Virgo man no longer interested? (Page 2)

Posted by angelbabe

Posted by lildol
:/ odd (or maybe not), The Virgo I'm hanging out with is in almost constant touch with me when he goes out of town... which is about once a week. IDK, we're probably talking every 2 hrs or so... if I'm not calling him, he is calling me (and if he has been busy and I have been busy and we didn't speak all day, he'll finally call and ask why I didn't call earlier).

I think you are lucky that he actually calls you! I don't really know much about my Virgo since we haven't really talked much as of late. I am getting used to his pattern though so I guess in the end I will be like Krystle and just stop expecting anything anymore but he has to do something to hold my interest as well. I can't be the sweet one all the time and I can't be the one wooing him. I am still a girl and I need to know I am wanted by him, Virgo or not.

click to expand

completely understand. & i did stop expecting him to call or text. which is why i always tell myself something is going to happen when i least expect it. that helps me not worry as much as i did before. & i know what you mean,i want to know if i am wanted by him either. but time will only tell at this point. though nothing has happened. i feel something good is going to come out of it. & that's what my mind is set on,focusing the outcome. my mom sense i am leaving soon,she cried the other night. usually she is always right. so who knows.

Posted by lildol
:/ odd (or maybe not), The Virgo I'm hanging out with is in almost constant touch with me when he goes out of town... which is about once a week. IDK, we're probably talking every 2 hrs or so... if I'm not calling him, he is calling me (and if he has been busy and I have been busy and we didn't speak all day, he'll finally call and ask why I didn't call earlier).

Oohhh, the keeping in touch every 2 hours or so won't work for me. That would be overkill and overexposure on his part, lol. That's why I need a busy AND faithful man. It's also why I guess I have a lot of virgos in my life -- they're usually quiet and when they open their mouths, it's something important. It's always been quality over quantity for me (and this is not to say that whatever you communicate about constantly isn't quality).

So once I looked at my guy through the Virgo lens, I kind of understand him more and appreciate the distancing. I need it too.

Posted by Joanie675

Posted by lildol
:/ odd (or maybe not), The Virgo I'm hanging out with is in almost constant touch with me when he goes out of town... which is about once a week. IDK, we're probably talking every 2 hrs or so... if I'm not calling him, he is calling me (and if he has been busy and I have been busy and we didn't speak all day, he'll finally call and ask why I didn't call earlier).

Oohhh, the keeping in touch every 2 hours or so won't work for me. That would be overkill and overexposure on his part, lol. That's why I need a busy AND faithful man. It's also why I guess I have a lot of virgos in my life -- they're usually quiet and when they open their mouths, it's something important. It's always been quality over quantity for me (and this is not to say that whatever you communicate about constantly isn't quality).

So once I looked at my guy through the Virgo lens, I kind of understand him more and appreciate the distancing. I need it too.

click to expand

spot on! *cheers* Joanie! when me and my virgo would text he would wake me up every day @ 12noon from there we constantly text til we fall asleep. then he would call so we can fall asleep on the phone together xD so cute

Posted by KrystleSade

question what does it mean a virgo male like quality over quantity? or is it vise-versa?

My take on this would be... the Virgo male likes to spend quality time with the girl rather than the number of times he gets to spend with her.

Posted by Joanie675

Posted by lildol
:/ odd (or maybe not), The Virgo I'm hanging out with is in almost constant touch with me when he goes out of town... which is about once a week. IDK, we're probably talking every 2 hrs or so... if I'm not calling him, he is calling me (and if he has been busy and I have been busy and we didn't speak all day, he'll finally call and ask why I didn't call earlier).

Oohhh, the keeping in touch every 2 hours or so won't work for me. That would be overkill and overexposure on his part, lol. That's why I need a busy AND faithful man. It's also why I guess I have a lot of virgos in my life -- they're usually quiet and when they open their mouths, it's something important.

click to expand

Most of the time he calls and asks if everything is ok here, with me, then he makes it something important, usually asking something (minor) for me to do for him. But, he'll talk my ear off when he gets me on the phone and he's on the road (we are, after all, solving world problems! LOL). And if I don't hear from him for a while I usually call to check on him and make sure all is going smooth unless I think he's sleeping. When he's home, we don't talk as frequently, usually only a couple of times a day and he also wants to see me everyday. I appreciate it, he's not all up on physical attention when we're together (almost shy/nervous/unsure really), but he is attentive in other ways such as the calls. 😄

And seeing him almost daily I don't think is a quantity thing, he just wants to. If either of us are busy and can't, so be it - but, if I can't, guess who seems to get real quiet and down... (that doesn't mean we won't talk multiple times if at least that is doable).

Yeah, I get what you're saying. Most females would adore the attention and constant chatter but I guess that's not for me.

1) I'd get annoyed if I were doing something and he kept checking up on me to see how I was doing. Seriously. I'd be like, "Do you think I'm that incompetent that I can't get this done?" That's the highly efficient, highly organized me talking.

2) If he wanted to keep touching base every second or so (obviously a hyperbole), that comes off to me as very feminine and turns me off. I probably need a man-man -- the kind that grunts, haha. Besides, I'd be thinking, "Don't you have anything better to do?" Again, short, sweet, blissful and in small doses works best with me. I'm a Gem with ADD so that's a double whammy right there.

I guess I'm not the typical female. Men who vie for my attention and go the usual route of incessant reminders that they're alive and thinking of me don't really know it's counterproductive. I find them too needy and they get written off. In fact, when it comes to those who are too eager to text/call me the first thing in the morning when they wake up (and end up waking me up or jarring my easing into the morning), those immediately get an "Off with their heads!" dicta from the Queen of Hearts, lol.

I know it's confusing for them but what the hey, that's how I am. =P

Posted by Ikuta07

Posted by KrystleSade

question what does it mean a virgo male like quality over quantity? or is it vise-versa?

My take on this would be... the Virgo male likes to spend quality time with the girl rather than the number of times he gets to spend with her.

click to expand

thank you for take on it ^^

1) I'd get annoyed if I were doing something and he kept checking up on me to see how I was doing. Seriously. I'd be like, "Do you think I'm that incompetent that I can't get this done?" That's the highly efficient, highly organized me talking.

i am the same way. my ex kept always texting me like every 5 secs if i aint answers. that is a turn off for me. i can't stand if i can't breathe and he is always up my ass.

Posted by KrystleSade

Posted by Ikuta07

Posted by KrystleSade

question what does it mean a virgo male like quality over quantity? or is it vise-versa?

My take on this would be... the Virgo male likes to spend quality time with the girl rather than the number of times he gets to spend with her.

thank you for take on it ^^

click to expand

You're welcome. I just want to share my experience with the Virgo I dated. We didn't see each other much, but for the few times we've hung out, I felt that he was comfortable around me and enjoyed my company. 🙂

Posted by Ikuta07

Posted by KrystleSade

Posted by Ikuta07

Posted by KrystleSade

question what does it mean a virgo male like quality over quantity? or is it vise-versa?

My take on this would be... the Virgo male likes to spend quality time with the girl rather than the number of times he gets to spend with her.

thank you for take on it ^^

You're welcome. I just want to share my experience with the Virgo I dated. We didn't see each other much, but for the few times we've hung out, I felt that he was comfortable around me and enjoyed my company. 🙂

click to expand

i am glad 🙂 i hope and wish the best for you ^^ xoxo

Goshhh.... best of luck to the both of you. It's been two weeks and I am ... floundering.

KS -- I don't know how you could have gone on for two months and still feel upbeat and positive about it. Then again, I'm usually steadfast and stay the course so maybe it's just a bad day for me.

Posted by KrystleSade

i am glad 🙂 i hope and wish the best for you ^^ xoxo

Thank you, KrystleSade. Unfortunately, I ended things with him. I just couldn't take it anymore because he did not contact me for 6 months and he had already shut off his emotions for me. If he wants to give it another try in the future, I wouldn't mind. It sucks because he's such a great guy, but he's emotionally unavailable. 😢

You know what? These virgo males seem like emotional masochists. The virgo females I know are notorious ascetics and indulge in self-denial when it comes to pampering, indulging and virtually anything that would bring one pleasure. I don't get the guys though -- why do they have to shut their feelings off?

In their version of a cost-benefit analysis, wouldn't the reward be greater than the risk where love is concerned?

Posted by Joanie675
Goshhh.... best of luck to the both of you. It's been two weeks and I am ... floundering.

KS -- I don't know how you could have gone on for two months and still feel upbeat and positive about it. Then again, I'm usually steadfast and stay the course so maybe it's just a bad day for me.

😭 *hugs* i don't know how i did it either :/ but hey at least this is teaching me how to be patient. so that's an upside about it. hang in there. i was going crazy when i left him, and 2 weeks later i finally got ahold of him. but that is because he is always so busy working so. but 2 months i felt like pulling out my hair it was so bad. but then i just stopped expecting things to happen,which got me through the month. i hope things will go good with you and your virgo as well.

Posted by Ikuta07

Posted by KrystleSade

i am glad 🙂 i hope and wish the best for you ^^ xoxo

Thank you, KrystleSade. Unfortunately, I ended things with him. I just couldn't take it anymore because he did not contact me for 6 months and he had already shut off his emotions for me. If he wants to give it another try in the future, I wouldn't mind. It sucks because he's such a great guy, but he's emotionally unavailable. 😢

click to expand

i am sorry to hear that 😢 & why must they shut off their feelings for? ughhh -_-"

Posted by Joanie675
You know what? These virgo males seem like emotional masochists. The virgo females I know are notorious ascetics and indulge in self-denial when it comes to pampering, indulging and virtually anything that would bring one pleasure. I don't get the guys though -- why do they have to shut their feelings off?

In their version of a cost-benefit analysis, wouldn't the reward be greater than the risk where love is concerned?

i don't know why they have to shut their feelings off for? i asked that myself. maybe scared to get hurt again,that is why they don't want their emotions to show. thinking maybe omg i might have feelings for this girl and i just dont want to take that risk to get hurt again. ...— just a thought.

Dang. This is making me wax poetic. Reminds me of a line in Carl Sandburg's poem, "Little Word, Little White Bird"
"Love, can it hit one without hitting two and leave the one lost and groping?"

Thank you KrystalSade and Joanie675 for your support.

It was really difficult for me also, because he didn't contact much. Just to let you know, we live only 10 minutes away! *_* I tried so hard to be patient, but life is short... how much longer am I suppose to wait??

I don't know if something happened to him in the past that made him not want to pursue a serious relationship. He said he can control his emotions, but at the same time he said he can't always control it. Robot vs human— *sigh* He didn't even let me know when he shut off his emotions half a year ago. It makes me wonder how long it takes for a Virgo to analyze things before announcing his decision to end things. I've read that if they don't things are not going to work out, they will let the person know to spare the girl from pain. I'm so confused.

Good luck to you both KrystalSade and Joanie675. If you both think the guy is worth waiting for, by all means wait and I'm sure it will be rewarding. If not, life is too short to just wait around.

Posted by Joanie675
Dang. This is making me wax poetic. Reminds me of a line in Carl Sandburg's poem, "Little Word, Little White Bird"
"Love, can it hit one without hitting two and leave the one lost and groping?"

Thanks for this quote cuz I can sooo relate to it now...haha!

Posted by Ikuta07
I tried so hard to be patient, but life is short... how much longer am I suppose to wait??

It makes me wonder how long it takes for a Virgo to analyze things before announcing his decision to end things. I've read that if they don't things are not going to work out, they will let the person know to spare the girl from pain. I'm so confused.

I hear ya. He expects loyalty so here I am, staying loyal, when it would be so easy to stray. All I really want to know is if there's something I'm being loyal for. Yup, life is short. I have feelings for him but if it's not reciprocated, I'd like to move on because it's going to take some time to brush off the dust and open my heart again to someone else.

He is just not that into you...No reciprocation means I am not that into you...Are you masochist? Total pain freaks....MOVE ON

Posted by tiki33
He is just not that into you...No reciprocation means I am not that into you...Are you masochist? Total pain freaks....MOVE ON

You know what? Most of you diss Gems because we're so flighty and we don't stick around... and then, when we meet a Virgo, try to understand the their long-protracted version of analyzing the pros and cons of getting into a relationship with someone and at the same time balancing their distancing issues and thereby giving them the benefit of the doubt, you call us masochists and total pain freaks.

We just can't win with you can we?

With this Virgo guy, when he did that first distancing thing with me which lasted all of two days -- fuck, I moved on. Lots waiting in the wings. Then, when he came around, he was actually incredulous that "my dance card was filled" so to speak. (LOL, that makes me sound antiquated). So he called me out on it and we got back to negotiating our relationship and he wanted trust and loyalty and exclusivity.

Gems have no problem finding someone else and moving on but the guys we like seem to deserve the benefit of the doubt -- when it comes to their absence -- as most virgos here in the virgo forum have said that this is part of their nature.

So what now? You want us to read all the expert advice of all the Virgo people here and then not heed it so that you can still call Gems flighty? So that you can say -- as one poster said in another thread -- "Gems will only believe what they want to believe so it's no use talking to them"?

What a joke. We'll move on when we're damned ready to.

I wouldn't call you flighty just because you are a Gemini .. I would call you a douchebag, though.

This seems epidemic amongst women, I cringe when I see so many women allowing themselves to be strung along and toyed with. I don't know your story Joanie but the reality is he's not in your life, so what he chastised you for doing the right thing and moving on (he snooze he lose), you renegotiated the relationship and he's GONE, he didn't hold up his end of the renegotiation which means for you to move on.

It's sad to see so many young women do this to themselves, I'm not judging any of you, do what you want to do IMO it's time some of you all to renegotiate your worth, realistically look at what's going on, no contact, no response, no initiating means I'm not that into you, yes these men come back to see if the door is still open but it doesn't mean he wants to walk thru that door and stay.

I never called gems flighty, think your talking about someone else.

Were is DY on the virgo board when you ladies need him, DY did not do this to his wife, he was there every step of the way, there are a few virgo males on this board that are either married or in longterm relationships and they don't do this stupid disappearing act that some of you are using as an excuse to stay in a non-existent relationship....I can't imagine a woman that is desirable spending her time torturing herself like this, especially a man that is avoiding her and not initiating any type of contact only to come back around only to disappear, that's if he even respects her enough to come back around and not make her sit there holding ottoman in her lap until he returns....

A man asking for exclusivity yet he's not in your life...Does that really make sense? Do you really want a man that bad that you would allow yourself to be in ghost relationship waiting waiting waiting for him to come and disappear again? Can't you see how ridiculous and immature his actions are towards you? He doesn't respect you, your time, your efforts.

I see nothing flighty about the behavior, I do see a lot of women in a lot of emotional pain and confusion...It's a sad situation to observe.

The man bounced ... 6 pages of babbling about how miserable it is ... stfu and be that strong person you brag about being ...


Quit running your mouth and put some action to it and then maybe the Gemini might find what it feels like to actually be respected.

Posted by P-Angel
I wouldn't call you flighty just because you are a Gemini .. I would call you a douchebag, though.

Basis?

Tiki33 -- Now, that's better. Thank you for elaborating on your post because now, I understand where you're coming from. Truth to tell, if it weren't for the posts here describing this aspect of virgo males, I would have gone long before.

If you read our prior posts on this thread, essentially, all of us were asking how long would it be prudent for us to wait for him to come around. When some said a year or two -- we even said that would be too long.

Still, we asked for advice -- wait time, distancing vs. abandonment, etc. -- and no one seemed to want to pipe up, at least not the virgo males.

We don't know. We ask. We do the necessary diligence and yet, when no one answers and we have to feel our way through it we get flak for feeling our way through it. Catch 22.

Anyway, I do get what you're saying and communication and respect are big relationship things for me too so that's going to be weighed in as well.

Again, thanks. I see your good intentions now.

I appreciate your post Joanie, I wish you luck and I hope you KNOW you are so much more worth it...You are worth more than this....Can you honestly see yourself waiting on a man that isn't initiating any kind of contact only to come back around to tie up your time only to disappear again afterwards, that is not love nor is it showing a woman respect and can you honestly say you have 2 to 5 years to give away to a man that is never there, never in your life, doesn't take the time or effort to know who you are. I dunno why a woman would jeopardize her self esteem like this in this way when there are so many available men in the world that wouldn't dream of doing a woman like this.

If a woman has given all of herself away to a man, she's 100% on hold and he's done nothing to deserve her and yet she puts herself on hold b/c he says she should, b/c he dangles a pay off in her face, she ate the bait and she's hooked thus why would he care about your time, he know your on hold, not going anywhere, he can just take his sweet time, dating other women, working, playing with the boys and your sitting there alone waiting, holding onto his words while he has fun with living his life....That makes me feel sad to see women do this to themselves.

It's okay to love a man, to want him, to hope but life goes on, every day you wait your getting a day older, babies are still born, the sun still sets and rises, life keeps moving and you all should keep moving too.

If he comes back into your life, don't just let it slide, tell him how you feel about him coming in and out of your life, tell him you can't take a man serious that comes in and out of your life, let him know how him coming in and out makes you feel, if he loves you he will not want to hurt you so he will either stop seeing you altogether which is a sure sign he wasn't that serious about you and was stringing along, playing with your emotions or he will stop and become more consistent with his actions..

NIP THAT SHIT IN THE BUD, don't overlook that kind of behavior or a man will determine by your lack of interest in how he treats you as you being a doormat and it gives him the green light to do what he wants and piss on your life which means he won't have a problem making you wait, won't respect you b/c your not respecting yourself..

LOVE FOR SELF IS SO IMPORTANT, love for ourselves keeps us grounded, helps us KNOW when a man is treating us poorly, hurting us and gives us the strength to correct a man.

Posted by tiki33
LOVE FOR SELF IS SO IMPORTANT, love for ourselves keeps us grounded, helps us KNOW when a man is treating us poorly, hurting us and gives us the strength to correct a man.

This is one of the best advice... TO LOVE ONESELF. It takes time, but I'm working on it. I made a mistake by depending on Virguy to make me happy, when I'm supposed to make myself happy.

practice practice practice self love so you won't accept poor treatment from men...

TIKI33 -- I love your words and your somehow prophetic tongue. Just as I was contemplating all those thoughts about self-love, self-respect and my personal limits, boundaries and expectations out of this relationship and how to let him know about it -- HE SHOWED UP. Bwahahahha... I am happy girl =)

I'm glad that I didn't turn insecure, whining bitch on him with impatience mode on hyperdrive or else the conversation would have probably been our last. I said it's been two weeks right? Well, week 1, he was busy helping his brother-in-law who just immigrated to Canada getting settled in. Week 2, I was the one who was gone because I spent a week vacationing in Seattle. So technically, those blocks of time should cancel each other out, lol.

We talked about stuff and life plans. And yes, I'm being smart about this, until I get more commitment from him (not to mention me not shirking from it or freaking out -- I am a Gem remember), I make plans for myself and my life. If it fits with his, well and good, if not, the journey ends. And it's a good thing that my plans fit with his and is actually better for the both of us. I just found that out because as I said, I was making plans for myself.

So, I think this deserves a continued shot at it. I think I can still learn a thing or two about patience, trust and not thinking the worst -- things he called me out on when I turned schizo-paranoid cookiemonster on him when I was still figuring out what kind of guy he was before I pegged him for a virgo male.

Pace is good otherwise I'm going to be the one freaking out. For someone who knows almost every trick in the book to escape, evade, sabotage a relationship just to not get pinned down, Virgo's slow and steady approach seems to keep that in check.

Okay, so far, so good. I shall be sleeping with a smile on my lips tonight. Thank you all for the sound advice! I will keep it in mind through this journey.

I wish you all the best, yet I have a suspicion this isn't the last of his in and out behavior, 2 weeks and now 3 weeks and now 4 weeks and on and on, he's just pushed a boundary, it's only bound to get worse and more frustrating for you as you were so excited to have him come back that you forgot all about the fact that he ignored you for 2 weeks, takes what 5 seconds to text/email...You seem keen on dealing with it, I have no issues regarding that and not much to say about your decision, your smiling today and next week you will be back here implying he's disappeared again and biting your nails, hey it's your relationship, your life but I know I wouldn't dare allow a man to put me on that up and down high and low roller coaster ride but to each her own

Yeah, yeah, I know but before it can be considered a pattern there has got to be some consistency whether in his presence or absence. So let's see what pattern he establishes first. I'm also keeping my options open so there are others I'm entertaining but he is just the one I like the most. I've learned my lesson on that score.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, I have an internal deadline for this probationary period so we shall see. I don't intend to be the 2010 version of Waiting for Godot.

LOL@internal deadline...I like that word, I know you will be just fine.