Passive-aggressiveness and Scorpios

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8/20/2008 11:49:04 AM | More
gslove

female

Here Here!! Don't reward him for his passive aggressiveness or he will never learn. The problem with some Scorpios is that they like to appear that they are totally confident and can't stand for other people to see their weaknesses so it is very hard to even get him to admit that he is insecure or feeling rejected. He will probably deny it until he is blue in the face. He will make it all about your rudeness that you won't answer the phone when he is obviously just concerned for your wellbeing.
8/20/2008 11:55:54 AM | More
Galileia428

female from New York

Sun Sign: Passionate Pisces

Scorpio, passive-agressive?? You will know if a scorpio is pissed. When a scorpio is upset about something, they erupt like vesuvius!
8/20/2008 12:08:33 PM | More
gslove

female

yeah Galileia, but only after you ignore all of the passive aggressiveness for a while do they erupt and tell you their true feelings.
8/20/2008 12:14:58 PM | More
Galileia428

female from New York

Sun Sign: Passionate Pisces

Maybe it's just because I'm family that my dad and sister by-pass all of the passive-agressive stuff and just go straight in for the kill.
8/20/2008 12:16:22 PM | More
IsabelScorpia

31 years old female

it is definitely a feeling of being rejected. when i feel that way, i respond the same. if i'm worrying about the person i love or i want to hear their voice, that already renders me vulnerable. to reach out and call you is in a way a risk because if you don't answer it makes me feel rejected. i know this is absurd, trust me. if i feel that i've tried multiple times and i still recieve the same response, i am apt to have the urge to behave in an immature way such as he did. but, i stop myself. it's defensiveness, self-protection at work. if he was hurt before he is most assuredly more self-protective and defensive then he even started off being. have you made him feel secure and safe? do you express how you feel about him? i think that's the biggest thing- if we don't know how devoted you are and how much you feel for us, we assume that you aren't and that you don't feel that much.
if he told you it was no big deal it could be that he does not want to talk about what he did as he knows it was immature. you can tell him it matters to you because you want him to know that you love that he calls you, and when you miss his call you are always going to get in touch with him when you can. he may feel embarressed to make a big deal out this because again, it exposes an insecurity in him (we don't like that). you could wait until something like this happens again. maybe it won't, as probably he knows he was over-reacting. generally if something happens once, i let it go. if it happens again, it's possibly a pattern and best to address it.
in general, make sure he knows how you feel about him and how devoted you are to him (if you are). once we feel safe and are certain that we can trust you, we don't do things like that. at least, i know i don't. it takes a while but if you're persistant you will prove it to him that you deserve his trust. and i don't imply that that means you should answer your phone every time, or be there at his beck and call, that's ridiculous and unhealthy. he needs to understand your perspective as well and give you space to do your own thing, be your own person, have independence, and he needs to work on his own insecurities that cause him to react that way. what i mean is that just by doing the things that you would naturally do as someone who is devoted to the relationship. he'll notice those things. and show and tell him what he means to you. and don't neglect yourself- he needs to express how he feels about you as well.
8/20/2008 12:17:24 PM | More
gslove

female

I think that even when a scorp gets angry its all about insecurity and rejections issues.

8/20/2008 12:21:43 PM | More
IsabelScorpia

31 years old female

"sent my BF a picture text last night at about 10:30 and said sweet dreams and I didn't hear back from him. He was probably just asleep right?? But in my head I started to think if maybe when we talked earlier in the day or in one of our messages that we exchanged that maybe I said something that he took the wrong way and that he was mad at me for something because it is unlike him to not respond to me. Those are just the things that go through some Scorps heads."

hahaha oh so familiar gslove. so true.
8/20/2008 12:41:34 PM | More
gslove

female

Isabel of course he called me first thing this morning and said how cute my picture was and that he was watching the olympics and didn't hear his text message beep and didn't see my text until really late last night. Now I feel like an idiot for even giving it a second thought. The torture that we scorps put ourselves through. LOL!!

I know that the longer we are together and the more I get to know him and learn to trust him that this will all go away. I am one of those proud scorpios that would never let him know that I was feeling insecure or not completely trusting though. I also would not do the whole passive aggressive thing because I know that these are my issues and he doesn't deserve to be punished when he is not doing anything wrong. When I finally do trust completely I will tell him what an idiot I was and I suspect that him being a Scorpio too that he is feeling the same exact way. Damn him though, he is pretty good at hiding it too. I did see his insecurities come out a little a time or two and me being the sick Scorpio that I am I enjoy seeing that he is also able to feel insecure. LOL!!
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