Alana
@Alana
21 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 1857 · Topics: 45
Update for Looneybird etc.
I am so terrified of you lol.
You scare me fiercely and immensely.
That poor sensitive Virgo 😉 Oh my God.
You scare me fiercely and immensely.
That poor sensitive Virgo 😉 Oh my God.
Yes, sweet-p my beauty:-), I am Irish, very Oir-ish:-) - plus the red hair!!! Our islands are not so far apart at all....my wee bonny lass:-)
VS - I bet you are shakin' in your booties:-)!! -
Hey-ho and ciao!!
The strange thing is what annoys me the most probably is the fact that I let him see how much I "needed" him to phone me! talk about "a desperate woman phone-call"!!!- I like to appear to that man and every man with an - "I don't give a damn attitude...." - the ice-maiden cometh!!! I hate cling-ons! and I sounded like one on the phone!!!!
Oh yes, plus I forgot, after the AND NEVER RING ME AGAIN speech....then I texted an awful text to him......oh well, if you are gonna do something...might as well go the whole hog!!!
Guess, I will never go to a counsellor!!! AFter trying to analyse me and my contradictions, he/she'd would need counselling themselves!!!!:-)
Ciao my pals.
Ax
VS - I bet you are shakin' in your booties:-)!! -
Hey-ho and ciao!!
The strange thing is what annoys me the most probably is the fact that I let him see how much I "needed" him to phone me! talk about "a desperate woman phone-call"!!!- I like to appear to that man and every man with an - "I don't give a damn attitude...." - the ice-maiden cometh!!! I hate cling-ons! and I sounded like one on the phone!!!!
Oh yes, plus I forgot, after the AND NEVER RING ME AGAIN speech....then I texted an awful text to him......oh well, if you are gonna do something...might as well go the whole hog!!!
Guess, I will never go to a counsellor!!! AFter trying to analyse me and my contradictions, he/she'd would need counselling themselves!!!!:-)
Ciao my pals.
Ax
Hi Alana!
Welcome back! My what a roller-coaster ride you & your Mr Virgo have been through! gosh ! How did y'all last for 2 1/2 years? I wish something happens which brings lotsa cheer in your life.
keep posting.
looney bird.
Welcome back! My what a roller-coaster ride you & your Mr Virgo have been through! gosh ! How did y'all last for 2 1/2 years? I wish something happens which brings lotsa cheer in your life.
keep posting.
looney bird.
A lot of irish are from the scots. they been there a couple hundard years, the english sent them Dam limes.
OH well so sorry to hear about the break up of you and the guy for Pizza land ( by the way we have better Pizza than they do)youm do seem to be getting back to normal (for you that is,) have a good new year.
Jake
P.S. I will be heading for Key West soon for the winter I got an invite from a woman I know down there I am just a male whore but it beats being cold.
OH well so sorry to hear about the break up of you and the guy for Pizza land ( by the way we have better Pizza than they do)youm do seem to be getting back to normal (for you that is,) have a good new year.
Jake
P.S. I will be heading for Key West soon for the winter I got an invite from a woman I know down there I am just a male whore but it beats being cold.
"Maaaaan, I sure do love them red head girls. I just like all the boys from Texas. Come on take a spin. I got a brand new set of wing." Counting Crows.
Oh God, I have such a weakness for red heads. It's like one would pass and I'd forget my first name.
Alana my dear, you're not that hard to figure out. Have a seat on my couch. I'll take clip board and eye glasses, sitting on my leather chair, crossing my legs in a pristine image of sophistication.
It's elementary my dear. You hit upon the point yourself. Vulnerability. The Superwoman complex. You take issue with feeling vulnerable. Or at least feeling you may appear vulnerable in front another. You seek dominance, the upper hand, strength. An untouchability. Yet, you take that way to hide the tender, fragile, soft chewy center that showed when you needed to talk to him. When your very existence depended on talking to him on the phone. Where the universe would've imploded had you not talked to him on the phone. Where . . . you get the point LOL!!!
It's not a contradiction; well, not really. You're just protecting yourselves from yourselves. I wear a pair of red and blue PJ's with the plastic "S" on my chest myself. Yeah baby, even got the red booties lol, I so rock. Yet. This is the rub. Taking vulnerable sometimes shows the other person you care. The "I don't give a damn attitude" kind of makes the other take the same attitude. You care, but if the other person doesn't know . . . it becomes kind of moot.
The Ice Maiden cometh? I would so need warmth and affection lol. Call me a woman, I don't care. Expression begets expression with me. I could speak a rose petal to her, a different vibrant color each day, or I could become the Antarctic. I tend to bend to the other person in that regard.
Remember I'm scared or you, so, be gentle with me after reading this 🙂 Forgive my Virgoing out.
My dear you have to keep us posted on this. The saga continues.
VirgoSquared
Oh God, I have such a weakness for red heads. It's like one would pass and I'd forget my first name.
Alana my dear, you're not that hard to figure out. Have a seat on my couch. I'll take clip board and eye glasses, sitting on my leather chair, crossing my legs in a pristine image of sophistication.
It's elementary my dear. You hit upon the point yourself. Vulnerability. The Superwoman complex. You take issue with feeling vulnerable. Or at least feeling you may appear vulnerable in front another. You seek dominance, the upper hand, strength. An untouchability. Yet, you take that way to hide the tender, fragile, soft chewy center that showed when you needed to talk to him. When your very existence depended on talking to him on the phone. Where the universe would've imploded had you not talked to him on the phone. Where . . . you get the point LOL!!!
It's not a contradiction; well, not really. You're just protecting yourselves from yourselves. I wear a pair of red and blue PJ's with the plastic "S" on my chest myself. Yeah baby, even got the red booties lol, I so rock. Yet. This is the rub. Taking vulnerable sometimes shows the other person you care. The "I don't give a damn attitude" kind of makes the other take the same attitude. You care, but if the other person doesn't know . . . it becomes kind of moot.
The Ice Maiden cometh? I would so need warmth and affection lol. Call me a woman, I don't care. Expression begets expression with me. I could speak a rose petal to her, a different vibrant color each day, or I could become the Antarctic. I tend to bend to the other person in that regard.
Remember I'm scared or you, so, be gentle with me after reading this 🙂 Forgive my Virgoing out.
My dear you have to keep us posted on this. The saga continues.
VirgoSquared
Whew Alana! You really did let him have it didn't you 😉 !
I think VirgoSquared pretty much nailed that one though... When I think of my own responses, I do stuff just like that too. Well, maybe age and lack of red hair make me a bit tamer, but not much!
It's the distance thing. When I am apart from someone I want to be with for a while I start to feel 'out of touch' and want to make contact. Sometimes it is not physically possible because of distance, as it was with you, or sometimes the other person is just busy.
It makes me feel vulnerable though - I hate that! Then I get frustrated because they aren't calling. And I'll look needy (or so I think) if I call for no particular reason. ARGH!! Then I start to imagine things. Well by the time I break down and call, or they call me, I've worked my self right into a state 🙂 !!! Man, I've blasted a friend of mine a couple of times and he was just clueless.
I'm working on that. I'm trying to just pick up the phone and call when I feel this coming on. Way better to catch it then. A bit vulnerable maybe, but at least not as bad as I end up looking if I lose it!!
Let us know how it goes. You've got spirit Alana - you'll get it your way if you know what you want!
Scorpgal
I think VirgoSquared pretty much nailed that one though... When I think of my own responses, I do stuff just like that too. Well, maybe age and lack of red hair make me a bit tamer, but not much!
It's the distance thing. When I am apart from someone I want to be with for a while I start to feel 'out of touch' and want to make contact. Sometimes it is not physically possible because of distance, as it was with you, or sometimes the other person is just busy.
It makes me feel vulnerable though - I hate that! Then I get frustrated because they aren't calling. And I'll look needy (or so I think) if I call for no particular reason. ARGH!! Then I start to imagine things. Well by the time I break down and call, or they call me, I've worked my self right into a state 🙂 !!! Man, I've blasted a friend of mine a couple of times and he was just clueless.
I'm working on that. I'm trying to just pick up the phone and call when I feel this coming on. Way better to catch it then. A bit vulnerable maybe, but at least not as bad as I end up looking if I lose it!!
Let us know how it goes. You've got spirit Alana - you'll get it your way if you know what you want!
Scorpgal
Hey, you guys and girls, so thanking you all for your comments on the pizza guy!! and me (as Old Jakes calls him):-)
Thanks for the good wishes Looney:-)
Your dead right there Jakey...."my normal" is so different from most others!!:-)
Sweet-p, you precious wee bonny lass you:-) Hey, if you are ever over here in Dublin, look me up.....I can arrange for you to have as many Irish guys as you can handle...and you're right, they are mental!!:-)
Scorpgal5 - thanks for sharing your "lost the head" moments too - I find the scorps deliciously tantalizing:-) - no doubt your men find you equally so!!
And finally Virgosquared - hey what can I say....consider me perched on your lap...rather than you couch!!!.....and I'll let you run your hands through my red hair any day:-) No seriously, Virgosquared, your observations on my vulnerability are spot on, so spot on! - I am going to have to learn to take off that bullet-proof vest that I put on and wear round my heart and emotions and just let the mushies out!! So now I am ripping the vest off.....oh gosh....there go the mushies a-skippin' and a-jumpin' and running round the room....ooops one has just jumped into my computer and is cybering! its way right to your computer:-)
I digress into gibberishness:-).........I cannot thank you enough Virgosquared - it's like you see straight into the soul of each of us with our problems and are so articulate and helpful with your responses......maybe we should re-name you the soul-doctor!!
I'll keep you all posted.
P.S. My heartache didn't stop me having a dalliance or let's call it light entertainment! nite with a Mr. Aquarius last Sunday...it won't be repeated!!!! Need I say more!!
Ciao my pals.
A x
Thanks for the good wishes Looney:-)
Your dead right there Jakey...."my normal" is so different from most others!!:-)
Sweet-p, you precious wee bonny lass you:-) Hey, if you are ever over here in Dublin, look me up.....I can arrange for you to have as many Irish guys as you can handle...and you're right, they are mental!!:-)
Scorpgal5 - thanks for sharing your "lost the head" moments too - I find the scorps deliciously tantalizing:-) - no doubt your men find you equally so!!
And finally Virgosquared - hey what can I say....consider me perched on your lap...rather than you couch!!!.....and I'll let you run your hands through my red hair any day:-) No seriously, Virgosquared, your observations on my vulnerability are spot on, so spot on! - I am going to have to learn to take off that bullet-proof vest that I put on and wear round my heart and emotions and just let the mushies out!! So now I am ripping the vest off.....oh gosh....there go the mushies a-skippin' and a-jumpin' and running round the room....ooops one has just jumped into my computer and is cybering! its way right to your computer:-)
I digress into gibberishness:-).........I cannot thank you enough Virgosquared - it's like you see straight into the soul of each of us with our problems and are so articulate and helpful with your responses......maybe we should re-name you the soul-doctor!!
I'll keep you all posted.
P.S. My heartache didn't stop me having a dalliance or let's call it light entertainment! nite with a Mr. Aquarius last Sunday...it won't be repeated!!!! Need I say more!!
Ciao my pals.
A x
Update....less than 10 minutes ago my mobile phone rang on private no.
I answered it - it was Mister Ponytail! Immediate Misunderstandings!!!...I thought he said he was back in Italia! (me thinks - has he been home to Ireland and gone back there again!!!) I say - so how are things in Italia? He says - what you talking about! - I said I am back from Italia! not in it!! I say - where are you?? He replies.....where you think I am! - I am back in Dublin! I ask how the Mama is - The Mama is still pretty ill in hospital. He then asks...do you want to come over to see me later?!!:-) I go silent for about 10 seconds....I reply I can't make it over tonight. (I could but my hair's like a bird's nest plus I know all his drinking buddies and cousins will be there tonite to hear all the tales!!!). He says - OK then, see you tomorrow! - Mr. Presumptious!!..............and now, once I know that I can have him again....the same friggin thoughts are jumping through my head....do I really want him??.....now that I know he's accessible again.......he becomes less chaseable or!! if there is such a word...... Oh my....My shoulders are full of tension and my tummy full of nervous butterflies as the pros and cons of meeting up with him flurry through my mind.....I don't know what is wrong with this girl today— Sometimes I wish I had never met that man...when you've had the best of the best, you can't settle for less than that...and it/he/the situation has become like a drug...I'm addicted to it and him......damn that virgo man....:-)
Will keep you posted.
A x
I answered it - it was Mister Ponytail! Immediate Misunderstandings!!!...I thought he said he was back in Italia! (me thinks - has he been home to Ireland and gone back there again!!!) I say - so how are things in Italia? He says - what you talking about! - I said I am back from Italia! not in it!! I say - where are you?? He replies.....where you think I am! - I am back in Dublin! I ask how the Mama is - The Mama is still pretty ill in hospital. He then asks...do you want to come over to see me later?!!:-) I go silent for about 10 seconds....I reply I can't make it over tonight. (I could but my hair's like a bird's nest plus I know all his drinking buddies and cousins will be there tonite to hear all the tales!!!). He says - OK then, see you tomorrow! - Mr. Presumptious!!..............and now, once I know that I can have him again....the same friggin thoughts are jumping through my head....do I really want him??.....now that I know he's accessible again.......he becomes less chaseable or!! if there is such a word...... Oh my....My shoulders are full of tension and my tummy full of nervous butterflies as the pros and cons of meeting up with him flurry through my mind.....I don't know what is wrong with this girl today— Sometimes I wish I had never met that man...when you've had the best of the best, you can't settle for less than that...and it/he/the situation has become like a drug...I'm addicted to it and him......damn that virgo man....:-)
Will keep you posted.
A x
Woohoo!!! Alana you've got yourself a live one! What will you do now?
But seriously - this is fascinating to me. I wonder if it's the cultural differences. Those guys from pizza land 🙂 !!! The men I know would have run away and hidden after a call like yours, licking their wounds and wondering what the h*ll happened. But not your cool Mister Ponytail! He calls up like nothing happened to get you to come see him.
I dunno - that would probably make me crazy 😉 !!! But he probably just thinks - 'Ah, she's a fiery lass now isn't she!!' I think the men in my life could use at least a drop of that attitude - it sure would take the pressure off me. I'm always repressing that kind of outburst in the fear of scaring guys off completely but I know myself well enough to realize than losing my head to my emotions every once in a while is just a part of me. To find someone who can take that for what it is would be such a blessing!!!
So are you going to rush to his arms 😉 ??
ScorpGal
But seriously - this is fascinating to me. I wonder if it's the cultural differences. Those guys from pizza land 🙂 !!! The men I know would have run away and hidden after a call like yours, licking their wounds and wondering what the h*ll happened. But not your cool Mister Ponytail! He calls up like nothing happened to get you to come see him.
I dunno - that would probably make me crazy 😉 !!! But he probably just thinks - 'Ah, she's a fiery lass now isn't she!!' I think the men in my life could use at least a drop of that attitude - it sure would take the pressure off me. I'm always repressing that kind of outburst in the fear of scaring guys off completely but I know myself well enough to realize than losing my head to my emotions every once in a while is just a part of me. To find someone who can take that for what it is would be such a blessing!!!
So are you going to rush to his arms 😉 ??
ScorpGal
Alana,
You are so crazy, I love it. Sweetness, perched on my lap, me running my hands through your flaming silk, I'd be the one needing therapy. I wouldn't be any good for anyone lol. Oh wait, you followed that with "Seriously." That means you were kidding? Oh!! Melancholy and infinite sadness 😢 LOL!
Don't thank me Alana, you give me waaaaaaay too much credit. You had already said everything in your previous post.
Oh, and the mushy that jumped in your computer. It's sitting here just as content and happy to be free.
See, you ripped that vest from around your heart.
And did the world stop spinning Missy? 😉
LOL!!!
Take care Alana,
VirgoSquared
You are so crazy, I love it. Sweetness, perched on my lap, me running my hands through your flaming silk, I'd be the one needing therapy. I wouldn't be any good for anyone lol. Oh wait, you followed that with "Seriously." That means you were kidding? Oh!! Melancholy and infinite sadness 😢 LOL!
Don't thank me Alana, you give me waaaaaaay too much credit. You had already said everything in your previous post.
Oh, and the mushy that jumped in your computer. It's sitting here just as content and happy to be free.
See, you ripped that vest from around your heart.
And did the world stop spinning Missy? 😉
LOL!!!
Take care Alana,
VirgoSquared
Hello to you my pretty ones today and hope all is well in your worlds:-)
Come, come to Dublin Sweet-p - satisfaction guaranteed:-) - you'd be very welcome:-)
Virgo-S - no I don't give you wayyyyyyyyy too much credit.....you underestimate your virgonian prowess.....
I was off work yesterday so only now getting time to reply.....yesterday was one of my most perfectest rosy glowy glowy days to remember.....won't go into every nook and cranny detail of it or you'd be bored to bits!!...bottom-line....I met Mr. Virgo. He rang yesterday morning...we met later in city centre in our favourite pub....the tummy was a butter-flying as I walked in the bar....but her took a deep breath and walked tall....Mr. Ponytyail was perched on his throne...we smiled, said hi, and kissed on the cheek.....he told me his Italian tales (just to clairfy for Scorp girl) he's not italian acutally.....he grew up in Greece and Italy and spent most of his life in these countries where his brothers live now but he is orignally from war-torn Albania! Anyway, the mama is still very ill in Italy - it's 50-50 if she will survive. I was sitting on one chair facing him and he on the other....he pulled me over to sit beside me, put arms round me and said he missed me....then the passionate kisses:-) We just chatted and knoodled for a few hours and I had 3 vino - all our favourite songs seemed to be playing in the background....nobody interrupted us....then serious stuff....the phonecall came up - why had I said such stuff he asked? I told him I was drunk and too embarrassed to ring after it in case he wouldn't answer it...he siad he would never ever refuse a call from me no matter what I had done!!..we'd always be friends forever no matter what happens. Then and there I said sorry...and then and there he said sorry for leaving the nasty voicemail! Mr. Virgo hardly ever says sorry in his life....but the sorrys were coming fast and furious yesterday..for a virgo that is!!!:-) Said he hadn't got me a xmas present...having to go suddenly to Italy his money was all tied up....I shrugged nonchantenly but I was a tad disappointed but didn't let it show!!!! Towards end of this, he was getting a bit frisky to say the least....so I say, let's go to the toilet for a quicky....this is not his style in the least but he agrees....another misunderstanding..I think I am to go to the gents when he rings if no-one around but he thought he's to come to the ladies where I am...I am there but in the wash area...he comes to ladies, goes to first toilet and opens it - lady there alright but it ain't me...she got a big fright...so did Mr. Virgo!!....she starts shouting for secutiry etc....we have to dash out of there very quickly...:-) Then he took me to store and bought me my favourite perfume and basketfull of cosmetic goodies:-) Me delighted with this:-) I tell him I will go over to his later that evening....I do....some cousins and girlfriends there....we drink the italian home-made wine his brothers sent home for me....and retire.....3 nite-time delights:-).....it was just for me a perfect day......there was the natural interrogation! at one point....met any other guys honey etc. etc.— to which I replied..oh god no, honey!!! (Who need ever know about Mr. Aquarius from weekend before except me and the duncan gang!! - no need to "duncan expose" myself for that surely:-)...who knows what Italian bevvy of beauties he has had— even though he vehemently denies it:-)!! and who really cares.....so it's all glowy glowy mushy mushy for this moment in time.....won't last forever I am sure of that...but it is more than good enough for the moment:-)!!
Ciao my pals - from the land of tinted roses:-)
A x
Come, come to Dublin Sweet-p - satisfaction guaranteed:-) - you'd be very welcome:-)
Virgo-S - no I don't give you wayyyyyyyyy too much credit.....you underestimate your virgonian prowess.....
I was off work yesterday so only now getting time to reply.....yesterday was one of my most perfectest rosy glowy glowy days to remember.....won't go into every nook and cranny detail of it or you'd be bored to bits!!...bottom-line....I met Mr. Virgo. He rang yesterday morning...we met later in city centre in our favourite pub....the tummy was a butter-flying as I walked in the bar....but her took a deep breath and walked tall....Mr. Ponytyail was perched on his throne...we smiled, said hi, and kissed on the cheek.....he told me his Italian tales (just to clairfy for Scorp girl) he's not italian acutally.....he grew up in Greece and Italy and spent most of his life in these countries where his brothers live now but he is orignally from war-torn Albania! Anyway, the mama is still very ill in Italy - it's 50-50 if she will survive. I was sitting on one chair facing him and he on the other....he pulled me over to sit beside me, put arms round me and said he missed me....then the passionate kisses:-) We just chatted and knoodled for a few hours and I had 3 vino - all our favourite songs seemed to be playing in the background....nobody interrupted us....then serious stuff....the phonecall came up - why had I said such stuff he asked? I told him I was drunk and too embarrassed to ring after it in case he wouldn't answer it...he siad he would never ever refuse a call from me no matter what I had done!!..we'd always be friends forever no matter what happens. Then and there I said sorry...and then and there he said sorry for leaving the nasty voicemail! Mr. Virgo hardly ever says sorry in his life....but the sorrys were coming fast and furious yesterday..for a virgo that is!!!:-) Said he hadn't got me a xmas present...having to go suddenly to Italy his money was all tied up....I shrugged nonchantenly but I was a tad disappointed but didn't let it show!!!! Towards end of this, he was getting a bit frisky to say the least....so I say, let's go to the toilet for a quicky....this is not his style in the least but he agrees....another misunderstanding..I think I am to go to the gents when he rings if no-one around but he thought he's to come to the ladies where I am...I am there but in the wash area...he comes to ladies, goes to first toilet and opens it - lady there alright but it ain't me...she got a big fright...so did Mr. Virgo!!....she starts shouting for secutiry etc....we have to dash out of there very quickly...:-) Then he took me to store and bought me my favourite perfume and basketfull of cosmetic goodies:-) Me delighted with this:-) I tell him I will go over to his later that evening....I do....some cousins and girlfriends there....we drink the italian home-made wine his brothers sent home for me....and retire.....3 nite-time delights:-).....it was just for me a perfect day......there was the natural interrogation! at one point....met any other guys honey etc. etc.— to which I replied..oh god no, honey!!! (Who need ever know about Mr. Aquarius from weekend before except me and the duncan gang!! - no need to "duncan expose" myself for that surely:-)...who knows what Italian bevvy of beauties he has had— even though he vehemently denies it:-)!! and who really cares.....so it's all glowy glowy mushy mushy for this moment in time.....won't last forever I am sure of that...but it is more than good enough for the moment:-)!!
Ciao my pals - from the land of tinted roses:-)
A x
Right said Alana - about the virgo prowess! I know it too well, being twice bowled over by virgos myself ! your narration of Mr Ponytail seducing you was very enticing! Your saga demands attention of the Hollywood biggies always on sprawl for such a story of passion. never a dull moment. and your sense of humour is very infectious. You do live your life to the hilt my dear! The only way to go....
looney
looney
Alana we'd get along in real life.
We have similar reactions/approaches to people and especially relationships.
We have similar reactions/approaches to people and especially relationships.
Oh loony.....hollywood indeed!!! - The producers have already been on the phone.....we're in negotiations!!:-)
Like it Luz....someone on the same page as I am:-)
"Won't last forever I am sure of that...but it is more than good enough for the moment:-)!!" - famous last words!!!!
Cuh.....well it didn't!!!
By Friday nite, that man had me cussing him again......I wanted to go over and stay on Friday nite as I ususally do.....for four hours I try to phone him...all I get is a voicemail....I ring his cousin and ask him to get him to ring me....cousin says he hasn't seen him all day but when he comes home he will ask him to call!!! 10 O'clock comes..Mr. Ponytail rings...I say why aren't you answering your phone....he swears that his phone is on!!!! I say it can't be....he says yes, I say no way..blah blah...then he says and why aren't you over here in my house—...I say I never go over to his or to anyone's for that matter unannounced!!! He says that's stupid...I say stupid is it!!..and hang up!! and turn my fone off.next morning check my voicemails....the drunken bum rang at 2.15 am talking gibberish on it....anyway next day he rings me - we arrange to go over that nite...when I get there again I can't get in coz the voicemail is on....(and the doorbell is broken - have to ring if you want to get into that house!!!)...so there I am in the torrents of wind and rain having to shout over and over again his name so he can hear me on the top block...people going by think I am crazy no doubt...I get in like a demon!! - had been all dollied up but now look like a drowned rat after 10 minutes till he heard me....I say your friggin phone is on voicemail...he swears it's not.....we check....my no. is not ringing in....it's a new phone from italy and for some reason every other no. except mine can ring him.....we chill out having a few bottles of wine and watch Jackie Browne..I so love that black actress...I love her attitude....then we retire and it's time for me to give mr. Virgo his xmas box (albeit late!!) He appears to like the manicure leather set and brandy but is over the moon at the flamin anti-fungal dandruff shampoo!!! I had promised to get him a few days ago (there you go! those virgos and their cleanliness - he reads the flamin instructions about 20 times to get it right!!!) Then we open our brandy and are in brandy glow...he says he never wanted any presents from me - just my love....sweet....says this twice....we are in brandy love glow and then my phone goes off and shatters the moment.....it's a drunken guy called Luis I was with last year (again Mr. Virgo never found out about him - we were fighting and I did it to get at him) - I have to go into "think quick or I'm fcuked here" mode! and pretend that it's an ex work-colleague that I had to fire ages ago....the loo-la keeps ringing - mr. virgo wants to talk to him....help!!! I say no, no, I will deal with this...he rings again and I say...L. just because I had to fire you, you must not ring me in the middle of the nite etc etc. - guy on the other end goes quiet....with the gibberishness I am not talking...!!! Mr. Virgo says "Never in his life!" has he heard of an ex-work colleague ringing up someone at 2 in the morning.....but I persuade him hard that's the case..and he eventually believes me.....next morning we have brandy for breakfast...lovely in the morning to heat you up:-)
Sunday comes and I ring again - to be put onto the voicemail....he rings back soon and asks me to go over that nite and I agree......however, my ex-husband came that nite and we had a huge flamin fite...mega...mega....it leaves me drained and exhausted....and I literally cried for about 2 hours....and I hit the bottle....I should have rang mr. virgo to tell him I can't make it...but I don't....he rings at 10 - and gives out to me for not letting him know....I just hang up on him...I hadn't the energy or zump to go into what happened....so yesteday I leave a s
Like it Luz....someone on the same page as I am:-)
"Won't last forever I am sure of that...but it is more than good enough for the moment:-)!!" - famous last words!!!!
Cuh.....well it didn't!!!
By Friday nite, that man had me cussing him again......I wanted to go over and stay on Friday nite as I ususally do.....for four hours I try to phone him...all I get is a voicemail....I ring his cousin and ask him to get him to ring me....cousin says he hasn't seen him all day but when he comes home he will ask him to call!!! 10 O'clock comes..Mr. Ponytail rings...I say why aren't you answering your phone....he swears that his phone is on!!!! I say it can't be....he says yes, I say no way..blah blah...then he says and why aren't you over here in my house—...I say I never go over to his or to anyone's for that matter unannounced!!! He says that's stupid...I say stupid is it!!..and hang up!! and turn my fone off.next morning check my voicemails....the drunken bum rang at 2.15 am talking gibberish on it....anyway next day he rings me - we arrange to go over that nite...when I get there again I can't get in coz the voicemail is on....(and the doorbell is broken - have to ring if you want to get into that house!!!)...so there I am in the torrents of wind and rain having to shout over and over again his name so he can hear me on the top block...people going by think I am crazy no doubt...I get in like a demon!! - had been all dollied up but now look like a drowned rat after 10 minutes till he heard me....I say your friggin phone is on voicemail...he swears it's not.....we check....my no. is not ringing in....it's a new phone from italy and for some reason every other no. except mine can ring him.....we chill out having a few bottles of wine and watch Jackie Browne..I so love that black actress...I love her attitude....then we retire and it's time for me to give mr. Virgo his xmas box (albeit late!!) He appears to like the manicure leather set and brandy but is over the moon at the flamin anti-fungal dandruff shampoo!!! I had promised to get him a few days ago (there you go! those virgos and their cleanliness - he reads the flamin instructions about 20 times to get it right!!!) Then we open our brandy and are in brandy glow...he says he never wanted any presents from me - just my love....sweet....says this twice....we are in brandy love glow and then my phone goes off and shatters the moment.....it's a drunken guy called Luis I was with last year (again Mr. Virgo never found out about him - we were fighting and I did it to get at him) - I have to go into "think quick or I'm fcuked here" mode! and pretend that it's an ex work-colleague that I had to fire ages ago....the loo-la keeps ringing - mr. virgo wants to talk to him....help!!! I say no, no, I will deal with this...he rings again and I say...L. just because I had to fire you, you must not ring me in the middle of the nite etc etc. - guy on the other end goes quiet....with the gibberishness I am not talking...!!! Mr. Virgo says "Never in his life!" has he heard of an ex-work colleague ringing up someone at 2 in the morning.....but I persuade him hard that's the case..and he eventually believes me.....next morning we have brandy for breakfast...lovely in the morning to heat you up:-)
Sunday comes and I ring again - to be put onto the voicemail....he rings back soon and asks me to go over that nite and I agree......however, my ex-husband came that nite and we had a huge flamin fite...mega...mega....it leaves me drained and exhausted....and I literally cried for about 2 hours....and I hit the bottle....I should have rang mr. virgo to tell him I can't make it...but I don't....he rings at 10 - and gives out to me for not letting him know....I just hang up on him...I hadn't the energy or zump to go into what happened....so yesteday I leave a s
Hello to all the beauties out there and the bute guys!!
And the beat goes on:-) - weekly update on the cumings and goings of Alana and Mister Virgo!!!
Met Mr. Virgo in his house on Friday. We had arranged a blind date for his cousin with my pal who we are to meet in city centre later that nite. Now here is where Mr. Virgo's perfectionism nearly caused chaos. We leave his house to get the bus...it's beginning to rain...I put on a cap, which he hates!!...he says he will not go out with me wearing that cap! I say, I am only wearing it till we get to the bustop...he says take it off!...I say no way!....we stand on his steps in "stand-off" mode for about 10 minutes!! I say forget going out, if you can't look at me in a cap, tough!!...he says the cap is not for me!! Blah blah....enuf, I go back into the house and get a big umbrella (I really want to meet my pal)....he won't give me the umbrella, says it's too big for me! and that it will look out of place...I can't believe how childish he is acting over caps and umbrellas!!!...I sit with my arms folded in the sulks...after 5 minutes he says, come on, let's go out but before we go we will have jiggy jiggy once...it will calm down your nerves!!...I say don't dare touch me!! Next he informs me I have too much make-up on me.....nows he knows he's gone too far when he sees the glint in my eye....so he says, I like the original Alana without the make-up!!!yeah sure....he thinks the guys won't look at me as much if I leave it off!!! Eventually we go...I put on my cap anyway!! Went to a nice pub and then he informs me that his cousin can't make it - got drunk after work and fast asleep...I am annoyed because he's done all the arranging and my pal is due any moment....anyway, my pal arrives....after a few drinks we decide to go back to his house for party - my pal comes and we wake up Mr. Sleepy...who suddenly is very perky to see my pal....she's had too much wine and is slobbering over all the men!!!! Next, she pulls down her zipped cardigan in front of Mr. Virgo and reveals herself!! I suddenly get very jealous but of course won't show it...just go silent...she realizes she's overstepped the mark and keeps asking me - am I alright!!! Anyway, everyone retires for the nite..she stays over with his cousin....next morning we all go to the pub to watch the football match....a few more drinks and she's all over Mr. Virgo again - despite his cousin and me being present......hmmmm me think to myself...me got a virgo-stalker as my pal.....
Sat. nite Mr. V. didn't ring till late...too late for me to arrange to go out with babysitter....he does this trick quite often so we have a argument over it....I say, don't bother ringing late....I have plenty of other friends I can go out with....he says he fell asleep!!!!!.....we hang up!!
Sunday he rings - full of the joys of spring!!! Go over to his that nite and he's the flu...an excuse for drinking two bottles of brandy - well between four of us.!!...other friends there too.....brandy is not a good drink for him.....he gets too boisterous and rough....the friends leave and he's messing throwing me up and down....he misses, I fall on my back, he falls over me and gashes his head on the electric heater....that put a stop to his gallop...had to go into nurse mode...wipe his bleeding brow!!
Yesterday, I felt quite depressed....I know I am the author of my own life and show...but when I am with that man, I drink too much, he gambles too much, I re-act too extremist to his "crazy" comments, everything is unpredictable.....life at the cutting edge I suppose....but I think my edges are getting cut too deep!!! I seem to lose myself when I am with him....When it's good, it's very very good, when it's bad, it so bad...and the bads are beginning to outweigh the goods....plus I am getting too jealous (that means for an aquarius I care too deeply for this person). Care too deeply, just get hurt...I need to find the
And the beat goes on:-) - weekly update on the cumings and goings of Alana and Mister Virgo!!!
Met Mr. Virgo in his house on Friday. We had arranged a blind date for his cousin with my pal who we are to meet in city centre later that nite. Now here is where Mr. Virgo's perfectionism nearly caused chaos. We leave his house to get the bus...it's beginning to rain...I put on a cap, which he hates!!...he says he will not go out with me wearing that cap! I say, I am only wearing it till we get to the bustop...he says take it off!...I say no way!....we stand on his steps in "stand-off" mode for about 10 minutes!! I say forget going out, if you can't look at me in a cap, tough!!...he says the cap is not for me!! Blah blah....enuf, I go back into the house and get a big umbrella (I really want to meet my pal)....he won't give me the umbrella, says it's too big for me! and that it will look out of place...I can't believe how childish he is acting over caps and umbrellas!!!...I sit with my arms folded in the sulks...after 5 minutes he says, come on, let's go out but before we go we will have jiggy jiggy once...it will calm down your nerves!!...I say don't dare touch me!! Next he informs me I have too much make-up on me.....nows he knows he's gone too far when he sees the glint in my eye....so he says, I like the original Alana without the make-up!!!yeah sure....he thinks the guys won't look at me as much if I leave it off!!! Eventually we go...I put on my cap anyway!! Went to a nice pub and then he informs me that his cousin can't make it - got drunk after work and fast asleep...I am annoyed because he's done all the arranging and my pal is due any moment....anyway, my pal arrives....after a few drinks we decide to go back to his house for party - my pal comes and we wake up Mr. Sleepy...who suddenly is very perky to see my pal....she's had too much wine and is slobbering over all the men!!!! Next, she pulls down her zipped cardigan in front of Mr. Virgo and reveals herself!! I suddenly get very jealous but of course won't show it...just go silent...she realizes she's overstepped the mark and keeps asking me - am I alright!!! Anyway, everyone retires for the nite..she stays over with his cousin....next morning we all go to the pub to watch the football match....a few more drinks and she's all over Mr. Virgo again - despite his cousin and me being present......hmmmm me think to myself...me got a virgo-stalker as my pal.....
Sat. nite Mr. V. didn't ring till late...too late for me to arrange to go out with babysitter....he does this trick quite often so we have a argument over it....I say, don't bother ringing late....I have plenty of other friends I can go out with....he says he fell asleep!!!!!.....we hang up!!
Sunday he rings - full of the joys of spring!!! Go over to his that nite and he's the flu...an excuse for drinking two bottles of brandy - well between four of us.!!...other friends there too.....brandy is not a good drink for him.....he gets too boisterous and rough....the friends leave and he's messing throwing me up and down....he misses, I fall on my back, he falls over me and gashes his head on the electric heater....that put a stop to his gallop...had to go into nurse mode...wipe his bleeding brow!!
Yesterday, I felt quite depressed....I know I am the author of my own life and show...but when I am with that man, I drink too much, he gambles too much, I re-act too extremist to his "crazy" comments, everything is unpredictable.....life at the cutting edge I suppose....but I think my edges are getting cut too deep!!! I seem to lose myself when I am with him....When it's good, it's very very good, when it's bad, it so bad...and the bads are beginning to outweigh the goods....plus I am getting too jealous (that means for an aquarius I care too deeply for this person). Care too deeply, just get hurt...I need to find the
Hi Alana,
Ah - the saga of your relationship with Mr. Virgo. Truly, I would never be able to handle the drama. Life at the cutting edge indeed 😉 !!!
To me, a relationship with a man such as your Mr.Virgo may be OK for a fling - but long term? Whew, I don't think I would want to go there.
Dear Alana, this man is not bringing out the best in you. You react too extremist to his 'crazy' comments? Maybe not. Things like the fight over wearing the cap out the door? He is trying to control you and you are rebelling. There is nothing wrong with that. You are a strong woman and don't want to be told what to do.
If you don't mind my asking - what is it that you want from a relationship right now? If long term security is part of it - it doesn't sound like you will get it from this man. I don't necessarily mean that he would cheat on you or anything like that - just that it would probably always be much as it is now - up and down - but as the excitement of making up after the fights wears off, you are just left with the fights 😢 ...
You know, it is often the drink that brings this out in people - have you tried spending time with him where you both do not party? What happens then? Maybe a little experiment 😉?
Take care Alana. And thanks for sharing with us. Hope this has a happy ending!
ScorpGal
Ah - the saga of your relationship with Mr. Virgo. Truly, I would never be able to handle the drama. Life at the cutting edge indeed 😉 !!!
To me, a relationship with a man such as your Mr.Virgo may be OK for a fling - but long term? Whew, I don't think I would want to go there.
Dear Alana, this man is not bringing out the best in you. You react too extremist to his 'crazy' comments? Maybe not. Things like the fight over wearing the cap out the door? He is trying to control you and you are rebelling. There is nothing wrong with that. You are a strong woman and don't want to be told what to do.
If you don't mind my asking - what is it that you want from a relationship right now? If long term security is part of it - it doesn't sound like you will get it from this man. I don't necessarily mean that he would cheat on you or anything like that - just that it would probably always be much as it is now - up and down - but as the excitement of making up after the fights wears off, you are just left with the fights 😢 ...
You know, it is often the drink that brings this out in people - have you tried spending time with him where you both do not party? What happens then? Maybe a little experiment 😉?
Take care Alana. And thanks for sharing with us. Hope this has a happy ending!
ScorpGal
Scorpiogal - Thanks for all your wise and insightful observations....you are dead right....alcohol can have alot to do with me anyway....both of us cut down on it big time last year for about 3 weeks and we were like two lambs to the slaughter!!!....just watched tv most nites, no mad fights (still crazy comments from the virgonian...!!) but I didn't react:-) so perhaps it's less-alco time.....
I fibbed to Mr. Virgo last night making up an excuse on the phone that I couldn't go over at the last minute...I just needed Alana time....he just replied curtly - fine, ok and bye....if I was a bird my wings would be severely clipped...but I ain't!:-) - and what's more I don't think I will go over tonite either......if he rings, yes maybe...if he doesn't no, I won't and then the "won't ring first" syndrome will set in -
As for what I want from this relationship....to be honest it's not long-term security at all (I've had that for 14 years with ex-hubby and I turned into a boring fuddy-duddy - that is until I found out one day he was gay! (story for another day!!) so now I just like to social butterfly around and around and around....to be honest if I really wanted to, Mr. Virgo would settle down very well with me - on the plus, he's very family oriented, loyal, a hard worker (all his bosses speak highly of him and he always gets excellent references from them), great around the house as cleaner-upper:-) cook, mr. fix-it....but I don't want to be tied down by anyone anymore and that's what virgos do and especially albanian/italian/greek virgos - differnt cultures completely from the Irish...that's probably half the attraction...the exotic of the strange....
Anyway, thanks for the interest my pal....you keep scorpio-ing:-) as only you can do.
A x
I fibbed to Mr. Virgo last night making up an excuse on the phone that I couldn't go over at the last minute...I just needed Alana time....he just replied curtly - fine, ok and bye....if I was a bird my wings would be severely clipped...but I ain't!:-) - and what's more I don't think I will go over tonite either......if he rings, yes maybe...if he doesn't no, I won't and then the "won't ring first" syndrome will set in -
As for what I want from this relationship....to be honest it's not long-term security at all (I've had that for 14 years with ex-hubby and I turned into a boring fuddy-duddy - that is until I found out one day he was gay! (story for another day!!) so now I just like to social butterfly around and around and around....to be honest if I really wanted to, Mr. Virgo would settle down very well with me - on the plus, he's very family oriented, loyal, a hard worker (all his bosses speak highly of him and he always gets excellent references from them), great around the house as cleaner-upper:-) cook, mr. fix-it....but I don't want to be tied down by anyone anymore and that's what virgos do and especially albanian/italian/greek virgos - differnt cultures completely from the Irish...that's probably half the attraction...the exotic of the strange....
Anyway, thanks for the interest my pal....you keep scorpio-ing:-) as only you can do.
A x
Hello to you looney and all the gang...sorry haven't had much time to "board it" lately but too friggin busy in work...just have time to glimpse read everyone's snippets but no time to write to anyone much.
So after about two weeks, I will give you the latest on Mr. Virgo Ponytail.
You may remember the "cap incident" some weeks ago when he refused to go out with me wearing my base-ball cap....so we returned to the house, I sulked for about 10 minutes and eventually we did go out with my cap on!!!.......well the following week I am in his bedroom and of course, I decide to "peek-a-boo" into his presses...something I swore before I would never do again!!....never look in anyone's dressers, lockers, wardrobes unless you want to find something you won't like!!! Me opens the press and there perched on top shelf is a lady's hat! - a huge fluffy, russian-gorbacov style hat!!!....hmmmm me thinks....who the hell owns that hat??!!....he has known a few russian ladies here in Dublin in the past!!! Anyway, I don't give it too much thought...hop in the bed and Mr. V. comes to bed.....he opens the press and presents me with the hat....he said he bought it so that I will wear it rather than the baseball cap!!!....the baseball cap is not for me!!! He promptly puts it on my head....I run to the mirror to see what it's like...think "The spy who loved me"!! but gone wrong!!!! Very nice if it was the depths of snow over there in Russia but I'd be laughed off the streets to be honest if I wore it around my area.....the price tag is still on it...he's paid way too much for that piece of greyish fluff!!!! So anyway, I have to fib and say oh it's beautiful, beautiful, beautiful....
Only last Friday, I go over to his place again and there's a beautiful hand-made black Italian three quarter length leather jacket on the couch....I think it's for one of cousin's girlfriend's etc. etc. - really was gorgeoius....he says's it's for Av. his cousin's girlfriend and asks me to try it on to see if it fits..we are the same size. I model it for him....anyway, once again in the bedroom, he comes down with jacket....it wasn't for Av. but for me all along.....I don't really know what to say.....this is not like Mr. Virgo....all different expensive presents every week...I feel embarrrassed by it all....and just say thank you.......so all is well, last weekend I am wearing the jacket, minus the ruskie hat! of course and we all had nice weekend until sunday nite when I mention that his cousin had rang me earlier that day but I hadn't answered. Wrong thing to say!!!! He goes into a mood and says that I must have been ringing him initially for him to ring back and why did I give his cousin my number!!!! I say - don't be silly - I didn't ring him..he rang me! and I didn't even talk with him!....the mood blackens...we retire to bed and again he brings up the phone call and says to me...for giving your number to that man, you lose me!!......I say - lose you!! right....well then I must be lost!!!blah blah....and then the final nasty comment he made was - next time I see my cousin, I will tell him to give you just one drink and you will go off and have sex with him like you always do!!!!! I reply - what did you say just then?....he repeats it....I slowly turn to him and say to him now...that gypsy comment tells me what you really think of me and just for that comment you have lost me! I get up and try to get dressed even though he's pulling me back into the bed and asking him to give him a "proper kiss" - whatever that means!!!. I don't...I just walk down the steps, he opens the door and I go without saying anything....in the taxi he keeps ringing, I won't answer.......next morning he rings, I still don't answer....eventually I answer around mid-day.....he wants to know what's up with me?......I repeat what he said the previous nite and say it's unacceptable..blah blah...below my level, he's below my level in every department blah blah.
So after about two weeks, I will give you the latest on Mr. Virgo Ponytail.
You may remember the "cap incident" some weeks ago when he refused to go out with me wearing my base-ball cap....so we returned to the house, I sulked for about 10 minutes and eventually we did go out with my cap on!!!.......well the following week I am in his bedroom and of course, I decide to "peek-a-boo" into his presses...something I swore before I would never do again!!....never look in anyone's dressers, lockers, wardrobes unless you want to find something you won't like!!! Me opens the press and there perched on top shelf is a lady's hat! - a huge fluffy, russian-gorbacov style hat!!!....hmmmm me thinks....who the hell owns that hat??!!....he has known a few russian ladies here in Dublin in the past!!! Anyway, I don't give it too much thought...hop in the bed and Mr. V. comes to bed.....he opens the press and presents me with the hat....he said he bought it so that I will wear it rather than the baseball cap!!!....the baseball cap is not for me!!! He promptly puts it on my head....I run to the mirror to see what it's like...think "The spy who loved me"!! but gone wrong!!!! Very nice if it was the depths of snow over there in Russia but I'd be laughed off the streets to be honest if I wore it around my area.....the price tag is still on it...he's paid way too much for that piece of greyish fluff!!!! So anyway, I have to fib and say oh it's beautiful, beautiful, beautiful....
Only last Friday, I go over to his place again and there's a beautiful hand-made black Italian three quarter length leather jacket on the couch....I think it's for one of cousin's girlfriend's etc. etc. - really was gorgeoius....he says's it's for Av. his cousin's girlfriend and asks me to try it on to see if it fits..we are the same size. I model it for him....anyway, once again in the bedroom, he comes down with jacket....it wasn't for Av. but for me all along.....I don't really know what to say.....this is not like Mr. Virgo....all different expensive presents every week...I feel embarrrassed by it all....and just say thank you.......so all is well, last weekend I am wearing the jacket, minus the ruskie hat! of course and we all had nice weekend until sunday nite when I mention that his cousin had rang me earlier that day but I hadn't answered. Wrong thing to say!!!! He goes into a mood and says that I must have been ringing him initially for him to ring back and why did I give his cousin my number!!!! I say - don't be silly - I didn't ring him..he rang me! and I didn't even talk with him!....the mood blackens...we retire to bed and again he brings up the phone call and says to me...for giving your number to that man, you lose me!!......I say - lose you!! right....well then I must be lost!!!blah blah....and then the final nasty comment he made was - next time I see my cousin, I will tell him to give you just one drink and you will go off and have sex with him like you always do!!!!! I reply - what did you say just then?....he repeats it....I slowly turn to him and say to him now...that gypsy comment tells me what you really think of me and just for that comment you have lost me! I get up and try to get dressed even though he's pulling me back into the bed and asking him to give him a "proper kiss" - whatever that means!!!. I don't...I just walk down the steps, he opens the door and I go without saying anything....in the taxi he keeps ringing, I won't answer.......next morning he rings, I still don't answer....eventually I answer around mid-day.....he wants to know what's up with me?......I repeat what he said the previous nite and say it's unacceptable..blah blah...below my level, he's below my level in every department blah blah.
Helo Looney and gang, have soem free times to I thought I'd share with you some more developments.
Well, as you know, all last week, not a word from Mr. Virgo after I told him he had lost me....etc. even though it was my birthday....My golden rule is never to ring him.....but I suppose rules are made to be broken sometimes!! and I rang him Saturday evening.....he said too many times I had walked out on him....100's...I say, too many times, he talks gibberish and hurts me etc.....we are going round and round in circles...I say to him, OK, do you want to see me tonite or do we say good-bye now. I am full sure he will say, yes, I want to see you - come over - he's always done that in the past after we "talk". However, for once, he says - Let me think about it!! My heart sinks but I don't let him know...I reply I am "not a think abou it girl"! It's yes or no, no maybes. I sa how long do you need? I don't wait round for anyone!!! Again he says he needs time out to think about it. I reply - let's just forget it..and hang up. I can't believe that he doesn't want to see me....you know the mixture of disappointment and uugh feeling all mixed up with anger. I return home and am watching television....ten minutes later, he rings....but I have put my phone onto voicemail after 2 rings....he keeps ringing and ringing....in the meantime I have made arrangments to go out with my pal H. Afer about 20 rings, I answer, he is now in his "I want you back" mode! Will you come over and we will talk...now it's my think about it time...I say I just don't know, I will have to think about it....he keeps ringing asking me have I made up my mind....I keep saying I am still thinking....now he replies...well think about this, if you don't come over tonite, we are finished, I am no longer your boyfriend and he hangs up:-) Now I get a little alarmed....I know it's head-games....I ring him back and say OK I do want to see you but it will be about an hour...
Over I go......he keeps saying he didn't make a mistake...his cousin shouldn't have rang me....I don't let him away with that one....I stand my groud and wear him down by just repeating no-one is goign to tell me who to be with or what to do....his language is unacceptalbe etc.....eventaully we go to the pub.....I ask him why he didn't ring for my birthday...he said I shoudl have rang hi to ask him fo a birthday drink...afterall I told him I had lost him the day before....we go round in circles......then my pal arrives and before long we are all having a good time. We return to his place with lots of wine as she is now with his cousin.....I trip on the way and smash a bottle of good red!!! Oh well.....next moorning, we have more wine.....I fall asleep till 4.30 pm - there's a search warrant out looking for me at home.......again on Sunday nite I go down to his - he has bought me an Eric Roberts video for my birthday!!!! Cuh! Nice thought...he tells me he wouldn't bother saying hurtful things if he didn't care about me!!
However, the story is going to end this week. My first decision is that from today I am stopping drinking for good. I think I might be on the verge of alcoholism - I just binge too much at weekends. Not good for my son to see or anybody....it changes my personality too much.
Second decision, this time I am saying good-bye to Mr. Virgo for good. Yes, I will miss him, yes, I do love him but the last two and half years are just too roller-coastish, even for me!!! Going to spend more time at home, with my son, doing ordinary stuff - I am going to leave the world of mad parties, fights, casino-land, jealousy etc. and most of all earth-shattering sex but hey ho!
I am glad with my decisions.....I just kdon't know what words to use to say good-bye to Mr. V. - he never belived me inthe past when I said good-bye....but this time round it's so different.
A x
Well, as you know, all last week, not a word from Mr. Virgo after I told him he had lost me....etc. even though it was my birthday....My golden rule is never to ring him.....but I suppose rules are made to be broken sometimes!! and I rang him Saturday evening.....he said too many times I had walked out on him....100's...I say, too many times, he talks gibberish and hurts me etc.....we are going round and round in circles...I say to him, OK, do you want to see me tonite or do we say good-bye now. I am full sure he will say, yes, I want to see you - come over - he's always done that in the past after we "talk". However, for once, he says - Let me think about it!! My heart sinks but I don't let him know...I reply I am "not a think abou it girl"! It's yes or no, no maybes. I sa how long do you need? I don't wait round for anyone!!! Again he says he needs time out to think about it. I reply - let's just forget it..and hang up. I can't believe that he doesn't want to see me....you know the mixture of disappointment and uugh feeling all mixed up with anger. I return home and am watching television....ten minutes later, he rings....but I have put my phone onto voicemail after 2 rings....he keeps ringing and ringing....in the meantime I have made arrangments to go out with my pal H. Afer about 20 rings, I answer, he is now in his "I want you back" mode! Will you come over and we will talk...now it's my think about it time...I say I just don't know, I will have to think about it....he keeps ringing asking me have I made up my mind....I keep saying I am still thinking....now he replies...well think about this, if you don't come over tonite, we are finished, I am no longer your boyfriend and he hangs up:-) Now I get a little alarmed....I know it's head-games....I ring him back and say OK I do want to see you but it will be about an hour...
Over I go......he keeps saying he didn't make a mistake...his cousin shouldn't have rang me....I don't let him away with that one....I stand my groud and wear him down by just repeating no-one is goign to tell me who to be with or what to do....his language is unacceptalbe etc.....eventaully we go to the pub.....I ask him why he didn't ring for my birthday...he said I shoudl have rang hi to ask him fo a birthday drink...afterall I told him I had lost him the day before....we go round in circles......then my pal arrives and before long we are all having a good time. We return to his place with lots of wine as she is now with his cousin.....I trip on the way and smash a bottle of good red!!! Oh well.....next moorning, we have more wine.....I fall asleep till 4.30 pm - there's a search warrant out looking for me at home.......again on Sunday nite I go down to his - he has bought me an Eric Roberts video for my birthday!!!! Cuh! Nice thought...he tells me he wouldn't bother saying hurtful things if he didn't care about me!!
However, the story is going to end this week. My first decision is that from today I am stopping drinking for good. I think I might be on the verge of alcoholism - I just binge too much at weekends. Not good for my son to see or anybody....it changes my personality too much.
Second decision, this time I am saying good-bye to Mr. Virgo for good. Yes, I will miss him, yes, I do love him but the last two and half years are just too roller-coastish, even for me!!! Going to spend more time at home, with my son, doing ordinary stuff - I am going to leave the world of mad parties, fights, casino-land, jealousy etc. and most of all earth-shattering sex but hey ho!
I am glad with my decisions.....I just kdon't know what words to use to say good-bye to Mr. V. - he never belived me inthe past when I said good-bye....but this time round it's so different.
A x
Hi Alana!
I have been regularly following up your updates, though I am not active on these boards nowadays.
Your decision of giving up on MY V seems to be for the best. Considering the trauma that the relationship causes & your concern for your son.
I just wish happiness for you my dear.
Looney Bird
I have been regularly following up your updates, though I am not active on these boards nowadays.
Your decision of giving up on MY V seems to be for the best. Considering the trauma that the relationship causes & your concern for your son.
I just wish happiness for you my dear.
Looney Bird
error read MY as Mr.
Hi Alana,
I have been following too although work has kept me from spending the time to post. You have been in my thoughts though...
I think you are wise to give yourself some time. You have been riding this roller-coaster with your Mr. Virgo for so long - and it sounds like it is wearing you down. Those rides can be a thrill, but sooner or later the thrill wears off - I can't imagine anyone keeping that up for too long. A fresh perspective would do you a world of good!
Truly, a man who would say things hurtful and insulting things to you 'just to see your reaction' doesn't have your best interests at heart! In my books, all the presents in the world would never make up for the lack of respect and sensitivity.
Best of luck to you Alana - take care of yourself first - you are most important!!! I'm betting that if you take this time to be with yourself and your family, you will see your Mr. Virgo in a different light. Then you will be able to evaluate your feelings from this different perspective.
I hope it helps for you to know that we are listening and support you! If you have the time, let us know how you are making out.
Hugs from ScorpGal
I have been following too although work has kept me from spending the time to post. You have been in my thoughts though...
I think you are wise to give yourself some time. You have been riding this roller-coaster with your Mr. Virgo for so long - and it sounds like it is wearing you down. Those rides can be a thrill, but sooner or later the thrill wears off - I can't imagine anyone keeping that up for too long. A fresh perspective would do you a world of good!
Truly, a man who would say things hurtful and insulting things to you 'just to see your reaction' doesn't have your best interests at heart! In my books, all the presents in the world would never make up for the lack of respect and sensitivity.
Best of luck to you Alana - take care of yourself first - you are most important!!! I'm betting that if you take this time to be with yourself and your family, you will see your Mr. Virgo in a different light. Then you will be able to evaluate your feelings from this different perspective.
I hope it helps for you to know that we are listening and support you! If you have the time, let us know how you are making out.
Hugs from ScorpGal
Hello to you Looney and Scorpiogal....and once again I thank you for your concern and support and your helpful words and insights.
Yesterday, I had the day off work I hadn't talked with Mr. Virgo since Monday because having talked with him three times on the phone that day and all OK-ish, I then went to bed early. He rang 15 times after that but I was out cold and didn't hear him as I put the phone on silent. So of course, on Tuesday and Wednesday he wouldn't take my calls - although I only rang him times. As you know, I had made my decison to end it so yesterday I decide to do the deed. I plan and reherse everything in my head, what to say to him, where to say it and to try finish as friends. I rang him yesterday midday and we arrange to meet in town for lunch. When we meet in city centre, he informs me that he has lost all his money on gambling and can't even afford lunch! I say no problem so we go to Food Emporium and I buy him lunch. Then we go to the pub where we first met over two and half years ago. He's on anti-biotics and I am not drinking so I get two fizzy waters!!! We just chit-chat over ordinary stuff for a while and then he goes on and on about me not answering the phone the other nite...I tell him I didn't hear it....he says maybe I was out with other boyfriend etc. etc......round and round it goes.......I think to myself now is the opportune moment and get ready to prepare my good-bye speech. Just as I look into his eyes, he asks me for a lend of quite alot of money. I reply - no, not for your gambling habit, I will give anything to anybody in need but not to you for your gambling. He replies - "That's not very nice. Never in your life, (never in your life is an infamous saying of his!) have you done anything nice for me - I've done 100's of nice things for you, not one nice thing have you done for me!" (This is the man I have just bought lunch for!!!) At this stage, I am punch-drunk!!...staggered beyond the power of expression shall we say!! I say to him...please just leave N. He says, you want me to leave, are you very sure of that?....I say yes, just leave. He goes - I am left sitting there in no-mans-land. I had wanted to finish it nicely, tie it all up in a bow, bring closure and I had wanted to thank him for the good times and the things I had learnt from him.........but no, things didn't go according to plan. I think to myself I have to finish this once and for all and go out on the street to try find him...no sign...I ring his mobile - he is not answering, I text him to say, come back I need to talk to you.....I ring and ring like a mad dog with a bone....he turns his phone off completely. So I go home, I keep ringing but he won't answer. Then complete anger sets in with me and I text him a nasty text.....bottom line - saying to get lost - your a loser!!
I feel awful today, not for ending it but for the way it ended....I wanted to have my good-bye speech, I didn't want to have texted that angry text, I hate calling anyone a loser, I wanted dignity to the closure.....but it all fell apart.
But then again, perhaps it was all meant to be like that. I am just sick of him...and it's only when you are sick of your sickness that one begins to get well again.
So I certainly won't be ringing, texting or meeting Mr. V. again and I have a feeling he won't be with me either.....all phone-d out, all text-ed out, all Mr. Virgo-ed out. Too much hard work. The only thing and I wish it wasn't so is that now my pal and his cousin (Mr. V. lives with this cousin) have a thing going on - she's bound to tell me snippets about Mr. V. and I just want complete detachment, termination. Guess I will just have to tell her I don't want to hear anything.
Sorry to go on and on and on..........just had to get it out on paper how I am feeling and what happened.
So I will say ciao for now loony and scorp.....today the day has me but tomoro I wiil have the d
Yesterday, I had the day off work I hadn't talked with Mr. Virgo since Monday because having talked with him three times on the phone that day and all OK-ish, I then went to bed early. He rang 15 times after that but I was out cold and didn't hear him as I put the phone on silent. So of course, on Tuesday and Wednesday he wouldn't take my calls - although I only rang him times. As you know, I had made my decison to end it so yesterday I decide to do the deed. I plan and reherse everything in my head, what to say to him, where to say it and to try finish as friends. I rang him yesterday midday and we arrange to meet in town for lunch. When we meet in city centre, he informs me that he has lost all his money on gambling and can't even afford lunch! I say no problem so we go to Food Emporium and I buy him lunch. Then we go to the pub where we first met over two and half years ago. He's on anti-biotics and I am not drinking so I get two fizzy waters!!! We just chit-chat over ordinary stuff for a while and then he goes on and on about me not answering the phone the other nite...I tell him I didn't hear it....he says maybe I was out with other boyfriend etc. etc......round and round it goes.......I think to myself now is the opportune moment and get ready to prepare my good-bye speech. Just as I look into his eyes, he asks me for a lend of quite alot of money. I reply - no, not for your gambling habit, I will give anything to anybody in need but not to you for your gambling. He replies - "That's not very nice. Never in your life, (never in your life is an infamous saying of his!) have you done anything nice for me - I've done 100's of nice things for you, not one nice thing have you done for me!" (This is the man I have just bought lunch for!!!) At this stage, I am punch-drunk!!...staggered beyond the power of expression shall we say!! I say to him...please just leave N. He says, you want me to leave, are you very sure of that?....I say yes, just leave. He goes - I am left sitting there in no-mans-land. I had wanted to finish it nicely, tie it all up in a bow, bring closure and I had wanted to thank him for the good times and the things I had learnt from him.........but no, things didn't go according to plan. I think to myself I have to finish this once and for all and go out on the street to try find him...no sign...I ring his mobile - he is not answering, I text him to say, come back I need to talk to you.....I ring and ring like a mad dog with a bone....he turns his phone off completely. So I go home, I keep ringing but he won't answer. Then complete anger sets in with me and I text him a nasty text.....bottom line - saying to get lost - your a loser!!
I feel awful today, not for ending it but for the way it ended....I wanted to have my good-bye speech, I didn't want to have texted that angry text, I hate calling anyone a loser, I wanted dignity to the closure.....but it all fell apart.
But then again, perhaps it was all meant to be like that. I am just sick of him...and it's only when you are sick of your sickness that one begins to get well again.
So I certainly won't be ringing, texting or meeting Mr. V. again and I have a feeling he won't be with me either.....all phone-d out, all text-ed out, all Mr. Virgo-ed out. Too much hard work. The only thing and I wish it wasn't so is that now my pal and his cousin (Mr. V. lives with this cousin) have a thing going on - she's bound to tell me snippets about Mr. V. and I just want complete detachment, termination. Guess I will just have to tell her I don't want to hear anything.
Sorry to go on and on and on..........just had to get it out on paper how I am feeling and what happened.
So I will say ciao for now loony and scorp.....today the day has me but tomoro I wiil have the d
AWWWWWWW Alana all our warm wishes are with you with lots of hugsssssssss. Your realtionship has always been so volatile that a chance for a peacful dialogue seemed to be slim. You so rock when you say you wanted to give a dignified closure. Shows how much dignity you carry in your heart. But see here is the catch. Your guilt of saying goodbye in a nasty way could get to you and you would find yourself straight back into his arms.
Well the two of you still dig each other- i would say have obssession for each other. But like I mentioned earlier you are right in thinking about ending it. And as ScorpGal put it he doesn't have your best interest in his heart with the way he insults you.
You have so much else going for you and with all your obvious charms you can always have so many romantic opportunites where you may not go through all the heartaches that you are experiencing here.
Like scorpGal suggested take this time to be with yourself and your family. You are the number one. You dont need a man who is accusing you while you are buying him lunch & the cheek of him that he wants to borrow more for gambling!
Be Strong. There is light at the end of the Tunnel.
All the best to you
hugssssssssssss
Well the two of you still dig each other- i would say have obssession for each other. But like I mentioned earlier you are right in thinking about ending it. And as ScorpGal put it he doesn't have your best interest in his heart with the way he insults you.
You have so much else going for you and with all your obvious charms you can always have so many romantic opportunites where you may not go through all the heartaches that you are experiencing here.
Like scorpGal suggested take this time to be with yourself and your family. You are the number one. You dont need a man who is accusing you while you are buying him lunch & the cheek of him that he wants to borrow more for gambling!
Be Strong. There is light at the end of the Tunnel.
All the best to you
hugssssssssssss
Thank you so much for all that good fuzzy warm thoughts and wishes Looney and Scorp once again...................light at the end of the tunnel.....me thinketh my tunnel runs forever....me I am like a fast train rolling up a hill.........
Just to keep you updated...I know you are awaiting with bated breath the next installment.........!!!! I won't go into all the details - a summary shall we say......
So there was no dignified closure or anything like it that day with Mr. V. and so it was finished in my mind.....I actually stayed in the whole weekend.....quite and innocent girl that I am! However, it's hard because I have to listen to my lovely friend tell me of her comings and goings down in his house with his cousin who she's now seeing. I feel like saying..shut up..but who am I to take away her love-stories and her look of love..it was flamin' I that introduced the two of them!!!! On Valentine day, I seen a missed call from Mr. V. in the morning. Later that day, I said to myself, here's your opportunity, ring him back to see what he wants - be polite and act like an adult!!.......I say you rang earlier - what did you want?? He replies he never rang, is adamant that he didn't!! - must have hit wrong no. or so....I feel very foolish after the call....I am thinking..god, he probably thought I made up that to get back with him on Valentines Day of something in that vein.....next day get a call from him....bottom-line he wants to see me.....No, no, no.....Mr. V. has never taken no from me....he come to my house late that nite to "talk"....I say it's over.....he is surprised as he thinks we are only fighting from the last episode....I say things have changed....for about two hours, he keeps asking the reason why...do I still love him...I say yes, always will and will never forget him.....He says, I am breaking his heart...typical cold me replies..."hearts are made to be broken and mended"...He says He needs me and I need him...I reply...I don't need you...I just chose to be with you at a certain moment in time.....god, I am just not good with dealing with emotions on the spot as you can see - cold and clinincal..even though I am mushed up inside.....and we talked talked talked but I stand my ground as best I can...he leaves....3 times he looks back and waves....I felt lousy after it.......then last nite he spent four hours!!!on the mobile with his do you rmember when we did this, do you remember when we did that.....breaking his heart....ten out of ten for the effort last nite.....keeps wanting to meet, talk etc......I dream of him, then I can't sleep, he is always on my mind.......I am befuzzled today every which way by Mr. V......one part of me wants to run back to him..the other says no, onwardd and upwards...............anyway that's the lie of the land at the moment................
Have a good weekend all my pals.
A x
Just to keep you updated...I know you are awaiting with bated breath the next installment.........!!!! I won't go into all the details - a summary shall we say......
So there was no dignified closure or anything like it that day with Mr. V. and so it was finished in my mind.....I actually stayed in the whole weekend.....quite and innocent girl that I am! However, it's hard because I have to listen to my lovely friend tell me of her comings and goings down in his house with his cousin who she's now seeing. I feel like saying..shut up..but who am I to take away her love-stories and her look of love..it was flamin' I that introduced the two of them!!!! On Valentine day, I seen a missed call from Mr. V. in the morning. Later that day, I said to myself, here's your opportunity, ring him back to see what he wants - be polite and act like an adult!!.......I say you rang earlier - what did you want?? He replies he never rang, is adamant that he didn't!! - must have hit wrong no. or so....I feel very foolish after the call....I am thinking..god, he probably thought I made up that to get back with him on Valentines Day of something in that vein.....next day get a call from him....bottom-line he wants to see me.....No, no, no.....Mr. V. has never taken no from me....he come to my house late that nite to "talk"....I say it's over.....he is surprised as he thinks we are only fighting from the last episode....I say things have changed....for about two hours, he keeps asking the reason why...do I still love him...I say yes, always will and will never forget him.....He says, I am breaking his heart...typical cold me replies..."hearts are made to be broken and mended"...He says He needs me and I need him...I reply...I don't need you...I just chose to be with you at a certain moment in time.....god, I am just not good with dealing with emotions on the spot as you can see - cold and clinincal..even though I am mushed up inside.....and we talked talked talked but I stand my ground as best I can...he leaves....3 times he looks back and waves....I felt lousy after it.......then last nite he spent four hours!!!on the mobile with his do you rmember when we did this, do you remember when we did that.....breaking his heart....ten out of ten for the effort last nite.....keeps wanting to meet, talk etc......I dream of him, then I can't sleep, he is always on my mind.......I am befuzzled today every which way by Mr. V......one part of me wants to run back to him..the other says no, onwardd and upwards...............anyway that's the lie of the land at the moment................
Have a good weekend all my pals.
A x
Love Is A Many Splendored Thing and you gots it going on there girlie!!!!
So much passion with you both...you guys are trying to figure each other out...holding back, giving in, going up and then crashing down...what a ride! Beats sitting around watching Leave it to Beaver reruns.
Stimulation at it's best. Guess you need to figure out if this relationship leaves you with good feelings lifting you up and encouraging you or leaving you depleted and fighting for air.
You know as always my bestest wishes, thoughts and dreams for you are flying high and always with you. I so enjoy reading your life events and how they unfold....have a great weekend full of life and adventure Alana~
Freebird soon to be flying 🙂
So much passion with you both...you guys are trying to figure each other out...holding back, giving in, going up and then crashing down...what a ride! Beats sitting around watching Leave it to Beaver reruns.
Stimulation at it's best. Guess you need to figure out if this relationship leaves you with good feelings lifting you up and encouraging you or leaving you depleted and fighting for air.
You know as always my bestest wishes, thoughts and dreams for you are flying high and always with you. I so enjoy reading your life events and how they unfold....have a great weekend full of life and adventure Alana~
Freebird soon to be flying 🙂
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