Virgo girl has me confused.

Ive posted this before but this is the updated version.
So I've been friends with this virgo girl since middle school. I told her how I felt in 8th grade and she didn't feel the same. After middle school we lost contact because we went to separate high schools. We got in contact again in college because we went to a concert together (that was March 2014). That day I fell my feelings for her come back but she was with someone so I suppressed them. Since that day we kept in contact to go to more shows together. A month later she broke up with her bf of 6 years. After that happened we started hanging out more with other friends and one on one as well. Fast forward to February 2015 I told her how I felt and she felt the same way so we started dating.

She then started acting weird one day and I questioned her. She told me that she wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship and that she wanted to be with me really bad but feels like she hasn't given her self enough time to move on and become her own person so I told her I'll wait for her. So we just continued talking everyday and say cute things to each other etc.Once May came around she started acting more distant and I asked her what I meant to her? She told me that I meant a lot to her because I transitioned from being an old friend to the person that's restored her faith in people. That she still isn't ready to be in a relationship. So we continued talking but she started getting more distant. June came around and I started having dreams about her ex and I questioned if she still had feelings for him and she told me that she didn't and she doesn't have any intentions on getting back with him.

He lied to her for most of their relationship so I believe her and I realized that it was a dumb question to ask. Her being distant caused me to overthink and she said that she saw that the situation was making me feel miserable and as much as it hurt her to say this, she said that we should go our separate ways because she felt horrible dragging this on without knowing what's going to happen in the end and that it broke her heart typing out that and that she wants to keep me in her life. I told her that I still wanted to keep her in my life too. A few days later I told her that I'll still wait for her and she got upset because she says that me waiting givers anxiety. i realized I was being selfish so I told her okay that I won't wait. The next day I dropped off a mix cd with songs that described how I felt from the beginning till the end. The last song was a song that I wrote about her. At the end of the cd I left a message saying

"i know you said we should go our separate ways and I agree. Seems like our best option. But honestly I'm not looking for anyone else or really interested in anyone else. If someone just happens to come along and I feel the same I guess I'll go for it and I'm pretty sure you'll the same and that's fine. You haven't done anything to change how I feel. I'm going to emphasize this though that I won't sit here and wait so need to worry. I'm just going to live my life and whatever happens, happens. I still want to be friends and I want things to go back to normal. Like when we used to hang out and you would come over and watch movies and play videos games. That'd be really great. But I just want you to promise one thing... That in the future, if you're single and you somehow still feel the same or your feelings for me get rekindled, don't hesitate to tell me because if in single, I'm pretty sure I'll still feel the same because honestly, I feel in love with you. Just know that I'm not going to sit and wait. I'm just going to do my own thing and if something happens that's great. If not, then life goes on. Just promise me that please" She thought the cd was really sweet and that it means a lot to her and that she can tell I care about her a lot.

She started ignoring me and it hurt. I told her that ignoring me hurts and idk she was mad at me or if she was doing it thinking it'll help the situation and I just hope she's doing okay. She said that she thought it would help the situation and that didn't mean to hurt me. I didn't reply I just left it at that. She then texted me a few days later to see what's up and we talked for a bit. I texted her a week later to talk to her and we did for and she stopped replying. I asked her to hang out the following week and she asked me what day and I told her any that she's free. She never got back to me. I decided that I should tell her what's been on my mind for a while which was to give this another chance. That I felt that she probably still had feelings for me and if I was wrong to please to me and that I don't mean to pressure her. The message was a lot longer than that but that was the main point of it.

She then replied with this

"You're not pressuring me, you have the right to express how you feel. I know this has been a weird time for us but it's because I've been trying to move on and it got to a point where I felt like I had to stop talking to you as much to show you that. It got frustrating for me because you've been taking this a lot harder than I thought you were going to and I feel really guilty about it. I know the feeling of looking at old messages but that's something I can't just jump back into, you and I are at two completely different mental/emotional states. I think the same thing about relationships, but the difference is that you say you're in love with me but I don't love you that way as much as it sucks to say it. However I don't want you to feel bad or regretful for admitting that t

hat to me because you really shouldn't. I thought it was really brave and I appreciated it. I've missed hanging out with you too but I've been scared to see you. Like ridiculously scared. And I know that time is passing by and before we know it you're gonna be moving and that's a sad thought, but I've been stuck on what to do too so I've been avoiding it. I just don't really know what to expect. I feel like I've had a clock constantly ticking in my head reminding me. Please believe me when I say that I know exactly what you're going through 100% and I know how hard it is. I just don't think this is in the cards for me. I'm always going to have some sort of feelings for you but they're not what they used to be, and I mean that in the sense that I've shifted my mindset on the situation in order to cope with this. I'm still dealing with the consequences of this everyday. Just believe me when I say that in this very moment, I need to be alone. But that doesn't mean that everything I've said to you before was a lie and it really has nothing to do with you at all. You're definitely worthy of being someone I would date and if there's a type of a guy I'd go for it would be you, which is why I did to begin with. I know you think I'm perfect in your eyes but you have to remember to love yourself too because I'm not sure you realize what an unreal person you are. You've been so amazing to me, you've done the sweetest and most thoughtful things for me, and that's something I've never taken for granted. Who knows, I might regret this a year from know or even a few weeks from now. But I've been the type of person to always think about the future/things that aren't certain, and never about how I feel in the moment and I can't make that mistake anymore. I'm really sorry that it had to come to this. I did mean it when I said I want to hold on to you somehow. I've just been distant lately because I know you're hurting and it kills me to talk to you sometimes. I don't like being the cause of this. I still want you in my life though and I'll go through whatever it takes to get us to a good place because you're actually worth it. I'm sorry if my thoughts are all over the place, that's just how I'm feeling right now"

So after all that we kept contact to a minimum. About a month ago (August 10th) we went to a concert together with another friend and that was the first time we hung out in months. That night was great and I was happy to see her. At one point she looked at with these eyes that she used to look at me while we dated and I questioned her about it and she said that stuff like that still sneaks up on her. I asked her if her feelings were still there and she never replied. She then texted me the following night at 1am asking me if I'm still awake. I woke up an hour later and replied "Now I am' and she never replied till like later in the afternoon saying that she sorry she texted me randomly and that she was just thinking about me and everything that's happened and she felt the need to talk to me. I just told her it's fine. She then replied saying (btw Nicole by Hotel Books is a song i screenshotted and posted on twitter because it described how I felt about the situation)
"Last night I was driving home and Nicole by hotel books came up on shuffle and I cried for a straight hour. I can't live with the fact that I've made you suffer so much because I know EXACTLY how you feel. Heartbreak is the worst pain and I'm not used to being the one that caused it. I know I've been super distant but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and everything we've been through and it kills me everyday. I really just wasn't ready for someone to love me as much as you do, not ready to let someone in like that again so soon. I've never talked to you about (her ex, I prefer not leave names lol) but I went through hell with him, it's taken me so long to deal with my broken heart, it's taken me a long time to build trust, to build my self esteem again, and to just be myself. I'm over him obviously but the remains of that horrible relationship stuck with me for a long time and it's been the hardest thing I've had to deal with. I've been completely broken as a person. But you came around and you changed my perspective on people and relationships and I have a lot more hope than I did before. I just don't want you to think of me as a monster that doesn't care about your feelings because I really really really do." This was like Thursday that week.

*when you click the topic and its hella long*

Since I was leaving the following week she said she wanted to see me before I leave. So we made plans to hang out Friday. She came over and we just talked and hung out and it was great. When she got home we continued texting and she was telling me cute things like she was jealous of the school I'm going to because they get to have me. She even said "you're everything and I’ve never met anyone like you before” Another thing she said was that I’m worth losing sleep over. She even told me that she missed hanging out like we did and that she’s always happy and excited when we’re together. She said that she remembered when she used to come over my house after class and before work and that she doesn't do that for anyone and that she values her relaxation time that nothing really excites her enough to do that. She also told me that she's still in shock that someone like me exists. I feel the same way about her and told her pretty much the same things. So we hung out Saturday as well. Then she came over Monday that following week to help me pack and we hung out again Tuesday night once more before I left. And she told me this when she got home after I told her how I felt about her and other cute things "I was trying really hard not to cry which is why I couldn't really say much but I want you to know how much I appreciate you and care about you. You've made such a huge impact in my life and no one can replace you and our fun times together. I've never had someone care for me as much as you've shown and I hold that really close to my heart. You're a really special person and you mean everything to me. Thank you so much for being so patient and kind through everything I've put you through. Although not everything is perfect, I wouldn't change anything that's happened between us because it brought us to where we are right now and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Although I wish more than anything that we can just go back to several months ago, hanging out whenever we wanted, going to the same school, etc., I'm extremely happy and proud of you for going to UCF and living your dream, that's all I can ask for. You're gonna have so much fun, I promise. And believe me when I say I'm not going anywhere, physically or emotionally. I'll always be here just like I have been in the past. Even these past couple months that we didn't talk I still would've done anything for you. I'm sorry I've been an emotional wreck for a while now but I can finally say that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm getting better everyday. Time is gonna fly by and we'll see each other more often than we think. 🙂 Orlando isn't far, and distance doesn't mean much to begin with. I'll annoy the fuck out of you no matter where you are :}"
So we continued talking for about a week or 2 since I've moved and she was still being cute with me and we would text everyday. Then she started acting more distant and idk why. But about a week later I was on her Spotify to get

recommendations on artists and I saw a playlist under her ex's name and I questioned her if she still had feelings for him because some songs on that playlist made it seem like it but she told me that those songs don't mean how she feels now but how she felt back then and she likes listening to them when she's angry and she thinks about all the things he did to her and because it reminds her how much better she is compared to him and helps her feel better. I then told her that with all the cute things she told me recently like you're everything etc I felt like she still had feelings for me but I wasn't sure and that I probably took what she said differently than what she intended. She then replied with
"I'm always gonna have something for you. I knew saying that to you was risky but I felt like it needed to be said at the time and I have no problem saying it again because it's true. For once, I'm trying to make decisions using logic rather than just pure emotions or feelings"
I told that everything I said about her is true too and I asked her what those decisions are exactly? And she never replied to that.
So a weekends ago she knew I was going back down to visit and she asked me to go out with her and her other friends for her birthday so I did. That day I needed a ride and she was going to pick me up but I got dropped off instead at her house. Something small that I noticed is that when I told her that I was going to be dropped off to just let me know what time to head over she replied with "you can head over now and hang with me while I finish getting ready" She normally doesn't do that, she'll just get ready then tell me to go over or whatever. I just thought that was something small that might show that she still likes me idk. She also but me a flag that I wanted for my room and she surprised me with it and had it sent to where I currently live.

I try to look for signs she leaves on twitter because she used to do that when she started having feelings for me with tweets and screenshots of songs and I know this because she’s admitted it to me Two recent posts were that she posted screenshots of two songs. On one of them with a lyric that said “I can’t wait to see that pretty face again and the other was "Boyfriend" by Best Coast where the lyrics are pretty much "I wish he was my boyfriend, I'd love him till the very end but instead he is just s friend, I wish he was my boyfriend" Another thing that I’ve noticed is that her ex has lately been commenting back with the emoji with heart eyes on her two of her insta pics but she deletes the comment.

I’m pretty sure it;’s probably nothing but I can’t help but think about it. She's also tweeted about having an identity crisis and "who even am I anymore?" and I texted her about a week to see how she was and she said she was okay that she felt like she had fallen off the face of the earth and she's been distant from everyone. I told her how I really missed her and that I've been having dreams about hanging out with her and how I wake up feeling nostalgic about it. She told me she misses me too and that she feels nostalgic about those things even when she's awake. But since then she started being more active on social media again and felt like she's being ignoring me more now. Fast forward to this past week where I texted her to see how she was and to let know that I was coming down and if she was free Friday and she said she was. I told her I was excited to see her and she said she was too. So we hung out yesterday and it was great. When we got back to my place she was really tired and she had to go like around 1 and she said she didn't want to and that made me smile.

I'm sorry that this long I just didn't want to leave vital details out. As virgos do think she still has feelings for me? I personally believe so and so does my virgo guy friend that she wants to be with me but is still traumatized by her previous relationship and whenever we get close she starts acting distant because she's scared.Idk though. Like I want to know what does she mean by "I'll always have something for you" I’ve been giving her space. I’m willing to wait for her if she still has feelings for me. I really care for this girl and I will go to hell and back for her and she knows this. Something that's been bothering me is the comment thing and idk if you guys might think if she might still have feelings for her ex? I kinda want to ask her where does she stand on our situation but I'm not sure if should.

Any advice on what I should?

I never saw the right opportunity :/. I wanted to kiss her really badly but I was afraid how she would react because of how she's been distant. I was planning on maybe making one last night because I asked her Friday night before she left if she was free Saturday night after work that she was invited to go with my friends and I to the Ale House and she said it sounded like fun that she was going to let me know but she texted me the next morning saying that she had to work from 4-close and I replied saying "aww man :/. That sucks!" And she never replied. I was going to tell her that she can come after work but I figured that if she really wanted to she would've. She used to come over after work when she would close. I guess my next opportunity would be if she goes to visit. She asked when was she going to see me again and I told her that I'm probably not coming down till Thanksgiving and she said that was too far. I told her that she can always come visit me and that she's always welcomed. She said that she's been thinking about it and that she's been wanting to get away from our hometown for a little bit.

Someone please help me with this. I've been getting this feeling that maybe she lied to me about not being over her ex. Like him commenting on her pictures recently has me thinking because why would he do that out of nowhere? He didn't do that in the past when they were done. So if they're still done why would he do that now? And the other other I saw on my feed that he went back and liked a bunch of old pictures of hers. Why would he do that? What has me confused is why would she tell me all those cute things she did, buy me a flag to put up in my new apartment. I remember the Tuesday before I moved she wore one of my shirts that I gave her the night before and even that is something small it made an impact on me and made me believe she has strong feelings for me. Should I ask her where she stands on our situation? Should I ask her about those tweets that I thought were about me? How should I ask without making it seem like I'm interrogating her?

Posted by kalin
Maybe he's trying to get back with her and she's just trying to be friendly with him?? If you want to ask her about it, don't be too confrontational. My Virgal friend used to like this guy she met online until he began to confront her being online. He didn't feel it's right for her to still keep her profile and go online. She sincerely liked him but she felt they were not in a relationship yet and she was just checking her inbox, so she felt he was out of line. I think virgals hate being accused of things they didn't do. Watch how you word things when you talk to her, or you may push her away and lose her completely.

That's what I'm scared of doing. Idk how to properly ask her without being confrontational because I'm afraid that I won't get the answer that I want (that she might she just beat around the bush) I haven't spoken to her since this past weekend. She texted me Sunday telling me that she hopes I have a safe trip back to where i currently live and we texted for a bit after that and she stopped replying. I haven't spoken to her since. What I find weird is that on my feed I saw that she followed 2 accounts that her ex follow as well when I see him active as well. Could be a coincidence or not but it sure has me thinking. Like I have this gut feeling that she's probably wanting to get back him but from things she told me before about how it was horrible relationship and when I asked her months ago if she still had feelings for him she told me no , that she cares about him but doesn't have any intention on getting back with him it just doesn't make sense. Like none of these adds up. And sometimes she'll tweet things like "Kinda having an identity crisis" "The heart wants what the heart wants" another thing that has me thinking is that last Thursday I texted her around 4 pm asking her what time she wants to hang out Friday. She replied saying she doesn't really have a time so I decided on a time and she never replied till like 1 in the morning. Weird thing is that that day I saw that her ex liked a bunch of old photos of her on instagram and iI thought that was weird. I subtly tweeted "this doesn't add up" "Why lie?" and around the time she texted me she also tweeted things like "waiting on the day everyone fucking leaves me alone for once" "why are people on my case about shit like if I owe something to them" I couldn't help but think what any of that had to do with. We hung out the next and everything was great so idk what's going on.

I really want to ask her about our situation but I don't know how to.

Im not reading all that shit

Posted by kalin
Of course, he should ask her about where they stand (and if things change between her and ex), but seriously, in a Nice way.

I'm just afraid that that might push her away. Like I'm just confused because why should tell me all those things she told me then get distant. I honestly don't have like full solid proof that she might be talking to her ex either that's why I'm hesitant. It just social media things. I just find it weird that he'd be liking her photos again and commenting out of nowhere.

I've questioned her twice about it. The first time is when we she first told us to go our separate ways because she felt that this situation was making miserable but she said that she didn't have feelings for him and that she has no intentions on ever getting back with him. I don't know if you saw my post about the playlist I saw, but I questioned her if she still had feelings for him and told me no. She's also told me that that relationship was horrible and repercussions od that still haunts her. So I want to believe her because I did but with what I've seen and how distant she's been I don't know what to make of it.

Posted by dontgetmewrong

Posted by peterp543

Posted by kalin
Of course, he should ask her about where they stand (and if things change between her and ex), but seriously, in a Nice way.

I'm just afraid that that might push her away. Like I'm just confused because why should tell me all those things she told me then get distant. I honestly don't have like full solid proof that she might be talking to her ex either that's why I'm hesitant. It just social media things. I just find it weird that he'd be liking her photos again and commenting out of nowhere.

Because they're in cahoots again dude.

click to expand

I just don't understand why though? She told me that it was a horrible relationship. When we first started dating she would tell me how he lied to her, he didn't go to school, smoked weed and she didn't know about it for 4 years of their relationship. How he started flirting with some girl when they were trying to make things work after they broke up a year ago. She would tell me how she liked me because I didn't smoke, I worked, went to school, had goals in life and how I was active and fit too, played guitar and stuff. So I don't understand why would she go back with him if she made it seem like I was an upgrade? Specially after all the things she told me before I moved? So I'm stuck between maybe he's just being a creep and is trying to win her back? Or they are in cahoots again. I asked a friend of mine for advice and she said that by me asking her what's going and telling her all the observations I made makes me sound obsessive and a bit psychotic and sadly she does have a point. I don't have solid proof. It's come to the point where I either want her to tell me straight up what she's feeling or I see something that's more obvious and go about it from there.

She is confusing me. I haven't attempted to text her at all this week because I want to see if she would actually text me. I guess that kinda makes sense... She did tweet about a month ago "the heart wants what it wants" If that's the case I wish she can just tell me something like "hey I'm know we've been through a lot and I don't know where you stand on this situation but I realized I still had feelings for my ex and I want to try and make things work again" I would prefer to hear that than just be left wondering what the fuck is actually going on.

Posted by dontgetmewrong
What's your sun sign peterp?.. I don't think I caught that.

Aries. Cancer Moon. Venus in Taurus.