virgo gone missing...

Wouldn't it be better to be honest--about your feelings especially, to let him know about what you're experiencing, what you're hoping for...

Now like that you are actually "leaving a ball" in his court.

Not saying anything and expecting a response from him in time is not "leaving a ball" in his court because absolutely nothing was done. All thats happening is far is that you're suffering.


Don't even listen to anyone here who says shit like, [in a girly tone] "Guuuurrrrrlll you bettah wait for his ass to call you." Unless you're willing to wait for some unknown amount of time.

Or shit like, "You deserve better than that. Move on." This is no fucking time to work on acquiring a high sense of self-entitlement when you don't even know whats going on in his mind.

If you want something from the man you tell him. It doesn't matter how. Okay maybe a little. No shit like, bringing him out in the middle of a large crowd and letting everybody know your business. He's a Virgo. Keep it private.


A text is fine.



If it doesn't turn out well atleast now because of your honesty and boldness you'd be able to start healing and be able to move on sooner instead of suffering now and suffering some more. And if you can manage free yourself of any expectations before you say anything you won't hurt very much at all.



Please don't take the cursing to heart. I wanted to put in a little energy.



We need to learn to be happy with the joyous feelings we experience--what we have--what we have to give rather than suffer from what we lack--what we expect--weakness.

Thanks Amandus and Kaleidoscorp for the wise counsel! I have a hard time expressing feelings too, I suppose I'll just have to get over it. As I was preparing to write him this morning I got an email from him that was pretty stiff, apologizing for not "handling it well" and basically wishing me well. I'm not sure if I was just dumped. I'm hoping he's still interested but assuming I'm mad and not wanting to show any of his own emotions. I think you're both right, I bet this would have been prevented by communication from my side. I'm replying now with something reassuring and that I hope to see him.
Lesson learned -- the worst communication is no communication!
It's so easy in person. Distance is making things weird!
Thanks again 🙂

You responded to Let*it*Be .. and totally side-stepped the question she asked twice.

Sounds like you have something to hide ... so I will make the assumption that it was a lot more than a little blunder, and believe you outright either 1) insulted/belittled him, or 2) showed him you're emotionally clingy

Capaquababy why so much texting and emailing. Whatever happened to just talking on the phone? So many things can be misconstrued via technology through the delicate balance of getting to know one another that it's better to just talk to one another so you both can get a better sense of one another. Now everything is just awkward.

@we were both open and sharing and I can only think of a couple idiotic things I said.

I'm curious about what was said during those idiotic moments. I know you don't want to put all your business out there but it could give us a better understanding of why he went from hot to cold so suddenly after that last conversation.

And I agree with Amandus. Why haven't you sorted this all out and allowed this to drag on like this. Now he's subtly rejecting you by advising you he'll be busy for the foreseeable future.

You said " I spent years in an on/off relationship with a man (who I just realized is a virgo also, not sure if that's relevant) and this is just how that pattern started."

I'm happy that you're cognizant of how the last relationship started out this way, many women don't see that and continue on with the same patterns with the new relationship.

I feel you hate confrontation, you hate to expose how you feel and then you shut the man OFF from you, he can't connect with you, he can't feel what's going on with you so he rejects you only to come back because you're a great woman, fun to talk to etc but there is something about you, how you communicate, how you cut off your feelings when the hard stuff comes up that turns a man off. He has to connect with you and if he can't do that then he'll leave.

I'm not sure what idiotic things you said to him but maybe you should THINK before you speak, think about how what you say can be perceived by the other person, keep things light and fun and steer clear of the idiotic statements you make.

Call him and if you can't call him because you aren't comfortable with that, send him a brief email, let him know how you feel, OWN IT and RESOLVE IT if you can.

Let him know you may have said a few idiotic comments and you feel awful, KEEP IT SHORT, don't spill out all your feelings onto him, just let him know you feel attraction for him and you'd like to continue to explore getting to know him, then leave it alone, THEN THE BALL IS IN HIS COURT after you've extending an olive branch, if he's still interested he'll text/call/email, if he's not then he won't respond and that's your queue to leave it alone, maybe he's gone for good, maybe he's not but whatever the case it's best to leave it alone until he resurfaces again.

This is GREAT though, I know that sounds a bit weird to say something like that but this issue gives you an opportunity to grow and to learn what it is you do or say around men that DISCONNECTS you both, now you know that your idiotic comments are not just idiotic, they turn men off, they disconnect you to that man, write down what you said, how you said it AND DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. Maybe you'll get another chance with this guy, maybe you won't but now you can begin to see how your relationships pattern either help you or hinder you.

I hope this guy gives it another try with you but if he doesn't it's not the end of the world.