Virgo guys and communication

Hi Everyone,

Here's a question for you Virgo guys and anyone else who has noticed this...

Why would there be a need for a Virgo man to repeatedly confirm his lack of interest in a relationship with a particular woman?

I ask this question because this has come up with two Virgo men in my life and never anyone else - and it has been under situations that have baffled me completely. I have one male Virgo friend (who I just ran into last night - which is why this comes to mind) who seems to bring this up almost every time we meet - and yet what I don't understand is that I have never flirted (unless VERY mildly), called or arranged to do anything with this person. We just share a mutual interest and run into each other occasionally.

It is the same with the other significant Virgo man in my life. When he was married - he felt it necessary to tell me that he never cheats on his wife - just out of the blue (we were returning from a business meeting)— And since has made reference to the fact that he feels I have pursued him.

What bothers me the most is that I am quite a conservative lady who (to the best of my knowledge) has never had anyone else feel that way. I was married for a long time, never cheated on my husband, had lots of male friends (who really are just friends) and since I have been single have pretty much kept to myself. I've been so 'morally correct' it's almost disgusting LOL!

I'm actually starting to feel insulted - there seems to be an underlying insinuation that am I chasing these guys. WTF— I wouldn't bring this up here except that it is only the Virgo guys - maybe there is some insight someone could share.

Scorpgal

Hi Scorpgal....not sure if I understand your question correctly. Are you taking it personally regarding what these men are saying? I am not sure why they would say that and then again, I do have my thoughts. Did you ask them what they meant by that comment?

You mentioned that you were married and never cheated on your husband right? Do you feel the NEED to tell other men this? I have a strong feeling that you don't because you have no need to share that since you haven't done it. Many times when a man says this it is because he has in the past cheated and feels guilty otherwise there would be no reason for him to bring it up.

I too have been single for many years and have seen/heard many stories from the single/divorced men. They are not usually aware of the red flags that they wave. The men that have had to tell me that they never cheated were the ones who have. I am not saying this is true for your pals all I am saying is that we don't usually feel the need to defend ourselves for something we haven't done. My experience with this anyway. Hope it helps...and please, do not be insulted - you have no reason to be.

Smiles,
Freebird

Virgo men seem to project into something that is not there. Or too much analyzing anyway. could be they are attracted to you and are trying to convince themselves instead of you. So that way they put it on you to keep themselves safe.

The Virgo I know swore up and down he would never have a relationship with me. That was all I got. We stayed friends for five years. Then pouf, out of the blue there is was. We have now been seeing each other going on four years. Sometimes I think it maybe some fear they have of falling too hard for someone, so they try to convince themselves. That is a possible answer.

Hi Freebird - thanks for the response - I'll try to clarify...

I guess what I don't understand is why these guys seem to feel they need to keep re-inforcing to me that they don't wish to date me? It makes me uncomfortable to think that I might be unknowingly giving out some kind of 'vibe' - and I really don't know what in my actions etc could be giving them the idea that this is foremost in my mind.

Both have indicated that they are not available to me, don't want to ruin a friendship etc - OK - that's cool, it's good to know where you stand although I still don't get why either of them felt the need to even bring it up at the time anyway. But once that is said - it's said - why keep bringing it up again— I'm certainly not!!

Of course, noone here knows me, how I act, dress etc (which was why I made the comments about my conservative nature) and can't be expected to tell me what impression I might be giving. But I hoped that I might be missing something - perhaps it is their issue?? and I just don't 'get' what that would be?

BTW - congratulations on your new relationship - I wish you all the best!!

Scorpgal

Glee,

Your answer makes a great deal of sense - I certainly thought that about one of them in the past, but had forgotten about that. You may have hit the nail on head...

Meeting the other friend last night brought all this back to me - and when I found out that he was a Virgo!!! Well, I guess I should 'get' it then - but I still find this Virgo way of handling 'relationships' very difficult...

Sorry all you Virgo guys - but this is two that I know - and Glee's - so I'm starting to think we are seeing a pattern here 😉 !!

Scorpgal

ScorpGal5,

long time no see 🙂 . I'm at school, a bit bored, ended up here and to my surprise...How are you?

So . . .the old Virgoan trait of reinforcing noninterest lol.

Well ScorpGal, can't say I've ever done that. At most, if I think someone is interested in me and the feeling is not mutual. I'd still want to be friends but I try my damndest to keep the conversation away from relationship/feeling type stuff.

You know, conversations where that other person stares in your eyes, movie star type twinkle. A quirky smile christened by an awkward silence. You know the situations where Confession screams to be heard and throws himself into the floor floundering about. Ewwww, talk about rampant weirdness.

At most, I've told a few "You'll get hurt" but, never the reinforcement thing.

But, that's neither here nor there. I'm posting because it shines my day to see you back.

Come here. Come on, don't be bashful ...BIG BIG HUGGGG

And who says Virgo's are scared of physical contact LOL?



VirgoSquared

Hey VirgoSquared!! Wow - great to see you here to... I do 'lurk around', but usually keep quiet 😉...

Yeah, talk about deja vu with this other Virgo guy. Not that I'm playing THAT game this time 🙂

Now pay attention to class now (Wags finger)...

Scorpgal

Hey ScorpGal,

Pay attention in class . . .come on you know me. The greatest multi-tasker alive 😉

Great to see you here to. Lurk about? Please!? A double Scorp will never lurk about! Unheard of! Well, maybe after slashing an ex-boyfriend's tires at 2:23 am 😉 (kidding)

Seriously, I missed your post.


VirgoSquared

Hey VS!!

What's this - a multitasking Virgo guy?!?! Impossible I say!!!

And pray tell - who would lurk better than a double Scorp 😉 ... No slashing tires though - that would be too obvious. It's gotta be more subtle than that...

Scorpgal

Umm...I am very new at this message board thing. But I'm very interested in the topic of virgo men because I am attracted to this virgo man. When we first talked to each other, I automatically realized that he's very analytical and can be critical at times. He's easygoing and acts very calm and cool in public. He doesn't like to show his emotions. Does these traits apply to every virgo men?

Beside those traits, we can read each others mind. We know exactly what we're feeling or thinking at that moment and it really freaked me out. I never had anyone who can spell each word from my heart. Maybe this is why I am attracted to him. Is it because we both are virgos is that why we can sense each other? Has anyone experience the same thing with their own signs?

The down side to this is that I gradually realized that he loses interest very quickly. Listening to his past, he was the one that broke up with all his girlfriends because he "lost feelings for them." But there was one pisces girl that grabbed his heart. He really liked her and wanted to marry her, but she cheated on him. Do virgo men loses interest quickly or its just him?

Now that I confessed my feelings to him, he turned me down. He said, "I don't have time for a relationship. I think you will be a girlfriend, but I don't want to break your heart. I'm not a good boyfriend." Even after he said that to me, he called me for a one night stand. WTF??!! Yeah, I'm attracted to him, but at the same time he turns me off. I don't understand virgo men at all, please someone explain to me.

They want you. They don't want to want you but they do. If we stick to this astrology stuff, you're a scorp, you probably send off sexual vibes.

They're just dumb butts, you sound like an awesome woman.

Welcome Virgo919,

While I hate to make generalizations, certainly a lot of the things about your Virgo guy are things that I have experienced from my Virgo friend. I'm still having a hard time understanding how a person could tell someone they can't see them, then show up later. The push/pull makes me crazy - it feels like game playing to me - and being a very straightforward person, I don't want to play. Some people posting here say that this does eventually end once the guy makes up his mind, but I never got there 😢...

A couple of things I have noticed though. First, once a Virgo guy gets hurt in a relationship, he hangs onto that for a very long time and it is very difficult to win his trust after. You don't say how long it's been since the girl he wanted to marry broke his heart, but he may not be ready for a relationship.

As far as losing interest, if he is not into a relationship then he will tend to end the other relationships quickly before either party (the girl or himself) gets too involved. Or it could be that he is very selective. I rather think it's probably the former though.

Hope this helps and good luck. I suggest that you don't compromise yourself for this guy unless he gives you a bit more to go on in spite of your attraction to him. If he is really interested, you will know - just keep it casual while he evaluates.

Scorpgal

Thanks Scorpgal and Tauruschic...it is very insightful. I will keep your advices and try not to be too attach to this guy cuz now I know he's game playing.

....there are some really nice and cool ppl here!! =D

You are welcome Virgo919 - one thing I want to clarify though...

He may not see that what he is doing is 'game playing' - it may be just the way he approaches relationships. It's just felt like that to me when I was on the receiving end. My Virgo friend tends to look at things very much in terms of his own perspective and fails to think of the broader picture - like how I might feel about his 'evaluations' and the results. He's usually seems surprised if his lack of sensitivity and self-absorbed attitudes upset me - he sees it as logical to evaluate and honest when he shares that with me.

Scorpgal

They want you. They don't want to want you but they do. If we stick to this astrology stuff, you're a scorp, you probably send off sexual vibes.

That is so funny- I have been seeing a Virgo for almost four years - I am a Scorpio woman - it was hilarious - he wanted me, then didn't, then did, then didn't... this went on for years. I guess I am patient. But I just stood back and let him go through all of that on his own. Had no part of it. Just went on about my business - I am not in the habit of trying to fix a man and work on him - or whatever women feel they have to do to a man to get his interest. Being a female Scorpio - we wear a mask and will be standoffish with you if we feel somehow threatened. I adored him all those years - loved him actually - but I never allowed him to see that. So for five years we flirted with each other - slept together a few times and he'd run back to a Gemini woman he was seeing. But whenever we saw each other - he was always running up my butt. I kind of ignored him - because I thought he was crazy.

Then out of the blue - the Gemini lady was gone - and he was coming to see me. So I guess I just allowed it to evolve at a slower pace. We never really discussed it. It just sort of happened. Now we see each other all the time and it's nice and cozy and comfortable.

A Virgo man has to have space and time to figure it all out - they just don't jump into things. And I can't say that I blame them.
Woman who expect too much too soon, will always be disappointed I think. Love does not just happen over night - and a man will never come around in that perfect way we think they should. They are men after all - sometimes one has to lower the expectations and just try the simple act of accepting him as the person he is.... warts and all. :-)