Virgo comes home next week!

So, I've known this Virgo casually for a while, but became interested in him in August. He left to study abroad in September and is coming home next weekend!!! I'm so excited! And nervous! haha.

While he was in Europe we kept in frequent, but casual and short, contact. No phone calls or video chats, but I understand since we were only getting to know each other for about three weeks before he left. (Although he did spend an evening with me and my sister the weekend before he left, and said it made him feel "greedy" because of how many people he had to see. Cute.) He has sent me photos and article links that seem to remind him of me. But, I'm not reading too much into that because I know for a fact he does the same thing with his other friends, but I'll take what I can get. haha

So, we seemed to connect every three or four days (including two hour-long weekend chat sessions) and he has said that he misses me, and just recently started using "we" in conversation. Like, "We need to do this...we could handle that challenge." Good sign, I thought..like we were continuing to get to know each other, even across the world. Well, EVERYTHING STOPPED.

I haven't heard from him since last Friday, which is the longest time since he's been gone. No tweets, no messages, no snapchats and HE HASN'T ANSWERED TWO OF MY CHATS! :O I'm just confused by the turnaround. He was talking to me about the troubles he was having with practices (he's a musician), shared a "secret", and I was just becoming a cheerleader for him. I started to really care and now he's ignoring me.

The thing is...I think there's another girl. At his birthday party in August I could tell a friend of his was also chasing him and he was into it, and it was her birthday this week so he has been blowing up her facebook, and who knows what else. (Honestly, I kind of have a feeling that all his friends are in love with him. My jealousy is stirring!)

My gut is telling me I have real competition. Because he's coming home next week, I'm hoping he reaches out to me this weekend...if he doesn't...I don't know what to do. I just don't want to end up with egg on my face. :/

Hi!
The best advice I have for you is to just relax. All men, regardless of the sign, tend to pull away at some point for multiple reasons. When they feel that they have reached a very high intimacy level with a woman, they start feeling that they need some time to be on their own or as they call it they need some "space". This is not wrong at all,it is a natural thing for men to do & it is healthy. In fact, when he comes back he will be re-energized and will be more loving than before.

But we, women, tend to react negatively to this. When we are falling in love we need reassurance & when a man who usually gives us alot of attention, suddenly starts "ignoring" us, we start panicking! we can not understand what is going on and we try to find a reason for his pulling away. To the point where we start blaming ourselfs. But it is nobodys fault.

You and this guy only friends, so my suggestion is to take it easy, don't chase him or talk to him, just wait for him to come around. Do your own thing and entertain yourself to avoid thinking about him: go out with your friends, make fun plans, read an interesting book, go shopping, watch a movie. And have faith and trust in him, don't doubt him, believe that eventually when he is available he will come back to you. Don't give him a hard time for "ignoring you" and just let it be. When he sees all the things that you have been doing, he will be surprised and happy that you are an independent woman.

Don't make him your only source of happiness & support. That puts alot of pressure in a man.

Finally, just know that is normal for men to pull away. Trust enough in him to know that he probably haves a good reason to not talk to you and that when he is available he will start talking again. Give him time & respect his need for space. Don't immediately assume that he is with other girls. 🙂

I think that is the only way to have peace of mind

Posted by JoMarch85

I've known this Virgo casually for a while, but became interested in him in August.

I thought..like we were continuing to get to know each other, even across the world. Well, EVERYTHING STOPPED. I haven't heard from him since last Friday ......

I started to really care and now he's ignoring me.

.... there's another girl. .... it was her birthday this week so he has been blowing up her facebook, and who knows what else.

My gut is telling me I have real competition.

You have developed feelings, and You are starting to care more than he agrees to, if he considers you a friend.

He has someone else he is interested in .... and here you are thinking you're in competition .. as in, you are considering yourself to be more than you are to him.


::: shakes head :::


Stupid fucking females, seriously .... there's no doubt in my mind that you are going to fuck up, because you're being thoughtless and stupid.

this guy likes someone else ..... but, that won't stop you from making a fool out of yourself because that's what stupid women do

Posted by JoMarch85
So, I've known this Virgo casually for a while, but became interested in him in August. He left to study abroad in September and is coming home next weekend!!! I'm so excited! And nervous! haha.

While he was in Europe we kept in frequent, but casual and short, contact. No phone calls or video chats, but I understand since we were only getting to know each other for about three weeks before he left. (Although he did spend an evening with me and my sister the weekend before he left, and said it made him feel "greedy" because of how many people he had to see. Cute.) He has sent me photos and article links that seem to remind him of me. But, I'm not reading too much into that because I know for a fact he does the same thing with his other friends, but I'll take what I can get. haha

So, we seemed to connect every three or four days (including two hour-long weekend chat sessions) and he has said that he misses me, and just recently started using "we" in conversation. Like, "We need to do this...we could handle that challenge." Good sign, I thought..like we were continuing to get to know each other, even across the world. Well, EVERYTHING STOPPED.

I haven't heard from him since last Friday, which is the longest time since he's been gone. No tweets, no messages, no snapchats and HE HASN'T ANSWERED TWO OF MY CHATS! :O I'm just confused by the turnaround. He was talking to me about the troubles he was having with practices (he's a musician), shared a "secret", and I was just becoming a cheerleader for him. I started to really care and now he's ignoring me.

The thing is...I think there's another girl. At his birthday party in August I could tell a friend of his was also chasing him and he was into it, and it was her birthday this week so he has been blowing up her facebook, and who knows what else. (Honestly, I kind of have a feeling that all his friends are in love with him. My jealousy is stirring!)

My gut is telling me I have real competition. Because he's coming home next week, I'm hoping he reaches out to me this weekend...if he doesn't...I don't know what to do. I just don't want to end up with egg on my face. :/

Competition? You have a casual relationship with him. You need to back off, because if you are blowing up his e-mail box, and desperately trying to get a hold of him, this will cause him to back off more. Follow his lead. No cont

*CUT OFF..

Follow his lead. No contact. Let him contact YOU. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. Half of this is all built up over someone you don't even know. CHILL!

Thanks for the advice, everyone! He sent me a couple of photos of him out and about this morning so I'm glad he thought of me, but will still wait for HIM to start an actual conversation. No chasing.

@camim20 Super insightful. Totally going to follow it, and just chill and be who I am, whether he responds or not. You're right, we're just friends and if he misses me, then he'll reach out. I need to remember that I'm not entitled to anything! haha 🙂

@P-Angel Ouch! Tough, but I think I needed the wake up call. There's no sense sitting here creating an imaginary situation so I'll just wait to see what he does/says. If he continues to flirt and open up, then I'll continue to flirt and open up, but no pushing or expectations. But, I'm confused about your statement saying, "there's no doubt in my mind that you are going to treetrunk up, because you're being thoughtless and stupid." What actions are thoughtless?

@LetItB Yeah, it would seem desperate to blow up his phone, but I just sent two texts: One saying, "How'd your master class go?!" and the other was "It's finally raining! haha 🙂" (Because we're both obsessed with rainy days. haha) Do you think that was still too much?? I'll definitely wait for him to contact me, but I'm a little embarrassed to seem like I'm stressed over a stranger. I've known him casually for a year (we go to the same church, same holiday parties, have similar groups of friends) but I've only really tried to get to know him one-on-one over the last couple of months. I'm not a crazy stalker, I swear! lol

Yay, we spoke yesterday. (Well, ichatted.) I didn't ask him why he hadn't contacted me or throw attitude, because I would never...I just said, "Oh, hey! So glad to hear from you, I kinda missed hearing about your crazy abroad adventures." He said the wifi was out at the dorms all week, and that things got super busy because it's his last week everyone wants to hang out/finish projects. So, I think it was sweet of him to try to explain the absence. He noticed that we hadn't spoken, too.

We made plans to get together once he gets home. 😄 Well, he said that he had some new news going on and when I asked what it was, he said, "It's a story I need to tell you over a glass of wine. Winter bonfire next week??" IDK! That sounds pretty romantic to me, but maybe it'll end up being a bonfire with me, a bottle of wine, and 20 of his closest friends. lol But, he said he's excited to see me, and I'm excited to see him, so, I guess we'll see if there's actually any chemistry beyond friendship once we're back in the same city. I'll be super careful about creating any expectations. 🙂

Posted by camim20


But we, women, tend to react negatively to this. When we are falling in love we need reassurance & when a man who usually gives us alot of attention, suddenly starts "ignoring" us, we start panicking! we can not understand what is going on and we try to find a reason for his pulling away. To the point where we start blaming ourselfs. But it is nobodys fault.

You and this guy only friends, so my suggestion is to take it easy, don't chase him or talk to him, just wait for him to come around. Do your own thing and entertain yourself to avoid thinking about him: go out with your friends, make fun plans, read an interesting book, go shopping, watch a movie. And have faith and trust in him, don't doubt him, believe that eventually when he is available he will come back to you. Don't give him a hard time for "ignoring you" and just let it be. When he sees all the things that you have been doing, he will be surprised and happy that you are an independent woman.

As someone dealing with something similar to OPs situation (on a much smaller scale) this definitely helped me put things into perspective. Thank you!!

Posted by JoMarch85

We made plans to get together once he gets home. 😄 Well, he said that he had some new news going on and when I asked what it was, he said, "It's a story I need to tell you over a glass of wine. Winter bonfire next week??" IDK! That sounds pretty romantic to me, but maybe it'll end up being a bonfire with me, a bottle of wine, and 20 of his closest friends. lol But, he said he's excited to see me, and I'm excited to see him, so, I guess we'll see if there's actually any chemistry beyond friendship once we're back in the same city. I'll be super careful about creating any expectations. 🙂

^^^If that wasn't an expectation, I don't what is.😢

Posted by LetltB

Posted by JoMarch85

We made plans to get together once he gets home. 😄 Well, he said that he had some new news going on and when I asked what it was, he said, "It's a story I need to tell you over a glass of wine. Winter bonfire next week??" IDK! That sounds pretty romantic to me, but maybe it'll end up being a bonfire with me, a bottle of wine, and 20 of his closest friends. lol But, he said he's excited to see me, and I'm excited to see him, so, I guess we'll see if there's actually any chemistry beyond friendship once we're back in the same city. I'll be super careful about creating any expectations. 🙂

^^^If that wasn't an expectation, I don't what is.😢

click to expand

LOL. A joke!

I was thinking about the movie Clueless..."You notice how wine makes people wanna feel, like, sexy?" But, I get where you're coming from.