What does this mean?

I broke up with my virgo guy and we didn't speak for a month because i needed to sort some things out--i believe i hurt him but he acts as if he is fine. I contacted him to make things right in terms of the way i left things and then we hardly talk--every couple days we message each other and we have only seen each other twice. i believe he still cares for me but he acts aloof around me --didnt try to kiss me at all and i had hoped to see some sign of him wanting me back, but i was left confused because though he was affectionate and sweet there was a detachment to it that made me wonder if he was just trying to be friends. Then last night he calls me at 5 in the morning after work just asking to be around me because things had gone badly at work and he just needed someone to talk to. We ended up at his place kissing and cuddling the entire night and he was very aroused and asked if he could make love to me--i was hesitant but eventually we made love. He was very sweet and affectionate--no pressure at all. He held and cuddled me and opened up telling me that he felt hurt by some of the things i said and that i just left him. He tried to open up and talk about his job, how stressful it is and he also told me he loves me. I feel like this is sort of a new beginning for us--is that what he's meaning by his actions? How do i react to him now--i dont want to come on too strong or try to pressure by asking to define us.

I am not addressing his sign in particular Lissanth, purely here to give you advice as an older woman. I should say that he was deeply injured by the break. His 'aloof' behavior was his way of dealing with his pain over the matter.
The fact that he came to you for solace and understand speaks on many levels. That took quite a bit of courage on his behalf because he was at risk of pain of rejection. I am glad you did not, for once that door is closed it is closed forever.
Please take this kindly, as it is meant to be that. Take things at a slower pace. Do not expect things to be the way they were at present. Please talk as often as you can with him, try to rebuild the relationship. He more than likely may retreat a bit again. Expect this. Be patient and kind, open up to his feelings. Be there for him.

Hi Venusianbull, thank you so much for replying. I do believe that you are right in taking things slow--i am a bit scared because he hurt me so that's why i walked out. What i want to know is that he takes sex very seriously--very puritan liek in that respect and so he says that he doesnt sleep around--i believe him but when he picked me up last night i couldn't help but feel that although he needed to talk to me because he was stressed, i also believe he may have thought about taking me back to his place and making love. I confronted him with it and he was upset with the fact that i thought all he wanted was sex. I have experiences of my last "bf" using me for sex--he was also a virgo and i didnt realise--well i was very naive. So i get uptight when it comes unto that--i would prefer if he was upfront. Well me voicing these opinions he says drives him crazy because it hurts him to know that i think these things of him. As i said before we ended up making love --i allowed it because i love him and i want to be with him but it's like we hardly talk though the feelings are still there and then he calls me up needing to talk. What about all the times i wish he would have called me to talk or to see me? was it a mistake to have made love with him--was it too soon, esp since i dont know where things stand?

His actions are indicative of him trying to control himself and feelings for you.
In the end he could not and he submitted.

As for it being a new beginning... it's up to you I suppose.

Of course the thought crossed his mind. He cares about you, you care about him. The fact that he has morals that you are aware of should deepen your understanding of the man you are dealing with. If it rings true within you ( and I believe it does ) that he is not on the hunt, then he is not. Trust that. Believe in him, but also what your guts are telling you. That he was affronted should show you that he does not lightly engage in trysts, he wanted you not just with his body, but with his heart. That is a beautiful thing.
Do not hold one mans actions accountable for another. That is something you alone can work on, and you must. If you do not rid yourself of that you cannot move forward whole. There will always be suspicion or doubt from the past shadowing what could be your present and future. That is not fair to him, and in all honesty it is not fair to you. Building scenarios in your head, imagining things that are not really happening is no way to live. It truly isn't.
This is where you must communicate. It might be awkward, or make one or the both of you uneasy at first. This is where taking it slow will stand in good stead.
Invite him over for dinner and conversation. Keep it light, rebuild each others good intentions, restore faith. Turn it into a game if you'd rather. "You have 15 minutes to air out THIS ISSUE". Write letters if that is more comfortable. Some are truly better on paper, it gives an anonymity. More time for reflection and honest feeling rather than face to face time.
I know things are uncertain right now, and quite frankly that is not fun at all. But be as honest as you can with him. Try to refrain from what you'd really like to do. Which is inclusive of a bit of whining, hair pulling and other clingy behavior that will not help anything other than make you and he crazy.
The love making is what has happened. If it felt right, it was right. And that goes back around to him. If it felt right, it was RIGHT. Do not upset yourself over a wonderful moment with someone you care for.
Work on the here and NOW. And the future.

Thanks Cajun and venusianbull! Cajun-you seem to be an expert on the virgo mind--my virgo guy explained to me that his love life and friendships are separate. He has this best female friend and he and her are very close. I am very jealous at times and she hates me so i got a little suspicious--but he says she is just his friend and that he needs the freedom to have a relationship with me and his friendships. I am fine with that but what i can't get is he has me as his gf and then this best friend--how does a virgo man know that he only likes her as a friend? and me as a gf?

Vb, i have a hard time with trusting people esp trusting men--so i seconf guess everything. Even though my virgo told me he loves me and that he doesn't have sex casually i still find myself thinking what if he's messing with me at that particular moment just because he's horny. I think this is why we had so many issues to begin with--because i find it hard to trust 😢

Posted by Lissanth
Thanks Cajun and venusianbull! Cajun-you seem to be an expert on the virgo mind--

I have read all the Virgo men descriptions and they all strike me as 95% true of me.

my virgo guy explained to me that his love life and friendships are separate. He has this best female friend and he and her are very close. I am very jealous at times and she hates me so i got a little suspicious--but he says she is just his friend and that he needs the freedom to have a relationship with me and his friendships.

The majority of my friends are female.
I have been accused of wanting/flirting with them by previous exs. This is rarely the case.

I am fine with that but what i can't get is he has me as his gf and then this best friend--how does a virgo man know that he only likes her as a friend? and me as a gf?

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When we only like a girl as a friend, odds are she has already established she only wants friendship or has a boyfriend.
So there is sparing physical contact.

The girlfriend will get the affection, the hugs, the kisses, the majority of his time.

Sure I know these definitions, need a lot of interpretation. But as Dy said if a Virgo man, confesses he is yours, then he typically is.

Think positively Lissanth. Assuredly there are untrustworthy people on this pebble we call a planet, but that is not a male issue. It is a human issue.
I cleave to the good men in my life, my father who taught me well. My son, my male friends that are deeply in love with their women. Men with great minds and hearts of lions. They are in abundance if you open your eyes and see them. Men are beautiful, wonderful, maddening creatures. But we are to them too. It all evens out in the end.
You really do need to break down the walls of the cage you have created for yourself. That is what it is. A mental cage. You are projecting that onto him.
I am not downplaying your feelings on the matter, for they are very real to you. Tell yourself religiously that you've a good man. Tell those nagging doubts, the fluttering feeling in your stomach, all the negative to take a hike. Go for a walk when your judgement is cloudy, put on good music and dance till you want to fall down. Work out till you burn. Whatever works best for you for blowing cobwebs out of of your mind. Vanquish your fear. Kick its butt.
Remind yourself that just because one man saw you as chattel it doesn't mean the next won't think you're a goddess. TRUTH. Tell yourself that you are one righteous woman, absolutely worthy of good people in your sphere. Because you are.
If he says he loves you, and means it right down to the ground, then what more do you need?
And do keep your eye on Caj, Dy, and the rest of the fellows in here. They make a lot of good sense. 🙂