Virgo Men and Fidelity
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|I apologize in advance because I'm sure this topic has been addressed before, but I skimmed back a few pages and didn't really see anything about it (at least not from the titles). I haven't been paying much attention to the Virgo board until recently.|
Well, I have heard that earth signs are the most physical ones...that they are most concerned with physical security, health..and that they tend to crave affection and the physical aspects of a relationship.
I am thinking that maybe this is the reason that the Virgo guys I know seem to have a lot of trouble remaining faithful to the women they are with. I can only think of one exception, but I don't think he's ever been given the opportunity to cheat, because his girlfriend is with him 24/7.
My question is, what does it take to make a Virgo stay faithful? Please don't say "give us all the sex we want," because, in that case, staying faithful seems pretty easy; I am referring to testing situations where one partner will be gone. Is there anything a woman could do/be so that you wouldn't cheat in a sitation like that?
|"Please don't say "give us all the sex we want,""|
lol, that was funny.
I hear things like this all time, too, about Virgo's. Maybe it's just a male thing, and the sun sign doesn't matter, because all over these boards, women are saying the same thing about men of those signs.
It would be naive of me to say that my never has never cheated, so I won't. But, I can say that he has never forsaken me in the way I (a woman) needs to be loved. Women don't require the same as men . .
. . . so, to say "cheating", that would be in the definition. If my man gives me everything I need to feel like a woman, and to be loved to my very core . . then, goes out and bangs some stupid, cookiemonster, just like me that means nothing to him . . then, I don't know that I would consider that cheating.
First, the endearment and tenderness is still mine; and, second, I don't want to be treated like a nasty slut anyway . . so, what am I losing? What am I being cheated out of? His rough, viscous side, that doesn't care about anything except a nut?
Now, if he left me to my sorrow when upset and in need of him, to go hold another woman and tell her how much she means to him . . . that's cheating, because that is the love I require. A woman could go a lifetime without sex, it's our emotions that have to be loved to feel complete.
As always, my thoughts are always logic based. I'm wondering if I'm really a Pisces.
|I'd like to think I won't cheat, but again, that's naive to say. Until I'm in a situation where I have to make the choice, I won't know for sure.|
I can say this though, I have turned down sex, and it would have been with a woman who I would have loved to have slept with another time, but things are just not the way they used to be between her and I so I won't stoop down to her level just for a single night of fun. I didn't want to deal with the consequences of that, and no matter what anyone says, sex is never free.
As for loving more than one woman, I don't think that's possible, if you give 100% of your love to someone, then how can you give any love to someone else? When it comes to relationships, I give my all, everything I have is on the line, maybe that's why I'm so cautious when it comes to making it official with this Aries gal.
I did tell her I like being around her, and that I do in fact like her, but I made it clear that I wasn't ready for it to get serious. Because when I get serious, I take everything SERIOUSLY. So I will take my time, and if I think this is worth taking to the next level, then I'm sure it will get there eventually, as for now, we're just really good friends that have a potential for being something more.
On another note, I haven't slept with another gal since this Aries gal came along, so even though we're not in a relationship yet, I haven't been "playing" her.
|"they tend to crave affection and the physical aspects of a relationship"|
Isn't that the definition of being male? They crave the physical, we crave the emotional.
The question was: "what does it take to make a Virgo stay faithful?"
Most men, who are attached to a woman, are faithful. It's a matter of determining what kind of loyalty a woman wants.
In situations where a woman has found out that her man "cheated" on her, her first response, first reaction, very first thought that pops in her head, "he loves her". sex and love aren't the same thing, as we know, but, women can't seem to seperate the two . . to them, it means the same. If he cheats, she's worried about "love".
When a woman dreams about man she desires and fantasizes about being with him, the majority of the females are NOT thinking sexual stuff . . it's how gentle he can hold her in his arms as he whispers sweet nothings in her ear about how much he loves and desires her.
If the meaning of the word, "loyalty", is not the same between the genders, then how can either party be put on the carpet for breaching this policy?
Still thinking about it and will likely come back with another thought.
|Virgopmoon: "So I will take my time, and if I think this is worth taking to the next level, then I'm sure it will get there eventually, as for now, we're just really good friends that have a potential for being something more."|
I'm in the same situation as you are, except I'm the aries girl. Let me ask you something...When you say "worth taking to the next level". What makes it wortht he next level? Is it something that she does? Is it some kind of specific quality that you are looking for? Such as "wife material"/"girlfriend material". Can you explain? THANKS!
|Right now I'm assessing the "girlfriend material" part of it. Yes, she's fun to be around, and she can hold conversation with me and keep up with my rapid thought process. She has similar interests in how she likes to spend her freetime, etc, but I'm really assessing how much I can trust her, how much she trusts me, mutual respect, the important things, etc.|
I haven't seen this girl in over 3 years before we met again, so I'm trying to get to know her, some things I find out, make me want to take a step back, others make me feel more secure, but it's all about finding a comfortable balance for me to move on to the next stage, the "official stage" as I call it.
I know us VirGuys may not move as quickly as some of you gals would like, but if we can have our time to get things figured out, it will make things that much better when we get to the "official stage"
That's a good question . . what does worthy mean?
If that word, "worthy" gets analyzed from a different angle, then doesn't it take on the look of being shallow? Of being, exactly what Wheel said in another thread about chauvinistic?
True love is a rare thing, even just a profound love is hard to find: Shouldn't just the magnetic connection be enough for both parties to overlook the other's inequities and flaws? Yet, one party has the upper hand in determining the value of the other person, reserving that right for themselves and the other having to do all the comprising.
If you're listening, Wheels, I can see the chauvinistic quality in this statement.
What does that mean? What makes one person in higher command to make the determination of worthiness?
|Don't take offense, Virgopmoon.|
My mind just questions, I didn't mean you personally.
No offense taken, I can see it, but I know how you say "True love is a rare thing" of course it is, that's why I take so much time to assess what's going on, if this isn't the one, then I don't want to spend years finding that out, if I take time to analyze it up front, it's better than just rushing headfirst into a brick wall. (Which I can say that I've done at least twice now, my head has healed so I would like to keep it that way for awhile)
Here's another question if you don't mind. So I am falling for this Virguy and I wanna know. What's an example of the things that makes you feel you want to take a step back? ANd what do you consider trust? For example, calling you when she says she's going to call, or running in front of a bullet for you? Doesn't trust take a whole lot of time to build? What if while you're trying to find out if you can trust her (which could be a lifetime) she, in turn finds that she can't trust you because you're making her wait so long. Sorry for all the questions. AW
By the way...I sent you a message, please check. Thanks
|"What if while you're trying to find out if you can trust her (which could be a lifetime) she, in turn finds that she can't trust you because you're making her wait so long."|
Good point. Also, maybe this is one reason why people believe that Virgo's don't have passion, a soul . . . love is suppose to surge through your viens, make you feel compelled to do whatever is necessary to complete the union on all levels. Yet, here's the Virgo, not feeling that . . or, if he is . . he's electing not to express until he is satisified that the other person is worth more effort.
So, not just the trust thing, arieswoman, but, more so, feeling like the other person doesn't love you as deeply as you do him/her. Stepping back to make assessments is the most logical thing to do. Certainly, a person deosn't want to throw caution to the wind and end up at the bottom . . but, love is blinding and if a person doesn't feel this blind faith in you . . then, the passion starts to wane and eventually, you're at the bottom anyway because of this hesitation.
It appears that a lot of Virgo's miss out on things that could bring them joy, if they would let themselves be free and uninhibited more often. During our ending time, it's our memories that is the only thing left of us . . missing out of beautiful moments because of an insecurity of failure, leaves you with memories of despair and a meaningless life.
|P-Angel: "it's our memories that is the only thing left of us"|
Yup, that is sooooo true. Love is a scary thing and the heart is fragile. Virguys, you do have to be careful at times, but once in the while...and it doesn't come often, you will run into someone that cares about you sooo deeply and that you can completely trust with all your precious heart. But if you don't take the chance...you will rob yourself of true love that not only has the potential to last a life time, but forever in your memories and in your heart. And...it will be sad, very sad. I love this guy so much, not because of initial passion, but everything that he is and everything that he can become. I just hope that he will come around before his assessments slowly wash away all the admiration I have for him, which is soul deep at this moment. But will it last forever is up to him. Remember Vpmoon...it's up to him. Because afterall...we are women.
|I'd give detailed examples, but they're really on a personal level (but if you think about it, you might figure it out). The step back part is something to do with her recent past, it's not fair to judge, because I don't have a clean slate either, but I'd just like to see some signs from her that she's really changed.|
Things to make me feel secure, well, the fact that she is being understanding when I say I'm not ready for this to become serious, instead of blowing up on me or trying to rush me, she is giving me the time I need to figure things out. Another note of security, being a friend of my family is always a plus, she gets along great with my sister, and watching her around my niece has been an enlightening experience (the mothering qualities are there).
|The Virguy that I know has alot of opportunties to cheat or basically have sex with some young 20 something year olds and he's in his 30's. He loves the attention but, he is very picky. He will flirt back and even kiss or make-out with them but, when it comes down to actually having sex with them he stops it unless he wants to really be with that women for more than one night. He tells me this and I don't even ask and fro some strange reason I do believe him. He has a reputation of being a "player" from people around the area because he can be so flirty with the girls but, there is a totally different side to him when you are alone with him that most people don't see. He is very caring, sensative and loves to just cuddle. You will not see that when he is out because he likes to have the reputation that people have given him. For some reason he thinks the guys respect him and think he's cool because of it. Who knows, I could be wrong but, I don't think I am about him.|