trip.... sheez.

what's with the mercury retrograde?

Posted by aquatar1

Focus on you, dont pay him any mind. Until he comes forward and apologizes for his behavior, you shouldnt contact him. Virgos are a little selfish, they dont consider others feelings so in their minds its just about what works for them right now.. Ignore and do you. If he comes back good if not then you deserve better.

Hi, aquatar1. I did come across one of your posts about a Virgo guy. Yes, they are extremely selfish.

When i had my important exam he asked me for my time and expected me to balance both,our relationship and my exam prep.

I did handle both successfully- we spent a lot of time together and i aced my exam with a 99 percentile.

Now that it's his turn, this is how it is.

I have seen the exact same behavior with my Virgo male ex-best friend. I was expected to take out my time for him regardless how busy I was but when it was his turn, he'd straightup say that he's busy.

I think this is a Virgo male thing.

Also, I must mention. He can go on for a long time without talking to someone. He can talk to you everyday but that doesn't mean you are his best friend or even close friend. On the other hand, he rarely rarely talks to his best friend. Probably not even once a month. But he loves him dearly more than any of his friends whom he talks to a lot more than he does with him.

Basically going through the same exact thing. I’m dealing w a Virgo sun and cancer rising. We also had a few rough patches in May & June. Fast forward to now and we are in a grey area. He’s been all about his job, his goals and himself. I will say I played a role in the disagreements or maybe too needy. I’m a Virgo with libra rising. I’m hoping by giving him space we can rekindle but at the same time his actions haven’t been the same. He’s not distant, I always have to reach out now. He can be cold at times but also can be the biggest mush. I almost feel like I pushed My Virgo guy into being back in his cancer rising shell. I’d love to have his soft side back. I know he’s super focused on an exam rn and trying to get financially right but I no longer am a priority. He tells me he cares and loves me and would want to build a friendship foundation first because of how soon and quickly we did start. The honey moon stage has sure ended. Anyone have any advice to share ?

Posted by PinkandBlue

"We both have hurt each other in June it was indeed a bad phase but we both agreed that we want to forget about it and move forth with each other."

Just be careful with this. You can't just forget about these things. You are just ignoring something that is a huge problem. The two of you need to get to the root of the problem.



"My main concern is that if he directly contacts me this month end for a weekend trip plan, after a month of no talk, that would make me feel like he's just using me for sex and that's it. I don't know if its wrong of me to think that way or its justified. Also, its this thing that on one hand he has been freaking out how he's still lagging behind and how tough it is for him to manage gym + exam prep so he has to cut me out for the time being and on the other hand i see him like some friend's photo on Insta right after that"

It's not wrong for you to think this way. It is justified. Your giving him boyfriend status without any boyfriend responsibilities. He reaps all the rewards while treating you poorly.

Forget about his social media for the time being. The guy has time to chat with you! There is always time in a day for a five minute conversation. Especially, with the person you are in a relationship with.

This relationship is off to a very rocky start. Remember, there are other fish in the sea and there are guys who want to be in a relationship with you and want to put the work in to keep you and your relationship healthy. You might not find that person right away, but you only need to find ONE of them. In the meantime, keep a life and a circle of people around you that make you happy! Life is hard enough, no need to engage in relationships that bring you needless suffering.

It's not a starting relationship. We've been in a serious relationship for over a year now. It's just that I am confused between the fact that if I am over-reacting to him taking space for his exam prep while him being active on social media all the while. I have read many posts on Virgo men that how they cut off people when they're focused on something very important related to work.

So it's all these contradictory things confusing me.

When I asked him blatantly to give me an honest answer if whether he's bored of me or isn't interested in me anymore, he said that's not the case and how I must relax till we meet in July end. I think it's more about seeing him active on social media all the while telling me how he needs to cut off communication inorder to focus on exam prep is what is messing my head.

Posted by gia

Posted by aquatar1

Focus on you, dont pay him any mind. Until he comes forward and apologizes for his behavior, you shouldnt contact him. Virgos are a little selfish, they dont consider others feelings so in their minds its just about what works for them right now.. Ignore and do you. If he comes back good if not then you deserve better.

Hi, aquatar1. I did come across one of your posts about a Virgo guy. Yes, they are extremely selfish.

When i had my important exam he asked me for my time and expected me to balance both,our relationship and my exam prep.

I did handle both successfully- we spent a lot of time together and i aced my exam with a 99 percentile.

Now that it's his turn, this is how it is.

I have seen the exact same behavior with my Virgo male ex-best friend. I was expected to take out my time for him regardless how busy I was but when it was his turn, he'd straightup say that he's busy.

I think this is a Virgo male thing.

click to expand

yep theyre selfish. and if you get upset or dont do things according to his views, he'll get some type of way about it. they're very difficult people lol

Posted by aquatar1

Posted by gia

Posted by aquatar1

Focus on you, dont pay him any mind. Until he comes forward and apologizes for his behavior, you shouldnt contact him. Virgos are a little selfish, they dont consider others feelings so in their minds its just about what works for them right now.. Ignore and do you. If he comes back good if not then you deserve better.

Hi, aquatar1. I did come across one of your posts about a Virgo guy. Yes, they are extremely selfish.

When i had my important exam he asked me for my time and expected me to balance both,our relationship and my exam prep.

I did handle both successfully- we spent a lot of time together and i aced my exam with a 99 percentile.

Now that it's his turn, this is how it is.

I have seen the exact same behavior with my Virgo male ex-best friend. I was expected to take out my time for him regardless how busy I was but when it was his turn, he'd straightup say that he's busy.

I think this is a Virgo male thing.

yep theyre selfish. and if you get upset or dont do things according to his views, he'll get some type of way about it. they're very difficult people lol

click to expand

couldnt agree more

My opinion is different from the others above. This relationship sounds drama filled AND toxic. Arguing all through June? How exhausting. Really 🤦 If he has CLEARLY told you that he is to be forgotten, while study for a hard-ass exam. Umm, then, forget him. Why force someone to speak w you when it's clear that they don't want to talk? Don't you have your own life? If this relationship is destined to be, give it time to heal. Maybe work on yourself more. In your post, you said that the two of you agreed to forget about the arguments and move on. How is that even possible? 🤦 Anyway, give him the space he's asking for. He at least told you what he wanted. Respect that. It's not like you're married 🤷 I think insta is fun and RELAXING. Arguments and disagreements ARE NOT. He has to destress somewhere and it surely isn't with you. Sorry. Accept the break.