A Virgo struggling with honesty

I’m an honest person. I don’t sugar coat stuff and will say the things their parents should say to them but don’t .

For example :

I had to tell my friend lil sister she wasted tuition on 3 years of community college and still don’t care about school to go and I said if you’re failing community college and not going to class. I think you’re one of those people where college is not for you . I think it woke her up

These few people in my life like me for who I am . They come to me for advice and turn to me for an honest opinion.

So I grew up liking this quality about me and proud that it came so naturally. I don’t randomly go around telling honest thing to people face but I will say it to people close to me when I feel it is needed . What they choose to do with it is up to them . It’s my way of being helpful .

So far, it worked fine with most people in my life since most enjoy that about me and respect me more as a person for it.

However I’m learning that when you work with coworkers or even my relationship with the sensitive stubborn cancer man of 7 years now that we a heading into a lifelong marriage .... I’m struggling between being honest and not saying anything or even sugar coating stuff to avoid conflict .

I feel that doing so would mean less argument with my super sensitive significant other , fitting in with coworker etc if I sugar coat thing I say when people ask for my perspective ...

But then there’s the struggle of feeling fake and dishonest with myself . It feel wrong telling people to feel what they feel and openly express them when I’m not doing so myself

Idk how to find this balance . Which way do I lean. Obviously I have to give in when I’m in public setting like for work and career .

But how about family, relatives and friends , how much do you sugar coat .

My mom said if you can sugar coat stuff to avoid minor and unnecessary argument , do it, or marriage will not last long

with cancers its always better not to say anything. honesty makes unnecessary enemies.

Posted by Foxy777

Posted by coldwateryvirgo

I’m an honest person. I don’t sugar coat stuff and will say the things their parents should say to them but don’t .

For example :

I had to tell my friend lil sister she wasted tuition on 3 years of community college and still don’t care about school to go and I said if you’re failing community college and not going to class. I think you’re one of those people where college is not for you . I think it woke her up

These few people in my life like me for who I am . They come to me for advice and turn to me for an honest opinion.

So I grew up liking this quality about me and proud that it came so naturally. I don’t randomly go around telling honest thing to people face but I will say it to people close to me when I feel it is needed . What they choose to do with it is up to them . It’s my way of being helpful .

So far, it worked fine with most people in my life since most enjoy that about me and respect me more as a person for it.

However I’m learning that when you work with coworkers or even my relationship with the sensitive stubborn cancer man of 7 years now that we a heading into a lifelong marriage .... I’m struggling between being honest and not saying anything or even sugar coating stuff to avoid conflict .

I feel that doing so would mean less argument with my super sensitive significant other , fitting in with coworker etc if I sugar coat thing I say when people ask for my perspective ...

But then there’s the struggle of feeling fake and dishonest with myself . It feel wrong telling people to feel what they feel and openly express them when I’m not doing so myself

Idk how to find this balance . Which way do I lean. Obviously I have to give in when I’m in public setting like for work and career .

But how about family, relatives and friends , how much do you sugar coat .

My mom said if you can sugar coat stuff to avoid minor and unnecessary argument , do it, or marriage will not last long

Do you want me to sugarcoat it for you or be totally honest?

click to expand

give me the real deal, that I am full of shizzt lol

Sometimes a hypothetical story is a great way to be direct/indirect. I'm blunt & honest also. Analogies are your best friend.

thanks all, I appreciate all the advice and perspectives

you don't have to lie sugar coating is like finding nicer words to say how you are honestly feeling. i think bad words can ruin relationships with anyone, esp if there's a misunderstanding

Sugar coat gets a bad rep.

Let’s call it delivery. Timing is everything after all.

I think it’s important to pick and choose your battles. But at the same time you don’t want the frustrations to build and build and then you vomit out some words you can’t take back. It’s a fine line to walk.

Virgo tends to make sure things are in order, keep every details perfect. Something mess up that makes Virgo crazy worrier!!!

Dishonesty? Can sometime keep things good but the backfire are worst. Truth hurts but there is always a positive way to say it and with backup explanation you can set a room for understanding.