Virgo Male & Sex?

I have been dating a Virgo man in his 30's for about 5 months now. He did break up with me for a little while and when we got back together he told me he broke up with me because he thought that I was too good for him. I told him that's not how I look at it and that I think about him in the morning when I wake up and at night when I go to bed but, I can't say that I love him because I don't know him well enough but, I would like too. Well, we have been spending alot of time together but, on Friday he didn't feel well so we just cuddled and I fell asleep on his chest and then he texted me on Saturday asked if he could come over and cook dinner for me and he did and stayed the night but, he seemed preoccupied so, I ended up falling asleep on his chest again. Next morning I tried to wake him up nicely and he stopped me so, I got up and made some coffee and he comes out and tells me he's sorry that he was nervous because his ex-girlfriend was bring his son by his house today and he hasn't seen him in a while. He gave me a kiss before he left and told me he would call me later. I have not heard from him. I tried calling him but, he doesn't answer his phone. I don't think he is with his ex-girlfriend because they don't get along very well but, I do know how hard it is when he doesn't get to see his son.

Question is: when a Virgo man is preoccupied, will he turn down sex or could it be something more?

Ok, update. I just received a text message from him saying he got to see his kid. I wrote back to him saying that I'm glad because I was worried that she didn't show up. Then, he called me and told me that she didn't at first and he got pissed off and then she ended up showing up. I was surprised he called me back finally. I still can't figure it out.

Hi Sweethearts,

I definitley think that Virgo men are very affected by things and turn off sexually when something is weighing heavy on their hearts.

Why did you guys break up and how did you and your Virgo get back together if you don't mind me asking. I just had a Virgo break up with me about 3 weeks ago.

Ok, I guess that did sound confusing. I was curious if a Virgo man will turn down sex because of something else going own with his life that is heartbreaking to him. (which is that he doesn't get to see his son often) We were dating for a while then he just stopped it and we never even fought. We both hang out at a mutual place so we still saw each other and would say "hi" and I would see him watch me from the corner of my eye and I of course would be watching him (because I never wanted the break up in the first place). 1 1/2 weeks ago I saw him out and we chatted friendly and he asked to borrow something of mine so, I let him and he told me he would give it back the next night. Well, he called me the next day and asked if I could pick it up at his house and I told him I would. Well, that night the power went out around town and I had a heater and lamps for my house and he didn't. I offered him to come over and hang out to play cards and he did. We ended up talking almost all night long and he told me that he thought I was too good for him and that is why he broke up with me and also that I felt he was getting too close and he was afraid to get hurt. I told him that I was afraid too. I asked him if he was willing to try again and he told me well, I'm here aren't I. (Which meant yes in his terms) - I had to ask him what he meant and that's what he said. Well, we have been spending alot of time together this past 1 1/2 weeks but, only had sex once. I do have a high sex drive and I don't know if that is too much for him or what. Well, there is a little more insight.

VGT - First of all: It is not just sex I want from him. I care about him very deeply and yes, I want more than just sex but, I was confused because we were getting so close and intimate and he just wanted to cuddle and talk. I did not know that then but, I do now. That is something new to me. I have never experience that with anyone before.

As for what you said " I want to love that person but don't know if I could. Why do you "want" to love him?
I did not say that. I told him that's not how I look at it and that I think about him in the morning when I wake up and at night when I go to bed but, I can't say that I love him because I don't know him well enough but, I would like too.

Anyways, last night he called me and wanted me to go out and I couldn't because I had to babysit my granddaughter. He then, called me around 1:30am and a little drunk and I went and picked him up and he wanted to come to my house and he stayed. Well, for some reason he gave me the best sex I had ever had with him and it was amazing.

I do want more than just sex. He knows that. I want a relationship with him but, he has put the brakes on that twice before and I am hoping he doesn't do it again. I really care about this guy and I believe I could fall in love with him which scares me but, I think he is worth it. I just was looking for advice that's all.

I completely understand your frustration sweethearts. I, like you, had the same problem with a virgo that I was dating. I too am used to a man who if he likes you and maybe even loves you he shows it with sex. Every book on the market says that a man shows love with sex. It doesn't seem normal when a man does not want to have sex especially in the first part of the relationship. It doesn't have anything to do with not having sex. It's the red flag that it puts up that something may be wrong because he lacks the urgency and if he supposedly likes you so much than why the pushing away. I felt so rejected by my virgo when he was so hot and cold all of the time about sex. One night we would have this great passionate night together and the next week he would be sending me home. Brace yourself, you probably have another cold night coming since you just had a very passionate one. My advice to you though is if you want to keep him be patient with him as long as you can before confronting him about it or he may run away. I couldn't be patient and it seems that it's over now. When I confronted my virgo he said "yes you are right. I'm purposely pushing you away and yes I should want to be all over you, but I just don't all the time and I don't know what I want." I thought for sure he was just scared and that I would hear from him again but it's been over 3 weeks now and I've heard nothing. 2 weeks before he was buying me presents and introducing me to his parents and then he just got scared. I think i'm always going to wonder what if I had not forced the issue. Would he have worked it out on his own or did I just save myself maybe months of misery?

Yes, I'm not saying that sex always means love no way, but I think the urge is much more if there is love so I am saying that if he doesn't want to have sex then something is probably wrong in the relationship and I think with some men if they are not certain how they feel about you they start to feel guilty about just having sex if they are decent guys. If they have no conscience then they will just do it anyway. If you are at the beginning of a relationship and he doesn't want to have sex than he doesn't know what he wants and may be afraid of leading you on. I was hoping that in my situation it was because he was on blood pressure medication which I heard that can affect a man sexually, but no it was because he didn't know what he wanted and I guess all of the great things he was doing for me was just his personality and he would have done that stuff for anyone that he likes and respects. Didn't mean that he loved me though.

Hi gslove,

Ya know...I think YOU did what you needed to do for you, gslove. Sometimes we wonder about our decisions because the consequences are not what we hoped for. What is so important here is the fact that YOU honored YOUR true feelings and you had the courage to speak your truth - you chose not to compromise yourself and for this I say...kudos to you! Figure out what is truly important to you...do you want a relationship based on truth and honesty, respect, communication and reciprocation? If so, then you must be all of that and you were/are. If you had not forced the issue (which I do not see it as "forcing the issue" but rather being true to you and the relationship) when you did, the same situation and feelings would creep up again for you to deal with later on.

Mr. Virgo just may not be on the same page as you at the moment...and you want someone who is and who will be with you because they choose to be and love you just for who you are. 😉 The best relationship you will ever have is with yourself - be true to YOU!

Side note : when any of us do not know what we want, then our lives reflect that same thought - confusion. When we know what we want - nothing stops us from getting it - unless of course we really don't want it.

I so wish the best for you gslove 🙂

"if there is love so I am saying that if he doesn't want to have sex then something is probably wrong in the relationship" Hmmm...could be many things. Perhaps he personally has his own reasons for holding back. I read somewhere where Virgos do not easily jump into the sack/ have sex/ make love until they feel that the relationship is right for them. I am not saying that ALL Virgos are this way...but that of the signs, they are most likely to hold off——

Hi Freebird,

I know you are right! I am proud of staying true to myself but I'm the type that I rarely fall for someone so when I do, I do right away and when they don't fall as quickly as I do then I think it's not normal and feel rejected and confront them not because I love myself so much but because I get scared about getting hurt so I push it fully knowing that it will probably end things but I do it anyway to protect myself and then regret it later. I keep comparing my relationships to those of my friends that I know that have a successful relationship. They fell very fast and everything happened really fast because both people know what they want. That seems like the right way to me. When two people are ready it shouldn't be so hard. I'm just afraid that this behavior is scaring away potential partners just because they don't realize their feelings as fast as I do. I have heard those stories where patience has paid off.

"Question is: when a Virgo man is preoccupied, will he turn down sex or could it be something more?"

All signs and both sexes tend to do that........

Otherwise qslove and freebird are right on.

Apribaby: "I think it's more that men like sex, and they like it even more with someone they like/love." And you do not—??

gslove, I know....you are so right - relationships should not be difficult. They are only difficult when they are not right. The feeling of rejection is most definately not a good feeling - I concur. What if in your next adventure with a man you just see him as a friend, have no expectations - if it works fine, if not, that is okay too. By seeing it this way your energy will change. You will bring to you what you desire. A lot of times when we want something soooooooo bad, we end up losing it, it will pull away. Have a "I don't really care" attitude knowing you are happy with or without a man.

Also....with the right guy - you will have no need to feel that you must protect yourself 😉 You do have it goin' on gslove!

Thanks freebird,

Hopefully it won't take me another 8 years to find someone I really click with again and they with me. I think I have been on about a million dates. I just can't seem to get past that 5th date. They usually like me and I don't feel it or sometimes it's I like them and they don't feel it. That's why I was hoping this one was working out. We actually got to about 15 dates this time. It seems like it's a very hard thing to do for both people to be at the same exact place at the same time. Timing really is everything. It's very easy to have that I don't care attitude if you really don't care, but I have never been able to just date for the sake of dating. I would rather be alone than spend time with someone that just doesn't do it for me. I had that attitude with this guy at first, but the minute I realized I really liked him and let myself be vulnerable, the chase was over and everything flipped and he got the I don't care attitude which made me start acting a little crazy and obsessed. I thought I was doing a really good job at hiding my craziness to him but he must have sensed it somehow. LOL

Okey, I am a female virgo very deeply infatuated with a male virgo (my second virgo/virgo relationship)I thought I was a pro and had this all figured out. Things are going good as long as I dont expect more. This time I'm as patient as could be and it seems he is very comfortable with it just as happy to see me as I am him. But he still plays his disappearing act and its slowly deflating my balloon and my self confidence.

There is a little complicated history here as well which doesnt help matters in anyway. To sum it up I am legally still married waiting for my divorce. Well.... we meet well before I was getting divorced at a mutual friends party which entailed passionate or better yet the hottest make out and petting encounter I have ever had, but two virgos and the biggest bottle of wine left the end of the evening with both of us brutally insutling one another and bunting heads.Since I was only visiting at the time I then returned to my rocky marriage which was waiting for me back in Europe. After a few months this mutual friend said she was coming out to visit and who was she bringing the head bunting virgo... this started an email frenzie between us and long very long sometimes 5hr chat sessions I finally learned who he was and what he was all about and I knew I liked him, I knew before that I was seperating,my husband knew too, just head bunting virgo did not at the time.

It was obvious to everyone that we got along and we liked to be around each other we sat next to each other we talked non stop we smiled alot at each other but we wouldnt touch each other not one time, respect for my soon to be ex. Now that I've been back in the states for 6mo and the ex stayed behind in Europe, our situation has not changed, we go out alot, we have so much in common, we loose ourselves in conversation, forget about the time, eye contact and more eye contact but no physical contact what so ever.We see each other for weeks almost every other day, then he completely pulls back. I call it turtle mode he pulls into his shell and I'm left with this very hard disc of an object. I pretend it doesnt bother me but it does, I dont know if he wants to just be friends or if there really is more there. I'm scared to ask or say anything because I know how this sign acts if they feel pressured. I'm just afraid I can't do this any longer, I'm afraid he is just too comfortable with it, and I'm afraid of loosing him as a friend and of course loosing the possibilitie of him being more then just a friend.

hi fatalbutterfly,
have patience.
it must be very hard for him u 2 not going all the way. so he's probably taking a breather. evaluating. have patience.
once ur married r u going to spend the rest of ur days in passion, loose yourselves in conversation, forget about the time, eye contact and more eye contact —?
be realistic. remember ur a virgo be practical.
have patience.
since u 2 r almost in love stop all ur manipulations.
stick to the basics.
show him u care.
show him u love him.
show him u need him for more than sex.
if u miss him call him. try to meet each other every other day. make him know more abt u. what u care about. ur needs. ur wishes.
let him know that u love him for what he is. u appreciate HIM.
when things dont go ur way dont be disappointed have patience.
remember that ur going to spend the rest of your life with him. (or r u?)
every other week get angry with him over something silly then patchup the next day.
u'll get his ass and heart hooked.
for Godsake do all this only if do love him.
and wait have patience.
best of luck.
if u dont love him just look for somebody else quick. pls dont make love a game.
if u do u may feel very powerful and heady for sometime but remember when u hurt a heart u too lose and you'll be very lucky if u dont go through the same pain one day.
r women soo superficial ?

I didn't want to seem superficial, I only want to know if he feels the sameway if he likes me in that way or not. If I knew there might be that chance or possibilitie I would wait and wait and wait. Its the not knowing that makes me soooooo impatient.

I never said anything about marriage, I'm just recently divorced, not that I'm anti marriage. I'm not I know how fun and wonderful marriage can be when its good and with the right person. My marriage just fell apart and we grew apart.

That could be an issue too with him he has mentioned to alot of people that he wants to settle down and finally have a family and someone to come home to. He might think because I'm newly divorced I just want an adventure and not a relationship.

I am in love with him and I do care about him alot. We are really good friends and enjoy each others company too. I'm just extremly attracted to him. This is a man with depth and many talents. He's interesting, everything about him is interesting.I just dont want to mess it up, just because I cant get my hormones in check......and my girlie hysterics!!!!!

I want to be patient I just cant help but think of that night he grabed the back of my neck lifting my hair with his fingers and pulled me towards him to kiss.I guess I'm just wondering if will ever get back to where we were. Its all so backwards how came when we hardly knew each other we could we make out like that "no biggie" and now that we do and get along so well all the sudden be so prudy and standoffish actually we are both terrified of each other and I dont know how to change that.

It is confusing and that has crossed my mind too.... I didnt explain things well he did know I was married when that happened. When I came back home (USA) by myself in 2004 everyone knew that my marriage wasnt going well.I came to try to figure that out and realized what I was doing wasnt the right way to do things. I think thats why we stopped and had that big fight because we were attracted to each other and we both knew it wasnt right.

When I returned to Europe he didnt contact me until a few months later and only after I found out that he was accompyaning my best friend to Europe. Thats when the email and chat sessions started. He didnt arrive in Europe until 9 months later well after my husband and I decided we would divorce. We (my husband and I) just couldnt seperate though we wanted to do it in the U.S. its cheaper, but my marriage was well over. It was awkward having him in my house and my husband and him got along good and like I said we were just friends. But the memories haunted me and I felt attracted to him and we were close, he always sat by me even if my husband was at the same table, it was automatic and strange.

My husband, my best friend, him and I all flew back on the same day. Different airplanes.... my husband and I started our divorce and paperwork and he left and its over.... We've (Virgo and Virgo) been hanging out and doing things on and off for the last 6mo, we have alot in common and we enjoy each others company.

I wondered if I am attracted to him because he was the first and only other man in my life thats been there through this whole thing. I even gone on dates with other men and I sit there and only want to be around him.I end up never going out with them again. He has had dates with other women too. We find each other always coming back to each other.

Its making me insane....... and confused......

See if I made it more confusing or if its clearer..... Sorry