Aqua Males, can you help me out here?

This aqua male, he calls and I can tell him don't come over, no i don't want to see him, and as Aqualeo puts it, he adapts! HELP!

He is not taking no for a answer and I really would like to move on, don't want no drama, he has completely changed displays of affection if you will. ?

He is not "dating" me, he is really "bootycallin me" and we have two years at this, I don't want to be his FWB and it does not seem to matter what i want, his actions, seeing him once a week, and dont hear from him otherwise..........

Am I gonna have to get "ugly" or "fugly" about it, and if so, will it do me any "good" as far as the results?

When he called, I almost didn't answer, he knew it, he said "answer your phone" when i said, i almost didn't, he said "i know". He literally came anyway, me saying no the whole way, even, "is it always gonna be like this, i say no and you come anyway?" he replied, "no". ————? HElP! HELP!!! DON'T WANT NO DRAMA, just a clean break away, so i can do me. I don't believe he is gonna step to the plate yall.......don't believe that at all.

He "plays" the control card, i even told him i had nothing nice to say to him, i was not happy with him, what more does a lady have to do. Some say stalker.....he has those tendencies, but i am not fearful of him at all. I see some sort of "infatuation" or "obsession" maybe.........this is help i am asking for, am i missing something here?

Changing my number is not a option, its a business line for over 10 years.
Or i would have done that a long time ago. That would have been easy......for real!

Second, i don't want to "call the police" DRAMA.


Third, I really would like for him to move on as well as allow me to do so, why is this not "hitting home to him" male trait, aqua trait?


Fourth.........i do stop answering the phone as well, he calls until he catches me off guard, so ultimately, did me no good not to just answer the phone and not avoid being upfront and honest. But, i do avoid his calls mostly. unsuccessful w/better longer time periods in the recent past (did that make sense?)


thanks sfish

PGA, I do believe Aquas love a challenge. I'm pretty sure that's a trait of theirs. They're nonchalant acting but driven inside for the challenge. So, you're either going to have to be come EXTREMELY clingy and needy to get rid of him or you're going to have to fight the good fight of pushing him away. But, I'm no Aqua expert but of my observations I'm thinking that's the way to go.

* * * * * Relevant Story Alert!!! * * * * *

I have an Aqua male friend in my life right now. I'm not interested in him romantically but I think he has deep interest in me. I hung out with him a week ago at the beach as friends. We had a great time. I think he was hoping it would turn adult and it wasn't going to. He's waited out two relationships since I've known him. I've set him up with girlfriends and it doesn't work out.

Well during our beach day he was admiring a Jay-Z cd of mine and so I gave it to him. When we were parting I forgot to give it to him so I gave him the keys to get the cd from the car. Well this week I discovered that my Love Songs Mix cd that I made for my ex (2nd relationship since knowing the Aqua) was missing from my car. I searched everywhere, knowing that it's always in the cd holder spot that I keep the cd's that I am listening too.

So, he's creeped me out now. I can't even be friends with him. I'm still cordial in text but it's headed to dwindling and if he gets me wrong, he will be called out on his creepiness in the worse of ways. He's gonna feel my Aries-Leo-Virg-ness no holds barred.

Who the hell stills a Love Songs CD Mix that someone else made for another person? WTF!!!!

stills s/b steals

LMAO oops. Good to know that word's not in my vocab, heh. 🙂

wow! funny, this aqua would never stoop so low, (clears throat) he instead, well, he takes it......in your face, takes it, never behind your back, he takes what he wants. Last year, now that was just too much too much too much!

Sad thing, the differences, well, i will p.m. you.


Cant be clingy when he dont answer the phone or text, lmao, he will stay away longer if i express my wants to see him, i did that on purpose knowing it would work, but it is not right, then he will use it to me when i want him to go for real. I believe he knows this, but he doesnt want to accept it, yet, he is not ready for me or commitment, he is still seeing others, not like he aint a male whore, cause i believe he is. he was seen last week out w/another, so see, adds to the why dont he just go do what he does an leave me be. Aqualeo made the most sense, and if it would be good, i would be all in.........

Tell him you're pregnant by another man... 😉

Completely ignore him, us aqua males hate that more than anything.

uh duh, bjou and leokitten. That's the whole problem.

She likes him and wants a relationship
He only wants to bootycall her
When she pushes him away he comes on stronger
She then thinks he's finally got his stuff together
So she starts showing her feelings again
He then goes MIA (that vicious cycle)
While she loves him, he's not giving her what she needs
So, she has decided to rid him from her life, regardless of her love for him
But, he won't leave because when she pushes he opposes and when she pulls he flees

She is not to blame for loving him but commended for trying to push the man she loves from her life because this cycle is vicious/unhealthy.

She came to this board to find ways to make him FINALLY leave because he knows she loves him and won't leave her alone. Because she loves him and he is not domestically violent she is not interested in bringing in the authorities (I wouldn't at this point either) but in turn she needs him to leave, whether she REALLY wants him to or not. She can't heal if she continues this.

And, FYI... all signs are capable of playing games, including Aquarius.

bjou, duh is offensive. I'm sorry for offending you. It was unintentional intended to penetrate that deeply but nevertheless unnecessary in order for me to get my point across. Please accept my apologies.

Actually, I wasn't challenging other opinions of what she should do only didn't want the picture painted in her thread that she was playing games and only here to because she wanted some strategies to hook him. I think that was really harsh on her and I took offense. Yes, I see everyone at face value. What you show me is reality until I see something else on my own.

Also, she has never declared that she didnt love him and I didnt want anyone to think that he was just some guy that she was toying with. She has feelings for him and she's dealt with him for 2yrs, that's no drop in the bucket for anyone who thinks she should just call the police or totally ignore him (and her heart). He's not some guy she went on a date with that tried to date rape her and so now she needs advice. She's been emotionally tied to him for 2yrs.

Some people can get up and move on easily others need baby steps. If he was totally ignoring her and she was pining for him then yes it might be easier for her to move on. But, he's coming back (intrigued even) when she tries to let go. And with a suaver persona like he's finally got his stuff together.

Being in love with a man with bad behavior is not as black and white and people on the outside see it. Giving up on your hopes especially when someone is making you feel like they've changed is really hard. There are women who are married to alcoholics, gamblers, drug addicts, and physical abusers who can't leave. He just has the habit of trying to bootycall her instead of commit to her. I don't know, maybe I'm just remember when I was in this position and that's why I can sympathize so closely.

Bjou, thank you for understanding that it's different when you're in the situation than looking from the outside. I do hope that she is able to finally be free as well.

Thanks to all

I am not "playing games", more like playing for keeps in the game of life, my sanity vs his ego fill of my time and affections.

Somewhere, I guess i left out the fact that i am currently transforming my life, changes i want to make within myself, so yes, self exploration is something i do and will be ongoing do for the rest of my life.

Part of the reason I do look to others is to be what i need to be for me, as i have self change ongoing....fact. But to also see others POV as so not only my new "filters" if you will take affect, but also to have opinions to weigh my own thoughts and experiences against.

There is much difference between he and I. He is younger by 9 years. He is not a parent, much less a grand parent, he has never been married or in a committed relationship for more than three years. He is still attending college for his Bachelors. Now, I am a parent, grandparent, Uneducated by books and been in my last marriage for 18 years and married too young as well the first time at 15. So, diverse........completely different life experiences, so my tolerance level, well, much greater than most, life has taught me that. Judgmental, no. Cautious, yes.

Mrs A does have it nailed on this deal w/our relations. Thank you again for speaking better for me than i could have myself!

I have taken NO offense.......only consideration of all opinions which is what i asked for.

thanks

so after that behavior she chose to continue talking to him.

sounds like SHE is inviting her own drama. SHE controls her life....SHE controls her actions. Sounds to me like SHE is the one who needs to do something.



I think that is what i am attempting to do, find a peaceful end that he will accept. I have been unsuccessful so far in my attempts to do this.

I need to be MORE solid in NOT answering my phone, and Not responding to him, he has no responsibility in the fact i have spoken w/him as adults and asked, requested him not to contact me further. Said no and he comes over anyway.....hmmmmmmmm

Seems to me like he brings me drama, this is true, by a simple moving on with himself and the other people he sees and deleting me off the list of games he is playing. Not the game i am forced to participate in or forced to act in a manner in which i do not want too or have chosen to to portray. I am in love with this man for a long time, not just a new fling.

Thanks for your input, my recognition was to think through whether or not this was a un conscious thing i was doing, cause last year, i would have loved for him to feel one ounce of the hurt and pain he inflicted unmercifully on me, i will not lower myself to his way of being. NO, I will keep my stand and keep respecting myself and being the better person i chose to be!

Ladies from Astro pov, she's a Gemini mutable sign so that's looking to be a big factor in being as decisive as fixed or cardinal signs. It'll look like she's going around in circles or two different paths at the same time.

Generally, they're able to be more sympathetic to all sides of a situation before fleeing the scene. She will make a decision with time.

Good luck PGA.

When you both are ready to speak reasonably then you will know because he will approach you with respect and ASK if you can speak together. You may not be interested in hearing it, but that would be a good start - him showing respect for you.


B2, this is the course of action i did before, and that was the result. For him, he is still striving to not be disrespectful of me, it is WORK for him, conscious work. I let it go too far in the past, that is for sure.

I am currently in the mode of "NO HARD CONTACT", LOL, which i guess is "fleeing the scene" I sent him a text stating i would no longer b answering 4 him. Peace and b happy.

I do not want to tear apart each or go to the hate zone, thus the hard decision i have made.

Thank you all so much again for you input, for each of you add to my thoughts and process of how i work through this, I love hard core honesty and not too easy to find.


LEOKITTEN, you are correct, it is my decision and I have this choice to exercise, and i will with a open heart and good intentions of hopefully both of us in benefit and growth.


zenalchem, thanks, i need all the luck i can muster my way.

B2 I am also going to go read that in the Pieces board, I dont read that one, I would have never found that. thanks again

Sorry Perfect Gem I agree with LK and Bijou on this one - if he really was getting to you, you'd put an end to it. There's nothing wrong with saying, in no uncertain terms, back off you're becoming a cling-on, I do not want to see or hear from you again. And if you truly meant what you were saying, if THAT still didn't work, yes you'd change your number and possibly even have a restraint issued. Do what you have to do but unless you're serious and actually do want him to piss off stop complaining and being the damsel in distress - some woman fantasize about having a stalker. I've been there, it's scary and it's messy and it's very disturbing - not something anybody should fantasize about.

Fantasy my Arse! I wish!

I did not see what you have hidden? So?

But I think you have jumped to a poor conclusion no, changing my number is NOT gonna happen, that is my main business line for over 12 years, that is income, no no no, he gonna have to stop calling or its gonna get ugly, which i don't wanna do, but will, and no, don't have to go to drama police to do what i got to do. differences of how to handle things, but thanks for the opinion. And I DO want him to go on, if we ain't here for the same reasons, and we are not, then i don't call him, i don't go to his place and he should do the same, especially after he has been asked repeatedly. Hell, I even told him I DON'T WANT HIM, what more ya gotta do ——??


He ain't here to make me happy, go on with himself!
I am no damsel in distress, nope, that ain't me either, oh no no, LOL!

I cant be the only one here responsible for ending what is not working for me, when i have taken many extreme measures!

I must agree.
My ex-husband stalked me and I put a stop to it - legally.