Adreamuponwaking
@Adreamuponwaking
10 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 2650 · Posts: 6434 · Topics: 214
Another annoying post
🍿
Posted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?click to expand
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Posted by xy_sighPosted by ScheherazadePosted by xy_sigh
Is she first, second or third decan?
😂
I'm betting a Libra decan but who knows, it might be a kinder supriseclick to expand
which was is the libra decan?
third aka jun 10-20 th ish?
Posted by Scheherazade
Can’t really answer this without more detail.
Can you clarify your question?
she's playing games.
even when I'm trying to be her friend.
I think she just likes attention...so I have been better at calling her out on stuff . But it still kind of bothers me. Like I don't really know how to act w/ a girl who thirst traps and seems to be trying to get me to like her....
even knowing the underlying reasons it still frustrates me.
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.click to expand
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Posted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
I don't have trouble being direct with people who are direct with me, so I'm not sure what to say. People who won't talk straight to me get all kinds of bullshit from me.click to expand
LOL
Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by xy_sighPosted by ScheherazadePosted by xy_sigh
Is she first, second or third decan?
😂
I'm betting a Libra decan but who knows, it might be a kinder suprise
which was is the libra decan?
third aka jun 10-20 th ish?click to expand
Third decan Gemini June 11th - 21st.
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by Scheherazade
Can’t really answer this without more detail.
Can you clarify your question?
she's playing games.
even when I'm trying to be her friend.
I think she just likes attention...so I have been better at calling her out on stuff . But it still kind of bothers me. Like I don't really know how to act w/ a girl who thirst traps and seems to be trying to get me to like her....
even knowing the underlying reasons it still frustrates me.
Uhhh you aren’t really saying much.
What I figure is going on is you like her and she’s being friendly (flirty=friendly) and you are misinterpreting that and thinking she wants more because you do.
Have you told her you are interested in her?
Does she know when she crosses the line?
Why are you still trying to force a friendship from something that isn’t really friendship is more your one direction feels?click to expand
what's going on here is
I'm living my life oblivious......
this girl targets me as a conquest.....
because that's what she does/is into ( she's explicitly told me this a few times).
anyway she starts hitting me up every day/inviting me out to things. Then starts heavily flirting.
She talks to me/hits me up every day....which is how I started to like her.
I try to be super-rational about the situation...but her hitting me up every day since early march makes me have the occasional day where I feel like I really like her. Especially when she'll play up aspects of her personality I have told her I find attractive about women in general.
Posted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?click to expand
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
You like her and you want to be with her is what I can assume. Is this the same Gemini this whole time?
Asking her to help you find a gf doesn’t mean your feelings are going to go away.
If she finds you a girlfriend you will probably be hurt because it’s just a set up to hurt yourself when she complies with the redirection you are throwing out there to stay in her orbit.
Again, if she’s not interested in anything more and you are only really interested in something more then there isn’t really any friendship there.
You should find new friends and try to forget this girl before you drag some other chick into this mess for a distraction.click to expand
Hmmmm.....
it's very hard to say I really like her for numerous reasons. I do get frustrated with myself because I am attracted to her and find myself falling for her traps ( even with knowing what they are and why she's doing it) there are days where I feel like I want more than a friendship. But again that's like once or twice a month....after a lot of effort on her part. Like a lot and when my libido is especially active.
My ex didn't try so hard. But again I understand that gemini is doing this for sport. I shouldn't be personally flattered by all of the effort but it's hard not to be.
You say she's been more communicative since march. Does this correlate with the lockdown. Is is maybe boredom/need for social interaction that your perceiving as flirtation/game play?
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by Jumpin_JupiterPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by xy_sighPosted by ScheherazadePosted by xy_sigh
Is she first, second or third decan?
😂
I'm betting a Libra decan but who knows, it might be a kinder suprise
which was is the libra decan?
third aka jun 10-20 th ish?
Third decan Gemini June 11th - 21st.
3rd decan is Aquarius...
Libra is 2nd. It goes in order.
Riiiight. Which further proves her gemini friend really acts more like a 2nd decan gemini (libra decante) and NOT traits of a 3rd decan gemini (aquarius decante) which this post of hers indicates it
Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by Scheherazade
Can’t really answer this without more detail.
Can you clarify your question?
she's playing games.
even when I'm trying to be her friend.
I think she just likes attention...so I have been better at calling her out on stuff . But it still kind of bothers me. Like I don't really know how to act w/ a girl who thirst traps and seems to be trying to get me to like her....
even knowing the underlying reasons it still frustrates me.click to expand
Posted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?click to expand
I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.
But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....
Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by Scheherazade
Can’t really answer this without more detail.
Can you clarify your question?
she's playing games.
even when I'm trying to be her friend.
I think she just likes attention...so I have been better at calling her out on stuff . But it still kind of bothers me. Like I don't really know how to act w/ a girl who thirst traps and seems to be trying to get me to like her....
even knowing the underlying reasons it still frustrates me.
Uhhh you aren’t really saying much.
What I figure is going on is you like her and she’s being friendly (flirty=friendly) and you are misinterpreting that and thinking she wants more because you do.
Have you told her you are interested in her?
Does she know when she crosses the line?
Why are you still trying to force a friendship from something that isn’t really friendship is more your one direction feels?
what's going on here is
I'm living my life oblivious......
this girl targets me as a conquest.....
because that's what she does/is into ( she's explicitly told me this a few times).
anyway she starts hitting me up every day/inviting me out to things. Then starts heavily flirting.
She talks to me/hits me up every day....which is how I started to like her.
I try to be super-rational about the situation...but her hitting me up every day since early march makes me have the occasional day where I feel like I really like her. Especially when she'll play up aspects of her personality I have told her I find attractive about women in general.
Is it obvious sexual flirting?
If that’s what it is and she keeps doing it but then pulling back when you respond in turn then you just need to cut the cord and let her find a new victim.
No reason to stay around someone that doesn’t respect you.click to expand
lol i never really respond in like an affirming way. I intellectualize everything..but especially that kind of stuff.
I basically play the role of therapist.
It's only hard every once in a while she will tell me or do something that gets under my skin. But most of the time I'm immune especially as I'm not really into overt raw sexuality which is her typical approach. It is especially helpful knowing as what is causing this behavior ( past sexual trauma). Me playing into it even if I wanted to would feel like I'm doing her harm as well as myself.
Posted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?
I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.
But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....
Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.
I think you should be figuring out your own motives instead of hers, because yours don't make much sense, and you only have control over what you do.click to expand
Lol i thought it was clear in the last post. I have a savior complex.lol
Pre-med pisces.
Again I know it's not healthy. But also one of the things I like about myself. I guess something ( how to resolve my codependent issues) I can talk to my therapist about next time.lol
Posted by LadyNeptune
You say she's been more communicative since march. Does this correlate with the lockdown. Is is maybe boredom/need for social interaction that your perceiving as flirtation/game play?
hmmm ... I thought about this too...but every day? all day long? Last person, you talk to before you go to bed?
Letting me know that you are busy with work and want to be off social but still wanting to prioritize me?
As well as the nature of convos?
I'm just comparing this friendship to all of my others also during the lockdown. Everyone is more available ...but no one is hitting me up in this way. I feel like when I guide the convo it's the same approach that I have w/ all of my other friends. The main distinguishing thing is that I am more inclined to respond more promptly to her DMs. But even then it's sometimes a 4hr-24hr window which I say is only slightly better than my average response time. As a fish, we get distracted....i also have a shit ton of classwork.
Posted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?
I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.
But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....
Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.
I think you should be figuring out your own motives instead of hers, because yours don't make much sense, and you only have control over what you do.
Lol i thought it was clear in the last post. I have a savior complex.lol
Pre-med pisces.
Again I know it's not healthy. But also one of the things I like about myself. I guess something ( how to resolve my codependent issues) I can talk to my therapist about next time.lol
Perhaps I am being harsh because I too suffer from this complex and am further along the path of letting it go... Not great at helping others through my own bullshit.click to expand
I know you're right but I'm still in the "in love with my own bullshit stage" because I haven't hurt anyone yet with it...besides probably myself... I think....at least that's what they say. I'm trying to better with emotional boundaries and not overextending myself for loved ones. Getting better at communicating these things too. Yay for getting older and therapy.
It's just also hard dude when mofos compliment you on this type of ish.
I went to a catholic high school and one theology professor I had once compared. me to Jesus .lol
I still feel like that is one of the best compliments one could get from a catholic.
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?
I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.
But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....
Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.
Maybe you will impart knowledge by cutting her out of your life for good and completely blocking her and being happy?click to expand
I mean this will be the plan if and when she starts being a destructive force in my life.
right now she's just a minor pain the ass.lol
I get a little frustrated with the behavior that inspired this post...but it's not everyday.
I was trying to get tips for you guys in here to be able to better communicate to her about this stuff...without also making her feel bad...because I feel like it will also strengthen are friendship.
Like if she knows where I'm coming from...maybe she will be more receptive and stop maybe doing things that will make her ultimately feel sh*tty /empty at the end of the day.
Posted by dillpicklePosted by Adreamuponwaking
She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix
yikesclick to expand
lol yeah, I know.
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?
I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.
But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....
Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.
Maybe you will impart knowledge by cutting her out of your life for good and completely blocking her and being happy?
I mean this will be the plan if and when she starts being a destructive force in my life.
right now she's just a minor pain the ass.lol
I get a little frustrated with the behavior that inspired this post...but it's not everyday.
I was trying to get tips for you guys in here to be able to better communicate to her about this stuff...without also making her feel bad...because I feel like it will also strengthen are friendship.
Like if she knows where I'm coming from...maybe she will be more receptive and stop maybe doing things that will make her ultimately feel sh*tty /empty at the end of the day.
What good does she bring into your life?
We are asking because communication doesn’t seem to be the correct fix.
You can’t fix everyone.click to expand
We talk about a lot of school stuff and navigating academia. It's useful to have a friend who knows about that kind of stuff and is willing to share what they know.
She's also super supportive..as in a good listener /gives me advice when I go through drama at our school or even family stuff. She also encourages me..when I'm feeling a bit down or rather at least is good at distracting me in typical Gemini fashion.
In general, I also just enjoy our random convos about anything and everything.
Posted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
She’s probably not self aware enough to know that she’s getting attention and affection by using you.click to expand
I feel like she definetly knows that she's using me. Talking to other girls around her age...who have done similar things...are quite aware.
I have theorized though she might not be aware of the reason why as in how this behavior developed? As well as what she gets out of again because she's 21.
Last night I tried gently nudging her to maybe go see a therapist /take advantage of her insurance. She's gone through a lot and as a friend, there is only so much I can do. A professional I feel like could give her the tools she needs to have a happier and more fulfilling life. I wish I had found a good therapist at her age. The brain is still developing to until 25...CBT is more effective ...the earlier the intervention I'm sure.
Posted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by ScheherazadePosted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by FantaPosted by Adreamuponwaking
How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?
I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.
But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....
Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.
I think you should be figuring out your own motives instead of hers, because yours don't make much sense, and you only have control over what you do.
Lol i thought it was clear in the last post. I have a savior complex.lol
Pre-med pisces.
Again I know it's not healthy. But also one of the things I like about myself. I guess something ( how to resolve my codependent issues) I can talk to my therapist about next time.lol
Perhaps I am being harsh because I too suffer from this complex and am further along the path of letting it go... Not great at helping others through my own bullshit.
I know you're right but I'm still in the "in love with my own bullshit stage" because I haven't hurt anyone yet with it...besides probably myself... I think....at least that's what they say. I'm trying to better with emotional boundaries and not overextending myself for loved ones. Getting better at communicating these things too. Yay for getting older and therapy.
It's just also hard dude when mofos compliment you on this type of ish.
I went to a catholic high school and one theology professor I had once compared. me to Jesus .lol
I still feel like that is one of the best compliments one could get from a catholic.
That is probably the best compliment any Christian could give you, but how many people are in therapy to get over religion? lol!click to expand
ROFLMAO
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How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
It seems like you don't really like her, and you feel that you're repeatedly just getting games from her, so why her? Why not just find better friends?
I have other friends I just want to keep this one too. I just identify the most with this one at the current moment. Like I care about her. I really do. She reminds me of a younger version of myself who I want to help fix ....and yes I have codependent issues...and know it's not unhealthy.
But part of me just be able able to impart some knowledge to her that I learned over the last decade so she won't waste as much time as me in learning how to process trauma and work on her self esteem/learning to love her self. or...i think I could help her a little since we have similar backgrounds and some similar issues.....
Hence as of late I have been really emphasizing my role as a friend.
I think you should be figuring out your own motives instead of hers, because yours don't make much sense, and you only have control over what you do.
Lol i thought it was clear in the last post. I have a savior complex.lol
Pre-med pisces.
Again I know it's not healthy. But also one of the things I like about myself. I guess something ( how to resolve my codependent issues) I can talk to my therapist about next time.lol
Perhaps I am being harsh because I too suffer from this complex and am further along the path of letting it go... Not great at helping others through my own bullshit.
I know you're right but I'm still in the "in love with my own bullshit stage" because I haven't hurt anyone yet with it...besides probably myself... I think....at least that's what they say. I'm trying to better with emotional boundaries and not overextending myself for loved ones. Getting better at communicating these things too. Yay for getting older and therapy.
It's just also hard dude when mofos compliment you on this type of ish.
I went to a catholic high school and one theology professor I had once compared. me to Jesus .lol
I still feel like that is one of the best compliments one could get from a catholic.
The fact that you said "yet" worries me. You know this is gonna hurt someone eventually, and trust me, it will. Why you do!?!click to expand
I mean I know as in that's what people say. I went to a Coda meeting once not even fully understanding what it was.lol
I don't feel like I have been hurt by it...probably because I am self-aware enough. I tend to take a step back when I feel that I or the person I'm engaging with could fall into a codependent thing that will harm each other.
I've avoided romantic relationships in the past because of this.
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How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
Probably should be asking yourself that.
If she’s dodging she probably doesn’t want to let you down.
but no one is asking to be with her or anything more?
I've explicitly said that. I have even asked her to help me find a gf...and specified some qualities that are different than what she possesses.
Yeah, but what do you want from her?
Hmm ..like a general goal? I want her just to be straightforward with me and to stop fucking around with me like she wants more. Just treat me like all of your other friends.
In summation, I want a normal loving supportive friendship with clear boundaries I don't like feeling manipulated/a pawn especially.
I'm willing to do nice things for you just because...you don't have to use physical lures/hint at more. I'm a fish. We like doing stuff for people in general.
She’s probably not self aware enough to know that she’s getting attention and affection by using you.
I feel like she definetly knows that she's using me. Talking to other girls around her age...who have done similar things...are quite aware.
I have theorized though she might not be aware of the reason why as in how this behavior developed? As well as what she gets out of again because she's 21.
Last night I tried gently nudging her to maybe go see a therapist /take advantage of her insurance. She's gone through a lot and as a friend, there is only so much I can do. A professional I feel like could give her the tools she needs to have a happier and more fulfilling life. I wish I had found a good therapist at her age. The brain is still developing to until 25...CBT is more effective ...the earlier the intervention I'm sure.
It’s possible she just doesn’t know the answer.click to expand
yeah. I've been asking her questions to get her to be more critically self-reflective. She says it makes her uneasy..and she doesn't like what she finds when she self examines herself. I told her that it's normal...and one of the things a therapist can help her with. How to feel okay with herself...but also cultivating self-awareness. I get how/why she's cut off her feelings as a trauma survivor but you know that sh*t can manifest in really awful ways the longer you don't deal with it.
I mean ultimately I know it's not my role but at this time it's the main reason why I believe we came into each other's lives...so I could give her a push in the right direction. She doesn't have family members or other people in her life I think giving her this kind of advice.
Posted by akitu
Lol! Y’all really trying to find a way to blame libra for this huh? 😂 2nd Decan my ass!
Seriously though you can’t be friends with her if you still have feelings you gotta let the feelings die first
hmmm define feelings?
Trying to be brutally honest with myself.I acknowledge the attraction I have towards her and she does possess some qualities I'd like in the future mate but I wouldn't go as far as say I want to be with her. There have been several things that have been present from the beginning that has blunted it from ever being a thing I really wanted in my head ( the age difference, the manipulation/pathology etc).
But talking to her so often...I do get reminded me of the qualities or at least am becoming aware some additional things I'd like in a future mate. In my head, I'm like damn I hope future partner has this quality too and not so much like damn I want to be with you/wish we could be together. The idea of being with her even in the physical sense at times makes me feel really uneasy...she's just a kid. I'd feel like I was taking advantage of a child or patient.
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How di I cut through all of the bullshit with the Gemini?
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.
Have you tried being direct like this?
a few times.
I'm thinking about trying to be more explicit about finding out what she wants in this friendship.
I don't have trouble being direct with people who are direct with me, so I'm not sure what to say. People who won't talk straight to me get all kinds of bullshit from me.
Or people who ask the same thing over and over and expect a different answer...........
People might actually get different answers from me if they ask questions in different ways. If you need to know what I'm thinking, you have to have a conversation with me, ask me to clarify, engage me, not try to trick me into giving up the one secret that will explain it all. I don't work that way. There is no secret code I'm hiding.click to expand
Woof woof woof..
Woof woof?
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Hmm 🤔just sitting here pondering. I wonder who it is🤔
Here is the info I got for this Venus Rx in Gemini..
* REPOST*
VENUS RX IN GEMINI 2020
Dear all,
This is the retrograde that I’ve warned you about. The moment that you have all been waiting for. The Rx that is REALLY going to knock all of your bomb
What happened to Gematati?.
What do you hate the most about this sign?
Right before I told the gemini that I wanted to do naughty things to her...I told her I wanted to tell her a secret ( which was I wanted to do naughty things to her)
what surprised me was her response.
she asked what type of secret it was and then asked
They're often in the same sign as the Sun that's why Sun is considered the main sign. But here are some examples. Donald Trump is a Gemini but he's not clever, he talks like a baby, Cancer Merc, uses baby words, a simplistic and childish expression.
Ryan
This is the guy’s Natal chart that I’m interested in. We’re both 21.
Do you guys think he’s more inclined to non-monogamous relationships with
His sun & Mars is in Gemini? He also has these aspects in his natal chart.
Sun trine Lilith
Mars trine
First time looking up this word, and I immediately thought about geminis
You know I had to do it we can't leave women out of this conversation. I'm all about equality 😄.
Top 5
1sag
2gem
3 Libra's
4 cancer
5 what ever sign lizzo is lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZtRhF8YukA
Aries: soul is bright and burning like fire that is constantly growing
Taurus: soul is quite and lush as a forest that has growing flowers everywhere
Gemini: soul is warm and soft as spring but also a little rainy and cloudy on days
Virgo: soul is mois
Quotes from a piece in Ny mag:
“I’m not sure I fall out of love,” he explained in his office. “I discover that I’m unable to stay. But it’s not as if I don’t still love them. I think in the end they recognize they were probably better off without me.
Are you attracted to driven men?
I am, I don't mean, rich, I mean someone who has dreams and are chasing them. Someone who doesn't settle for the bare minimum. I think it turns me off when a man is happy with just status quo. I believe this Gemini gu
i feel like people don't focus much on placements like this
but i have to say it's so real
i've never really felt settled on one job
i used to work (not chronological) for an environmentalist, there was a fundraiser i got into, then stem cell, there wa
This is my second thread about this but I guess the 1st one was too long for people to read it 😅 So, to keep this short, about 4 months ago I met a guy who is a gemini sun, capricorn moon, Taurus mercury and venus, aries mars. I know geminis well and he d
I left my Gemini last year in December. We were close friends and we really enjoyed each others company. So I left town on short notice because I was going for a job. I told her brother about the short notice.
Then almost a year later I came to my home
Gemini flaked for the second week in a row.
Should I just burn her gift? Block her number?
I'm that mad.
Mostly because I lost all of the data on my computer .
Apple replaced my hard rive when all I needed was a new MagSafe base.
So Next Wednesday is the last day of real class that the gemini and I will have together and I've decided to move forward and officially ask her is she would be down to be friends with benefits.
I need tips on how I should do this
I'm thinking about passi
I always start my posts with hello, but well Hello 👋. If you’re familiar with my account you may know I was involved with a Pisces in a very casual way, well I’ve decided to call things off.
I’m currently talking to a few guys, the main ones I’m interest
Okay guys, so I am getting the last of the details of my wedding done, and now it comes to jewelry.
Mind you, I am not someone who actively wears jewelry at all. I only wear my engagement ring, and prior to that, nothing.
I have a severe allergy to nic
Even with me firmly trying to just be her friend, I feel like it's necessary. I don't really do superficial relationships. I pride myself on having open and honest communication w/ all of my loved ones. What you see is what you get.