Virgo Dilemma Virgo female marine

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Reiniba-Chan
@Reiniba-Chan
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There is this girl in the marines. She is a virgo female who knows my Virgo husband (a marine). Her boyfriend died cause he was also a marine and he was deployed. So this guy was killed. My husband has also delt with someone close to him dying. He wants to help this girl but she unfortunately has "scary feelings" for him as she has stated in a text message I saw.

She texts him all the time and seems to be in love with my husband. o_O However, he said they are only friends.

Now pushing that dilemma aside.

How do you effectively help someone who is dealing with the loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend who needs to be loved and cared for.

I know that everyone needs to be cared and loved for. That is a part of every human being. However, I don't want her to fall for my husband like this. It is not healthy when he is obviously committed to me.

He deals with her on a daily basis. However, what she really needs is a support group, not my husband. She also needs a close girlfriend. Not close guy-friends. If you know what I mean.

I do feel sorry for her just as much as my husband. However, I would like to know how to help her.

Anyone have any tips?

Reminder: Virgo female marine, Virgo male marine
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Reiniba-Chan
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well there was one thing.

He told me he was going to go out with his friends and he didn't want me to go along because where they are going has smoke and the baby can't have that (I'm pregnant)

Well, it turns out it was girls and guys when he told me it was only guys. And it turns out to be the same heartbroken virgo girl he chose not to introduce me to. And she and one other girl is the only one who stayed with him and they went out to dinner at logans, without me

he said they don't like me and he didn't want them to not like him because they don't like me. he said he didn't agree with them but he still wanted to have a good time with friends regardless of how they were as human beings.

I said ok. But I had to let him stay with this girl the night before he left for missouri on to his next training station for 7 weeks.

I thought it was unfair. To him it wasn't because I was going to be with him all night and morning before he left anyway. But I didn't like the fact that she texted him in the middle of the night while I was with him.


Now don't you think they are both stepping over the boudaries, not just her?
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Reiniba-Chan
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yes I am dead sure she does. Because I read in the 100 texts plus more that she sent to him that she has feelings for him but hasn't got over her boyfriend yet who died.

she also said he may find a girl better than her in missouri so she wasn't going to try to hook up with him.

so I thought that was suspicious. cause he let her say all this and seems to be leading her on.
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Reiniba-Chan
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well instead of worrying. I thought the solution would be to figure out how to tell a virgo male my feelings of pain and fear.

I need to tell him that this girl is stepping over her boundaries in my opinion. I also want to say that them going out to dinner without me was inappropriate. If this girl wants to get a guy, a committed guy is not the one to go after, out of respect for the wife.

I need to tell him that it really hurts me. However, I still want this girl to be helped. Because what he cares about is what I should care about. Especially when it comes to his heart. Because we are married and each person in a married realationship holds their spouse's heart in high regard and will never want to hurt something of such importance in a marriage.



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Reiniba-Chan
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well..he was going to go to the beach with her and these other "friends"

and I wasn't allowed to go. However, when I showed up to get something from the car before he left, his friends(that girl was there too) saw me and walked off. He got pissed off at me and said we should divorce for what I just did.

so then after he and I argued and I cried (he got confused when I cried) we started to drive and headed for the mall. He said he would meet up with them at the mall and we can save our marriage we cool off and he still goes to have a good time these friends (including her).

Don't you think that's a little suspicious..? Hang out at the beach for the evening with a girl that is in love with him the night before he leaves for missouri?

Yeah, our marriage isn't perfect, but the thought of it is by and large disrespectful to me.

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Reiniba-Chan
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I mean...am I allowed to tell this virgo-husband of mine the following ( cause this is what I want to say)



How would you feel if the night before I had to leave, I didn't bother to tell you that I am going to the beach with my friends and going to be with this guy that is in love with me at the BEACH of all places...straight up contradicting the "smoke-bar" and "guys-night-out" story he gave me originally..


How would he feel being a husband and a virgo for that matter. I would feel pretty sickened by it if I were him.

But you all advise that I should think nothing of it and stay out of this special "friendship" they have.

So be it. I am strong. And I love this man enough to be strong and overcome this test of trust.
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Qbone
@Qbone
20 Years10,000+ PostsVirgo

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RC


War has its own conditions and war buddies are inseparable, it is an unfortunate fact for a lady in your condition.

I assure you that it has nothing to do with the Virgoness or any other signs in that matter.

Trust creates love, and your husband in war zone needs a buddy to trust and unwillingly things may change (unfavourably).

I am not asking you about to accepting this, but understanding it.
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Reiniba-Chan
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yeah, you're right.

it's just what they did that really killed me and then on top of that he hides the text messages now and since he is in missouri..she can yap at him all day and I'd never know..

oh well..but being an Aqua..don't know if you all agree or not with what I did but..

today I drew a picture of a little girl holding a rose..tried to make it look like that girl as much as possible..because I know she is hurting and I thought if I showed him this picture, he wouldn't think I have any harsh feelings toward this girl, but that I want to help as much as he does..

when I sent it to him and he found out my inspiration (her)..he reacted a lil surprised/normal..and he seemed to grow fond of me..he didn't really think anything negative of it..so I believe he knows now that I just want to help..

at least..hopefully..

anyway some of our convo after that was->

I said:
do you miss me at all?

he says: Ya I do.

then I told him I miss his kisses and the baby does too. And scratching and massaging his back I miss..

and he says I miss kissing you too.

then I said Awe You know you are very passionate? 😉

and he replies: Ya I try =>

I thought this was important to point out since we haven't flirted like that in ages..

^_^

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Lady_M
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*shakes head*

Good Luck. I dont condone young people marriages,; but since there is a kid involved too, Good luck.

This is so typical of service men though....the adultery rate for these couples are sooo high, its ridiculous. The wives cheat or the husband cheats or they just both cheat. I understand the need to leave something behind and have someone their to care for you and all of that during your deployment etc...but I find it very irresponsible and selfish.
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Reiniba-Chan
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well it is very hard to go through all this. but the baby is more important.

it's just odd how he keeps bringing up the statistics with me, but that's what virgos like to mention-statistics..

the thing is though, she is a rank below him, she would never be really deployed with him, be near him, or the same base (most of the time)

especially being female and male..they would not get the same mos

this is just most likely to happen. which is probably why she wouldnt try her virgo snatch on him...

I wonder if virgos can do it to other virgos...and how is it that she gets these "scary" feelings being a virgo looking at another virgo..ugh..

maybe it's just the male virgos affects on the female period.

the little smile and the innocent look a virgo gives you..it can really get the girls hooked..
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Reiniba-Chan
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Virgo, Scorpio, Cancer, Gemini
such signs fall for helpless people.

boy do they. However, my scorp and cancer brothers always do have that weakness but they were always able to stick one girl, at least, as far as I know.

Virgo and Gemini..heck no..I always hear about them cheating..scorp and cancer I hardly ever hear about them cheating.


probably cause virgo and gem are Mutable and scorp and cancer are Water...virgo and gem..>_> ugh the mutable two-sided, two-hearted, two-faced, individuals...

How do they do it. How can other signs stand for such a sickening thing from these kind of individuals, how do mutable signs FINALLY overcome this urge use their power over a non-mutable sign and go ahead and cheat on them and say that they can do whatever they want, they don't have to care about the other signs' wants and needs, they live for their own, if they can get away with it, they will?

no man is pure...I wouldn't expect any mutable sign to not use their power to cheat and get away with it. they probably would use that power of mutability the second they feel hurt or threatened.

Now tell me you virgos wouldn't actually use your mutability the second you feel like there is mistrust?

Don't tell me you virgos wouldn't use this mutability to hurt a girl that you think you can't trust...you would hurt her wouldn't you?

You would so hurt her so bad. You would hurt someone you say you loved just because the power of mutability makes you so Selfish. Doesn't it?

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Starblue
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Reiniba-Chan.........I know you are hurting right now.....and you got some reason to be hurt....but this goes way beyond just him being a "Virgo" this is a guy who seems pretty young and well not that mature yet....he still wants to hang out and have fun....so don't blame it on him being a "Virgo".....all guys of every sign cheat...yeah they all have cheaters in every zodiac sign...

But to me it seems that he probably wants some alone time with his friends, to be young and act like he has no worries.....even though he does, wife, child, support a family ..it is a heavy burden...especially if he is young and a marine

but so you know I'm a Virgo and I would never cheat on my partner..it has nothing to do with being mutable...that's me though....but everyone has there morals, their beliefs.......so has he cheated? do you have proof...he cheated on you? until that happens don't go crazy.....just try to talk to him....
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DyarStra?e
@DyarStra?e
18 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo

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R-C,

Any man - regardless of Sign - can feel vulnerable during his wife's pregnancy, and can be tempted by another woman. Happens on Jerry Spring all the time!

IF your pregnancy is the reason he married you... my sympathies to you both!

He's gonna have lots of issues on his plate, and the younger he is, the harder it's gonna be to deal with these issues... (But, I seem to recall cautioning you about AQUA + VIRGO many many months ago, so... c'est la vie!)
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Reiniba-Chan
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yeah. I got the goods on this female marine drama..from spouses of military men tonight at church..they say the female military..-_- oh my goodness. Turns out the goods on them is that they seek to get Married military men..on purpose..v.v...I should've known...ugh..that disgusts me. They said it's okay though cause they hardly ever get the chance to do anything serious but you've got to lay down the law with your husband regardless.

man. sickening.

anyway. I believe we'll be fine. I believe he and I can make it. I just do. I'm so glad to have support from fellow military spouses who've been through the same things in their marriage.

Anyways. Thanks for the help. This guy, virgo junk aside, has a good heart and it seems the distance has made our hearts grow fonder. We can focus more on communication and not our physical side..so the circumstance of distance has helped us learn to better communicate with each other.

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Reiniba-Chan
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wait. why does DY say that guys feel vulnerable? what does that mean? and what part of them is vulnerable..? their soul, their mind, their pride? what part of them is threatened?

oh I do realize that there are guys that leave because of financial issues. Now why is it that guys have such a huge insecurity to the point they would leave a relationship just because of the whole debt junk that all of America gets themselves into anyway?

I mean. it's not that big a deal to me. I'm an Aqua..I don't attach myself to money like that.

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DyarStra?e
@DyarStra?e
18 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo

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R-C,

Pregnancy is a time of change for you and your husband. Virgs don't do change as well as others, and as we try to adjust, we are susceptible to thinking & behaving in ways we never would under "normal" circumstances. Like many men in that situation, he could be tempted -- even though he knows better, and we try not to betray the trust of those we love...

Is that clearer, now??
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Reiniba-Chan
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well I didn't know virgos could be so inflexible...must be a brain issue. Like Dr. Amen says "Brain struggle equals life struggle." =)

Stringsattached. You totally get how I feel about this.

Now, do you think it would be okay for someone like to me to be hard on a virgo?

Cause so far, being hard on a virgo has only pushed away the virgo..I mean, look at DY. Every time I say something mean about virgos he jumps in and tries to defend them..

understand? I mean it's obvious male virgos just can't respect my precious heart on the issue of love, life and relationships.

but that's considering a virgo....but considering my husband as a human being and not just a virgo..

Just to update, it seems that my husband has been a lot more loving to me since he had to leave for training and knows we won't be able to see each other for a while.

I think it's good that I prevented them from going to the beach. And no, I don't understand the female virgo's mind. But I believe she may have given up on him. Either way, I want to ask..

Is it okay to tell my husband about my issue with this female after we have come at peace with one another (and there hundreds of miles away anyway)...I mean, it seems that we are getting along fine now and we are more fond of each other than before..I don't want to end up disturbing the peace between us by bringing up this girl, y'know?

Maybe if I find out they are still talking to each other then I will mention something about it. But for now I don't want to disturb the peace between us.

Unless he wouldn't get upset if I questioned him about it?


Dy, what will help a virgo do well with change? Please tell me he only needs a good kick in the butt. I'm good at that. =)