Virgo Men or those you understand them...help

My virgo and I have been dating a little over 3mos. We started sleeping together after a month. At one point I asked via text what he was/not looking for and he stated ultimately said lets talk f2f. Well that talk never happened and every time we're suppose to meet something comes up, he apologizes, and add that we are gonna talk. Well one time, I said i was coming over he tried to rescedule b/c he didnt want to talk and i told him i was coming over b/c I was in town and he said "...Please... come over." and of course we had a good night but didnt talk. Anyway, it's been about 5wks and we havent talked, seen each 3 times (2 were at school). I truly believe he likes me. well this wknd we were suppose to get together, I told him i was going OOT and would be back the next day n my eta would be 12-1. Well needless to say, I get to his house, he not there, i get in contact w/ him and he thought i was cancelled our plans, and made plans w/ his mother for brunch.

I was very upset even though i see how the text were misleading. We can't seem to get it right. I do notice when i bring something to his attn he tries to fix it or adjust but I just so fed up b/c I really like him but we cant get it together. He works and teaches so i know he busy but still. Anyway, I texted him after i calmed down saying "the facts are I truly like you and I hope the sentiment is mutual, I see how my texts could be misunderstood, our communications sucks... we need to have a basic convo for the status quo isnt good. Call me when you get home"

He hasn't called and I'm afraid that he may not... i didnt mean to scare him but I'm just frustrated things are moving so slow assuming they are moving and he's just not string me along. Please advise me on this situation

i just want to add we are both in our 30s and he 4 years older. We havent had any talk about us...although I wouldn't mind just knowing we are looking for the same thing and/or if he's truly interested or just having fun. I kind of think he thinks i want to have the "talk" when have to more discovering to do. Also, I known him for 4 months prior to dating, he was my teacher one semester.

Based of the info presented im not sure if he just wants to fuck or if he just isnt sure what he wants, in my experiences with virgos they tend to be indecisive when it comes to starting a relationship or not. You cant just sit around waiting on him to decide that though, instead of fucking him that night you should have made him talk first. If theres no pressure to act dont be surprised if he just keeps the status quo till he finds someone else, im not saying give ultimatums thats a bad idea but what I am saying is, if you know what you want, you need to state what you want and stick to it. for example based off what youve said a good train of thought to approach him with would be youre not rushing anything but you want to know if theres a future here or if he just wants no strings attached fucking.

So this is a different Virgo than you came on board with.
It seems he is, but just checking.

This guy is the super nerdy type and speak on the fact that he's horny in a heart beat. Although, he does it's not like he'll call me over to anything for truthfully, he'll handle it himself. But that was just to say, he's very forthcoming and shares a lot of info sometimes. He sent me a random a text one day saying "he had a dream, like dr. King, he was a dolphin swimming in my ocean, what does that mean, I dont know, but your ocean was deep, I'm just saying" my response later was "dr. dolphin, this may or may not be uncharted waters for you...be careful you may enjoy urself too much. Your truly, Ocean." and he quickly replied w/ "hahaha, I like it, too funny." he invited me two weeks in a row to come to the evening class he teaches and watch his students PPT presentations. On one occassion he texted saying he was looking fwd to seeing me (the next day during the presentation) and actually whispered in my ear at one point, and said he was glad that I came, and the other time text me saying he appreciated my coming.I sent him a sweet text message last Sun,and he replied stating he like them and that it was very sweet... so I do think he likes me based off these most recent communications. We only slept together 3 or maybe 4 times so I dont think its only sex he wants.

ONE THING...before i went to sleep i sent him a text saying "i'm unable to discern if what i preceive to be is as avoidance is due to apprehension or lack of interest. if it is the former help me understand the root cause so i know how to proceed b/c it's affecting my ability to get to know you and if it's the later, simply let me know and I will leave you alone it's that what you want...it's uncomfortable not knowing what's going on in another person's head" shockingly he didnt respond to that either.

i hope i didnt mess things up... DID I SCARE HIM OFF?

MixedVirgo I sure hope you're right...he is perfect for me but I finally had to say something to him b/c it's frustrating and i was tired of assuming. All i want him to tell me if we are slowly working towards something or is this just for fun... i dont think we're are ready for the relationship talk yet although i'm not dating anyone else

DejaVme, yes this is another Virgo... I don't know how I lucked out to get them back to back. The one i came on board with started texting me again but he isn't about anything.

You're on his hook.

Did I read that right? In that you are so clinging to having a Talk with him, that you are suffocating your (and probably his) feelings for/with him, to the point of desperation?



sitting at school
going to his house
in all texts

You utterly fail at those ^^ times spent together, enjoying the company .... because you're focused on clamping down on him to address your issue.

In his shoes, I'd run the fuck away from you as fast as possible .. and not because I would be scared of you, rather, because you're an emotional cling-on

P-angel, I have not brought up our need to talk about what we're doing since I brought it to his attn mid July...my telling him we need to speak yesterday was so that we figure out how we going to change how we communicate I.e moving away from texting so much and more talking. Not to discuss us...

Ixion120, when I asked him via text in July to let me know what he was or wasn't looking for it was for the purpose of finding out if he was just looking to have fun...I explained to him I was looking for something real n worthwhile and he replied saying he was glad I brought up the elephant in the room, he agreed the emotional needs to catch up to physical and that we should have this talk f2f....it was his idea to talk. I just wanted to know, if he was genuinely interested in me.

P-angel, I'm not so much hung up on a talk than I am just getting some type of verbal reassurance that we are good.

So what do I do now...did I scare him off or is it a waiting game now?

I'm not a Virgo, just speaking from experience with the one I have dated for the last year. You need to quit obsessing and just live your life. You say you feel he likes you so go with your gut. Give him time to process what you have said and let him make the next call/text. Virgos move very, very, slowly. It can be soooo frustrating but if he's the right guy then what's the rush. Enjoy the journey. You may scare him off if you act too needy/clingy. Wait til you hear from him.

I will do my best to sit back and wait CrabbyCat