Virgo man no longer interested?

Posted by Joanie675
I feel for you. I am in the same boat actually -- gemini woman in love with a virgo man. In the beginning when I was still feeling my way around him, I did all the things you said you did in your post -- and he responded in typical virgo fashion telling me 1) if he wasn't interested in me, he would let me know; 2) that he was actually pissed that I even had to ask; 3) that if he didn't want to talk anymore, he would let me know; 3) that I was impatient and did I not trust him? and stuff like that which makes it counterproductive to actually ask him anything (especially about status of relationship) because if I do it again, that would make me impatient and untrusting. Hmmm.

So it's been ten days since I've last heard from him and since any inquiries at this point or nagging (which he hates) would be untrusting and impatient of me, I can't do anything but WAIT! Wait until I hear from him or he decides to pop up or whatever. It kind of goes against my Gemini nature to sort of put myself in "reserve" when there are lots of other people to meet and get to know but I like this guy -- mainly because he does what he says and I feel that he is a man of his word -- so I want this relationship to work out.

I have even consulted a clairvoyant friend of mine (trusted, proven, real friend -- IOW, I didn't dial a 1-800 psychic number) just to see if HE thinks we are still in a relationship given his silence and apparently, we still are so.... yes, I'm parking my fanny and staying put.

This is driving me crazy though so... just to let you know. I am with you. Be strong, haha.

Posted by Ccdarling

Posted by KrystleSade
hahaha i will try to be strong. but i just get worried if i will never get to tell him how inlove i am with him that bothers me the most

This is pretty typical of this duo, neither will admit their feelings. Both of you will struggle with this. It can become a push and pull scenario if one of the parties do not admit their feelings. Another words one of you will have to throw the white flag. If both of you fails to do so, it will never come full circle.

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Posted by KrystleSade

oh my! this is so creepy teehee. it is so against our nature to wait but it feels so right with him. he gives me that feeling that i have never felt before. he is honest,loyal,& very blunt. -- i am glad i am not the only one going through this *hugs* it's rare that a gemini & virgo get together.

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Yeah.... it was the same with me. I knew he was different when he called me out on certain things that nobody else would dare say in front of me. Something like, "The emperor (or empress, in this case) has no clothes!"

I was going to start a thread on this -- Distancing vs. Abandonment when it comes to Virgo men -- but this thread does the job already. I just hope the ever charming, ever so helpful virgo males on this forum help us out on this one. Still waiting for one of them to pipe up. =)

Posted by Ccdarling

Posted by KrystleSade
hahaha i will try to be strong. but i just get worried if i will never get to tell him how inlove i am with him that bothers me the most

This is pretty typical of this duo, neither will admit their feelings. Both of you will struggle with this. It can become a push and pull scenario if one of the parties do not admit their feelings. Another words one of you will have to throw the white flag. If both of you fails to do so, it will never come full circle.

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Posted by Joanie675

Posted by Ccdarling

Posted by KrystleSade
hahaha i will try to be strong. but i just get worried if i will never get to tell him how inlove i am with him that bothers me the most

This is pretty typical of this duo, neither will admit their feelings. Both of you will struggle with this. It can become a push and pull scenario if one of the parties do not admit their feelings. Another words one of you will have to throw the white flag. If both of you fails to do so, it will never come full circle.

What do you mean that one of the parties will have to admit their feelings? He's already declared himself my boyfriend which actually caught me off guard because it was sooo direct and quick. And being the Gem that I am, I thought that it would still take some time to do "the dance" and all that. That's why this left me confused. I was still in courtship mode while he had already settled into old married couple mode e.g. you're expected to really know me by now and know what I want.

He's already said he likes me, wants me, calls me "my love" although he hasn't said "i love you" yet which I am also not ready for. Like I said, i'm still in "what was that all about?" mode. So even if he said it at this point, i wouldn't believe him. He'd be able to tell even if I didn't say anything. His spider sense will start tingling and then it will become a trust issue AGAIN.

Maybe it's because I'm really not that emotional. Maybe it's because I'm a Gem. But really, I'd rather see it, feel it and experience it rather than hear it because there are a dime a dozen men out there who say it just because they're expected to say it and I don't buy into that crap.

It's kind of moot though since he's MIA right now. Even if I wanted to out myself with how important he's become to me... it would be like the sound of one hand clapping. =P

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Posted by Ccdarling
I just meant that someone will have to take the emotional lead. Which one of you will say "I love you" first and so forth. Often this can become a mind game to both parties. Watch out and don't allow it to become one. If you can overcome this part it will become much easier. Both parties are unsure of each other and have their guards up. In order for this to work the guards will have to be dropped. I hope this makes more sense. It will take time, both are slow movers.

Posted by gemtaur

Posted by Joanie675

Posted by Ccdarling

Posted by KrystleSade
hahaha i will try to be strong. but i just get worried if i will never get to tell him how inlove i am with him that bothers me the most

This is pretty typical of this duo, neither will admit their feelings. Both of you will struggle with this. It can become a push and pull scenario if one of the parties do not admit their feelings. Another words one of you will have to throw the white flag. If both of you fails to do so, it will never come full circle.

What do you mean that one of the parties will have to admit their feelings? He's already declared himself my boyfriend which actually caught me off guard because it was sooo direct and quick. And being the Gem that I am, I thought that it would still take some time to do "the dance" and all that. That's why this left me confused. I was still in courtship mode while he had already settled into old married couple mode e.g. you're expected to really know me by now and know what I want.

He's already said he likes me, wants me, calls me "my love" although he hasn't said "i love you" yet which I am also not ready for. Like I said, i'm still in "what was that all about?" mode. So even if he said it at this point, i wouldn't believe him. He'd be able to tell even if I didn't say anything. His spider sense will start tingling and then it will become a trust issue AGAIN.

Maybe it's because I'm really not that emotional. Maybe it's because I'm a Gem. But really, I'd rather see it, feel it and experience it rather than hear it because there are a dime a dozen men out there who say it just because they're expected to say it and I don't buy into that crap.

It's kind of moot though since he's MIA right now. Even if I wanted to out myself with how important he's become to me... it would be like the sound of one hand clapping. =P

If he likes you, he'll be back. He'll be back.

I love how no Virguys have piped in. They see "Gemini" and :::crickets:::

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Posted by gemtaur
We fascinate and frighten them, Krystle.

But they're very helpful.

Trick is, leave them a well-organized, detailed question and they'll be happy to help. You have to prove that you want their advice because they hate wasting time.

So, my suggestion would be to summarize your situation (nicely paragraphed is a good idea, esp. if it's a lot of info), and they'll come around to it when they recognize that you genuinely want their input.

I think sometimes the impression we give off as Gems is that our questions are rhetorical because if no one pipes up we'll just dive in and answer the question ourselves. haha

I guess they think to themselves: well, my help wasn't necessary since she didn't wait for my response or something like that.

Just my two cents.

Posted by Ccdarling
I just meant that someone will have to take the emotional lead. Which one of you will say "I love you" first and so forth. Often this can become a mind game to both parties. Watch out and don't allow it to become one. If you can overcome this part it will become much easier. Both parties are unsure of each other and have their guards up. In order for this to work the guards will have to be dropped. I hope this makes more sense. It will take time, both are slow movers.

Posted by Joanie675
Yahhh... I've been wondering about the silence myself. I've read a lot of other threads on the Virgo forum hoping for some insight and usually the Virgo dudes and dudettes don't hesitate to pipe in when a question is posed.

I know that there's a bit of a bias when it comes to Gemini... but, give us a break guys. We are just nice girls -- albeit fascinatingly confusing creatures at times -- who happen to like your kind. =P Very much so, I might add, that we take your criticisms in the best of spirits and try to improve ourselves because we love yahhhhh. =P

Posted by virgoking
burp awwwwwwwwwwwwww all virgos know that gems are know it alls so what every we say to you.. You will not believe bc its not what you believe the person is doing so there you have it.

Posted by Joanie675
I know that Virgos are usually logical and analytical. I don't know how fallacies and hasty generalizations such as that lend credence to that though. All Gems are like this, all Gems are like that, and that's why we won't help you out. I don't get the stonewalling. All I know is that it's not conducive to ... umm... world peace, lol.

Posted by KrystleSade
most virgo men say that if they don't like you anymore they would tell you. is that true? but what if he has stopped calling and/or responding to your texts? should you go and worry? see if i've been texting & calling but no response. even when i said he doesn't want to talk to me anymore to let me know he hasn't told me. but he has told me lots of things that make me not doubt his words. should i believe him? when i know in my heart he does want me.?? could he still be analyzing me? if it's been almost 2 months since we last spoken? it is a pretty long story but i have wrote this long story in another forum "how to know if a virgo man is inlove" forum....help would be much appreciated




Basically if a Virgo man NO longer loves you, he will actually do YOU a huge favor by speaking to you. but if he LOVES you deeply, he won't tell you; he'll push you away while he retreats to his man cave while analyzing his "feelings" to death. You may actually age a year or two as he "contemplates" every angle and emotion as earthly possible. and if per chance your paths cross, he'll just give you his patented Virgo stare and hope you can discern what the hell it means. If your lucky, you'll get his full critique of your flaws as he is self assured this job is made only for him; he is the master of truth.

seriously, what's so hard about understanding all of that? 😉

Posted by gemini64

Posted by KrystleSade
most virgo men say that if they don't like you anymore they would tell you. is that true? but what if he has stopped calling and/or responding to your texts? should you go and worry? see if i've been texting & calling but no response. even when i said he doesn't want to talk to me anymore to let me know he hasn't told me. but he has told me lots of things that make me not doubt his words. should i believe him? when i know in my heart he does want me.?? could he still be analyzing me? if it's been almost 2 months since we last spoken? it is a pretty long story but i have wrote this long story in another forum "how to know if a virgo man is inlove" forum....help would be much appreciated




Basically if a Virgo man NO longer loves you, he will actually do YOU a huge favor by speaking to you. but if he LOVES you deeply, he won't tell you; he'll push you away while he retreats to his man cave while analyzing his "feelings" to death. You may actually age a year or two as he "contemplates" every angle and emotion as earthly possible. and if per chance your paths cross, he'll just give you his patented Virgo stare and hope you can discern what the hell it means. If your lucky, you'll get his full critique of your flaws as he is self assured this job is made only for him; he is the master of truth.

seriously, what's so hard about understanding all of that? 😉

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*hugs* thank you kindly gem ^^ truly made my day

Posted by aquilascorpiusfemina
Virgos love to play mind games. You're a Gemini, maybe you're the kind of girl that sees love as not being a game. Love is no game. Virgos love to play in the love department.

confused as KrystalSade about this Virguy I was seeing. Thank you so much for creating this thread!

Posted by gemini64

Basically if a Virgo man NO longer loves you, he will actually do YOU a huge favor by speaking to you. but if he LOVES you deeply, he won't tell you; he'll push you away while he retreats to his man cave while analyzing his "feelings" to death. You may actually age a year or two as he "contemplates" every angle and emotion as earthly possible. and if per chance your paths cross, he'll just give you his patented Virgo stare and hope you can discern what the hell it means. If your lucky, you'll get his full critique of your flaws as he is self assured this job is made only for him; he is the master of truth.

seriously, what's so hard about understanding all of that? 😉

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There is a Virguy I was casually seeing (he didn't want anything serious) who didn't contact me for 6 months after he started working at a new job. Earlier this month, I finally contacted him and said that I couldn't take it anymore and have to move on. I told him that it would have been nice for him to let me know if he didn't want to continue this casual relationship and he responded "Yea, I should have let you know." We had an on and off thing going on (kissing and some physical intimacy but no sex) and when I asked what I was to him, he responded "a friend". Then I asked if he still has feelings for me, he said "Not to be harsh, but I can turn off my emotions." He said he did so to avoid drama. I was thinking... thanks a lot for just keeping me hanging after you've already moved on for all this time.

So gemini64, is my situation relevant to what you've described? The Virguy liked me but I don't believe he ever loved me.

I'm a Saggie and I've been trying really hard to be patient with him. I still can't stop thinking about him. 😢

Posted by Ccdarling

Posted by Candeh15

Posted by aquilascorpiusfemina
Virgos love to play mind games. You're a Gemini, maybe you're the kind of girl that sees love as not being a game. Love is no game. Virgos love to play in the love department.

Woah, hold on now. The last thing a virgo likes to do is play games, especially when it comes to love. We're pretty straightforward. I don't know which virgos you have messed with...

I have actually seen two types of male Virgos, some do not play games while others have been complete players. As for the women Virgos I have never met one that seems to play games. I was lucky enough to find a Virgo man that does not like to play games.

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Posted by Candeh15

Posted by aquilascorpiusfemina
Virgos love to play mind games. You're a Gemini, maybe you're the kind of girl that sees love as not being a game. Love is no game. Virgos love to play in the love department.

Woah, hold on now. The last thing a virgo likes to do is play games, especially when it comes to love. We're pretty straightforward. I don't know which virgos you have messed with...

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Posted by Ikuta07
I am just as confused as KrystalSade about this Virguy I was seeing. Thank you so much for creating this thread!

Posted by gemini64

Basically if a Virgo man NO longer loves you, he will actually do YOU a huge favor by speaking to you. but if he LOVES you deeply, he won't tell you; he'll push you away while he retreats to his man cave while analyzing his "feelings" to death. You may actually age a year or two as he "contemplates" every angle and emotion as earthly possible. and if per chance your paths cross, he'll just give you his patented Virgo stare and hope you can discern what the hell it means. If your lucky, you'll get his full critique of your flaws as he is self assured this job is made only for him; he is the master of truth.

seriously, what's so hard about understanding all of that? 😉

There is a Virguy I was casually seeing (he didn't want anything serious) who didn't contact me for 6 months after he started working at a new job. Earlier this month, I finally contacted him and said that I couldn't take it anymore and have to move on. I told him that it would have been nice for him to let me know if he didn't want to continue this casual relationship and he responded "Yea, I should have let you know." We had an on and off thing going on (kissing and some physical intimacy but no sex) and when I asked what I was to him, he responded "a friend". Then I asked if he still has feelings for me, he said "Not to be harsh, but I can turn off my emotions." He said he did so to avoid drama. I was thinking... thanks a lot for just keeping me hanging after you've already moved on for all this time.

So gemini64, is my situation relevant to what you've described? The Virguy liked me but I don't believe he ever loved me.

I'm a Saggie and I've been trying really hard to be patient with him. I still can't stop thinking about him. 😢

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Posted by gemtaur
I agree with CC. There def are two kinds. One type are so honest you think they're trying to trick you. The other kind are players (with the potential to evolve or remain players).

Posted by Joanie675

Posted by gemtaur
I agree with CC. There def are two kinds. One type are so honest you think they're trying to trick you. The other kind are players (with the potential to evolve or remain players).

Okay, this is very helpful info. Thanks! However, how do you tell one from the other? Is it just time? Do you really have to put in one or two years and see how it turns out?

The Virguy I got -- honestly, I thought he was trying to trick me until I did my own due diligence and analyzed to death everything he told me and well, I figured, if he was going to be lying, he should have come up with something better than that, lol. So I'm glad that everything checked out BUT my personal lesson is trust (I have trust issues from just haveing a difficult relationship with the master decepticon of the universe who happened to be a Taurus), so I don't want to keep looking over my shoulder.

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Posted by angelbabe
I learned a lot about my Virgo guy through Google and not through him!!! This is an unacceptable way of getting to know a person but at this point I don't have much choice since he does not communicate with me. I have never dated a Virgo or know of them as I am not really into astrology or charts or whatever but ever since meeting the guy, I realize that it is so true for him. I am a Sag btw but that does not mean anything as I am not at all defined by my sign. I have some Virgo in me actually, but I digress.

I am also wondering if most Virgo partners always end up waiting for the Virgo guy to finally decide that he wants to commit to the other person. I don't think that is fair...just because someone is a Virgo, it should not mean that they should get all the pass for treating the other person like they don't matter. It should be a two-way thing imo. I am very much willing to wait and compromise and accept all the Virgo quirks as I probably have my own but if I don't get anything back then there is no way the relationship will ever work.

I mean how long do we have to wait for these Virgo men to finally just get their heads out of their ass (I apologize for the crass words)? I also do not like to play games or waste my time waiting for someone who is uncertain of me. I think sometimes when it comes to love, when you know, you just know. I try not to rush relationships but my gosh, if my Virgo guy will not call me for two months then I am gone. Given that I met mine only a few weeks ago, he has already showed me the hot/cold, push/pull thing that they do. We cannot get enough of each other when we are together but in between dates, he can barely say hi and that is only after I send him a few messages. I get the space thing but how much does it really take to say hi and say you cannot talk or what not right?

Posted by KrystleSade
& it isn't in my nature to wait for someone so long. but i truly am INLOVE, and it takes A LOT for me to throw in the towel as i said in a previous post. so all we can really do is wait. & i totally agree with the texting. just to say hi or respond to us...they won't even do that.

Posted by Joanie675

Posted by KrystleSade
& it isn't in my nature to wait for someone so long. but i truly am INLOVE, and it takes A LOT for me to throw in the towel as i said in a previous post. so all we can really do is wait. & i totally agree with the texting. just to say hi or respond to us...they won't even do that.

Same here. Just because I've finally found a guy who has the most qualities that I'm looking for in a potential partner, I am willing to wait. This is also what my clairvoyant friend told me -- that he would make me wait. Crap. So I guess that's a given. She did advise me to keep my options open but also told me that he will still be the guy that I will measure other guys against.

For a time, I did try killing the feeling with my mind and forced myself to entertain other guys but it's a futile pursuit. My heart knows who it wants. So my game plan is to ride this out until he shows up or someone else comes along who is up to par but I am sincerely hoping that we resolve this before that happens.

Kind of reminds me of the saying, "One is always a wanderer; two are always going somewhere." I will wait but only time will tell for how long. All I know is that no matter how great he is, it takes two to build and nurture a relationship and I can't do that by myself.

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Posted by angelbabe
I also don't give up that easily. I never quit on a relationship until I have absolutely done everything that I can. But OUR needs have to be met too somehow, right? I mean how difficult is it for them to just call you or text you just to let you know that you are in their thoughts. I mean they say Virgos do not play games but isn't what they are doing a form of game play, well yeah sure, it is their nature but that simply gives them an excuse...which quite frankly is unfair. I am terrified that I might actually be falling for mine, hence, all the ranting. I know we don't know each other all that well (we've only seen each other twice and known each other about 2 weeks) but it was instant connection the very first time for both of us. He even told me he has never felt connected to anyone like that in such a long time. I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time that's why I don't want to give up but I can't also wait two years for him to decide he wants to be with me. i don't even know if we are exclusive or not. I don't feel like seeing other people as I have my mind and heart set on him already which really scares me to death. I have so many things I want to know about this guy but he just doesn't communicate. I like a good challenge but this might be a bit on the extreme side. I wish all of us who are in love with Virgos all the luck in the world. We are definitely one of a kind too for sticking with such kind. Am I right? 🙂

Posted by angelbabe
I am glad I found this forum. It helps dealing with Virgos slightly easier. Btw, KrystleSade, in the two months that he has not contacted you, have you contacted him? I mean does he live close to you? Because, seriously, two months is just way too long. I don't mind not seeing the guy for two months but there has to be calls or texts in between. You cannot sustain a relationship all by your lonesome.

Posted by angelbabe
So any update with you and your Virgo? Do you worry at times that he doesn't think about you as often as you think about him? Because I do. My Virgo is out on a business trip. He didn't tell me where and I didn't ask. I guess I could have but since we don't text or talk much, I'm sure he wouldn't have answered me anyway. Although, he did send me a message before he left to say that it sucks that he won't see me for a week and a half. I was obviously happy to hear that but it isn't enough to be honest. Do you ever feel like they are giving you crumbs when you know you deserve the whole goddamn cake? I want to be happy with the effort but that isn't enough for me. Anyway, I hope you are getting a better handle on dealing with your Virgo.

Posted by lildol
:/ odd (or maybe not), The Virgo I'm hanging out with is in almost constant touch with me when he goes out of town... which is about once a week. IDK, we're probably talking every 2 hrs or so... if I'm not calling him, he is calling me (and if he has been busy and I have been busy and we didn't speak all day, he'll finally call and ask why I didn't call earlier).