Stpatrickspisces
@Stpatrickspisces
15 Years1,000+ PostsPisces
Comments: 22 · Posts: 1427 · Topics: 24
Virgo input would be appreciated...:-)
Posted by Prince_Pisces
Well. . .show up to the show, and find out lol.
I sooo like you PP!!! I have actually thought about that and me and one of my Leo friends that the Virgo has met has talked about it. She said we should just go in once the set has started and hang out for awhile and then leave before they are finished and find out his reaction later...lol. I don't know about doing it like that though.
He knows I go hear bands play a lot so it's not like it would be out of the ordinary for me to want to see them play.
Thanks Hikaro and Prince Pisces! I do appreciate the input.
I have actually said that I wanted to hear them play and told him that I like their music. He didn't address it when I did tell him though. I definitely know that he is not a take charge guy necessarily and I have actually taken the lead in a lot of instances (Leo rising and Sagitarrius moon may help with this? I'm still learning more about all of those influences so not totally sure..lol). He just seems so private about it so I don't want to step on his toes. Do you think I should just go sometime and see what happens or at least tell him I am going to see what he says and ask if it wouldn't bother him?
I know people can't read minds and I know that I have been guilty in past of wanting someone to know what I wanted without spelling it out but I am getting very good at communicating my thoughts and expectations especially with him.
Just trying to be sensitive to his stance if it may have something to do with Virgo ways since I am so unfamiliar in this area.
:-)
I have actually said that I wanted to hear them play and told him that I like their music. He didn't address it when I did tell him though. I definitely know that he is not a take charge guy necessarily and I have actually taken the lead in a lot of instances (Leo rising and Sagitarrius moon may help with this? I'm still learning more about all of those influences so not totally sure..lol). He just seems so private about it so I don't want to step on his toes. Do you think I should just go sometime and see what happens or at least tell him I am going to see what he says and ask if it wouldn't bother him?
I know people can't read minds and I know that I have been guilty in past of wanting someone to know what I wanted without spelling it out but I am getting very good at communicating my thoughts and expectations especially with him.
Just trying to be sensitive to his stance if it may have something to do with Virgo ways since I am so unfamiliar in this area.
:-)
Posted by Prince_Pisces
Just go lol.
If he gets mad that you came to see the show, then hes retarded lol.
Sometimes your answers are short and funny but it makes sense!!! If he gets mad at the woman he's seeing wanting to share something important in his life than he is retarded...he he! Not really but I know I would be so flattered if he wanted to come and see a show I was in (I act just haven't been active in it in awhile).
I guess I should just come right out AGAIN and maybe just word it like..."I am planning on coming to hear your band sometime and want to know how you feel about that?" I don't think he can ignore or gloss over that one...right?
Posted by hikoro
I am not a Virgo but I am a Watergal just like you and my Virgo was born on September 7, different year though. Shaks was also born on September 7.
I just wanted to add some input since I can relate to the Watergal- Virgo man relationship, the issues in regards to communication, intuition, etc are very prevalent at the beginning but with patience and communication, everything turns alright at the end.
Thank you Hikoro (sorry I spelled it wrong earlier)! I appreciate the input especially from a water sign with a Virgo so bring it on girl! It's good to know that it will get better though...lol. I am just so used to being able to read people and in some ways I can with him but not as much as I am used to! 😉
Well... the only reason I would show off a particular talent of mine is if I did not think it was "show worthy/perfect/good enough".
Posted by Jason2213
Did you ask, "Can I come to one of your shows?"
I said in the beginning of our getting to know one another that "I would like to come to one of your shows" and then I have texted another time before this that I needed to come see him play sometime. I haven't asked him exactly like that.
I am a bit suspicious of it being something he's hiding but that may be because I have been cheated on and lied to in past so I am not as trusting. I also have thought maybe it was because he is overly critical of himself and may be nervous about me coming. I also wonder if he's nervous because I can be pretty flamboyant and dance A LOT and I have read that Virgos don't like attention drawn to them. I only act that way when I am just with my friends and feeling comfortable. I wouldn't be like that if I went to one of his shows because I tend to be more sensitive to how others might feel about it and don't want to embarrass him of course. Since he hasn't told me anything like this I am just speculating based on what I have read and because he does know that I am not shy about dancing and can really get my groove on so of course I can't ask him if that is why...lol.
Prince...he probably does have groupies because he's hot! 😉
So is the consensus is to just outright ask him "Can I come to one of your shows?" Probably is as simple as that but then I guess I haven't wanted to put him in a corner if he really doesn't want me to come. :-/
Posted by Cajunspirit
Well... the only reason I would show off a particular talent of mine is if I did not think it was "show worthy/perfect/good enough".
I can understand that and that's why I wonder because he has been playing drums for 18 years so I am sure he is good and I am sure he is comfortable with his abilities after that length of time doing it. I actually bought their CD and it is great!
Perplexed and not liking it...lol.
I just try to be sensitive to others and sometimes I may go too far with it so this input is helping.
Thanks and bring on more opinions if you have any more or questions if you need me to clarify anything else.
Posted by seavixen2
one word:"GROUPIES"
and if you don't think local bands have them..you're fooling yourself.
I'm not saying he is indulging in groupies, but maybe he doesn't want you exposed
to having to see women through themselves at him~as that may cause you to have insecurities/jealousy etc...
OR maybe HE is insecure because he knows you love music and going to see local bands..and he doesn't want you to think his is crap...
I don't know..but I think it's weird he hasn't invited you.
My ex father in-law in his 50's is a local band legend here and he is the lead singer, they play classic rock and I can't tell you how many skanks through themselves at him..they go to see him everywhere he plays. My ex and i would go to hear him play and when the women would hear that my ex was his son...OMG, they would try and flirt and dance with him..so freakin hilarious
I am sure that he has them because he is so cute and he is so nice! I think it's weird as well seavixen. I know there are some skanks and there are probably very attractive ones too...lol but I know that he chose me to be involved with and I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with it. If it's because he is hiding something then maybe I should find out sooner than later and if he gets too upset than I know I probably don't want to continue in a relationship with him anyways. Maybe he thinks I am a groupie because I do go an listen to bands and I have gotten pics with some but I am not and this is actually my first time even dating someone in a band. I actually have never really wanted to because of what everyone says about their reputations.
See why I am confused— Uuuuuggghh
Posted by BellaBulleautifulPosted by StpatrickspiscesPosted by Cajunspirit
Well... the only reason I would show off a particular talent of mine is if I did not think it was "show worthy/perfect/good enough".
I can understand that and that's why I wonder because he has been playing drums for 18 years so I am sure he is good and I am sure he is comfortable with his abilities after that length of time doing it. I actually bought their CD and it is great!
Perplexed and not liking it...lol.
I just try to be sensitive to others and sometimes I may go too far with it so this input is helping.
Thanks and bring on more opinions if you have any more or questions if you need me to clarify anything else.
I think you should go,keep a low profile in the back...and watch.
have you met his friends?click to expand
No I haven't met his friends yet. My friend and I were discussing doing that but I wasn't sure if I should tell him first or just let it be a surprise if he sees me.
I don't know this for sure but that just reminded me that one time I had put a status update saying where I was going one night before we met in person and I think he may have gone. It was before I had seen him in person and didn't know much besides some pics but had this "feeling" when I saw him and especially later I actually asked him in an email how tall he was because this guy was on the shorter side and he is only 5'7" which is probably the height of this guy I saw and he had curlyish hair like him. So he may have been in the background checking me out....lol. I haven't asked him b/c I didn't want to embarrass him. We have only been actually "seeing" eachother for a little under two months and three weeks of that we didn't see eachother at all because it was the holidays and my daughter was here for Christmas break. Before that it was through emails and texting. He hasn't met any of my friends except one because the night we decided to meet was because I was planning on being out with her after we saw "Riverdance". He was actually there for a little while before I even noticed because I was out on the dance floor dancing (by myself...I am not shy when it comes to dancing...he he) and then when I was about to go sit down I noticed him standin
I noticed him standing there with a half finished beer (that's why I figured he was there a little bit of time).
So he may have done the same thing to me twice so I guess I shouldn't feel bad about it...lmao!!!
So he may have done the same thing to me twice so I guess I shouldn't feel bad about it...lmao!!!
Posted by seavixen2
^^ then he'll see you...maybe he'll be pissed, but you'll be gone before he can talk to you..then he'll be left wondering WTF happened to you..and why you left...THEN HE'LL ASK YOU TO COME HEAR HIM PLAY FROM NOW ON...
*u can always say your friends wanted to go there and when you saw him playing..you decided it was best not to stay as he's never invited you to come hear him play...* ->reverse psychology
True true....
I was thinking that would be a good idea to keep low profile and takes the pressure off of him and will maybe show him that I can be low profile when I want. Because Like I said..I know he has seen my fun and energetic side and he may be intimidated by it somewhat since he does come across as a more quiet and unobtrusive guy. He even said that drummers are always in the background. Of course he could be totally different in performance mode!
BTW...I just saw your post and good luck woman!
Honestly to me you seem pretty pushy about this issue, a man should invite you into his life be it he's into drums, singing, marathons, his world is his and if he's not doing anything to move forward with you inregards to including you into his life then why would you want to be that intrusive, even so if there are groupies so what, your not really in a real relationship yet, your most likely still in the feeling each other out and getting to know one another stage and that stage can be very slow, very fragile and a small slight can create a disconnect that will be hard on you. Let him invite you but of course you can just show up to the show but don't be surprised if how you behave creates distance between the 2 of you.
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
but if it's something he loves doing,why would he not want to share it? after 2 months.....
2 months is not a long time, it really isn't. Why would he want to introduce her into his world when he's still getting to know her, and wondering if she will fit into his world, yes i'm sure he likes her and he's trying to develop something with her but that doesn't mean he wants to include her in his personal life just yet, seems he may still be figuring things out, perhaps if they had been dating between 6 months to a year then yeah I would be curious and suspicious and I would definitely feel left out and most likely have a talk about it or as some said go scope it out myself but right now things are brand new and it seems she's way ahead of him in the relationship department, that attitude could potentially destroy the connection, he's not hers yet.
Him not including her in that part of his life is a sure signal to her that he's not there yet, he's still unsure about how she's going to fit into his life. Not a bad thing...patience.
Even if there is something going on bella that's none of her business, until she's clear she's in a committed exclusive one one one monogamous relationship with him there is nothing to go check out. She should be dating other men up until she solidifies a real relationship with him, right now everything is imaginary until he moves things forward and right now he's not doing that. Why go chase a guy down in a pub when she could be dating a great guy that's chasing her down....She needs to focus on her life and stop jumping ahead of him by being overly emotionally involved too soon.
I'm sure if she show up it will set a negative tone and it's a bit sneaky and controlling as well, he's a grown man, he doesn't want to feel trapped with a woman that has to sneak and hide and check up behind him like he's a child. Not very impressive way of being if she wants to get beyond 2 months with him.
Relax, let him invite you without him being pushed or influenced, he's capable of inviting you when he's ready to do it.
I'm sure if she show up it will set a negative tone and it's a bit sneaky and controlling as well, he's a grown man, he doesn't want to feel trapped with a woman that has to sneak and hide and check up behind him like he's a child. Not very impressive way of being if she wants to get beyond 2 months with him.
Relax, let him invite you without him being pushed or influenced, he's capable of inviting you when he's ready to do it.
I see both your points bella and seavixen but I sometimes I try to put myself in a man's shoes, I know we all can get caught up in our girl feelings and let our intuitions run wild but I have to agree with satori, it's not good to get prematurely suspicious, it could really create the very thing she doesn't want which is to create negative feelings in a man which creates distance. Don't let fears get the best of her, go relax, have fun elsewhere and forget about it, just don't emotionally invest in men that seem resistant to include a woman in his life. If he seems resistant fine that's okay it's his life, his world but that is a sure sign that he's not as into you as he may have led you to feel and to believe...time to back up
Posted by seavixen2
"I'm sure if she show up it will set a negative tone and it's a bit sneaky and controlling as well, he's a grown man, he doesn't want to feel trapped with a woman that has to sneak and hide and check up behind him like he's a child."
^ that's a good point tiki
*puts my McGyver tools back into backpack*
LMAO!! Your so cute seavixen, you crack me up
Posted by BellaBulleautifulPosted by tiki33
Even if there is something going on bella that's none of her business, until she's clear she's in a committed exclusive one one one monogamous relationship with him there is nothing to go check out. She should be dating other men up until she solidifies a real relationship with him, right now everything is imaginary until he moves things forward and right now he's not doing that. Why go chase a guy down in a pub when she could be dating a great guy that's chasing her down....She needs to focus on her life and stop jumping ahead of him by being overly emotionally involved too soon.
I'm sure if she show up it will set a negative tone and it's a bit sneaky and controlling as well, he's a grown man, he doesn't want to feel trapped with a woman that has to sneak and hide and check up behind him like he's a child. Not very impressive way of being if she wants to get beyond 2 months with him.
Relax, let him invite you without him being pushed or influenced, he's capable of inviting you when he's ready to do it.
I thought I'd read where they were exlusive.I understand what you are saying,I really do.click to expand
Okay lets' say they are exclusive and he's not including her in that part of his life does that still mean use up her precious time playing eye spy, please if I gotta do all that I would much rather end it. I'm not going to assume he's a cheater or doing anything wrong because I'm not in that world with him and honestly I wouldn't wanna be if he wasn't happily including me on his own.
If it's important that he includes you in his life well don't hint about it, that's annoying, just say it's important that to you that you see him play, it will make it much easier for him to understand you.
I totally get you bella, I can understand how you feel, I won't dispute your feelings, I'm sure you have your reasons...
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
Really I feel two things here....either he's not ready for you to meet his friends and that's why he does not invite you....or there is another woman that either goes to his gigs,or his friends know about.either way if it were me,I would be on a covert mission of finding out without his knowing.I would by no means make it known before or during that I was there.
but that's just me....
and if you do get caught and he is unhappy....there's your answer.but don't get caught.😉
Hahahaha....don't get caught!!!!! I just realized next show is February 21 and it is benefit for School for the Blind in which my friends and I are supporters of. I can keep it covert but then if I do get caught it wouldn't be a lie that we are there for a great cause! He knows I work in the medical field as well so it would be understandable to him.
I guess I can see how he may not be ready for me to meet his friends but I would like to make sure it's not because of another woman.
I can see Satori's point as well but this is a great cause that I am actually a supporter of so it works out. I don't think I will tell him and we will leave before he finishes. I will talk to my friend about it but it may be hard to get someone because I also just noticed that it starts late like after 10 on a Sunday...hhhhmmmm.
I think she's going to get dumped if she keeps behaving the way she is, very immature, I hope I'm wrong.
I follow my gut feelings too bella so I know what you mean but sometimes it's just fear and that has to be controlled as to not get in the way of true intuition.
I follow my gut feelings too bella so I know what you mean but sometimes it's just fear and that has to be controlled as to not get in the way of true intuition.
I feel it's better to communicate than to sneak, no good, won't last if that's the tone she wants to set.
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
but I'm at the age I ain't gonna ef around.....😉
LOL bella I completely get how you feel, I really do but there are other ways of dealing with relationships, I dunno for me sneaking makes me feel desperate inside over a man, I would much rather communicate than sneak, if I have to sneak then I don't want it, that's just me, how I choose to be, I know women have there own way of dealing with men.
I mean who takes a social security card and gives it back the next day LOL, I mean that's ridiculous and creepy...shivers
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
you may be right in this case.that guy we were talking about on the pisces board just put me in a suspicious state of mind the last couple of days I guess....
or I could blame it on the sky....
thats is creepy and funny nobody will never get my ssn.
Posted by hikoro
StPatrickspisces,
Interesting situation, as a watergal, I know that we can be very insecure, thus, I can understand that you may feel that something is off or wrong. And as I mentioned, you do have those fire placements, which could make you react in a more impatient and bold manner.
But judging from personal experience with my Virgo, I recommend patience and strength and to always remember that Virgos are not emotional intuitive-signs like us.
If you feel this concert is a very important cause to you, then tell him. If he is a good man as you say, then he will understand.
But I don't recommend sneaking, Virgos, similar to Scorpios are very protective of their privacy and setting astrology aside, I would not want that to be done to me. In my eyes, you would come across as being controlling and paranoid and well, it can get worse for you. That is, you don't want to set a cycle where you start sneaking around any time he does not react the way you want him to.
I once wrote that Pisces and Virgo can bring the worst out of themselves, being opposite signs.
If you feel that you need to sneak in, then the relationship is not worth it or is too problematic because when you have a good and open communication with someone, you don't need to do things behind his or her back.
co-sign, totally agree
Posted by BellaBulleautifulPosted by tiki33Posted by BellaBulleautiful
but I'm at the age I ain't gonna ef around.....😉
LOL bella I completely get how you feel, I really do but there are other ways of dealing with relationships, I dunno for me sneaking makes me feel desperate inside over a man, I would much rather communicate than sneak, if I have to sneak then I don't want it, that's just me, how I choose to be, I know women have there own way of dealing with men.
I don't really look at it as sneaking.just gathering info....I didn't tell her to check his phone records or anything lol
it's a public place.click to expand
It's a public place sure but that is a place were he works at with his band, that's sneaking and whose to say if she sneak up on him in a public place she won't go through his phone records...Were does it end? She definitely wouldn't establish trust by prying into his life.
Patience, lots of it, if he's cheating or doing anything of the sort it will manifest itself in time. She seems completely smittened and when some women get smittened they take that as there que to pry into a man's life. Wrong
Posted by seavixen2
After 2 months tho guys— Most dudes sleep with a girl the first night or not that long after. He's a drummer in a POPULAR local band...ALOT of people go hear them play...I don't think she's coming off pushy at all, she's only subtly brought it up once or twice in 2 months...
I bet he doesn't have a problem sharing other sides of him...
I don't think I have been pushy at all hence the post...lol. I know this is a new thing for me being with someone who is probably more patient than me and I didn't see it as something so personal to him because he is in a public band at public venues. I was just wondering why he may not want me to go. I know there are groupies and I don't have a problem with that. We have communicated on being monogamous with one another and I am VERY faithful and of course I don't want to find out that it is because of another woman and I am more emotionally invested in him. I am just speculating and probably won't end up doing it as I think seavixen mentioned about Pisces not really doing anything about it and just sitting at home...lol. I just feel like I would feel weird not sharing something like that if I was doing it. I can understand if he's not ready to introduce me to friends or if it's something else. I like hearing from all sides of the zodiac and perspectives though. I may be rushing even seeing his band and that is why I haven't pushed it. I have been very open with him and have not smothered him one bit. We don't question eachother about our weekends or times apart even. It just hurts my feelings somewhat and that may be more so because of my emotional aspects and that's okay because it's just who I am. I don't necessarily want to straight out ask him without knowing from a Virgo/Man perspective as well in case maybe it was a Virgo trait or something that I could wrap my brain around more and just be more patient.
I'm curious why you would want to skirt around the situation, I mean this is a lot of emotional drama over this issue. If it's important to you then say it, stop with the overanalyzing, it may not even be something you should be hurt over, I mean at the least talk to the man first before you decide to be hurt, he may not know the importance of seeing him play. If your in an exclusive monogamous relationship then you shouldn't have to hint at anything, that only creates more conflict for you and for him. Just say it, I want to see you play let me know what venue and the best time and date and let him figure out the rest.
Posted by tiki33
I think she's going to get dumped if she keeps behaving the way she is, very immature, I hope I'm wrong.
I follow my gut feelings too bella so I know what you mean but sometimes it's just fear and that has to be controlled as to not get in the way of true intuition.
How am I being immature tiki33? By asking advice on WHY he may not be inviting me? How have I behaved? I have not pressed the issue and I have not snuck around in his business or gone to see him. I have just speculated here on this forum. I am 38 years old and I am NOT immature because if I was I wouldn't be asking for advice I would've already been sneaking to one of his shows or snooping through his personal things.
I am sorry but I feel a little offended by your comment. Remember that a lot of what you all are talking about is just people's advice or helpfullness to my post (which I appreciate!). I haven't really decided on doing any of it. We are just throwing ideas around. All the response is still being digested by me.
Posted by StpatrickspiscesPosted by tiki33
I think she's going to get dumped if she keeps behaving the way she is, very immature, I hope I'm wrong.
I follow my gut feelings too bella so I know what you mean but sometimes it's just fear and that has to be controlled as to not get in the way of true intuition.
How am I being immature tiki33? By asking advice on WHY he may not be inviting me? How have I behaved? I have not pressed the issue and I have not snuck around in his business or gone to see him. I have just speculated here on this forum. I am 38 years old and I am NOT immature because if I was I wouldn't be asking for advice I would've already been sneaking to one of his shows or snooping through his personal things.
I am sorry but I feel a little offended by your comment. Remember that a lot of what you all are talking about is just people's advice or helpfullness to my post (which I appreciate!). I haven't really decided on doing any of it. We are just throwing ideas around. All the response is still being digested by me.click to expand
I don't mean to offend you, I apologize if you felt offended, I tend to speak freely and it doesn't always bowl over well with some people.
What I meant by my statement is sneaking up on someone in any form is a sign of immaturity. When people feel like they have to snoop it's a sign of insecurity and immaturity and it's controlling. Your speculation is causing you internal drama because it may not even be true.
Sometimes we women get uncomfortable with our fears and our feelings and we act out instead of doing the hard stuff like communicating with our partners. If you want to see him play then discuss it, you should never have to feel like you have to snoop on your partner.
Posted by tiki33
I'm curious why you would want to skirt around the situation, I mean this is a lot of emotional drama over this issue. If it's important to you then say it, stop with the overanalyzing, it may not even be something you should be hurt over, I mean at the least talk to the man first before you decide to be hurt, he may not know the importance of seeing him play. If your in an exclusive monogamous relationship then you shouldn't have to hint at anything, that only creates more conflict for you and for him. Just say it, I want to see you play let me know what venue and the best time and date and let him figure out the rest.
I had asked him and no response is why I didn't ask him outright this time. That's also why I thought I would just post it and see what others thought. Your advice is good though and I understand where you are coming from. I am in unfamiliar territory here and that's why I am asking for advice as well. I know it may be totally stupid to let it hurt my feelings at all but again that's the truth. I have also said on previous threads that I do have a hard time being so direct if I get the feeling the other person has skirted the issue because I do care if I am "bothering" him or I try to be sensitive to his feelings on the issue so that I don't back him into a corner if he's not ready to share that part of his life with me. I would share mine with him but that's because I am a different person/sign than he is and I know that can make a huge difference.
I can see good points in all of the advice and I know there are many angles to look at it from.
So really, thanks and you can keep it coming. I can take it. I just don't want to be unjustly accused if I haven't done something is all. :-)
I'm sorry but I read in your previous post that you hinted and he didn't respond, maybe I misread that, I was under the impression you never asked him out right about coming to his show, my apologies if so. I guess I have a hard time understanding why you would be hurt over him not choosing to include you in that part of his life right now. It's so early and there is so much time to share with one another your lives together, there is nothing to rush into and I'm sure if find a way to be direct he will communicate his thoughts with you. I just don't think showing up would be a great idea, I mean at the most tell him your going to one of his shows if he doesn't seem forthcoming with an invite but don't just show up.
I just believe the slower the better, if it's real true love and romance it's not going anywhere and you both have plenty of time to pace yourselves and reveal yourselves to one another.
I just believe the slower the better, if it's real true love and romance it's not going anywhere and you both have plenty of time to pace yourselves and reveal yourselves to one another.
Posted by tiki33Posted by StpatrickspiscesPosted by tiki33
I think she's going to get dumped if she keeps behaving the way she is, very immature, I hope I'm wrong.
I follow my gut feelings too bella so I know what you mean but sometimes it's just fear and that has to be controlled as to not get in the way of true intuition.
How am I being immature tiki33? By asking advice on WHY he may not be inviting me? How have I behaved? I have not pressed the issue and I have not snuck around in his business or gone to see him. I have just speculated here on this forum. I am 38 years old and I am NOT immature because if I was I wouldn't be asking for advice I would've already been sneaking to one of his shows or snooping through his personal things.
I am sorry but I feel a little offended by your comment. Remember that a lot of what you all are talking about is just people's advice or helpfullness to my post (which I appreciate!). I haven't really decided on doing any of it. We are just throwing ideas around. All the response is still being digested by me.
I don't mean to offend you, I apologize if you felt offended, I tend to speak freely and it doesn't always bowl over well with some people.
What I meant by my statement is sneaking up on someone in any form is a sign of immaturity. When people feel like they have to snoop it's a sign of insecurity and immaturity and it's controlling. Your speculation is causing you internal drama because it may not even be true.
Sometimes we women get uncomfortable with our fears and our feelings and we act out instead of doing the hard stuff like communicating with our partners. If you want to see him play then discuss it, you should never have to feel like you have to snoop on your partner.click to expand
That's okay. I know you are just giving your advice as well but I just wanted to be clear that I haven't acted on any of it. It has just been advice from others so far and I have just speculated on it. I will just be patient for now and if it comes up again or I start my wondering I will just have to ask him straight out. I just don't want him to have to feel pressured to invite me if I do because then I will feel bad about that....lol. I did just want others opinions though bec
Posted by tiki33
I'm sorry but I read in your previous post that you hinted and he didn't respond, maybe I misread that, I was under the impression you never asked him out right about coming to his show, my apologies if so. I guess I have a hard time understanding why you would be hurt over him not choosing to include you in that part of his life right now. It's so early and there is so much time to share with one another your lives together, there is nothing to rush into and I'm sure if find a way to be direct he will communicate his thoughts with you. I just don't think showing up would be a great idea, I mean at the most tell him your going to one of his shows if he doesn't seem forthcoming with an invite but don't just show up.
I just believe the slower the better, if it's real true love and romance it's not going anywhere and you both have plenty of time to pace yourselves and reveal yourselves to one another.
I had to go back and reread things and it was later in the thread where I talked about addressing him about it a couple of times before the hint text...lol. I guess I am more impatient but I also didn't feel like that should be a big deal as far as me seeing him play. Then after this post I do see that it could be many other issues he's not maybe ready for...friends, groupies, insecurities are all possibilities...as well as another woman...lol. (I hope not!) he he.
I can also see from the different points of view especially after reading through all the posts again. We people are just so different and we tend to see things differently and that's why I have really enjoyed DXP because it makes me aware of and look at the other points of view. I am also just getting into astrology more so I am still not sure what my other placements can mean in my own personality! You are right about having plenty of time. I don't know why I am rushing it. I guess one reason is my long time friend wanted to go to a show and when I told her that he really hadn't answered me about going she thought it was weird and that we should just go because she is really interested in their music and couldn't understand why I would be hesitant about it.
Posted by BellaBulleautiful
actually I see both sides...hence the wafting back and forth....
LOL! Me too!!!
Posted by hikoro
StPatrickspisces,
Interesting situation, as a watergal, I know that we can be very insecure, thus, I can understand that you may feel that something is off or wrong. And as I mentioned, you do have those fire placements, which could make you react in a more impatient and bold manner.
But judging from personal experience with my Virgo, I recommend patience and strength and to always remember that Virgos are not emotional intuitive-signs like us.
If you feel this concert is a very important cause to you, then tell him. If he is a good man as you say, then he will understand.
But I don't recommend sneaking, Virgos, similar to Scorpios are very protective of their privacy and setting astrology aside, I would not want that to be done to me. In my eyes, you would come across as being controlling and paranoid and well, it can get worse for you. That is, you don't want to set a cycle where you start sneaking around any time he does not react the way you want him to.
I once wrote that Pisces and Virgo can bring the worst out of themselves, being opposite signs.
If you feel that you need to sneak in, then the relationship is not worth it or is too problematic because when you
have a good and open communication with someone, you don't need to do things behind his or her back.
Very well put Hikoro! That's good to know about my other placements because I didn't realize that. I am being impatient and I have been bold! It's weird how astrology can be so correct! (as "Twilight Zone" music plays) I don't have to go to that concert because I can show support to that cause in another way. I will just quit getting miffed and enjoy our time together and get closer before I worry too much about it. My friend that wants to go wouldn't want to go on Sunday nights so that will put her off anyways..lol. Thanks ya'll. I just needed to see other sides of the more than two sided coin!!!
Seavixen, I do wish I Sorti would weigh in though since he is a Virgo and in the band scene! Sorti, Sorti...where are you? he he 😉
I see your points st.pat and bella, I'm a woman I feel the exact same way you all feel but I have learned how to see it from a males perspective as well, I know our girlfriends (not all but a huge majority) will push us to behave in unattractive ways and sometimes women just can't see how unattractive she becomes to a man when she let her insecurities surface, it's unsexy and unattractive. I'm not saying you both are wrong, hell I'm a woman, I feel those same kind of angst and anxieties too but I just don't let them run my life, control me...I had to learn the art of patience and communication and acceptance, if a man doesn't want me in a part of his life well he just doesn't and maybe he's not the man for me, that's just how I view things when dealing with a man, it should be a mutual reciprocal situation were we are both sharing our lives and if one person is dragging his feet that's a sure sign I need to slow down and pay better attention to how I choose to share my life with that particular man.
I just feel she's over investing herself so she has these expectations that aren't met and if they aren't met she feels insecure, she is in the danger zone because they are 2 different people and what's important to her may not be important to him and that's when communication comes into play and if she communicates in a clear precise manner as to how she feels and he's not reacting and responding in a way that satifies her then maybe he's not really that emotionally invested and connected to her as he led her to feel and believe.
I really don't see anything wrong with how slow he's choosing to let her in into his world, some men and women want to keep some things for themselves.
I just feel she's over investing herself so she has these expectations that aren't met and if they aren't met she feels insecure, she is in the danger zone because they are 2 different people and what's important to her may not be important to him and that's when communication comes into play and if she communicates in a clear precise manner as to how she feels and he's not reacting and responding in a way that satifies her then maybe he's not really that emotionally invested and connected to her as he led her to feel and believe.
I really don't see anything wrong with how slow he's choosing to let her in into his world, some men and women want to keep some things for themselves.
Posted by tiki33
I see your points st.pat and bella, I'm a woman I feel the exact same way you all feel but I have learned how to see it from a males perspective as well, I know our girlfriends (not all but a huge majority) will push us to behave in unattractive ways and sometimes women just can't see how unattractive she becomes to a man when she let her insecurities surface, it's unsexy and unattractive. I'm not saying you both are wrong, hell I'm a woman, I feel those same kind of angst and anxieties too but I just don't let them run my life, control me...I had to learn the art of patience and communication and acceptance, if a man doesn't want me in a part of his life well he just doesn't and maybe he's not the man for me, that's just how I view things when dealing with a man, it should be a mutual reciprocal situation were we are both sharing our lives and if one person is dragging his feet that's a sure sign I need to slow down and pay better attention to how I choose to share my life with that particular man.
I just feel she's over investing herself so she has these expectations that aren't met and if they aren't met she feels insecure, she is in the danger zone because they are 2 different people and what's important to her may not be important to him and that's when communication comes into play and if she communicates in a clear precise manner as to how she feels and he's not reacting and responding in a way that satifies her then maybe he's not really that emotionally invested and connected to her as he led her to feel and believe.
I really don't see anything wrong with how slow he's choosing to let her in into his world, some men and women want to keep some things for themselves.
I agree but that is one of the reasons I am getting advice. I haven't set any expectations on him and I just felt a bit miffed that he hasn't invited me but it is not a deal breaker for our relationship. I have purposely been looking at other men than I used to in the past since I decided to start dating again because I used to say I have a bad "picker" because of the types of men I would choose. Hence why I am no talking to him. He is totally different from anyone I have dated and is even a different race than I have dated. It's a learning experience for me b/c the other men I have dated have been very forthcoming with sharing information and their activities with me after a ve
It's a learning experience for me b/c the other men I have dated have been very forthcoming with sharing information and their activities with me after a very short time. I didn't have to exercise patience as much I guess...lol. He actually makes me feel very secure in myself when I am with him. I know I do still have my own issues and he may have his as well and that is why I haven't pressed any of these issues with him because I have turned over a new leaf. This site helps me to vent or ask other's advice instead of being tempted to be too impulsive and doing stupid stuff I might regret with him. That is why I do really appreciate all the advice given. Being in unfamiliar territory with a very different type of man than I am used to does probably bring out some insecurity but I am not blind to the fact that it is probably just me since I haven't projected any of
this to him. I will definitely keep ya'll posted as to our "slow" development...he he! J/K about the "slow" part. I know it has really been that long! 😉
this to him. I will definitely keep ya'll posted as to our "slow" development...he he! J/K about the "slow" part. I know it has really been that long! 😉
Posted by sortilege85
So you shouldn't be feeling insecure that he's going around hiding you to go "flexing" (like how my nephew says it) other women because he probably isn't and if he does then you'll just leave his ass. *My mistake haha*
Ha ha! I would do that fo sho if I find out he has other woman cuz this homey don't play that! Thanks for your advice! "Silkylocks" is doing great! I didn't go and I am not even sure if I even could go to the benefit one because it's hard to get the people I know to do a Sunday night if it's late and he won't come on til like after 10 pm. Then the next time in our city is like during spring break and I may be in Miami. So I may not have a choice but to wait anyways...lol. I know I just need to be more patient as well but I guess those fire placements must be influencing me more than I realized...he he. 😉 It's good to hear from the male Virgos too! Woohoo to you guys!!!
I am just really trying to do this right because he isn't like the guys I have dated in the past and that is why I do appreciate the halp and advice because I don't always know how to handle things and it's good to get outside opinions.
Thanks to all of you for participating and helping me out. Don't want to keep making same mistakes I have in past if I can avoid it by using wise judgements now and not just being too impulsive and gung-ho with everything too quickly!!!
Stpatrick - I am not a Virgo, but I am a poet / artist. It takes me a long time to include somebody in that part of my life. I imagine that other artists feel this way as well. Honestly, unless I meet a man through my work, most of the time, the men I date never even know that side of me.
This is why: it is the most VALUABLE, and therefore, VULNERABLE side of myself. I do not want anybody who will write it off as simply being something I do for fun. If somebody I dated crashed my reading, I would feel violated, even if I felt a happy that they were interested in my work. Just because his band is playing in the public doesn't mean he wants to include you just yet. He is protecting his thing, he would invite you if he wanted you there.
That being said, make it clear - once - that you are interested. He will invite you when he's ready. Don't miss that date.
This is why: it is the most VALUABLE, and therefore, VULNERABLE side of myself. I do not want anybody who will write it off as simply being something I do for fun. If somebody I dated crashed my reading, I would feel violated, even if I felt a happy that they were interested in my work. Just because his band is playing in the public doesn't mean he wants to include you just yet. He is protecting his thing, he would invite you if he wanted you there.
That being said, make it clear - once - that you are interested. He will invite you when he's ready. Don't miss that date.
Posted by a muse a libra
Stpatrick - I am not a Virgo, but I am a poet / artist. It takes me a long time to include somebody in that part of my life. I imagine that other artists feel this way as well. Honestly, unless I meet a man through my work, most of the time, the men I date never even know that side of me.
This is why: it is the most VALUABLE, and therefore, VULNERABLE side of myself. I do not want anybody who will write it off as simply being something I do for fun. If somebody I dated crashed my reading, I would feel violated, even if I felt a happy that they were interested in my work. Just because his band is playing in the public doesn't mean he wants to include you just yet. He is protecting his thing, he would invite you if he wanted you there.
That being said, make it clear - once - that you are interested. He will invite you when he's ready. Don't miss that date.
See, that's why it's good to get input from different people b/c I am an actress and I would invite people in a heartbeat to see me in something but I am just like that. So it's good to know that some people feel differently about their passions and it may be something more private and sacred to them when it comes to sharing it. Thank you muse a Libra! 😉
Posted by ArianPride
Hmmm well if a Virgo wants you to be there with them...they will make damn sure that you are there. I've noticed that with my own relationship. If they want you around...then they ask you straight up if you are coming, if you are asked...then it's important and they value you as a person.
I see it as simply he isn't asking for his own reasons......so ask him up on it but don't go and show up lol, Virgo's hate being caught off guard.
The more I think about all the advice I don't think I will go unless he invites me or I ask him straight up and then he invites me. I think it would bother him if I came especially if I didn't tell him first. I was thinking a lot about it and why it bothers me and I realized it isn't so bothersome that I can't just steel myself to have more patience and give it more time. Each time we see eachother I know he gets more comfortable and he is also learning more of who I am so I am sure he will eventually want me there. I am sure he has women that go and harass him or are like "stalkers" and such and he may just want to feel me out more to make sure I am not gonna go all bananas on anyone...lol. I guess my feelings got hurt because I was looking at it more from my point of view like I mentioned earlier about me inviting someone to see me right away but that is because I really am an open book in so many ways and it is a different artistic venure than his in that I don't have "groupies" or things like that. I am all better now...he he. 😉
It has really helped to hear all of you though and I am glad I posted it. I can tend to be quite impulsive and spontaneous and I might have ended up going on a whim and it may not have turned out good so thanks!
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My real issue now is that he is a drummer in a band. When we first started communicating by email he told me about it but said they weren't playing that much when I had mentioned maybe coming to hear them sometime. Once he told me their name of course I looked them up and really enjoyed it (not only because he is in it...lol) and would love to hear them in person! I have sent a couple texts here and there mentioning it but he conveniently doesn't address that part of my text and has not invited me to see them at any point and time. I saw that they are playing pretty regularly again and tonight they are going to play at a venue that I was at last night so I sent him a text to say that I hoped he had a great weekend (we don't see eachother much on the weekends due to his band rehearsals and my goings on) and that I was at the venue last night and noticed they were going to play tonight and wished him a great show. I thought I would put the ball in his court to see if maybe he would invite me but NO! He replied right away with a thank you and that he hopes I enjoy the rest of my weekend. Uuuuuuggghh! Why would he not want me to come to one of his shows? We have been really enjoying our times together and had a great Thursday night together and I don't want to be too pushy about it without maybe understanding some more viewpoints that might be at play in this situation. It does kind of irk me and a couple of my friends are really into jazz music and have mentioned that we should all go and check them out but I have felt uncomfortable about that since it seems he doesn't want me to come.
Any input from anyone, male or female, Virgo or not would be appreciated but especially from the Virgo men. (Also, he is born 9/7 because I know there are differences in the August/September Virgos.)