Do you like to chase or know where you stand?
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|Virgo men: If you known someone (plutonic) for years, then were intimate and became closer to her, would you like to chase or know where you stand with that person? On top of that, if you had been badly hurt in a long-term relationship, what would be important for you with someone new?|
The reason I'm asking is that I've been advised on another forum that Virgo men likes to chase, that you should never give too much away as they become easily bored otherwise. Is this the case, or would it be important to know what the other person felt before you could feel safe?
Your personal bill of rights---
You have the right to be treated with respect
Tou have the right not to take to take responsibility for anyone elses' problems of bad behavior
You have the right to be angry
You have the right to say no
You have the right to make mistakes
You have the right to have your own feelings,opinions and convictions
You have the right to change your mind or dto deciede on a different course of action
You have the right to negotiate for change
You have the right to ask for emotional support or help
You have the right to protest unfair treatment or criticism
From the book-Men who hate women and the women who love them:loving hurts and you don't know why
By Susan Forward
ISBN 13-978-0553381412 Bantam 2002
Copy this and nail it to your forehead,make one for your purse and replace your bathroom mirror with a large size of this.
Then go and buy a copy of the book and read it 50 times .
|Will you just frigging stop this S*&T already.Every couple of weeks or months you come back here and reframe/rephrase or restate your situation with the Virgo.It is the same s*^T wrapped in a new package. Then you act like this is a situation is somehow different or evolving.It hasn't changed and it won't.But I know that you will press onto prove all us wrong.|
People have given you all sorts of advice and you have taken NONE OF IT.And you keep asking what to do next.There is no next until you get you head out of your butt.And see this situation for what it is.
If he wanted to be with you he would have already.You have no frigging clue what it is to be a solider.Do you think that he can turn off his war experiences and come skipping over to you and have love and hate rolled up in his brain and in his heart?!!!Why do you think he is being wild in the bar and in the streets.Taking on women that mean nothing to him.
Why are you scared to stop drinking and not get a divorce,we don't live in the middle ages,this is the 21 century,get your ever loving s%^T together.You are an embarrassment to women all over the world.I will be taking you woman card and ripping it up.
Why would anyone get into a relationship with you,when at any second,you have the option of going back with your husband.If your not,then prove us wrong,get a divorce . I DARE YOU.
I don't give a rat poop what you think of me.You need to grow the bleep up.Drinking stops your emotional maturity.And to those who want to comment ,read her past posts.She goes around and around.Doing nothing.Going nowhere.MOVE ON FROM HIM.
Posted by VulcanLass
Lmao!!! Welp, might as well bury the horse Vulc...smh.
|why should I post it for you,I'm not your secretary.You really should read her posts to get a handle on this for yourself.Self exploration is good for the soul.|
|That is true.Point being if others read thher post before they comment,they get the picture.FYI,Page 3 Virgo Man ..what does this mean.To a Virgo a commitment is a commitment.Don't you have a shampooer to buy?|
Posted by VulcanLass
Thanks for your reply.
Have you ever been hurt by a man? You seem to have so much anger inside you. You're really lashing out in your replies to me and ellessque (with your reply above). This is an open forum, and I will post as many questions as I want. If people want to help and give me constructive answers, then great. I've received som very valid and helpful information from a lot of kind people here, and for that I'm really grateful!
Yes, I have posted a total of 3 threads here in the last 6-7 months. Even though things have not progressed in a positive way yet, I'm trying to understand this man and the whole situation, which is why I come here. And I'm entitled to do. I'm surprised that you remember details of something I posted 6 months ago. Perhaps you've been through something similar which is why you react like this?
I have never experienced anything like this before, and as you pointed out, I'm 42 so have lived and experienced a few things. As a Cap I need to understand things, why things are the way they are, and I need logic. This whole thing is not logical for me. I simply don't understand why I can't let this go, why someone like this has had such an impact on me. Funnily enough, I spoke to his ex about this and I told her that he has completely got under my skin. She said he did the same thing to her.
Love works in mysterious ways, and we don't always decide who we fall in love with. Sure, some people are extremely disciplined and shut off their heart if they feel someone is not quite right for them. I have trouble doing so. When I fall for someone, I fall hard. And hard I have fallen for this Virgo guy. That's just the way it is and I'm trying to work it all out by understanding his reactions to things.
VulcanLass, I wish you all the best and I'm sending some love your way.
Posted by ellessque
We are separated, do not live in the same country and will never get together again. Virgo guy knows this and also what the problem between me and my husband was (so he understands that my husband and I cannot be together again).
The divorce will come. A lot of people get into new relationships while they are separated. Perhaps for a Virgo this is a big no no.....?
Posted by sunnycapPosted by ellessque
One of my closet man friends is a Virgo. Wonderful, spiritual, loving,ddecent man. He is sepearated a year and dating someone. His marriage was over before he chose to seperate and has great respect for his wife. Alcoholism (hers) destroyed the marriage. He cannot divorce until Jan due to income tax reasons. But he has chosen to love again (A scorpio chick). So, in his case the still married thing is ok by him.
He IS afraid to love again, and has tried to label his new relationship as *non committed*, but he is committed to her. He has refrained from saying ILY to her but he does love her.
|Okay SunnyCap,here is some straight talk for you:|
1)I am angry because you are going in circles with your questions.I am angry because you do not choose to take a closer look at yourself and just how you are contributing to this mess.I am angry at you because you choose not to put any real effort into changing your life.And I am really angry that you keep returning and rephrasing ,rehashing and belaboring your situation and presenting it here a few months later ,like you are playing to a new audience like the rest of us are too stupid to remember your situation.
2)Yes I've been hurt and I have moved on to a loving relationship.I didn't happen overnight but it did happen.
3)Elle and I have had "dialouge "before so we understand each other.Don't worry about it.
4)You just gloss right over the fact so the this will never"progress"like you want it to.
5)One reason why you are emeshed in this is because you are dealing with another earth sign,thus the pull.But that's not the real reasons why you are pursuing him.Even if I told you,you wouldn't believe it.That is part of your self discovery.
6)I did not mention that you are 42.It is a small point,but it proves that you aren't being present in the moment by not focusing on what is said that you don't like.If you do this alot,it could be an outgrowth of drinking.Thus not accepting situation and relationships as they really are in your life.You are lumping people into together and not valueing others.You are not that scatterbrained that would happen.Which takes me back to point one.
|7)If you need logic ,you have to look for it somewhere else.Logic doesn't have a place in the heart.|
8)Correct yourself,,not that you"can't let go",you won't let go.See my first post .Read Susan Forwards book.
9)Talking to his ex-is like you're a detective and frankly quite wierd and very self destructive.If I were his ex,I make up all kinds of crap.They are ex's for a resason.How would you like it if someone started rifliing through your background.I bet he sees this as a big red flag to stay away from you.Not flattering in the least.Anyway what relationship that she had with him would be way different than what his new relationships will be.
10)Yes,love is mysterious,however.He knows what you want with him and he isn't responding.You've bought him drinks,you've watched him walk off with other wommen,you know he's got an addiction problem,you've texted him first,you dragged him into your bed.Uhmmm,that don't sound like love to me.
11)And the only I want you to send me is an update that something is new with you.
Oh, dear! For someone who's in a loving relationship, I'm surprised you need to come here and vent your anger/frustration at someone who's asking a question (or 3 as is the case for me). Again, you remember details of something I wrote in my post 6-7 months ago (a post with nearly 300 replies at that), and I'm finding it a bit scary that you should remember such details about what I wrote.
In your recent reply you're also jumping to conclusions and getting it wrong in the process.
Instead of venting your anger at me, I suggest you focus on your boyfriend and the love you should be giving each other. Treasure it, show a little humility and practice empathy. It's a great skill to have. I promise you.
All the best to you and a very happy and loving future
Don't worry about the tone of my replies.Ah if you focus on them and not the words ,you are not focusing on the message.Thus you are sidestepping what questions I asked and the actual points I brought up.
Critizing the messenger and not looking at the message will not help you.I didn't ask you if I needed to show more of anything,thanks tho.
PS.How about having some empathy for the Virgos' post war traumas instead of shifting to what you percieve that I need to work on.Focus on your self healing.You are compartmentalizing the messenger and are not having an honest dialouge with you inner self.When you compartmentalize ,you are not looking at the whole situation and what is not working about it.
In you knew people,Virgos in particular you would know that we have sympathy and empathy for the helpless,the victim and the voiceless.You are choosing to focus on my tone rather than listening to the words.Not everyone is going to sugar coat the message.You are going to shame or box me into a tone that you can deal with.You then box the messenger and the you are able to dismiss the message.That's a form of control.
You came here.I believe that you can shape your life.You choose not to.You want control of the Virgo.It ain't gonna happen.All the things you are wishing for me,I wish for you.Good luck dear.
Posted by sunnycap
Are you really asking this question?
Can it then be assumed, if it has to be asked, that there are people who would not like to know?
I mean, in what type of relationship would a person not like to know.
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